Today across the street at Mann's Chinese theater, they are giving Richard Gere his hand and footprint ceremony. I want to vomit, I want to claw the eyes of every frekin tourist with a cam corder, and every mid-thirties housewife soaked in the crotch for his cheese puff films, he is a horrible actor and bascially has done the smae movie over and over ever since and Officer and Gentleman. I also want to seriously mutilate the fucker who launched tear gas the gay pride fest in San Diego this weekend. Nevermind their way protesting homosexuality to the adults in the crowd, there were so many kids there I understand (from a co-worker who was there), it's horrible to see a 1 year old clawing at his eyes because some FUCK thinks homosexuals are going to hell.....fucking sadistic BITCH, eat glass and go to hell!!! however, in a stand of solidarity, the parade resumed after 15 or so and the crowd remainded calm, a defiant stand against the moral fucking right....

Moral my ass... They should all be fed to the fucking lions (not the real Christians, just the "Christian" right) Those who preach hatred in the name of that gentle rabbi, philosopher, poet, Roman dissident, and Hebrew activist, should be reminded what it means to be persecuted. (Yes, I know, it wouldn't accomplish anything...but, damnit, it would make me feel better)

Right on, waffles! But, on the Gere thang, I think "Intersection" was pretty good...

I am ashamed to admit that I'd like to see Runaway Bride...

nothing to argue about here, m'dear. gere blows, not unlike almost all mainstream celebrities (watch for forthcoming rant on this topic later)...& the homophobic, tear-gas hurling freak was every bit as cowardly & culturally retarded as you'd expect the average so-called "christian fundamentalist" to be (there are, of course, exceptions within this group as w/ all others...but man, are they rare). what a pity that there's always some jackass who's got to attempt dictating to others how they should live. what a similar pity there's always a blithering herd of five-&-dime talentless celebrities clogging up the american media, pandering to a clueless public who'll worship whatever hollywood tells them to. good double rant, waffles. as for your words about tourists, they pump a lot of money into this area, too...but they're still a bit annoying. they just haven't figured out that there are ways to see other areas of the world w/o acting like a complete dipshit about it.

I was disapointed to see that the gerbil story was a sham,I had visions of that.

If it makes you feel any better, J, I once heard about a guy who had to have an entire tool box removed from his BE-hind.

That makes me feel better just knowing the toolbox wasn,t up my fanny. :)

It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. jk I don't mind the gay thing, but when they go out to do those things, they kiss and grope and go on in front of other people. They do sick things. If it wasn't sick, I would support it. I wouldn't do that if I was in a parade trying to get people to understand me. And you are right. Richard Gere is a pile of shit. They glorify him and dress him up nice in the movies, but he is just a piece of shit. A turd with a can is a homeless turd. A turd with a hollywood film career, is a crotch-wetting famous voted most sexy and appealing star of the year turd. And my panties get wet over Dean Cain. :)

hey fuckface, you happened to catch me in a bad mood, since when did YOUR morality about whats right and wrong, sick or not dictate how others behave?

i bet you like the lesbian scenes in any given porn right? THATS ok, but two guys kissing in public is not..??????

How would two people of the same sex kissing be "sick", yet two of the opposite be "OK"? It's the same thing. By the way, it has been officially declared that anyone who uses the phrase "It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve" is a complete dumb ass, and not worth spilling a drink on. "Adam and Eve, Adam and Steve, which is wrong, which is right? Look at the sperm on my lips! Look at the sperm on my hips! Look at the sperm! Look at the Sperm!" - The Frogs

The guy that turned me on to the Frogs,is the same guy that said he hpoed my dog died and went to hell.Nothing personal,he didn,t say he wanted me to die or go to hell,just poor old Lucky.He was drunk,so was I,but I still remember that.

hoped my dog died

sounds like a Frogs fan.

did your dog die?

Lucky is alive and well,that guy,s probably dead

I had such an awful backach last night. I think it's one of the worst ones I've ever had. It hurt even while standing in a really hard shower of pure hot water. I totally numbed my back to the point where I could jab my finger nails into my back and not feel a thing, and it still hurt on the Inside. That's just never happened before. I think I'm going to go back to the doctor and see if there's anything I can do about this. After nothing worked last night I just gave in and did the only thing left. I accepted that there was nothing I could do about it, put some really loud Headphones on and tried to go to sleep (the headphones were to distract me and let my mind wander away from the pain). But that wasn't working too well. I'd drift off, and then my back would wake me up. So I switched to some classical music, because I think music without words is more soothing, and it worked, mostly. I fell asleep and only woke up the normal amount of times during the night. I had so many weird crazy dreams. I had a dream where a good friend of mine got into a fight with his girlfriend and they broke up. So right away he asked me to marry him. I said yes because I'm kind of hung-up on him and I guess I was stupid. This happened around christmas. By new years I was realizing that it wasn't going to work out. The entire time we'd been married we hadn't slept together or even kissed. He seemed to resent me. On new years eve he was talking with some friends and one of them was complaining that he didn't have anywhere to go, so my friend/husband says "Who am I going to Kiss?" which I was really offended by. I got up and stomped out of the room. the rest of the dream was just me Thinking, and realizing that he had only married me as a way to get back at his girlfriend, and I would have to tell him we needed to split up. at the same time I didn't want to tell him that, though, because I really Wanted to be with him. But I knew he didn't love me. So there. I had a dream where I had to make a freaking difficult choice. If that doesn't qualify as a nightmare, I don't know what does. I also had dreams about my sixth-grade teacher...going to california....being stalked by Mr. Wicks from the drew carey show....getting drunk in some kind of 40's bar....all respectivly.

Gee, why do you get backaches in the first place? Did you injure yourself before, or are they randomly occuring and unexplainable? Where on your back do you hurt?

Do you spend all day in front of a computer? That's when I started getting backaches. They've mostly gone now.

I first started getting these backaches about two or three years ago, and I think the first or second time I got one it hurt so much and I was so confused that I went to the ER. the doctor there told me I got them because of stress. I think I'm going to finally go to My doctor and ask for a second opinion. she's really smart. I've noticed two things about my backaches: (1) when I used to have a period, I usually got a bachache around the same time I got my period. I don't know if that still applies, though, because I don't get my period anymore. (2) I get backaches no matter what I eat or how much I eat, but I have noticed that the More I've eaten during the day, the worse the backache is. I still get them even when I haven't eaten very much, though. it hurts around my shoulder blades. mostly in the middle. sometimes it goes all the way around my ribs to my stomach, too. it's just bad news all around and I don't deal well with pain.

Have you tried massage therapy for them? Or accupuncture? When I started having back trouble, my doc just gave me big fat motrin 800s, and said to exercise my stomach muscles. The massage therapist has given me lots of good exercises that I sometimes remember to do, and posture work that helps. The accupuncture's helped a lot too. Just a thought...

Where IS Waffles anyhow?

He,s on his way,he,s thinking about you Jina and tweaking his nipples.

I want to know how she got from acupuncture to Waffles.

hey gee, i just saw this- does it hurt a little while after eating and it's impossible to get away from the pain? have they checked your gall bladder? an attack feels like a back ache to some people- i used to have these unexplainable times of pain every once and a while- during the last one i ended up going to the emergency clinic and throwing up from the pain. i had my gall bladder out and not a single pain again- i had actually gotten used to feeling bad occasionally after eating i'm serious- check it out

i am on jury duty now. thanks for asking.....

oof. sorry about your luck, we thought you were out having a good time, and instead...Hope the case is somewhat interesting.

I've never noticed a time limit from eating to pain. Sometimes if I catch myself hurting in enough time, I can do things to get away from the pain (a muscle relaxent to put me to sleep, or a nice hot hot shower) but sometimes (like friday) there's nothing I can do to make it stop. I've never thrown up from it, but sometimes I really feel like I might. I feel so close to it I go and hang my head over the toilet and just wait for it to happen, but it never does. I'll suggest it to my doctor. I think I might wait to talk to her until I go for a physical. It will be my very first physical ever. The doctor I saw last time (not my regular one - the rgular doc was out on maternity leave) told me she wanted me to have a pap smear (sp) before my next depo shot. I've never had one before and it makes me really nervous. I'm not so much worried about what she might find, it's just being so Exposed that freaks me out.

papst :)

really? did I get the smear part right?

pap smear. it's short for something long and greek.

They're not bad as long as you relax. If you don't think you'll be able to relax, you can ask your doctor before-hand to give you a mild sedative before the procedure. I was supposed to have another one last month but I chickened out. And my doctor wouldn't refill my Pill prescription, so now my cycle is all screwy. But I'm not nearly as irritable as I usually am, which is a very good thing.

so far i am finding the judicial system interesting. Today I go in for selection by the lawyers. I figure if I include "jesus" in every answer i give, i might get off. It's a municiple court so it will be something prostitution or assault or something tame. But alas it's the Hollywood div, so maybe i can hope for some star fucker case.......it's gotta be interesting eitherway

I will never do jury duty again. Did it once about 7 years ago. Biggest frickin waste of time I've ever seen. No wonder the "justice" system is so fucked up in this country. The jury should be luck of the draw, 12 of your peers, not something where the defense attorney gets to pick and choose who he likes. They spend days on cultivating the jury they want. Talk about court backlog. I had had my apartment broken into about a 1/2 year before, and on the voir dires, all the defense attorneys would ask me if I had ever been the victim of a crime. Of course I told them that my apartment had been robbed. "Woops, sorry mate, can't sit on my jury, you might be prejudiced towards my client. Thank you for doing your civic duty and please, come again." No, you do your job Mr. Asshole Defense Counsel and convince me your client's innocent, and I'll vote to acquit, regardless of whether or not my apartment was robbed a half year earlier.

The only time I was ever on jury duty,a man was trying to sue an animal hospital,they picked me because I was kicked by a horse and stated I didn,t care for them.The man was sueing the animal hospital,but he should have sued the horse,s owner,so he lost the case.

They only have the right to a certain number of refusals, with and without cause, as do the prosecutors. I was on jury duty once in a civil suit awarding damages and though we all thought the suit was relatively frivolous we awarded some cash (a bit more than medical bills, just a very small bit) because we felt we couldn't second-guess the jury that decided in the plaintiff's favor. But we decided she didn't get very much. And as we left, she was really, really nice to us. Her lawyers, however, cornered us and tried to make us cry. Fuck them. What's contingency on jack-shit? Is it jack-shit? Then don't be such litigious schmucks!

Rhi & Gee: Why are you girls scared of getting a PAP smear? (And it's short for Papanicolao: a special stain performed on a smear taken from the cervix.) Ignoreance is NOT bliss -- if there's something wrong/the sooner you find out the better. A PAP smear is the only way to check for cervial cancer or other cellular irregularities. Frankly/the PAP smear is less uncomfortable than the manual pelvic exam/IMO. All that pushing & probing is what I hate.

I've actually only served on a jury once. Becuz when I told them my Dad is/was a cop/I always got booted off the selection panel. Which was fine w/me. But the one case I did sit for was intersting. A DWI case in Suffolk county. You cd tell the guy was guilty -- he was all shifty eyed & kept changing his story. He decided to cop a plea 5 min. before we were abt to go in & deliberate. Smart move/becuz later in the hallway/we all discissed it & everyone had intended to vote guilty. But it pissed me off that we'd spent 2 days in court for the guy to end up copping a plea. Seems to me/you shd have to cop yr plea up front. Once the triasl starts/you shd have to see it thru til a verdict is rendered. At the end/the judge stood said something abt barely making his tee time. Then he stood up & opened his robe & showed us he had on golf pants. Which I thought was pretty inappropriate.

I think the discomfort of pap smears are overrated. This may be because I have an awesome Nurse Practicioner. She is fast and though no one wants to be getting an exam she usually asks all kinds of questions 'what movies have you seen lately' blah blah that make it hard for you to focus on the discomfort of the exam. She is so cool I wish you could all go see her, maybe she would make you feel better about your pap smear. But really when you think about it it's only about 5 minutes tops of your year and it sure beats getting cancer. Just be sure to bring a panty liner in case you bleed a little bit after the smear. Like anything, no one wants to go through it but most docs know this and it will be over pretty quick.

I'm not afraid, I just don't like them and wasn't in the mood to get one. Lame excuse, but there it is. I agree with RC: it's not the pap smear, it's the pelvic exam that's annoying. Especially when your doctor has cold hands. I'll have it done when I go home in the spring.

bleeding? discomfort? I didn't know about that. I only disliked the first one. now that I know exactly what the deal is, the only part I hate is sitting there naked, waiting and waiting and waiting for the doctor to come in. last time I brought my cell phone and played snake. I hate the breast exam, though. it tickles.

BLEED? you're not supposed to bleed are you? i agree with cyst, the waiting is the bad part. my nurse practitioner (sp?) is really funny- the whole time she's telling me exactly what she's going to do and asking if it's ok to go ahead. she waited for me to say yes.. 'i'm going to touch you here now, will that be ok?'....

Breast exams feel very odd. I'm not into the whole probing me with aid of the speculum thing. I know it's a good thing to be tested for things like cancer, but...parts is parts...

oh god. You guys are scaring me even more. I'm not afraid of cancer (not activly), I'm afraid of all the probing and touching. I know it seems weird, but it takes me quite a while to get comfterble with someone enough that they can just touch me in places like that. I trust the woman as far as being a doctor, but she's never had to touch me anywhere so personal. I'm really uncomfterble with that.

I am too, truth be told. But I accept it as being something I should do occaisonally, because I'd rather not die an untimely and painful death merely because of my...unease with strangers sticking their hands where they don't belong. Bleh.

Right. And it only lasts a few minutes, and it's not that bad. Better than a colonoscopy, anyway.

I just had one a month or so ago that doesn,t bother me,but this time she stuck her finger up my ass and that kind of bothered me.And girls, just wait till you have to get a mammagram, thats just like having your tits in a vice.VERY UNCOMFORTABLE!!!

I've bled after pap smears, only a little bit though. Since I'll assume most of us are over menstruating age here I'll assume we shouldn't be too scared by the notion of a little blood in your underpants. They do remove cells from your innards in order to do the pap so it only figures some will bleed a little. But only a little! Sometimes I don't feel anything at all when they do it, other times a half-second pinch. It's not a big deal! It's over quickly. I think I have been living it up with my NP. There are no cold hands and really, any woman who does an exam knows what it's like, that it's uncomfortable, embarassing, etc., so they will usually do things to make you feel at ease. It just irritates me that men have no likewise thing to go do every year. Ah jealousy

cleared the fellas right outta here with this conversation, DAMN! jury duty, i have to go back shortly, but my service so far has restored alittle bit of faith in the system. The judge, the baliff, the lawyers, have all been extremely professional and pleasant. I agree it seems like along process, but i gurantee dougie, if you ass is in a sling, you would want to do jury selection, the prosecutor gets to do his weeding in and out as well so it's a fair process. You wouldn't want a bible thumping moralist on your jury should you be guilty of prostitution or soemthing like that.

men have that thing where the doctor holds their balls and makes them cough, that can't be too pleasant. i have to go get an exam, it will be my first one in probably two to three years. bad girl.

Patrick, I guess the trick then is not to get your ass in a sling. True I wouldn't want a bible thumper on my jury if I was guilty, but I thought the whole idea was to have a jury of your peers. That means people from all areas of society, not just crackwhores sitting on your jury rooting for you if you're accused of crackwhoring.

having your balls held is no biggie. it's when the doctor wants to stick his/her finger up your ass that most men have troubles.

Agatha, the turning your head and coughing deal is nothing compared to when they lube up that latexed index finger and tell you to lie in the fetal position. That truly sucks.

Jayyyyyy -- Don't Go Scarin' The Poor Girls Abt Their 1st Mammogram! IF you have a skilled tech/it doesn't hurt. Yes/it is uncomfortable becuz they are literally flattening out yr breast btwn 2 metal plates. But mostly all you feel is pressure -- Not Pain. And you don't have to get them annually at first. Yr baseline (1st) mammogram shd happen at 35. You don't have to get another til you turn 40/then the every other year after that/up until you reach 50. Then you shd get them annually. And rectal exams are uncomfortable -- but it's better to suffer thru a quick fingeruptheass during yr annual than a colonoscopy. (Which I just remembered my Dad has to go for on Fri.)

i had a lower GI once. that is the most fucked up procedure i've ever been a party to.

That's right, Nate -- what was the outcome of all that anyway? Weren't you going to UCLA to see a specialist or something? You're obviously not dead yet/but did you ever get a firm Dx?

RC, pity your dad. My mom had to have one of those in December....freaking disgusting!!

i'm too chicken to get a pap smear. i am a bad bad girl.

*makes a noise approximating that of the aforementioned barnyard fowl* Go. You will be the better for it.

wait, wait...are you all joking? You're just trying to scare ol' Gee, right? She's going to check out my Behind too?

not unless you have a prostate, girly. that's a guy thang. i could go back into my oppression of men schpiel, but i'll spare you. my lower GI came back without results. my upper GI came back without results. eventually i just gave up, and the pain went away. i tink it was doctors.

My Dr. stuck her finger up my ass,she said something about stools,but I was to put out to really pay attention,I was like how can this be?

did she have a hand on each of your shoulders?

MY GOD PEOPLE.... no butt exams for me, the ball and cough routine can be a little humbling, however, once i was having an allergic reaction, i mentioned my pee was kinda strong, she did a clamydia test, which involves a needle down your pee hole, holymaryofsonbitchjesus THAT will makje you think twice about not using condoms, plus it was a lady doc, and much like nate's piercing experience, little man was being rather shy if you know what i mean...(swimming, cold water???)..and i said just that too and she snickered, oi vey how humiliating is that????

turtle mode. oddly enough, i didn't enter turtle mode when i had the q-tip in the pee-hole test. that shit burns. yeeeesh.

Its not really a needle, just a swab, but still probably not a fun thing to do with your penis,although last year a guy came into my ER with a mascara brush stuck up there.Don't think that X-ray didn't make the hospital rounds!

it feels like a needle.

sometimes gynecologists stick their fingers up chicks' butts. it's happened to me about half the times I've gone in for pelvic exams. I think they have a finger in each hole or something so they can feel the wall between them. or something. I haven't had it done in a while. I don't miss it.

Czarina,it,s very important to save all the x-rays from any cases like that mascarra episode any thing found where it shouldn,t be is always interesting.

And of potential use.

Hey, remember (God, I know I can't forget) that website of the people who were into body modification? There's a picture of a guy with a finger in his penis there.

CAZRINA: You GOTTA post that xray! Ask Mark if he'll put it it! (Are you an MD/a nurse/or what?) Natums: SO glad you're all better. Have s shot/on me. That must've been very worrisome for all those months. Rhi: Give up the URl for that body-mod site, girl!

It's around here somewhere. Hold on. And steel yourself. http://bme.freeq.com/people/index1.html You can thank (or blame) J for this...she found it first. The picture I was referring to is on the second page, under "CM Hurt"

Things Found Where They Shouldn't Be

OH MY GOD! I'M BLIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That genital electroshock shit... Oh, the horror! But Fabiola was kinda hot.

Thanks for the photo Isolde/but that was a rectal insertion. How bad cd it have been? But a mascara brush in yr penis -- now that's entertainment!

Isoide,I see you found the butt page and that,s exactly what I meant when I saw Czarina,s post,it,s sites like those that make me feel almost normal.Rhi...at least I didn,t post the bikers hacking the husband up.

Sweet fucking Jesus. Now I'm impotent.

I hope I can uncurl myself from this little ball i am in right now.

oh my.

Oh, stop. It's nothing you haven't seen before.

Yeah. That stuff was, erm, anyway. Yeah. The btt page was--nothing.

Yes, but it stuff I never wanted to see again. So of course I looked at it. And of course I instinctively atttempted to protect my genitalia. I wonder if anyone's done a study on that? if there's only one thing men have empathy for, its penis trauma.

I think it's so cute when people say "genitalia". Ishmael accused me of thinking with my genitalia one time.

And were you, young lady?

probably. He tells me I have a dirty mind, which I do, but I wonder how he knows that. I look very innocent.

my nutz kinda itch..........any sugestions ?

dry ice.