| THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016). |
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"I have never seen a tard lose a fight with an inanimate object quite as badly as this." |
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"Picture this scene: One screaming tard covered in glue, pasta, and cardboard convulsing on my classroom floor, while another tard beats him with a rolled up, half dry macaroni picture. As this happens, the rest of the tards, even the ones who were just staring at the macaroni bowl, are now screaming, crying, jumping up and down, or trying to hide under the table." my grandmother was a special ed teacher. this would make her laugh. |
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"12/6: The field trip On our field trip this morning, one of the reetees spotted a birds nest in a big bush. The whole gang tweeted. I cleared some branches out so the kids could take a closer look. There was one little egg in the nest. The kids were in awe. Especially when Jamel, my little Sudanese SBD child asks if he can touch the egg. I let him. He picks the egg up out of the basket and crushes it in his hand. At this, some kids are crying, others are wanting to see the inside. Jamel fucking licks the shit out of his fucking hand, then throws the shell on the ground, and smashes it profusely with his feet. This is only one of many things that has occurred today. I am in my room, waiting for my 11:00 group to show up for math. It is 11:09, I begin to wonder where they are. Then I remind myself that they are retarded, and stop wondering. 12/6: The post field-trip Today, after the field trip we sit in a circle and everyone tells what they liked most about the said field trip. Now, this is my barely functioning group, kids with IQ’s of 18 month old babies. Most of the kids only use one word for their answer (rocks, mud, stick, etc.) usually they will just say another students name and that’s it. Today’s answers were a bit different. Me: "Emmy, what was the part of the outing you liked the best?" Emmy: "Boots, mine" (She sticks her leg in the air to showcase her big ass yellow moon boots with fur on top). Me: "I need everyone’s eyes up here looking at me. Thank you. Now, Emmy really liked being able to wear her boots on our field trip. Jamel, what was the part of the outing that you liked best?" Jamel: "Eat birds." Only two of the other kids understand this. One starts to cry and the other gets up, runs to the sink, turns on the water, and sticks his head under the faucet. And it’s only 12:30 p.m." |
And because I interviewed with a manager and a vice president at the company I work for... Might be moving up. Thought I'd be well-behaved and cut my slack time down by half. Fucking halarious. |
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The Tyrell stories are the best. |
At this question, I can only wonder if the naked, screaming retard in the rice box is a figment of my imagination. Our principal puts on his principal voice, grabs Tom's arm, and pulls him out of the ricebox. He then asks Tom why he keeps yelling "syrup". " |
This doesn't surprise me, as it is more common than one might imagine in a tard class. I go to hike his pants back up and ask him what was wrong. It was then that I noticed he had wrapped a rubber band around his penis several times, and that it was starting to turn purple.- |
and http://fullduplex.org/tardblog/ |
guess which one i am. |
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Just kidding, I imagine you have a bad ass handlebar mo. |
v, years ago a buddy of mine suggested that we both hike our way into the yukon with a bottle of rye whiskey and a shotgun and die there. obviously, we didn't. he ended up as an agriculture teacher at some prep school called northfield mount hermon. bet he regrets chickening out. you and i need to get ourselves a couple of those urine contraptions, a gallon of polish vodka, and two lawn chairs, then trek out into the tundras or steppes (or whatever the hell they have) in lithuania in the dead of winter. we'll set up the chairs, open the vodka, and see what kills us first: the cold or the booze. and listen to vivaldi. |
http://badgas.co.uk/chairspotting/wc_18.jpg goddam, assuming you're any of them, i feel like a prick guessing either jokingly or seriously. those are all awful pics. not saying they're all awful people. 99% of pictures of me are awful. horrible. it's why i delete them. so they won't ever show up on some website like badgas or cliff yablonski. |
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http://www.ironcowprod.com/online_heroes.html beta- me laugh hard! |
beta understood my concept. incidentally, none of those pictures are actually me. just something i found on the web. |
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yeah, except maybe just a couple years older and with short dark hair. my friend mark got a couple deer last week. big ones. he and his brother hunt with bows. i'm getting some venison from him this friday. can't wait! |
