That way, you won't have an excuse to just disappear after starting a huge cage fight or something. Capiche?

Jim, I will be leaving to go on vacation on the 4th of sept, and I will not be available for harassment (or to harass) until the 13th. Thank you for your consideration, nate

Jim: I am not going on vacation, but I AM moving and will probably be out of commission from roughly 9/10 through 9/14. Please let me know if this will cause any problems. Thanky!

Simon- Many thanks! Nate- Request approved... with ONE stipulation. Send me a postcard. (send an e-mail to me and I'll send you my address) Margret- I was going to disapprove your request considering BOTH you and Nate would be out at the same time, but I decided that since I'm new at this and don't want to alienate anyone so early. Cheers! Bon Voyage!

Jim, I just came back from a mini vacation. I will be taking another one in October to Big Sur......................... whether you like it or not.......... with all due respect......... waffles

jim - where is rc and when is she coming back?

that's the question - who said she could leave? i will be back home this friday through sunday, and harassing folks here on Monday.

r.c. and nate are the same person. she'll be back when the psychotropic residuals kick back in and he starts fragmenting again. give it a couple weeks. this stretch of semi-stability has lasted way too long for him to be able to hold out through september.

yeah, ah. heh. swine is just joking.

Is that Nate.exe talking?

nate@sorabji <52> /usr/local/bin/nate.exe /usr/local/bin/nate.exe: Command not found.

Jim, I won't be going on vacation, but I will be kicking Simon's ass from Sept 6th - 8th. Also I'll be taunting Nate with a crucifix and a dildo on the 23rd.

Dear Jim, Where has Gee gone? Love MoonUnit

Ummmm.... upon further consideration, I've decided I don't want this job. You all can go wherever the haides you want to. Oh, and re: RC, she can't access the Boards anymore because she's on AOL. AOLers are not permitted to visit the site. See the waaaaaay back archives for details. I'm on AOL too -- at home -- but can access from work. She's trying her damndest to get back though. And I dunno about Gee. No clue.

I'll be out getting my ass kicked Sept 6th-8th. Please direct all threats, innuendoes and propositions to my secretary until I return.

I'll be out enjoying the last of this great Canadian summer Sept 6th-12th. May be able to check for messages during the week.... no gurantees. Jim....don't quit now ...you were doing such a great job. Please reconsider.

Gee is in L.A.,eating at Denny,s and shopping at Target ,I miss her.I,m trying to talk my husband into going somewhere,he told me to set up the Costa Rica deal,but he doesn,t want go this time of year,maybe I can talk him into San Diego.Last time we went there we got rear ended by some aliens that pulled a gun on my husband,kind of took the fun out of that vacation,our first day too.They call Arizona tourist zonies,kind of like how people from AZ call all the people from back east snowbirds.How did Jimbo get this job?

But I have a cute picture of me,s/o,and the kids all wearing neck-braces.

I move to appoint Jim Minister of Attendance for life! Second, anyone?

YAY! and what happened to lovely Lucy...despite what she might think of me.....i miss her

I second that nomination. Carried ????????

LOL

Don,t laugh Jim,this is serious,I second that emotion!!

OK, Motion carries. Second item of business: Who's catering the coronation banquet?

What's Jim's title going to be? How about High King Jim, Mighty Lord of Sleepwear and Holy Emperor of Excused Absences?

How about.....JIM.............when people hear that name they will know he is in charge.

He's gonna need an anthem, too.

Well James is more formal,I think,I wouldn,t bet my life on it,that Lucy is in the process of moving.

King James?

Oh,I can,t help it,don,t get mad Jimbo,but it does beat Queen James.

Don't you people pay attention when I talk? (no? big shock!) I was in cali-frickin-fornia! I went to Disneyland. I went to Universal Studios. I went to Knotts Berry Farm. I went to the South Coast Plaza. I went to Target and Denny's. I went to Mile High Comics. I spent a (longlonglong) day with my relatives. I got sunburned on the last frickin' day!! (shakes fist) I met Tony and Johnny and (muh man!) Clint. I meant to leave Clint a note ("Dear Clint: You rock! XOXO, Me") but I forgot. I tried to get myself a bloody mary on my last day there but I forgot my frickin' ID in my room and no one would serve me cuz I look 15. The guy at the bell desk called me a goddess (teehee! still no tip, though, sucker!) and I've decided California people have different taste than Toronto people, cuz I haven't been honked at or whistled at or winked at nearly as many times in twenty-two years of Toronto life as I was in ten days of California life. I was shocked to see a K-Mart, an H & R Block and a Radio Shack in California, since I thought they were all Candian thingys. I dyed my hair red. Kind of an orangy red. I was blond, but every-frickin'-body in California is blond, and I dared to be different. Well...moderately different. It should last for 28 shampoos. I searched desperately for the little Alien Fashion Show CD they don't sell here in Canada, but the only place I saw it was at Universal when I didn't have enough money to buy it anymore (frickin' over-priced lemonade!!!). Someday I'll tell you all about Tony and Johnny and Clint. And Norm. Norm was the best. There will never be another Norm. I brought home a large version of the Chesire Cat which I've named "Little Swine". He's sitting on my lap right now, and tonight I'll hold him around his neck while I sleep. I've done that every night while in California, and every night I've had sweet dreams (literally). I miss being there.

I thought you were going to Target and Denneys.

if i didn't annoy you so much Gee, I would have invited you for a drink somewhere in hollywood to round out your vacation.................

public service announcement: southern california is not real california. thank you.

oh don't listen to him Gee...all the northern californians have such contempt for us down here....i have several friends that used to live here and moved to SF...they talk all kinds of shit about LA since they moved............gabba gabba gabba gabba.. Nate I asked before but I didn't hear back....ever hear of a band up that way called the torpedoes? It's my old guitarists new band, he plays bass now, they kinda rock......weird surf, instrumental, agent orange kinda stuff....pretty cool....

never heard of them. i don't get out much though. please contact the california automobile association for clarification on the difference between california and southern california.

Jim, I have won a contest to be flown to NYC to watch a day's worth of shooting of the WB TV show 'Felicity'. I will be staying at a posh hotel in NY 9/9-9/11. I have never seen the program Felicity but I hear there may be cute boys on it. I am sure there will be soulful stares. Please clear these dates for me to be in NY - Many thanks

Actually, there's THREE Californias: California is Limbo; Southern California is Purgatory; Bakersfield is HELL.

I'm no good with geography. I think I failed that class. Well, I would have if failing had been an option at my school (everybody passed). Southern California, Northern California, East West Whose got the best? I don't care. It's all California to me, and it's funfunfun! Nate's just jealous cuz he didn't get to meet Clint, too. nyah nyah, hoser!

take good care of little swine or i'll have him chew off your hair while you sleep.

i know you failed geography and all, but isn't a hoser a canadian? and i know clint. he was in my brother's dojo.

1. What's a dojo? geeze, I don't know Anything. 2. Technically a hoser is a Canadian, but that's just one of those words I've distorted to suit my own needs. 3. Little Swine had his front paws stiched to his chin when I first brought him home. I just noticed as I set him down on the desk next to little Bumm Bumm (cat) that one of his paws has come un-stiched. It gives him a slightly italian look, I think.

Bakersfield = hell, true LA = purgatory, false LA is GOD's place on earth. The only thing better would be a 100 year orgasm.

get an enema.

LA is owned by the devil

Yes

Jim? What have you been up to in my (admittedly) long absence?

Pete: Not a whole helluva lot. Up until today, I've only been able to access the boards from work. Seems these fine folks want me to take on some kind of leadership role. I'd rather be a corn muffin, though.

A love muffin Jimbo,love muffin,thats the ticket.

Jim aka Love Muffin? Naaaah. Not yet anyway.

Stud Muffin??

Not even! (atleast not until the current guy I'm pursuing calls me that!)

i went to LA recently. it was hot. and there were hookers. no, that was hollywood. near the guitar center.

i went to 42nd street recently. it was hot. and there were hookers. no, that was my apartment. near the washroom.

damn Nate, you were minutes away, I wish I would have known...a beer could have been shared..guitar center is run by a bunch dork head music buff fuck faces studio musicians aka assholes.......there is apretty rockin place right across the street from it called Guitars R Us...they have a shit load of vintage crap. Got my wife's Fender Music master bass there....they have this old double stack silverone I want.....i should say bass/guitar double stack...but the cocksucker wants to much for it....

Jim: I'm leaving tomorrow. I should be back online within the week. I will keep you abreast of the situation.

oh yeah me too Jim, I am going to San Diego for the weekend.......................

Dammit, Margret. I was just thinking how you haven't been posting as much as you have before and how much I missed reading things by you and now you're gonna leave? Jim, please. I beg you. Don't let her go!

Hey, I told you folks I was not in this business anymore. What gives? I'm going 19 miles to Bowie, MD tomorrow. Weeeeeeeeeeeee!

YOUR FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!! and don't try the "i quit first" bidness.....

He did quit first,have a good time you all,don,t do any I would,t do.

RIGHT!!!...packed & waiting now, waiting on the girl........ ALWAYS WAITING ON THE GIRL!!!!!!

I am rarely waiting for "the girl."

LOL!

Ok. What does it mean that I'm going out to a movie tonight with someone I was... er... well, you know... "friendly" with, and his boyfriend? Am I whacked out or what? Wait. Don't answer that.

you wanna bang em both

I hope it,s not the rude dudes that left him alone at the balloon party.

ROFL... one of them is one of the rude dudes. And, surprise!!! The movie has been postponed. LOL Oh, and Waffles.. I been there, done that, with one of the guys already. Haven't met the other one.

Hmm,the movie got called off,just like the shitty party?I think someone needs to be humbled,and it,s not Jimbo.

Heh.

I am in Albuquerque. It is ok, but I am hemhorraging money, and there are no transfusions within easy reach. Once againt I lament that I was not born a daddy's girl to a wealthy and powerful daddy. Ahh, shit. Today is my little brother's birthday. He wants $10 to get pot. "Pop?" I said, "I'll put some in the fridge for you..." "Pot," he said, "P-O-T..." "Ohhhh..." Yeah. Happy 30th birthday, little brother. I think I can shake the $10 loose, hell I'll go 25 and he can get a quarter of the ditchweed I'm sure they sell out here. Fucking dimebag for a birthday. Always dreaming small. I wanted to get him a stuffed velvet gecko, but restrained myself, reasoning that he would probably actually LIKE something and that I should find out what it is. Fock.

hi margret. just think to yourself, "rock and roll, man" in a fervent tone as you give your brother his money. Although I am curious that he can't spare $10 for weed. I figure he should have friends who will get him high for free.

I've never had anyone offer me weed, and I live in the ghetto. How did I get to be so deprived??

for my 12th birthday, my older brother and his croonie with a bitchin stereo took me to an office park parking lot at 10pm and proceeded to smoke me out something silly and made me chug a six pack of moosehead... in a strange, sick yet affectionate way, my brother was showing his love for me.....he is simple like that

I went to a two-year-old's birthday party yesterday and the grandmother kept asking me if I had any "connections" and I kept lying and saying no. I bought the kid a tape recorder and put a lot of adult conversation on tape. when mom figured out, she put a stop to that right quick.

Canada has no ghettos.

Simon is mistaken ....take a drive through Jane and Finch area of Toronto.

no No NO I REFUSE to believe it!!!

windsor.

andeee used to live in windsor.

'used to live'...obviously he/she got smart.....and left.

windsor, ca. he now lives in berkeley. i think.

opps!!!!...Sorry Nate....we were referring to the slum city of Windsor, Ontario...across the river from Detroit, Michigan. Berkeley is ..........Berkeley.

ya. i know what you all were talking about. the connection was coincidental.

I knew you knew what we were talking about. I had a shakespeare prof in college from Berkeley. He looked like a prof who was from Berkeley. He used to tell awesome stories about all the homeless lunatics wandering around in Berkeley. "In the interest of saving time and money, from henceforth Berkeley will be spelled Berkly. Thank you, The Mgt."

Umm. Why not Brkly. Thanks.