don't try this at home

sorabji.com: The Stalking Post: don't try this at home
By Sheila on Sunday, July 11, 1999 - 02:36 pm:

    if your cat shreds the wallpaper in the kitchen behind the toaster, and some paper falls into the toaster which then catches fire when you put in the item to be toasted, DO NOT use the vacuum to suck out the resulting cinders.

    if you are using a power trimmer, don't be wearing your Birkies.

    if you want to dig up and save your gladiolus bulbs, don't store them in old pantyhose.

    when pulling fence, start in the middle of the run, not at the gate.

By Lawanda on Sunday, July 11, 1999 - 02:40 pm:

    Sounds like the voice of experience.

By J on Wednesday, July 14, 1999 - 10:32 am:

    When backing out of the garage,make sure the garage door is open,look in the rear window.

By Popcorn salt on Thursday, July 15, 1999 - 10:17 am:

    I am dying to know, why start the fence in the middle of the run and not at the gate?

    Why not vacuum your toaster, whatdoyahave to lose?

By J on Thursday, July 15, 1999 - 10:38 am:

    Sheila,put those lazy ass zombies to work.

By Sheila on Thursday, July 15, 1999 - 09:39 pm:

    jeez, you people. jim morrison's grave; he's no longer there you know. i didn't get to cook for him, but i have seen him, alive.

    "why not" questions.

    will it never stop. the incessant mockery.

    if you have a long run of fence and you start at the gate, you have to pull it perfectly tightly and evenly the entire length. you get one chance, and as you move toward the other end, each incomplete tweak that is off just a bit is multiplied until the error at the end is x times the first little mistake, and you have to go all the way back.. if you start in the middle, you have two chances to get it right, and it's easier to correct because if you find a mistake it's closer to the source.

    if you use the shop vac, as i did, you will suck the little filament thingies right up out of the toast slot.

    back to back
    belly to belly
    zombies do the work
    while i watch the telly.

By J on Sunday, July 18, 1999 - 02:06 am:

    I like to think Jim,s still walking around,will you let me know when he,s in Arizona?Chandler 6969 S.Love St.

By RANDOMPERSON2 on Saturday, August 9, 2003 - 02:51 am:

    blah...?

By jack on Saturday, August 9, 2003 - 02:52 am:

    yes, of course.

By wisper on Saturday, August 9, 2003 - 06:59 pm:

    and now the search says that patrick and spunky posted here before 'randomperson', but i click on it and their posts don't exist.



    this thread is haunted too!!!

By Hal on Sunday, August 10, 2003 - 05:38 pm:

    Don't snort baking soda.

By moonit on Monday, August 11, 2003 - 12:29 am:

    Where's Nate's post about hiding shoes?

By V on Monday, October 16, 2006 - 12:32 pm:

    ...and when posting to jack,allways send him a VIRUS.,I think jacks firewalls are microscopic,like his genitals.

By Dougie on Monday, October 16, 2006 - 12:43 pm:

    V, why don't you just go the fuck away?

By V on Monday, October 16, 2006 - 01:18 pm:

    ...or why dont you? v entertains,you dont,at this moment in time you have nothing to offer of any interest,do you?...EVOLVE,ENTERTAIN,or fade away.just my opinion,mate....so your reason for posting is???...hold it,v just KNOWS what your answer is "cus ah been postin fur years",,,you back woods retard boys are all the same,BUT,v will give you credit for one thing,you play banjo real fine.

By Dougie on Monday, October 16, 2006 - 01:51 pm:

    "v entertains"

    Hah, that's rich.

By V on Monday, October 16, 2006 - 03:29 pm:

    ...yes v is rich..how did you guess? :o)....but,enough of v,back to basics,why do you post?,boredom? bad sex life? impotent?supppresssion of sexual feelings for jack? cross dresser? bankrupt, old, drunk, drugged, aids, cancer,just post,Jabba....the fact that you need a fork lift to get you to Walmart is not my concern.

By jack on Tuesday, October 17, 2006 - 12:47 am:

    "why do you post?,boredom? bad sex life? impotent?supppresssion of sexual feelings for jack? cross dresser? bankrupt, old, drunk, drugged, aids, cancer,just post,Jabba....the fact that you need a fork lift to get you to Walmart is not my concern."


    hmm. that all sounds familiar....like some supposed fat bored drunk drugged lithuanian witch dude who's obsessed with jack. who could that be?



By V on Wednesday, October 18, 2006 - 06:07 pm:

    jack,YO,MOTHERFUCKER,IS,V!!! TONIGHT,V RECOMENDS YOU DISEBOWEL YOUR SELF WITH A HUGE KNIFE TO THE GUTS ,DO IT,NOW.

By eri on Wednesday, October 18, 2006 - 08:36 pm:

    Now I'd hate to see that happen. Jack is entertaining. Besides, it's no fun when you disembowel yourself.......

By V on Thursday, October 19, 2006 - 05:54 pm:

    eri,as all ways you are right,as you know,v tends to go O.T.T.,(thats over the top in English,mostly, v over reacts,as you well know,and for a fact,jack is entertaining,fact is,you have a point that v HAS to to consider...thank you,eri.