Ok, I supoose I owe folks an explanation for my prolonged absence from these pages. so here goes: Things were never better. I had just gotten my copy of our band's CD, and I had just defended my master's thesis and gave a very good defense at that (according to those in attendence). My colleagues had just finished theirs, too. I just had a birthday and was soon to be off in Cheesland, at my first job. Plus, it was a friend's birthday and the last time I 'd probably ever see her again. So, of to the party I went, bearing my ill-fated graduation present: a bottle of 151 Cruzan Rum. I poured myself a decent drink, and proceeded to pass that bottle around my friends. "Help me finish this off," I said. I can't have something like this around, it's too strong and I don't want to waste it." So, I had the second drink, just as the effects of the first were slowly trickling in. Apparantly, I did not pay attention to how much rum I put in the second drink. I finishe dit off and went out side to the fire, wheere I played some guitar, but it was too cold so I went back in. I sat on the couch for a while listening to DK, and that's when the Autopilot kicked in. You see, whenever I get too inebriated, some type of hyper-survival instinct, so deep rooted it only knows I need to be home and nowhere else, no matter what, takes over. Usually This rarely happens and I am able to plan for it in advance. But tonight the drink was too strong and the auto pilot too insistent and i ended up behind the wheel of my car. Which ended me up in a small jail cell. Yep, BUSTED! That damn last drink must have been the Devil's piss, cause I blew a shocking .2 on the breathylizer. Anyway, there iam in the drunk tank. No old men sang "the Rare Old Mountain Dew". instead , i shared floor space with two lads in the same predicament. The next morning I learned that one of them (the bloody one) had led a cop on a high speed chase and put his car over on its side. He claimed his rights were never read to him, and was thoroughly unrepentent. the other lad (neither could have been much over 21, if even that) was caught speeding home after a wedding reception. He also was unrepentant. I think I felt guilty and stupid enough for all three of us. So there I was in jail, watching 'Superman 2' on the tv in the cell across from us, which had been turned into a break room of sorts for the cops. I was supposed to be on my way down to Tomah to find a place to live. that had to wait. I was finally bailed out by my mom. The next day I left for Tomah to find a place to live ( i did, which is where I am typing right now. I have ironically dubbed it the "Fortress of Solitude"). I went to the prelim that friday with my lawyer, who is currently trying to get them to not suspend my license for a month. The d.a. and teh judge are notoriously hard assed peckerheads, but we have to try. I go up next friday again for my pre-trial conference, where hopefully my attorney and I may be able to sway them to letting me just have the restriced licence for the probation period. We are not going to trial, but we are going to wait thenm out until the day before to plead guilty if we have to. So, this has turned my move down here into something quite more complicated than I thought. I picked this place whre i am at now because I thought to myself, "well, if I am going to end up spending a lot of time at home, you better like the placyou get a LOT" and i selected a pretty nice town house for $515/mth. It is conveniently located within walking distance of a Goodwill, Wal-mart (the only large everything under a roof store here), a grocery store, a mechanic, and most importantly, the movie rental place. I have used my reprieve of being allowed to drive as much as I want before I enter a plea to set my self up here as sweet as possible, so that I wil have as much entertainment and other necessities as i can. I have a new mini-home theatre (nice), computer from my dad, tv and vcr from my mom, my guitar, and a weight set. I went out and stocked up on books to read.The problem i have is that there is nothing to do in tomah, no movie theatre, no bookstores, nothing. There's a lot of bars, but since I don't drink anymore (you better believe i gave that shit up!) that does me no good. Al the good stuff is in La Crosse, which of course I won't be able to go to until after my probation. Hence, the Fortress of solitude. But I have my cat and my job to keep me busy, and a gola to bring myself into the best shape of my life (i'm gertting a bike tomorrow to complement the weights). And now i have my favorite site back in my life and interesting people to talk with. So, that's my predicament. The Conspiracy is trying to steal my slack, and they got some of it, but I'm fighting to get it back! I am stronger than this crap and it is only a small obstacle to my acheiving my goals. A very annoying obstacle that has effectively killed any hope for a social life for the next half-year or so. Fuck'em, i didn't have one before, don't need one now. More as it develops.

Welcome back, Semi! Tomah is THE most rockin' town in WS. *chuckle* Why Tomah? Or should I say, "what lead you to Tomah?" I hear ya on the DUI thing. I was nailed back in '87 when I was living in Iowa( God, what a grand state...3 of the worst years of my entire life ). Anyway, welcome back and to Wisconsin.

Been there too,when the cop asked me if I thought I could walk the line I said "I think so,if you help me".

A guy from WS is dissin' IA. Uh huh.

IA can't be all that bad. My friend Sarah likes it. And Madison is cool in Wisconsin and so is Ashland. Indiana, however, has no redeeming qualities.

Indiana is the strangest state in the Union. Freakin' Hoosiers; don't get me started. An interesting book mentioning Indiana throughout is Imperial Caddy, by Joe Queenan. It's a hilarious though thoughtful book on Quayle, not as maniacal as PJ O'Rourke, but you get more out of it. I was just rereading it the other day, and it being slightly dated doesn't detract from the humor or the analysis.

I declare IL the shittiest state I have lived in! And I do NOT include Chicago in the state boundries, it's a separate entity. I hated it when people said, "yeah, I've been to Illinois." I'd ask where. Response: Chicago. Then, my friend, you have not experience Illinois.

I,ve been to DeKalb,the corn capital of the world.

Nothing's worse than the pit of despair that is Delaware. A lot of people don't even know it's a state. (okay, they're stupid, but they have a point) The north part is all right (around Wilmington) but go a little south and...nothing. Farmland, little tiny towns, Dover airbase, and trailer parks as far as the eye can see. Last month a friend, her mother, and I drove down there, and it is no coincidence that we started to have a long conversation on the difference between white trash and rednecks. The same can be said about Pennsylvania. James Carville said Pennsylvania is Pittsburgh on one end and Philadelphia on the other, with Alabama in the middle. It's true!

ok, update: I must have hit a good wave surfing the luck plane, as the notably hard ass prosecuting attorney has agreed to a deal and the month w/o any licence will be declared retroactive. Hah! And my car radio started working again. i guess Fortuna's wheel is rotating upwards...

Mommy Fortuna?

Tee hee I got that.

<<The same can be said about Pennsylvania. James Carville said Pennsylvania is Pittsburgh on one end and Philadelphia on the other, with Alabama in the middle.>> that has gotta be the most accurate description of that hellish shithole i've ever read in my life. it still makes me shudder.

Damn talk about luck! so my attorney calls me up earlier this week and says the Judge wants to have me enter my plea by speakerphone. Werid, but it saves me the six hour drive. So I did that today, and I get to drive to where ever my work takes me in Wisconsin, and I only ahve to go to alcohol and highway safety classes down here, no counseling or AA. Man I dodged a bullet there. five months probation,which means that I ain't going nowhere until february 6. Since I will be saving money on fuel, and my car is falling to pieces slowly before my eyes, I have begun to think about getting another car. Something fuel efficient and made in the '90s. I have yet to own a car that new. Praise "Bob"! I knew he'd come through!