| THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016). |
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Sarah, You are never to contact me or anyone in my family, ever, for the rest of your life. As far as I am concerned, you have died. My family will not be contacting ou at any time, nor will they respond to any communications you may attempt to have with them. You will never know about the death of your grandfather or grandmother or anyone else in my family. Richard has been instructed never to contact you if I should die and you are never to be told where I'm buried. You have been totally disinherited. Also, you'll never be notified of any of the events in this family - you are no longer considered a part of this family. You are a liar and a very evil person, continually perpetrating evil actions. I consider you a piece of human trash. I'm enclosing an itemization of the expenses we paid for your move from Hawaii to Texas - which I understand you believe was "a little help with the move." Well, if minimally $12,309.66 (for which I have receipts) spent in 4 months is such a little bit of help... I expect full reimbursement. Your Dad never paid child support (even though he was making over $100,000 a year at that time) until I took him to court after we were divorced for 5 years, I paid for your college education and he contributed $2,500 to $3,000 a year - I paid $6,000 just for room, board, and tuition - not to mention clothes, car, gas credit card, clothes, rent and spending money. Hmmmmmmm. I'm a mom who "was never around." But, strange that I worked all day and after I picked you up at 5:30 p.m. every day, my entire life was devoted to making sure that you had dinner, clean clothes, went to events at school and church, worked so that you had a car, gas credit card, great clothes, had friends stay over, and a college education - hummmm. Always there for mother-daughter talks. I understand that you would prefer that I went on welfare, stayed home while you were in school, didn't have a decent place to live, ---but, hey, I'd have been "a mom who was around." You were loved boyond belief by me, your grandparents, Aunt Nancy & Uncle Patrick, but those are the people you accuse of abusing you. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I am having your personal web site monitored and if there is any reference to me or anyone in my family you will be sued for libel. You do not have permission to talk about any of us nor refer to any of us on your personal web site. I understand that you are seeing a counselor on a regular basis who it appears has not helped you one bit. I would highly recommend that you find a psychiatrist. You are a very mentally ill person, but a typical Bruner. Your Aunt Regina is "psycho" and your Dad is a "druggie, stealing, drop out," and that's the family you seem to be able to relate to - an do it so well. I have destroyed all of your childhood photographs. You are a mean, self-centered, selfish, and uncaring individual who seems to thrive in that negative life-style rather than grow up and be responsible for your own actions. Again _*do not ever contact me again - I have erased you from my life in every respect*_. Marilyn Blough |
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this letter was accompanied by a huge box full of letters, mother's day cards, gifts, and early childhood memorabilia. |
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Maybe insanity does run in the family. Her side. It's is either that or you really are a selfish ungrateful child. I would prefer to think it's the former. And, maybe psychological intervention could help. |
An example of a similar situation (though not quite as bad). Spunky and I got married on January 11th. The christmas right before our wedding we were going to go to his family's in Kansas. The day it happened Hayley was so sick that I refused to travel. We got a message on Spunky's cell phone that was much like your letter saying that everyone was so pissed that we missed it and he should have gone without us and left Hayley and I at home and seen them anyways. She said that his grandparents were so pissed at him that they were now refusing to come to our wedding in two weeks. I was shocked. We sent their christmas presents to them and said we would come out on New Year's to celebrate Christmas with them. We labeled them to "Mom & Dad Hixon". He got another message stating that I am not their daughter and had no business signing the stuff to them like that and that they wanted to take all of our gifts and throw them in the trash. I was like fine, send them back to us and I will eat your damned Hickory Farms gift basket myself. We got out there and they had ripped all of the labels off of all of the presents, but sat there and opened them like nothing had happened. Our wedding day came around and we didn't know who was going to show and who wasn't (after all this bullshit drama). His grandparents were there. They didn't understand why we were surprised to see them, so we explained to them that we were told that they weren't coming to our wedding because we didn't come out for Christmas. They were shocked. They looked at Trace and said that they never said anything of the sort and that he has a family with a daughter now and has to make his daughter his priority and they were glad he did that. That his mother was the one who had the problem and she just had to get over it. They even came to visit us (without his parent's or thier knowledge of said visit) a month later, and we have had a wonderful relationship with them ever since. His grandfather passed away, but we are still close to his grandmother. So it did end up being a problem with his mother but not anyone else in the family. I know this is a different situation and not quite as bad as the one you are facing, but hopefully it will let you know that we can understand what you are going through right now, and know how hard it is. Just know that we care about you. Your mother will one day regret these actions. She might even get to the point where she admits it to you. Then again, this is coming from another evil person who spreads her evil to everyone she touches, and causes Spunky to do the same...just ask my mother in law! |
Parents who are innocent of wrongdoing do not lash out in soul-annihilating rage when their kids criticize (validly or invalidly) their past behavior. Just looking at myself, I know that the most violent arguments I've gotten into are the ones that have involved me recognizing, but not wanting to admit, that the accusations lobbed at me were true. |
short of attempted murder of your mom, i cant imagine what one could do to spur such a response. my god.......does she know of sorabji? could we plan some sort of response ala J-Style? in my experience its usually the insane who call others insane with such insistance. |
She doesn't want you to contact her again, eh? How does she expect to get all that money if you don't contact her? If she wants no contact with you, then why is she monitoring your website? Sounds like a lot of contact to me... |
We were going to have our families over for thanksgiving dinner. We had done everything. My mother wanted to know what they should bring. We said nothing, everything had already been done. She refused to come over because we would not let her contribute anything. My father came by himself. |
i can barely comprehend your situation. what's up with all the forbidding? I'd also be forwarding the letter to all who are forbidden from contacting you. here, we have a local weekly, the stranger, that runs an op-ed style column called "i, anonymous". that letter is perfect for such a column. libel, indeed. so sorry, sarah. |
So Sarah's mother assumes that everyone else in their family shares her sentiments? Not only has she hurt Sarah, but she's hurting everyone else in their family who loves Sarah and wants a relationship with her. Talk about mean, selfish, and uncaring. |
yes, she's crazy. the interesting thing about the letter is that she makes it seem like i had said, or she had heard that i said, that she "was never around". well, i never said that, never thought it, never implied it. if anything, my mother was *always* around... relentlessly around. i was never short of attention in her household. that statement comes from her, and her alone. she must believe that she was never around. i never said anything about "a little help with the move" either. in fact, i've never done anything but thank her and her husband for anything they've ever done for me or given me, monetary or otherwise. i'm not one of those people that believes your parents owe you shit, so whenever they did anything for me, i always expressed gratitude. they offered to help me move to austin, i never asked for a dime from them. my mother isn't really upset about these things. she's angry because i came to florida and went again without making a peep, without addressing the issues that she yelled at me about before i arrived when she uninvited to christmas. i just went, stayed w/ my grandparents, saw my mother on xmas day, spent the rest of the time seeing other people in my family when i could, and went about the rest of my time down there doing my own thing - shopping, going to the gym, basically just buying time and staying out of everyone's way. which is why this letter is surprising. she makes it sound as if we had some sort of fight or that words were exhanged while i was down there. there was no fight whatsoever, no arguments, no nothing. like i said, i went there and left with no drama or fanfare. xmas day came and went without a hitch. i just minded my own business and left and partied in key west. so as hard as this might be to believe, i honestly have no idea exactly what spurred this letter and where all of this hatred comes from. my sister says she's obsessed with me - with what i do, what i say, what i think. i think perhaps this letter and her actions are a cry for attention. but i can't give her what she wants or needs. she's too angry and hateful. it's sad, but that's the way it is, the way it always has been. i think she wants me to treat her like a saint for her having gone through such a horrible life of sacrifice to raise me. well, i love my mother and i think she did the best she could, but my childhood was hardly ideal. yet, i don't blame her for that, nor my dad. it just was what it was. i don't really care about my childhood, haven't cared about it since i went to college 15 years ago. it doesn't matter what happened then. life has definitely gone and i'm doing just fine. i don't have any desire to dwell in the past, but it seems like she is. anyway, it's out of my hands. i'm not going to respond to the letter in any way. maybe the saddest thing of all is that i feel like i can live with being dead to her. in a way, i left "her" family behind in my heart a long time ago. having any sort of relationship with my mother always required so much effort, there's always problems and drama, her feelings are always hurt, she's always angry, and nothing is ever good enough, it's never how she wants it. i think maybe i've been dead to her for a long time. but that's the reality she's created for herself and i don't need to be a part of it. |
i was forbidden to behave a certain way when i visited them in florda. i wasn't allowed to disrupt their days or their plans with, say, needing to get something to eat. i was told to be polite and carry snacks around with me so that they wouldn't have to stop whatever it was they were doing to get me something to eat. there was quite a list of things that i had to do or not do. walking on eggshells. that's the way it always was, actually. never knew what i was going to do or say that would set her off. crazy, innit?? the thing is, i can't even be mad. i just learned to go along with it, because i'm adult now and i don't have to live with her. but even that didn't work, in the end. the night before i left tampa i had a long talk w/ my grandparents about her and her anger with me, and the constant drama over the years. my grandfather, all doped up on prozac and xanax, left me with this final piece of advice, "We learned a long time ago, when it comes to your mother, to do the best you can, and after that, give the rest to God." so, that's why i'm giving it to sorabji ;) |
It's very bizarre that she thinks you had some sort of fight when you hadn't. Maybe she's having some sort of paranoid breakdown. |
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are you concerned at all of the people she claims she speaks for, or are you completely confident she speaks not a word for them? |
i'm not sure about my cousin, aunt, and uncle. i wrote my cousin a email saying i got a strange letter from my mother that claims that nobody in the family is going to communicate to me, and said i wouldn't contact her again if she would just write me one email and either say yes, she is going to to communicate with me or no, she isn't. i haven't heard back, but i guess if i dn't hear back in the next week, then i've got my answer. my cousin and her family fall into the kind of camp that believes that nobody should admit to or talk about any bad things that happened in the past or bad things that currently are going on, that you just have to "go with the flow" and pretend that everything is okay. the problem is that my cousin and i went out drinking one night while i was there and *by her prompting* we ended up talking about my mother. in fact, she told me a bunch of stuff that her mother (my aunt, my mom's sister) told her about things my mother did when i was a kid that i never even knew about it. so perhaps my cousin went back to my mom and told her about the things we talked about that night? which, i never once badmouthed my mother, so i'm not sure what she could have told her anyway. i just kept saying how she is the one who is angry, not me - how all iw wanted was there to be forgiveness and peace, how i just want to stay out of the way. i said over and over how it feels like everyone blames me when my mother and i are at it, but i'm never the one who calls up yelling and screaming and making demands, or writing mean letters. she's the one who is mad. i don't know. honestly, it just doesn't even matter. what's done is done, and i'm not going to blame anyone or be angry. i'm hurt, but i've been hurt before in a variety of contexts. that's life. i'll get over it. |
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oh man. now *this* makes me sad. in the box i found a book of short stories i wrote in 5th or 6th grade (earned a bullshit grade of B+). the text is all hand written by me, a lot of it in pencil. my mother had gone through the book with a pen and traced over my writing, presumably because it was fading away. that's not the sad part. the sad part is that on the dedication page i had written: "This book is dedicated to my dad, Joe Bruner, who is the light of my life." but my mother, trying to copy my 5th grade scrawl, wrote underneath it in different colored ink: "Also to my mom, Marilyn Reed, who is the light of my life. I don't know what I'd do without them." ouch. but i'm pretty psyched about having a few of the things in that box. for instance, my very favorite book when i was a kid "Rotten Ralph". if i have kids i definitely will read that book to them. in the story, the family's cat Rotten Ralph is a really bad cat, who gets in all sorts of trouble. he sits in dad's chair and smokes his pipe, and he gets into the lobster cooking for dinner, among other things. the daughter's name is Sarah. anyway, the family kicks him out of the house and after a series of misadventures ends up cold and alone at the circus. but then the family ends up forgiving Ralph and taking him back. |
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Just glad you have some sentimental posessions back. |
I usually shy away from this type of conversation, but I am very sorry to read that letter. I remember when I got discharged from the Air Force on my 28th day of the 30 day basic training for stress fractures (hairline fractures on both ancles that can only be mended by breaking them completely) on both ancles (that just does not look spelled correctly). My mom sent me a letter while I was in med hold. she told me what I could expect when I got back in Harrisonville (not home). I had to pay rent, do my own laundry, buy my own car and pay my own gas and insurance, etc etc etc. She thought I was lying about what happened. And it was the first time she signed the letter Roxanne instead of mom. To this day they do not sign anything from Mom & Dad, it's always from Rex & Roxanne... Listen, this is not to minimize the hurt you feel or the nature of the letter from your mom. Parental relationships are hard enough to understand when you are growing up, but once you are out and on your own, maybe with a family or with a career or what ever, maintaining family relationships can be hell. If I were you, I would not be interested in repairing things... |
i thought my parents were hard to deal with. i was wrong. i am very sorry. |
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I'm sorry about all of this, but your strength and maturity is inspiring. And I'm glad that you got your things back. |
*************************** I'm sorry that you and your mother can't seem to communicate more effeciently. It is possible that SOMEDAY you and your mother will see eye to eye. Hope you had a great time in Key West. Take care, Andrea >From: "sarah" >To: "andrea" >Subject: ? >Date: Fri, 17 Jan 2003 09:30:10 -0600 > >hi Andrea, > >happy new year! hope you and folks made it > back safely and uneventfully from florida. > >so, i got a letter and box full of stuff >today from my mother. in the letter it >says that everyone in the family will not >respond to any communications i may attempt >to have with them. > >is this true? are you really never going to >speak to me again? i hope not, that would be >terribly painful and obviously not resolve >anything. but if it is true, if you could >just please email me back once and let me >know either yes you will talk to me or no >you won't talk to me, just so i know - i >would greatly appreciate it. > >either way, please take care, Andrea. it >was great to see you over xmas and reconnect. >and good luck w/ ryan - i really >hope it works out the way you want it to. > >love, >sarah |
Good luck either way! |
saying that sarah and her mother have a "communication problem" is an understatement if Ive ever seen one. |
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Sarah My heart goes out to you in tiny shattered pieces. I don’t know the history of your family or why your mother is so angry but it is obvious she is full of hate, anger and rage. I can not begin to imagine how hurt you must feel. We (every person born to a mother) has this belief that Mothers never hurt their children, never abandon, and always, regardless of any pain their children inflict upon them, love their children unconditionally. Fathers abandon their children every day, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and yet as a society we accept that and forgive them much more readily than we do mothers because our exceptions of mothers is far beyond that of any father. Your mother is so full of rage and pain and feels so unappreciated that she has to lash out at someone. It sound like it’s because you have forgiven, accepted, loved your father in spite of his failures and criticized her for hers? I don’t know. I just know that you can’t put mothers on a pedestal, they are not god like, they are strong but very fragile creatures. You have no choice but to end all contact and conversation to your mother. You could try to apologize, sincerely that mean’s no butt’s, no explation of why you feel the way you do, or mention of mistakes she has made. My guess is though, you have done that. So, cry your eyes out and say goodbye because she has no will to forgive. It sounds as if your father needs to do the apologizing though, because whatever he did to hurt her, still hurts and her way to hurt him, is to hurt you. Your mother can take herself away from you but she can not take the rest of the family with her. She does not have that right, and they may not even be aware of this “contract” she has made on their behalf. They may feel just as trapped by her need to “control” as you do. Love your family all out but never mention your mother, she doesn’t want to exist to you, so be it, that is her choice, but not your family. She is trying to hurt you with all the things she thinks she can control, don’t let her! Mothers should love above all but sometimes they don’t. We all want to know that there is at least one person out there who loves us regardless of ourselves, our mistakes, our sins. Sometimes that is no one, sometimes it’s a friend, rarely is the person we expect. Just so you know, I love you for the person you are, and I don’t expect you to be perfect. I will forgive you when or if you ever hurt me and I expect with any friendship I will hurt and be hurt, that’s life, not the end of it. You need to talk we will talk, anytime OK. Big ol Hug Maurie |
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last november i accidentally discovered (while helping a distant cousin do a geneology search on the internet) that my grandfather, my mother's father, died august 8, 2005. his obituary in the detroit free press turned up in a batch of google search results. since that one email above from my cousin, i have never heard from anyone else in my mother's family. it's been three years now. |
Shit. |
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sorry dear. not my intent. it probably makes you sad simply because you're a mother, right? but i'm not sad. it just is what it is. i admit about once a year it bothers me, but it's mostly a sadness that my mother is so... well, she's just not well and with time and distance i can see it was pretty much always that way. her parents weren't well either, and i blame my grandfather for most of it anyway. i'm just sorry she can't help it and can't forgive and can't find the love inside herself. aside from that, the rest of the time it's mostly a relief not to have to deal with her shit anymore. it's been a pretty peaceful three years, free of family drama. it's liberating in a way. if it's any consolation, it's all fun and laughs and love on my other side of the family. |
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the last communication between my mother and me was that letter she sent me in January of 2003. until today, that is. she sent me a message through fucking facebook. some shit about thinking about how i am doing every day. wtf CRAZY and no, i'm not going to reply. |
I'm not really sure what to do with it. It's currently smouldering in my inbox like a little time bomb. Do we, I mean, does one, I mean, I don't understand families. |
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From: Buxton, Nancy (N.J.) Sent: Thursday, July 15, 2010 11:46 AM To: 'syrup@syrup.org' Subject: Hello from Aunt Nancy Hi Sarah - I've thought and thought about sending you a note and guess it's time to stop thinking about it and just do it. I'd like to let you know that Gram has been very, very ill and has been permanently moved to an assisted living/nursing home in Rochester. On Mother's Day she had emergency surgery and the doctors took out 2 1/2 feet of her colon and she wasn't expected to live, but she's just finally had a major turn around and with medication and care she continue on the road to recovery. Gram has always wondered how you were and what you were doing but since her surgery she has inquired quite a bit about you and your life and she has always been sad about the situation between you and your Mom. All I said to Gram was that I'm sure you were happily married and probably did have children. If you would be interested in reconnecting with Gram I'm sending you her address. Irene Atkins The Sanctuary at Bxxxxxxxx street address city, state, zip (her mobile phone # is 313-xxx-xxxx) I'll close for now but I'd like to think we have all gotten a little older and a little wiser and I'd like it if we could heal wounds and move forward. I hope you're life is happy and that you're well. Love, Aunt Nancy |
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From: Marilyn Blough <xxxxxxx@hotmail.com> To: Sarah Cross <xxxxxxxx@yahoo.com> Sent: Wed, February 2, 2011 2:19:17 PM Subject: Family Photos Hi Sarah, I'm going through all of the my photo albums from ancient times and scanning everything of interest into my computer, backing them up, and putting some of them on disks. I have at least 10 albums full of photos beginning with the day you were born, along with certificates you received in grade school, your teen years with your friends, etc. I am going to scan some of those photos and other items into my computer and then I want to send the albums to you when I'm finished. You will enjoy them and in years to come your daughters will love to see picture of their mom when she was little. If you do not want me to send them to you let me know. Otherwise I hope to be done with this project by the end of the month and I'll package up everything and send them off. I do need your home address or what ever address you want these albums sent to. Love, Mom |
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From: Marilyn Blough <xxxxxxx@hotmail.com> To: Sarah Cross <xxxxxxx@yahoo.com> Sent: Thursday, February 2, 2012 8:40 AM Subject: HI You've just got to go to the website www.sarasota- ymca.org, click on "For Healthy Living," overview. There's a photo of 2 little girls at ballet class and when I saw the little blonde girl it just took my breath away .. looks exactly like you did at that age. I really miss that little girl. Love, Mom |
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i few years back i had to set up a yahoo email account to receive all manner of unwanted communications. |
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i just realized she has emailed me once a year, both times on february 2nd, two years in a row. |
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morality and perspective, i'm not sure about that. this is just a chronicle of the one situation in my life where i am the eye and the rest is the storm. i don't have this information stored in whole anywhere else. |
Dear Sarah, Happy Birthday. I just can't believe you are 42 years old. Where has the time gone? I know that since you've been an adult our relationship has never been easy. Many times I've tried to figure out why that existed, but I can only speculate. However, no matter what I've always loved you. I don't expect our interesting relationship to change but I do miss you and I'm sorry that I cannot be at least a tiny portion of your life. I am devastated that I never knew about your marriage and children until I found that information on the internet a little over a year ago. I'm hoping you and I can draw a line in the sand and cross over, leaving all of the yesterdays of the last 10 years behind us on the back side of the line and take our time getting to know each other again on the positive side. maybe just an email now and then to start. There's so much to talk about and tell each other. I always loved the way we could laugh together and talk for hours. (note: i don't know how she could have memories of enjoying events that never happened.) I would like to slowly get to know Charlotte and Natalie and I know that they are still too young to even realize that you have a mom, who they don't know but that time will come when they will ask and I don't want it to be a shock to them. <em><ul>I would like to start by knowing their birth dates so I can send cards and age- appropriate gifts.</ul></em> I would also like photos of the girls if you care to share that with me. I'd like to send photos of our family gatherings so Charlotte and Natalie can get to know the rest of their family. Maybe someday we can meet face-to-face when you feel the time is right. My address is 11111 Yada Street, Somewhere, Florida. No family is perfect and ours is truly not and we have all learned not to expect perfection from each other. We all have a loving and caring relationship, mind our own business, have left all past hurts behind and now when we're together those times are fun and happy. Wish you were a part of our family. Love, Mom |
By sarah on Friday, January 17, 2003 - 10:54 am: Sarah, You are never to contact me or anyone in my family, ever, for the rest of your life. As far as I am concerned, you have died. My family will not be contacting ou at any time, nor will they respond to any communications you may attempt to have with them. You will never know about the death of your grandfather or grandmother or anyone else in my family. Richard has been instructed never to contact you if I should die and you are never to be told where I'm buried. You have been totally disinherited. Also, you'll never be notified of any of the events in this family - you are no longer considered a part of this family. You are a liar and a very evil person, continually perpetrating evil actions. I consider you a piece of human trash. I'm enclosing an itemization of the expenses we paid for your move from Hawaii to Texas - which I understand you believe was "a little help with the move." Well, if minimally $12,309.66 (for which I have receipts) spent in 4 months is such a little bit of help... I expect full reimbursement. Your Dad never paid child support (even though he was making over $100,000 a year at that time) until I took him to court after we were divorced for 5 years, I paid for your college education and he contributed $2,500 to $3,000 a year - I paid $6,000 just for room, board, and tuition - not to mention clothes, car, gas credit card, clothes, rent and spending money. Hmmmmmmm. I'm a mom who "was never around." But, strange that I worked all day and after I picked you up at 5:30 p.m. every day, my entire life was devoted to making sure that you had dinner, clean clothes, went to events at school and church, worked so that you had a car, gas credit card, great clothes, had friends stay over, and a college education - hummmm. Always there for mother- daughter talks. I understand that you would prefer that I went on welfare, stayed home while you were in school, didn't have a decent place to live, --- but, hey, I'd have been "a mom who was around." You were loved boyond belief by me, your grandparents, Aunt Nancy & Uncle Patrick, but those are the people you accuse of abusing you. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I am having your personal web site monitored and if there is any reference to me or anyone in my family you will be sued for libel. You do not have permission to talk about any of us nor refer to any of us on your personal web site. I understand that you are seeing a counselor on a regular basis who it appears has not helped you one bit. I would highly recommend that you find a psychiatrist. You are a very mentally ill person, but a typical Bruner. Your Aunt Regina is "psycho" and your Dad is a "druggie, stealing, drop out," and that's the family you seem to be able to relate to - an do it so well. I have destroyed all of your childhood photographs. You are a mean, self-centered, selfish, and uncaring individual who seems to thrive in that negative life-style rather than grow up and be responsible for your own actions. Again _*do not ever contact me again - I have erased you from my life in every respect*_. Marilyn Blough |
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If I were you, I wouldn't respond, although I'd be tempted to mail back her 2003 letter and say nothing else. |
way, and if not to explain. It's been almost ten years. She could be a different person. Give her a chance to repent. |
We really need to margarita up sometime. |
person. she's probably like my father. when he found out my sister had a daughter, he wandered back into our lives and acted like the past 20 years never happened. he's still the self-centered man he always was. you're mother doesn't want to "repent." everything is water under the bridge, no reason to talk about it. send the letter back and buy margarita ingredients. |
but you. |
boundaries, but give her a chance to explain what has changed. |
Some things are best left in the past. |
grossed out by the attempt to insinuate herself into your life with this kind of demanding letter with no actual evidence of change. Some bridges aren't meant to be mended, and that doesn't mean you're holding on to bitterness. |
leaving all of the yesterdays of the last 10 years behind us on the back side of the line" You know who says things like this? People who don't understand, people who don't really care how you feel and want to get what they want, people who are not willing to take responsibility and do the work they need to do. It's a fucking bullshit line and makes me want to burn you (not you, you know) to the ground. |
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thanks guys. yeah, i could go on and on about the deep abscess of bullshit stated and implied in her latest letter. words like speculate, devastation, shock. the primary reason now that i will continue to ignore her, is because her intermittent, brief, and nonsensical communications with me began only after she learned i had kids. she never had interested in building bridges before then. the lack of apology, the lack of ownership, the blatant rage and hatred. that barely even matters anymore. trust me, there's a part of me who would relish seeing her face to face so i can rip her a new asshole. i do it about twice a year, when i dream at night. i always wake up feeling so satisfied. what i really really want is for her to stop contacting me. i thought ignoring her would eventually make it stop. most people, when ignored, will give up and go away. her delusional persistence is scary. so now i feel like i have no other choice but to respond. we're going to sit on it for a little while and let the newness of her latest letter wash away. if at a later date we're still inclined, senor and i decided to respond thusly: Marilyn, My husband and I decided it is in the best interest of our family that we do not have any contact with you. Please do not contact us again. In the future if our daughters decide they want to contact you, they will have our full blessing. I very sincerely wish you the best. Sarah |
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btw. i LOVE you guys. LOVE LOVE. i need you too. thanks. |
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i am triggered, but i can feel it already fade into nothing. WWBKD? |
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lol at moonit, but burger king will do nothing, but continue to do more output of burger out of grill. |
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@ByronKatie In this moment now, whose business are you in? Whose life are you trying to control from your mind? |
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a couple weeks ago i received a box that my mother sent to me. it contained a few items from when i was a baby - first pair of shoes, what i wore home from the hospital, a itty bitty sweater, a blanket, and -- randomly -- the paperwork from an old, expired life insurance policy from when i was a teenager. i showed it senor, my kids, and my dad and his wife when they were here visiting last week. my dad asked me if i thought it was time to contact her. i shrugged. senor said maybe. the turducken has asked two or three times about who is my mother. i reply the same each time - i tell her my mother's name, where she lives, and that she's never met her before. so far, that satisfies her curiosity. |