| THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016). |
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*wafts* discuss |
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falling in love with men, and I am not sure how often that really happens anyway. |
my life is pretty darn good, can't complain too much at all. |
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first impressions can make a big difference. especially with shallow women who might build up a personality based on a couple of coversations--then they fall in love with the image. maybe that's why so women dump boys once they get them. |
I lust after vin diesel, but I bet we wouldnt be compatible. |
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sure spider, understandable, on a general level. shall i make it a personally directed question in order to attempt to make an interesting thread without any political crap what so ever? Ultimately thats what I was trying to do. The situation, in which this woman-friend revealed this thought to me, involved her increasing disapointment in her boyfriend, not so much because of who he was or what he had done but because she, after several years, had created this image. The image was based on that initial stage of love when everyone is on their best behavior and any stray from this image just disapointed her to such an extent that she inevitably ended up hurting her boyfriend for no seriously justified reasons. Have any of the woman here found themselves in a similar predicament? guys? |
that being said, i still think he's cute and funny. |
this is my arguement against psychology as a science. |
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This is my argument against Nate as rational. |
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pov is an important matter. as one learns more about a person, they may or may not like what they see. simple as pie. |
i just found out that all of my friends are divorced, except for the ones that have babies. |
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I have kids, I'm divorced, everybody survived, I still love my ex, but there's no way in the world we could live together without killing eachother. Too much tragedy, too much hurt. I have nothing to add about divorce: some people should never marry in the first place. Just treat em the way you would want to be treated, with honor, respect, diligence, caring, trust, humor, touch, frequent silly little gifts, sly smiles and passionate lovemaking. The world'd be a better place. Like I said: I know nothing; just ask any one of you out there... |
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love triangles, or as it seems lately, love webs suck. tons and tons of over-complicated relationships.... and there's nothing you can do except be yourself. and try not to get hurt too often. |
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Really. I'm terribly lucky with my two sons in whom I am more than well pleased, and so very grateful. |
Daniel, I know lots of women who want men with experience. Just look in the single mom section. |
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Ha! |
and the baby makes her fall asleep by 9 i'd like someone who wants me for more than my dragon-lagy fingernails, i mean my secret family recipe for liver and onions |
Micki is 2 so she is still in the fun toy phase, and the only real challenge is the typical she doesn't want to do what she is told. There is nothing wrong with being loved for your dragon lady nails!!!! |
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i think women fall in love with the way a man makes them feel about themselves. and vice versa. |
Is a man there after responsible when she may not feel so good about herself? If so, is this justified? I appreciate your post as I thought this could be an interesting discussion. |
Only if the man has done something directly to hurt how she feels about herself, and that goes both ways. If the woman hurts the man's self image then she is responsible for making him feel better about himself. Before I started dating spunky I worked very hard to decide who I was and who I wanted to be and am always working on being that person I want to be. I love who I am now and would only change this to grow personally. Spunky understands this and is good at helping me keep things in perspective. Hopefully I do the same for him, help him be the man he wants to be. |
I mean really.....its easy to fall into that way of thinking but do you really give such power to others that they can almost control how YOU view yourself? I try my best not to give that to anyone. "Only if the man has done something directly to hurt how she feels about herself.." Food for thought....say I call my wife a "big ole fat hog who smells like space doody". What should make her feel bad? That i THINK she is a big ole fat hog when she knows damn well she's not or the fact that Im being such a prick to say such an untrue and mean-spirited statement? The latter is more sensible isnt it? It doesn't give me the power of altering her self image, thats her department, not mine. While waiting for Sarah's input....I will say i think its wrong to look to anyone else for self imagery. |
I unfortunately know quite a few people who take things that aren't necessarily directed at that and turn it into that, they usually rebel against what was said and make it even worse. An example would be my cousin. She was a beautiful person with long blonde hair and big brown eyes and she was always chunky and a big wuss about anything that required physical activity. She had a good heart and was one of the most cosniderate of any of us. She got involved with a man who doesn't tell her "she's fat" but refuses to have sex with her because "she needs to take better care of herself". She internalizes this and it eats her up. She rebels against it saying there isn't anything wrong with her, and he needs to get over it and then takes even worse care of herself. To the point where her health is jeapordized by it. She is now 5'1" tall and about 350 lbs. She doesn't bathe on a regular basis, her golden curls are ratted brown matts, she is unbelievably selfish. She has let him have an effect on her self outlook and the girl and woman I once knew has completely disappeared. The only thing we can talk about is her mothers alcoholism and addictions. She has completely lost herself now. Because she let him do this. I think it is wrong. She still did it, and I think by the time she realized it (if she has yet) she didn't think enough of herself to change. |
so. the guy was a jerk. she chose to stay with him. she let herself go. what does he have to do with that? |
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Cute and funny make up for ugly toes and poor musical talents, most of the time. Sometimes cute and funny can't cut it either. Shared experience, mutual respect, supportive loyalty, and honest vulnerability all go a long way to make up for cute and funny. |
nah. in keeping with sorabji tradition.... severe and volatile ass sex will make up for these anyday, anyhow! |
mine, cat. I can't comment on the screetchy- singing part, although sometimes I do sing to the cats when I am in the shower, which can border on screechy. |
sometimes (alot of the time lately) people i like make me feel bad, but i can justify it because i know they don't mean what they say in the way i want to take it. i leave them alone for awhile because they're grumpy. that sounds overly simplistic, but it's true. you have to realize that it's not your fault, and you can't mean a thing if your mind can be swayed that easily. understand that life is all about compromise, but never be afraid to live your live exactly how you want it. * * * love is about acceptance and pushing for the better. it's about self-esteem and enjoying yourself. it's about flirting and walking and talking entirely too much, and the occasional ass-fuck (is that sorabji-ish enough?!?!). now i need to make sushi. |
Don't you hate toe whiskers? Why don't more people wax their toes? |
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Or do you mean your second toe from the big one looks like ET,with an odd little face,and strange little personality characteristics? |
As do all the little piggies. |
being In Love made me sad all the time, but it doesn't always have to be that way. on the whole I think love is really quite pleasent. |