Herman's Cows


sorabji.com: The Stalking Post: Herman's Cows
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By SimpleMan on Saturday, July 3, 1999 - 02:08 am:

    Gotta tell this story......
    I have been hitting McSorleys all evening but nevertheless laddies and lassies I am disturbed....
    You see, this self appointed teller of tales ran into a predicament not of the body, but of the SOUL.....
    Yes sweet Jesus, the soul......
    My wife and I just moved to a new community in northern NJ, name withheld in case I use guerilla tactics..
    But anyway, we have baby number 1 on the way and times are good so we bought us a colonial on 1.5 acres of land in a new subdivision....
    So we go to a town meeting to bitch about how much topsoil has eroded from LOT A, and how many Junipers die on LOT B.......
    And there's this farmer named Herman telling us how his creek dried up and he can't feed his cows.
    Herman's cows are dying...
    he can't call the gov't because the Army C of O designed drainage in the area
    He can't dredge the stream because the DOA and soil conservation district will come down on him hard.
    Our fuckin drainage ditches are dumping silt into his water....Family farm for 80 years going...going Gone
    Thought I could make a couple of phone calls...
    Herman already did....for his cows..
    You see.. COWS don't pay taxes. Subdivsions full of ex-placidyl or ciba and codein and meth fools do .....well I study and work hard to make money to live where I want.......MCSE for telcos nowadays...
    Grew up in the city and just look what that means....
    But I'm killing his cows....more than if went to BK for a whopper..

    It's funny..I don't know why I feel bad....
    On top of that.. I don't know why I apologized to Herman after the session....

    But for some crazy reason, I don't think I could look Herman's cows in the eye






By R.C. on Saturday, July 3, 1999 - 03:21 am:

    Tell Herman to sell the farm & buy another one. With a better water source.

    Or perhaps you & yr fellow subdivision dwellers cd chip in to build him a man-made watering hole for his bovines.

    But I totally understandyr guilt. I'd feel bad too if I were unintentionally destroying someone's livelihood...


By Sheila on Saturday, July 3, 1999 - 01:14 pm:

    don't get me started. that is why they call it PLANNING. you simple persons could start by simply not buying BK any more, although it's a fact that one of my best friends owns dozens of them and is so rich she buys millions of acres of rain forest with the money, so that instead of growing cows for her restaurants in argentina, farmer bob in nj tries to grow them on his poisoned property. aside from that, r.c., with all deference, when it comes to agriicultural matters, for your own self respect you really should refrain from proffering advice.

    i really wanted to stay out of this.

    i am a planner in a rural county, where people like to come and retire to their dream houses in the forest, near the golf course that used up ten jillion acres of habitat. we try to help the developers of these places, or rather we browbeat them, into doing the least damage possible. and at every public hearing we have to listen to farmer bob stand up and whine piteously about his cows. he will end up growing a subdivision instead and retire ultra rich, then he will be on the other side of the aisle at the meeting. i'm sick of crybaby farmers. grow up. get another job. learn how to do something. better yet, make the connection between having so many people to feed and so little land upon which to grow their food. think about it. real farmers don't grow cows, or cattle, and if there was no need to use up half the earth growing enough food to feed one cow to feed a couple of people, none of this would apply.

    jesus herbie christ, you got me started.


By R.C. on Sunday, July 4, 1999 - 02:03 am:

    Gee, Sheila -- last time I checked/this was an open forum & anyone cd offer advice. Wise or not.

    You weren't anywhere around. And the guy sounded very concerned. So I thought I'd try to come up w/a possible solution.

    I guess I'll be taken out back & shot now...


By Nate on Monday, July 5, 1999 - 05:24 am:

    all i mknow is that there are too many words for me to read.

    love,
    nate


By Gee on Monday, July 5, 1999 - 06:29 am:

    Man. You're making me sad.


By Markus on Tuesday, July 6, 1999 - 04:35 pm:

    I just wandered in looking for a restroom. Also, there's an monkey-shit brown Buick outside with its lights on.


By Kp on Tuesday, August 31, 2004 - 01:42 pm:

    gfjmvbmnbvm


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