HOW TO AVOID JURY DUTY . . AGAIN!

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By TOWED A LA MODE on Saturday, December 4, 2004 - 10:22 pm:

    http://www.toadalamode.com/juryduty.html


    As a civic service, Toad a la Mode presents
    How to Get Out of Jury Duty


    * When the Bailiff calls out "All rise!" stand up, click your heels, and
    shout "Ja wohl!"

    * Laugh like a loon whenever someone says "jurisprudence."

    * Inform the judge that the $10 a day stipend is insufficient, and you will
    be billing the court at your usual consultation rate.

    * After the judge is introduced, kneel and kiss his hand.

    * Repeatedly request a sidebar. No, you don't need to know what one is.

    * When they question the juror next to you, shout "I object!"

    * Bring your teddy bear, Mr. Cuddles, to the courtroom with you. When other
    people speak, say "Mr. Cuddles can't hear you!"

    * Whenever an attorney pauses to refer to his or her notes, shout "Amen!"

    * When questioned, persistently blame everything on freemasonry.

    * Dress Mr. Cuddles in a tiny John Birch Society T-shirt.

    * Make sure the judge knows all about that incident with the mud shark.
    Offer to show photos.

    * Spill coffee on yourself, then ask "Hey, does anybody here want to help
    me sue McDonalds?" Then laugh and say "Just kidding."

    * Address any female attorneys as "Foxy Mama."

    * If asked about your willingness to apply the death penalty, declare "I'm
    agin' killin'!"


    Your honor, the defense requests that the court return to the Toad a la Mode
    menu.

    Menu
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    http://www.toadalamode.com/townhall.html

By RC on Saturday, December 4, 2004 - 11:55 pm:

    I go out of jury duty in Florida last winter. When I got the notice -- my 2nd in less than a year (the 1st time, I called in as instructed but didn't actually have to go because the case was dropped) -- I wrote the court a very tart letter asking them WHY they kept calling ME to serve when both my parents -- who are retired & therefore available -- hadn't been called to serve in nearly 4 years? I advised them that my only income from was a temp job I was currently working at, & not going to work because I had to serve on a jury meant not geting paid. I informed the court that if I heard from them again asking me to serve, I would send a letter to the Herald Tribune asking them to look into how the jury duty pool was being administered & why the same individuals were being called on repeatedly.

    I never heard a peep out of them after that. Then I moved out of state in Aug. I do have a Maryland driver's license now, but so far, Maryland hasn't pestered me about jury duty.

    - RC



By D on Sunday, December 5, 2004 - 01:41 pm:

    You know, I was called upon for jury duty, the problem was. I am deaf, and I agree to go there for jury duty. The big problem is, They have trouble finding me a Interpreter. So they decided dismiss me!
    Sound cool? ok, if you know anyone who is deaf, Simple ask your deaf friend to use their T.T.D ( phone device for deaf), Ask them how to use the T.T.D. Once you mastered on using the T.T.D. Wait until you have recieved the Jury Duty notice, Then call them to appoint you A Interpreter The tricky part is You have a schedule or appointment and cannot go there, then they will have problem scrambling for another interpreter. No , I didn't make this up, and there was shortage of interpreter, they dimiss me once.

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