annoyed it: so where ya from? me: new zealand, you? it: PA. So wheres new zealand? me: uh its a couple of islands in the pacific...off the coast of Australia. it: where? me: so PA? what the hell is that? it: don't you know? me: well you don't know where new zealand is do ya? fuckit. dumbass. that annoys me. At the moment the US President is roaming our country for APEC. Secret Service men are everywhere, making sure its safe for him. In the Press (thats the Christchurch Press - our daily paper), theres a picture of one trying to stop the reporter from photographing him, and a blurb about how the reporter is asking the guy who he works for and the guy says 'the government'. So like which government? Oh yeah thats right, theres only one government. Sorry forgot. We're just a small pacific nation - obviously not important enough to have our own government.

Hey, man, I saw "heavenly creatures" and we did a bit in 6th grade social science about the Maoris. I know where NZ is. Heh.

I love you Margret. You've made my day so much better. I've been hangin out here so long dammit you all should know where nz is by now ; ) Its just those random ignorant chatting bastards that piss me off sometimes. Hmm or maybe its pmt?

I'd like to go to NZ someday. I can't imagian now knowing where it is, but then again, I don't know where Kansas is.

Kansas is under the rainbow.

Don,t they film Xeena in N.Z.?Isn,t that where O.M.C.,comes from?Looks all good to me!!

To my dismay I still reside in my seinor year of high school. Yet when I go out in to the "SCARY SCARY WORLD" ( Very Sarcasticly ) I have a full ride to NZU. New Zealand is a great place. People just are to stupid to realize it is not of the coast of Europe, near Iceland and Greenland... Maybe its the land part, people are easily confused.

Xena is from New Zealand, I do not know if they film it there...I should know...I read The Advocate interview back in the winter......(lesbians swoon)..........i do business with some chaps from Auckland....i find it intersting, their address has the words"private bag" in it......I wish my address had something like that in it......

Once I was in a bar and I met this sweet Kiwi couple and I took two ciggie boxes and placed them accordingly and said 'if these boxes were NZ, where do you live?' and the boy hugged me he was so excited that not only did I know what NZ was but that I also could make a decent map of it out of cigarette packs. I used to know a lesbian from NZ (before Xena was even on TV - imagine), she was such a really cool girl, I always wonder what happened to her. I wish I could go to that big millenium concert they'll be having there, it would be so neat.

I can play too. When I was at the airport waiting to come home I saw a hole slew of new zealanders hogging up the great big line with their great big bikes. Some kinda triathalon or something. MAN were they blond! I don't think there was a dark haired chappy amongst them! I never knew people from NZ were so fair haired. I would have been drolling if they weren't so blond...they were all very pretty. I'm just not wild about blonds. Oh, oh! I also saw two transvestites in the line. I suspected and was staring the whole time in line, and then when I got up to the counter the chick working there told me they Were guys. (said so in their passports) I think, if you have to dress like a chick in public, at least get a high quality wig.

oh you guys *hugs all round* Xena and Herc are filmed here. Up in the North Island. Gee, NZ is a mix of peoples - I dont like blonde guys either, there are some yum yum yummy dark skinned maori boys floating round I'm sure I could introduce you to if you ever decide to come to chch. Ya know I never even noticed the Private Bag thing was funny until you pointed it out Waffles.. damn it how the hell am I gonna give out my work addy without laughing...

And that gal that plays Xeena is really blond,she dyes her hair dark.I have had many lezzies point out that I look like her,she,s taller than me.It kind of flipped me out,so I dyed my hair red,the carpet don,t match the drapes.But I got wierd after all these lezzies started coming onto me.My husband thinks it,s funny,I don,t.

I'm from Old Zealand, myself.

Are you the guy on the office cam?

No, I'm the man behind the curtain. Pay no attention.

"carpet doesn't match the drapes" LOL I actually have a friend from New Zealand, I went to Grad school with him. He's on eof the most disorganized people I know, but fucking brilliant archaeologist. Good drinker, too.

Yeah I was wondering when we would become Old Zealand. *rolling eyes* Anyway I see your President made it through our country with no assasination attempts so theres a bonus (?)

Oh well, that kicks ass that you like video games though. What's your fave?

I like video games too. But I'm not very good at playing them. Mostly I like to watch. I like Zelda for N64 or Spyro for Playstation. Those are two that I can play.

Hockey 98 or 99 and there is a snowboard game for N64 called 720 or something like that, thats a kick ass game as well and of course Golden Eye 007 is kick ass

I'm playing final fantasy tactics right now and it's lots of fun cause you have these little people in cute costumes who do cool things, different from the other fantasy games cause it's all strategy. I tottally love Grand Theft Auto for the playstation though, hella cool. You can shoot people and blow up cars and drive on the wrong side of the street and blow up buildings with rocket launchers. And after you've pulled someone out of their car to take, you can run over them and if you do a wheelie just right, it'll smear their blood. And you're given gigs to do like deliver this money to this street, get rid of my wife, steal my kids for me. It's like that game you always wanted but could never have cause no one had developed it. Drool.

ooo yes, the plan is working. ZOMBIES YOU WILL BE! SLAVES TO THE WHIMS OF THE NATE YOU ARE!

And when Jina goes off the deep end and takes an AK to a daycare center, they'll blame it on guns. You go, girl!

she wouldn't be able to get an AK if she were in canada. or japan. or england. or pretty much anywhere else in the civilized world.

but in sweden everyone has an assault rifle in their home. and crime is low!

man, didn't i shoot you dead in that ice cream stand yesterday?

illusions! which reminds me, i have a 1/2 oz waiting for me when i get home. ah love

can we come over?

cruise up.

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just got a big bottle of mace the other day from this retired undercover cop. It's called Punch 4 something, and comes in a black bottle. I told him I didn't need it, wasn't asking for it, I just wanted to know his views on women carrying handguns, but he's heavily into being armed. He said this mace is what all the other cops use and it's got this ultra violet stuff so you can see it under a black light. I was just picturing myself running down the streets of Seattle and macing everyone, and trying to picture what anyone could actually do about it, if no cops were around of course. Moral of the story: It's not ME that needs protected, it's everyone else!

does the state of washington require you to have a teargas permit?

GOOD QUESTION.

It would interesting to go to a rave with black lights and spray some fuckers, then watch them and see if they dance any different. You would need to be enjoying some good PCP and have recently consumed half a fifth of Ten High to enhance the mood.

"You would need to be enjoying some good PCP and have recently consumed half a fifth of Ten High to " oh man... 2 more hours and i go home for the weekend.

I think the results would be kind of like poking at an ant nest. They all get really mad and squirm all over the place having fits.

I,d like to have a stun gun for crowded events,or at least for shopping at Costco and Walmart,just a gentle hint to get out of my fucking way.

rock and roooolll, man!

hehe I find that a stun gun would come in handy for those damn cheesy-skimpy clothing wearing bimbos who smack into you when you're trying to get to the damn dance floor and then glare at you cause its your fault... fuckheads... anyhoo I love GTA. Got in on the comp tho not the playstation.

how not ok is it to shop at walmart? I know it's evil and everything, but I go there anyway. I keep wanting the signature gatherers to talk to me the way they approach the other shoppers. so I can tell them, "NO! I LIKE PAYING TAXES!" I started a temp job the other day and I kept waiting for someone to say something to me that I could use as an excuse to walk out. I kept wanting the boss lady to tell me I was too slow. or I wanted the programmer guy to say something borderline offensive. I wanted out so bad. but no one ever did.

I know what you mean Moonie, I was shocked how US-centred the education seems to be over there. 10 years ago I travelled around the shouthern states and hardly anyone had even heard of NZ. The most clued up people knew it was somewhere near Aussie, but most of them theought we just another state (tho that could happen in our lifetime). Anyway, Pres Clinton seemed to like our golf courses. Someone I know went to the "Gala State Dinner" they threw in Chch or him. Her mother was shocked because she didn't buy a new dress, wore one that was two years old! The rumour is, she was asked to go along because she looks a bit like Monica (certainly in the chest dept). Sounds like they had a good feed - big write up and photos in the paper yesterday.

I don't think the problem is US centereed education, it's the lack of any education itself that could be the problem. Or maybe you're an idiot magnet. At aleast all my friends know where NZ is and that it's independent from australia. I even can tel the difference between NZ and Aussi accents, but of course that comes from having a buddy from NZ. One thing i find amusing is that both aussies and kiwis pronounce a's at the end of words "-er", like "Australy-er" and such. i find it even more amusing to contrast it with African-American urban speech patterns, where words ending in -er are pronounced "a", like "playa" or "betta". what I really want to hear is a Kiwi reading a transcription of phonetically spelled urban speech, to see if he/she says "player" when she/he reads "playa". This is what I think about when I drive to work at 6:30 in the morning.

All this walmart bashing...I just don't think I can take it. Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Target and Zellers. I love 'em all. Now...Bi-Way on the other hand, kinda sucks.

I like Wal-mart,it,s just too hard to get around there,just like Costco,they have people giving away samples at the end of the isles,all these people block the isles waiting for a crumb,they bring the whole tribe and they can,t even fucking walk,they uh shuffle.

isles sb aisles :) Agree on Bi-way

do they not make use of the word "was" in the UK? I always hear people on english television saying "he were so and so..." when they should be saying "he was so and so..." That ANNOYS me.

THE CRUEL THING ABOUT AN INSTITUTION LIKE WAL MART OR K-MART IS THEY PREY ON SMALL TOWNS WITH (oops) a capitalistic vengence. They come into town, and they evntually put the town pharmacy, sporting goods shop, clothing store and auto parts, service stations and whatever else you can think of outta of business. Now under a capitalistic society this is all good and well, but unfortuantely for the mom and pop business they don't have a chance....example. Wal Mart buys 700,000 pairs of Fruit of the Loom undies at $.30 a pop, quantity discount. Mom and Pop Underwear Shop buys 200 @ $1.50/pair....you see what will happen. So I undersrtand people's problems with Wal Marts and K-marts etc. It's part of the cruel nature of capitalism. In my business, publishing and bookselling, we hear it all the time in regard to the Borders, Barnes & Noble etc etc. Being a gay & lesbian publisher we hear it even more from indie g/l/bi/tg bookshops......the thing is.....alot of them bitch and moan bitch and moan about the greedy B&N stealing their customers, yet when you walk into alot of these indie shops, the service is horrible, the books are in disaray and the overall approach to selling books is nonchalent....no wonder they go out of business. Hell I remember walking into a feminist bookstore here in LA just to make sure our product was there and I got the worst treatment, and I have since learned that if anyone walked in with a penis, they were treated rudely....hell even a lesbian co-workers was dissed on one occasion....point being, if these cunts would have ran their business like a BUSINESS as opposed to a political cause, they probably would still be in business now........ playin hookey with the wifey today......playin with my 60's Polaroid CP5 Land camera........

Yeah, what Waffles said about Wal Mart. Listen to the man, Geez Waffles, you must have a terribly cool job. What are you kids publishing there?

gay and lesbian shit.....wait...sorry...let me try again to the company man that I am ......we are an exclusive gay and lesbian publishing house. Books & magazines as well as the distributor....ever heard of The Advocate magazine? And it's an alright job, they are good to me and it's relatively easy work. So did you sack Mr. Man?

Why want a stun gun when a tazer is WAY better?? It'd come in SO handy when you were on the highway, just roll that window down, shoot, and vamanos.

The Advocate rocks. I had a gay roomie who subscribed and there was lots of good stuff in it. That interview with the singer of Judas Priest a few years ago was really killer. Just wanted to weep!

He lives here in the Valley of the Sun,hangs out at the Mason Jar,and is famous for his Thanksgiving dinners.

it's alright, unfortuantely sales are down. Economic times are good and people want fluff....they go to Out, Genre for the fluff. Our demographics are richer though. And yeah the issue with rob Halford on the cover was rockin issue. I wante to send that to my "dirthead" brother but I decided it would just crush him... I mean geeeeeze in retrospect it was so obvious, you look at rob back in the day and all you saw was leather, chains and a hightened sense of masculinity......

You mean Rob Halford is famous for his Thanksgiving dinners? Wow, I would really like to go to that meal, how would I get invited? I am so sure it would be unbearably fabulous. I am sorry to hear of the Advocate's plight. Esp in these (disturbingly) prosperous times it's sad to hear people walking away from it. Am I the only one who is just waiting for the bottom to fall out of the economy? I'm looking to buy a condo and it makes me scared.

Come out here ,hang out at the Mason Jar,you,ll meet him,he loves to cook.Where do you live D.L.?I wouldn,t worry about the economy,buy that condo,for the tax deduction alone.

it seems people just don't care. As much good as the Advocate has done in thirty years, to me it's alittle assmilative. Jesus christ they had Al Gore on the cover recently. OI VEY!!!!! There should be a political party with a platform having everything to do with gay. They should have Bruce Vilanche as their canidate and he should be wearing a pink tutu proclaiming his homosexuality and basing all of his political decisions on the honroable judge judy's wisdom, make the national anthem somewhere over the rainbow (or any judy garland song will suffice), have ricky martin as his running mate and totally shove their homosexuality right down middle america's throat. at least thats what i would do if i were gay.

I'm in Boston, Ya, the tax break does seem to make some sense. Rents here have gone sky hi. It's insane. In my neighborhood they've gone from like $1000 for a 2 bed to $1400 in about 3 years. I could now own for less than I'd pay if I found a new place (but I'm hiding in my dumpy place till then) but Christ almighty WHEN WILL THE MADNESS END? I hear it from everyone all over though, Seattle, Washington DC, and of course NYC. Still Turkey + Rob = memorable event. As for your gay candidate I heartily support. I'd just like to see someone come out and publicly be super left. Just don't happen anymore. I hope you all know Al Lewis (Grandpa Munster) is running for Governor of NY State. Damn! I'd be a supporter!

if Jesse Ventura runs, he has my vote. Finally someone with some fucking common sense. Bush Jr.+ greed = S&L scandal Papa who is Prez + scumbag lawyers = a slap on the wrist why isn't anyone reporting this about that slimefuck?

Because we've been so far up to our eyebrows in slimefucks for so long now that one more or less doesn't seem to make any difference.

I don't think this time I'll have the luxury of voting for a third-party candidate. the thought of helping a republican freshen up the supreme court with young pro-life conservatives really helps me warm up to whatever zombie the democrats try to push through. my ex-roommate got his photo in the advocate once. in the first (and last?) "best and brightest under 30" issue. he wanted the advocate to organize a party for everyone in the issue so he could hit on some cute playwright or something.

I use to think my vote counted,now I don,t,I really don,t.

Your vote counts ONLY if you vote third party. Since it doesn't really matter if a democrat or Reblican gets the oval office, might as well lend a little more power to the other parties. Sure, they lose all the time, but the last time I was proud of how I voted was when I voted for Natural Law party candidates and Greens. I even voted for a Libertarian once, as a joke. BTW, have you seen the race forming up with the reform party? Trump vs. Buchanan? No better example of choosing the lesser of two evils.

yeah i voted for Parot last time simply because of what you explain. I stil think he's a fucker and I knew he wouldn't win. Natural Law party scares me. I voted mostly Green last time and i did vote demorcrate to keep a few asshole republicans out of office. Such as dan Lungren, who ran for CA gov. FUCK THAT guy, but Gray Davis is not brightest bulb in the batch either. save the Ballona Wetlands!

What's the Natural Law Party's platform?

Redwood

well they tend to see politics in a more metaphysical, spritual way...They advocate The Transcendental Meditiation program for education and. Although they have some good ideas, some of their paltfor is kinda kooky and not very realistic

"Although they have some good ideas, some of their paltfor is kinda kooky and not very realistic " so they're democrats?

you could argue that I suppose. from what i understand, they tend to believe meditation can solve many of society's ills

it can.

well that falls under religion and i'd prefer to keep it away from legislation

meditation hardly qualifies as religion - name any wars fought over it. Better than voting for people whose religion is capitalism. Fuvk'em all, vote for "BOB"

What does anyone think about John McCain?I can,t stand him,I use to date his wife,s cousin,Gene Hensley of the Hensley Brothers bottling company,they bottle Budwieser Beer out here.His dad was Cindy,s dads brother,he was in a federal prison serving time for something to do with booze that he was taking the rap for his brother.John didn,t mind taking money from Keating either,Cindy has a drug problem.The only personI felt good about voting for was Carter,but then he blew it.

My 12th grade history teacher always said that Carter was too nice to be president.

He is,he,s a real good man.

well sem, wars don't have to be fought to be called a religion. Namely it's religion simply because it falls into the realm of sprituality...spirituality can become one's religion. I also consider AA to be a religion...i would even go as far as to call it a cult simply because people are so brainwashed after coming out of that program. But meditation, the spiritual belief that your meditiation can improve your life in one way or another = religion.. eh...but what do i care..

so, is the belief that eating healthy and exercising regularly in order to have a better quality of life religion? it's a belief that you're improving your life. So is vegetarianism. I don't count meditation as religion because there is no Dogma or set code of conduct and rules associated with the concept. It can be seen as spiritual, yes, but it also can be seen as organizing your thoughts and bringing your emotions under control. Kind of like keeping your mind fit. The Church of the SubGenius, of course, is a legitimate set of beliefs and codes of conduct. It just seems like a bunch of freaks and motherfuckers that are as annoying as fuck,obsessing over some dumb-ass JOKE. vote for "Bob" - fraud of the century. (Geraldo is still ahead by a slim margin.)

science is a religion.

well the personal desire to be healthy could be considered a very "personal" religion, but regardless, vegetarinism, meditiation whathave you have no place in public policy and thats my point against the natural law party, While you, personally, may benefit from meditation and have the full freedom to enjoy it, it's should not be inserted in anyway shape or form into public policy. thats all i was saying

So/does the desire to curl up with Nate & finish his half-ounce/in order to facilitate mind expansion & fuck like jack rabbits/count as a 'religion'? Just wondering. ;) (Aahhh, Natorious... some joneses are just harder to kick than others.) Glad to see most of the usual suspects are all still at it! But I wonder how long I'll actually be able to access the boards this time... Hey, Swine -- how's the little swinelet doing? Was it a boy or a girl? Got pictures? Happy Fall, Y'all.

GOD DAMN! You're back! I was reeling for you for too long...and you're back!!!!!!! I didn't want to ask questions. I don't know why. BIG SMOOCHES to you,babe! Thank God for small favors.

Yes you thank God and I will too!!!Hows your God daughter R.C.,and how are you?We have all missed you,hope you are safe from the storm,still plotting our escape:)xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

hey RC!!!!!!! and yes in some cultures that might be considered a religious practice......and in others, downright illegal, punishable by beheading.............stick around, we miss you!!!!

R.C., well finally. Do we need to kick some web provider's ass for denying us the pleasure of your thoughts and witty reparte? Good to see you back.

hello, Madam Consequence. the baby boy was born on the first of september at 6:46AM in Rome, Italy. he weighed 7.9 lbs and was 20.4 inches long when he emerged from his mother's womb. he will be a dual citizen of the United States and the Republic of Italy. it's looking like he will be raised bi-lingual and in Rome. whether or not he will become a swinechild has yet to be determined. we can only hope that he won't. he was, however, born with long limbs and fingers. i plan on sending a small bass guitar and keyboard as soon as he takes control of his motor skills. mom and dad returned from europe on the 15th and are extremely excited to be grandparents. they immediately clicked with my brother's girlfriend's family, and are anxious to have them all (quite a number; her family has adopted many children from haiti) come to the U.S. to visit. big bro sent me a few small movies of my little nephew chillin' in his crib. i'll forward one on to you. take care, swine.

r.c. - stay, please. nate - your roommate is really nice. I think you get him back late tonight. he helped me get back into drinking and smoking and spending too much money at bars.

last night was fucking surreal. I got really stoned with your roommate and his friend from high school, then we went to a bar and were soon joined by about 20 clowns. hobo clown: how has your day been? me: well, actually, I'm feeling sort of sad and I think I need some cheering up. clown: all I have is this yo-yo. (does some lame tricks.) damn, I can't see anything with this nose. nate's roommate: I like your nose. clown: do you want to see my porno cards? me: no. what have you been doing tonight? clown: drinking heavily. what have you been doing? me: entertaining at children's parties. clown: I fucking hate kids. want to see my underwear? nate's roommate and his friend: yeah. (he pulled down his pants and kept them down for longer than was necessary for us to see the unremarkable mickey mouse print.)

a friend had a pair of his girlfriends bikini underwear with mick jagger on the crotch (in his good days of course)...i thought that was rather amusing

I have a pair of pink boxers,pesonally autographed and telling me to keep out of trouble signed by Sheriff Joe,my son got them for me a couple of x-mas,s ago,he thought that was funny,I,ve never worn them.

cyst- i told you he is a nice guy. nothing like myself. i haven't seen him yet.

damn. I paid extra to send the mayo jars EXPRESS. let me know if they haven't shown up by tomorrow.

WHOAAA! Hold up! Cyst is dating Nate's roommate??! Cyst is back in the states? (And Nate didn't grab her for hisself? Are ya blind, boy?) And Cali has clown bars? In NoCal, no less? Whatthehell's been happening around here? I woulda been back sooner/but I haven't been able to access the damn boards. No matter what browser I use/I keep getting this "The boards are down for repair" msg. when I try to read the posts. I was able to get on briefly on 9/24. But I was locked out again from then 'til now. And I'll prolly be locked out after this post. But my goddaughter went thru chemo again over the summer & so far/it seems to have worked. She's back in school/more tired than normal/but doing okay. Thanks for the pic, Swine. I renamed it .avi & I was able to view it w/RealPlayer. He's definitely another heartbreaker-to-be. Train him well/when you get a hold of him. :) Has anyone heard from Margret? I know she moved/ but is she settled in w/her computer hooked up yet? And Sem -- how's the fossil hunting in Wisconsin? (It is Wisconsin, yes?) And whazzup w/yr band -- don't you guys have an album available online? Anyway/anyone who wishes to can e-mail me if you have any news or gossip & I can't get back into the boards.

hey r.c. I'm not going to email you because I need you HERE. I am supposed to meet agatha tonight in portland if she's not too sick to make it to her friend's band's show down here. I've been here since early september. now I'm working four hours a day and seeing how long the savings from my turkish-carpet commissions and pornographic photo sessions will last me. not fucking long, I suspect. nate already has a girlfriend. I met his roommate last weekend and showed him around the city and nearby volcano. we hiked through the longest known lava tube in north america and extinguished the lantern halfway through and talked about how seldom we're ever in total darkness, without even any stars. we smoked and drank and went to bars. we smelled the flowers and bought used books. and I wore my new BITCH BOOTS and had fun.

i don't get it RC, your BROWSER won't allow you to come here? Is Stalin integrated into your CPU? If it's your online service, is it owned by the Mussolini estate? I don't get it....

When I was in LA this summer I went to a friends house and tried to sorabji on his computer. It kept telling me that access had been refused/denied/or something to that effect. When I asked my friend why? He just said, "Ah, that's just goddam AOL again." Then he did something and got me onto sorabji. I never did find out what he did or what it meant.

fuck AOL, i don't understand why anyone uses it

hey cyst, whatever became of your high school reunion? i must have missed the reports (i'm a message board slacker), or you're holding out.