Stephen Kings: Thinner.

I didn,t much care for that one,but then again I had started reading Geralds Room,at first I couldn,t get into it,when I had to go to jail,I took it with me and it was really good.

i always seem to end up buying stephen king books in airports before international flights. i think most of them are crap, but i liked "the stand". why'd they put you on lockdown?

this outta be interesting

Once for a D.U.I.,and once for kicking somebody in the ass.

you're gonna have to elaborate on the ass-kicking thing.

I promise I,ll post the whole sordid story soon,but it was two tweakers against,one foaming at the mouth mad me.I also made the horrible mistake of trying to defend myself,eveyone was laughing but me.i almost cried.I was only in jail for a couple of hours,only had to pay $35:00,and take an anger management class.The guy that taught the class said the person whose ass I kicked should have been there too.

I got held at the Bakersfield Ca jail once for 17 hours because of a prank. We went to Ralph's and I grabbed a bag of carmels, box of razor blades, sticks and apples. Went to the register, she rang them up, I sarcastically stated, "Nothing else for me today, thank you." We left and a few miles later were pulled over and checked for wants and warrants. I didn't have my ID so they took me in and held me to run a background check. I was informed that they can take anyone without probable cause for up to 72 hours in order to ID them. All in all I still think it's a hilarious prank during this time of the year.

You really didn't expect anything else to happen, did you? I don't know how funny a prank is that lands you in jail. oh, wait, tradegy is when it happens to me, comedy whenit happens to you... Whoohoohooohoohahahah! (Not meant in an unkind manner, obviously you took it very well)

You know some shit isn't funny at the time but is later worth it when you can tell your kids....grandkids......

i wonder what would happen if i bought a loaf of wonder bread and a box of alka seltzer. or a half-rack and a bottle of octane booster. or a bottle of sleeping pills and a jar of vaseline. or a truckload of fertilizer and . . .

A truckload of fertilizer and.....diesel fuel, sounds like a real gut buster. Why don't you rent a Ryder Truck (I'll reimburse you later) and try this prank out. Let us know what happens.

I like "Every tragedy is a comedy unless you are the victim...then you're just another monkey at the zoo" myself. Which is a reference to suicide, so it probably doesn't apply here. I always thought the best way to kill someone would be to get them drunk, have them scribble out a suicide note "as a joke," get them more drunk, and then stick them in the car in the garage and turn the key.

or make a "hangover tonic" give it to the queen bitch in the school and watch her pretty face kerplunk through her galss table (or a mirror would be better for poetic irony/justice)

Then you'd have witnesses, fingerprints on the tonic glass, traceable poison purchases....come on, Waffles, you have to plan these things out!

actually, the gut buster would be the alka seltzer and bread.

Quick thinking :o)

see the movie Heathers

my last international-flight airport-purchase book was stephen king's "bag of bones." yawn. before that, "george eliot: the last victorian"; before that, don delillo's "underworld"; before that, "bridget jones's diary." I spent too much money on books at powell's the other day. I had a hard time keeping away from the pretty books. the next day I had to stop myself from getting a bottle of olive oil that cost more than another bottle but had a nicer label. I loved the art deco virgin (?) on the catalonian oil, but I got the italian children at play instead. I told myself, "I am not going to be a person who spends more for the packaging." but I am anyway, I think. I mean, I don't know which oil I'd like better, so I couldn't judge that way. never tried either one. so this is what I dropped $32 on the other day - "the revolt of mamie stover." william bradford huie. $2.95. '50s pulp fiction. ok, I bought it for the cover. a bosomy young woman is undoing the back of her dress. the back says: "This is what happened to Mamie Stover, a six-foot tall girl from Mississippi... She won a beauty contest, got tossed out of Hollywood and landed in Honolulu, where with the assistance of a war and the U.S.Army she made her pile -- and an indelible impression on thousands of American fighting men. Here is a vivid, angry novel that exposes the corruption and decadence that produces girls like Mamie Stover." oh YEAH. "break of the day." colette. $2.50. a beautiful woman with a beautiful black bob is on the cover. I don't usually like to read in translation, but it was only $2.50. "the ghost writer." philip roth. $2.95. my rock star friend told me I should read some philip roth, but I couldn't remember that name, "philip roth." but I remembered having read that woody allen based the eponymous character in "deconstructing harry" on this guy. so when a powell's employee asked me if I needed help, I said yes. the cool thing about powell's bookstore is that its employees read books. I told her I didn't have an author's name or a title, but she figured out who I was looking for anyway. "babbitt." sinclair lewis. $2.00. what I really wanted to get was "main street," but since this was on sale I bought it too. "main street." sinclair lewis. $2.50. my ex-boyfriend got even more peevish than usual while reading this, so it must be good. "revenge of the lawn." $4.50. I judged a book by its cover. it shows a beautiful young woman with long dark hair. a friend collects old copies of brautigan; I can give it to him after I read it and decide that its facile, robert fulgham-like approach is completely irrelevant to the real world. but the girl is pretty, anyway. "possession." a.s. byatt. $8.95. I heard an interview with her on npr and liked what she said about, what, moths in the kitchen? I loved the movie "angels and insects," even though no one else seemed to. I'll give it a try. "stone junction." jim dodge. (gift.) even though I don't like the thomas pynchon I've read, I believe that if I were smarter I would appreciate his oeuvre, so I can believe his blurb on the back, that this novel is "a nonstop party in celebration of everything that matters." sounds good to me.

fetidbeaver - that prank was totally hilarious. thank you for doing it so I could read about it.

i ak glad to see you support powell's. Though i have never been there, i work with them to arrange author tours and make sure our shit is carried by them. Like i said, we see an indy bookstore close up shot almost monthly. Powell's, is probably one of the strongest indy stores in the country. That and Bailey Coy in Seattle. Ironic that the two largest online companies are in those cities, amazon and b&n.com

b&n.com is in seattle? didn't know that. I got to powell's because it's huge and they sell used books. the smart-employee thing and the republican-free coffee shop are just frosting.

correction, they are in fact in new york.

stone junction is an awesome book. i'm glad someone bought it for you.

i love richard brautigan. you will like it too, cyst, i promise.

Cyst, your welcome. Maybe my slogan should be "I go to jail so others can laugh" My parents are so proud.

lessee, i was thrown into juvenile hall when i was 15 for breaking and entering, and spent the night in jail at 18 for trashing someone's car. when i was in jail there was this one guy who was there on drug charges. he spent most of his time pacing up and down along the bars, talking to himself. when he'd pass by me, he'd say something like "whatcha here for?" etc. finally, he says "watch this, i'm gonna get out of here. i'm gonna tell them i've got aids." (this is in '86). so he starts screaming for the guard and one comes in after a while. he tells the guard he's got aids. guard says, "you looked fine when you came in." "I just got it." guard smiles and opens the bars and takes the guy someplace. about a half an hour later they bring him back. i asked him what happened. "i thought they were gonna take me to the hospital, but they just stuck me in a little cell with a guy with the shits, so i told 'em i got better." read 3 books this month: "omon ra" - victor pelevin. a dark satire on the soviet space program. nice mixture of spirituality and the eeriness of soviet doublethink. "spider boys" - ming cher. growing up in the slums of singapore where street kids use spiders in matches like cock fights. it's written in the english dialect of singapore, which makes it very evocative. "the giraffe" - marie nimier. young frenchman of half african ancestry falls in love with a giraffe. told in first person, it's like a beckett novel (like "molloy") in that you live inside the mind of the character. the problem is, it's told in an almost clinical way. i hated joseph by page 12. interesting look at lust, obsession, and male sexuality, though. there was a fourth, but it was the literary equivalent of a chevy chase movie.

"Betrayed by F. Scott Fitzgerald" - Ron Carlson That's the last book I read on an airplane. That and one of Isaac Asimov's collections. I forget what it was called, but he kept calling me his dear friend. I love that about him so much. Sometimes when I go out with a boy for the first time, I like to ask him over dinner how he would kill someone if he had to. They always give me a look, and then a plan. I'd tell them my favorite way would be ground up glass in a hamburger. They'd give me a better look, and then change their order. One time when I was in public school my class went to a local police station that had a little cell in the back. All the kids were told to file into the cell to "see how it feels" and I was terrifired that if I actually went in, they'd slam the door shut on us and we'd be trapped forever, so I didn't go in. Well I'm done.

The Bad Place...Dean Koontz

The Bad Place...Dean Koontz with Stephen kings "the stand" a close second

bite me clint bite me clint bite me clint bite me clint bite me clint bite me clint bite me clint bite me clint bite me clint bite me clint bite me clint bite me clint bite me clint bite me clint

Out of Control by Kevin Kelly Deals with the interlocking convergence of biology and machines, coevolution, social systems, and really fucking cool experiments.

my parents took me to alcatraz when I was four years old and my mother was pregnant with my little brother. she didn't get in the cell but my father did. they shut the door on him and some other tourists and I started crying, long and loud.

Powell's is one of two reasons I would move to Portland. When I was there for three days, I spent a good part of two at Powell's. Kind of like dying and going to heaven. I can't remember how much I droped, but I do know I picked up teh Schwa World Operators Manual there. I spent a lot of time reading magazines while waiting fo rmy best friend to get off work. Nothing beats Powells. I am currently reading through a bunch of Terry Pratchett i borrowed from my bro. Inturn, i gave him Lord of the barnyard by Tristan Egolf. I recommend toanyone, but I especially get the vibe that Cyst would really enjoy it.

Bite him, Clint. Go on. I'd love to see it. I started "The Epic of Gilgamesh" today. I read "Theogony" yesterday. Schooltime reading. mmmmm!

she lives vicariously clint, oh Gee you sweet girl, i udnerstnad....

Tell me how Gilgamesh goes, the name interests me.

I just finished "Pastwatch, the Redemption" by Orson Scott Card. It's not your typical world-changing deep-thought material, but it does offer a interesting glimpse into an alternate future. Just started "Chung Ko" - another alternate-reality type book. And I'm listening to Volume 2 by the Afro Celt Sound System there was an interesting-looking book at Barnes & Noble the other day, "An intimate history of killing" about our modern miliary industrial complex and how they trian people for warfare. I didn't buy it because it was hardcover-only for a mere $43.