read the labels, people.


sorabji.com: The Stalking Post: read the labels, people.
THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).

By Pink Eye on Tuesday, September 14, 1999 - 02:25 pm:

    Yes, I am a label reader when I shop for chow. Mainly for entertainment value. Shit like: chicken soup that only contains rendered chicken fat; hence, it is chicken soup( even though it's the next to the last ingredient ).

    I made a truly bizzare find the other day...

    What help's make the final product of Cheez-Whiz cheddar cheese sauce that comes jarred???

    ANCHOVIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I looked on the label of the next brand. Same fucking thing--anchovies.

    I don't get, but I don't have to get it. The anchovies were listed under the heading, my fav:

    "Contains less than 2% of the following:"

    The 'chovies were listed just before 'gravel' and after 'hog scrotum'...might as well have.

    So if you are duly scared of what crap is in your food or just curious, read the labels, people.


By AKA Rain on Tuesday, September 14, 1999 - 02:56 pm:

    When I was a little girl someone told me not to eat cereal with wheat in it b/c there were parts of bugs mixed in with the cereal. I didn't know which cereals had wheat and which didn't. So I was afraid of Lucky Charms and Fruit Loops, and actually, pretty much every cereal. To this day I have a hard time eating cereal.


By Rain on Tuesday, September 14, 1999 - 02:59 pm:

    Oh yeah, also when I was a little girl, I learned in shcool that kelp was used in foods to keep them together (or make them firmer or something like that). I know that one of it's aliases is carageenan (sp?) and that one of the other ones begins with an 'A'. I know that it's in ice cream and toothpaste, but I can't remember the others. I know it's in a lot of stuff.


By Nate on Tuesday, September 14, 1999 - 03:10 pm:

    food has two requirements:

    1. won't harm
    2. taste good

    other than that, i don't give a fuck.


By J on Tuesday, September 14, 1999 - 03:25 pm:

    I won,t eat hotdogs since I found out they were made up of lips,assholes,and eyelids,same for balonga.


By Jinafishes on Tuesday, September 14, 1999 - 04:17 pm:

    Hmm the flour used to make things, I -think- cereal, has rat shit in it and supposedly it's not harmful so it's okay with the FDA. Same thing with cheap meat sandwiches contain sodium earthobate, my 7th grade science teacher told me it was ground up worms, but I think he's full of shit. I still haven't been able to prove him wrong though.


By Waffles on Tuesday, September 14, 1999 - 04:19 pm:

    let's not forget the sugar conspiracy


By Nate on Tuesday, September 14, 1999 - 05:05 pm:

    i forgot.

    i love hotdogs.

    the FDA sets maximums for insects in foods. For example, to call it flour it can have a maximum of 0.14% spiders, or something.

    if you don't want to eat a bug, you're fucked. so you might as well enjoy your fig newton.


By Waffles on Tuesday, September 14, 1999 - 05:59 pm:

    i admit to the occasional weakness for a Dodger Dog, but that about it.....except....what ever happened to those hot dogs that had cheese and chili on the inside......that was brilliant!!!


By Nate on Tuesday, September 14, 1999 - 06:02 pm:

    Frankenstuffs. i think you can still get them.

    that cheese was strange.


By Semillama on Tuesday, September 14, 1999 - 06:59 pm:

    Recently on CNN, I saw a thing where the latest food delicacy in Mexico are dishes with bugs as the main protein source. The reporteer said that the bugs are boiled or fried, but then they showed footage of a fajita wrap with living segmented worms inside.


    Now Taco Bell can really save some money and just let the meat set out a bit.


    We eat an average of 8 spireds a year while sleeping. I wnat to know who measured this. What kind of dumbass spider just wanders into a sleeping being's mouth anyway?

    Sowbugs (roly-polys) are actually crustaceans, it would be like Red Lobster.


By Rhiannon on Tuesday, September 14, 1999 - 07:08 pm:

    What are you talking about?! We eat spiders????

    Really, don't joke about this. One of my greatest fears is of insects crawling into my ears while I'm sleeping. I don't want to be cursing you in the middle of the night for making me even more paranoid.


By Nate on Tuesday, September 14, 1999 - 07:43 pm:

    they have gills.


By Rain on Tuesday, September 14, 1999 - 08:04 pm:

    Well if they have gills, then who's the one with the webbed feet?


By Nate on Tuesday, September 14, 1999 - 08:13 pm:

    EXCUSE ME?


By Simon on Tuesday, September 14, 1999 - 08:15 pm:

    Ever see that old horror movie about earwigs?

    It crawls into your ear while you sleep and then eats your brain, making you die a prolonged, insane death.

    The protagonist in the movie was lying in a hospital bed near the end of the film, and the doctor gives him the old good-news/bad-news shpiel.

    The good news was that the bug passed completely thru and exited the other ear.

    The bad news was, it laid eggs inside his skull.

    Sleep tight, Rhiannon.


By Rhiannon on Tuesday, September 14, 1999 - 08:24 pm:

    OH, you wicked man.

    You evidently did not see that link I posted, the one about my namesake being the Queen of Hell and Oblivion.

    We'll see who sleeps tight tonight, won't we?


By Semillama on Tuesday, September 14, 1999 - 08:56 pm:

    You've got an earwhig
    It crawls toward your brain
    You've got an earwhig
    The fashionable pain!

    That's a Philly band, btw.


By Rhiannon on Tuesday, September 14, 1999 - 09:22 pm:

    Never heard them, but I've heard they're supposed to be good, compared to the ass-load of crap bands that infest the area.


By Crawford on Tuesday, September 14, 1999 - 09:46 pm:

    What's the main ingredient in Chee-tos?
    Why, its corn, of course!
    Cheese is listed fifth, after enriched corn meal, vegetable oil, whey and salt.

















    Dangerously cheesy my foot.


By Agatha on Wednesday, September 15, 1999 - 01:08 am:

    i would like to know what funyuns are made of, as well as non dairy creamer.

    the newest horrible food marketing idea has got to be goghurt, in my opinion. even the name makes me shudder.


By Swine on Wednesday, September 15, 1999 - 01:52 am:

    i know a place in brooklyn where you can buy high-dollar hot dogs that are guaranteed to be free of literal and figurative porcine sphincter products.
    not an asshole in the bunch.
    but i think that eating pig-butt is a crucial part of the whole hot-dog experience.

    real americans dig ass.


    strawberries and cool whip used to be a big favorite of my senior year girlfriend in college. i was really into it too until i got stoned one night and started reading the back of the bucket. i think i got to my third 10 syllable ingredient that was filled "x" "y" and "z"'s when i decided that the stuff was one of those by-products of some government experiment that somebody decided has consumer value. kind of like play-doh, only sweeter.

    "no sir, the cold fusion project failed-- but this shit sure does taste good on strawberries..."

    anyway.

    i'm going back to sleep.


By Gee on Wednesday, September 15, 1999 - 01:59 am:

    An earwig isn't gonna crawl through your head and come out the other side. I remember seeing that on "Night Gallery" and it scared the Crap out of me but it would never happen. It might crawl in and get stuck and die, but it's not gonna eat it's way through. Actually that happened to my brother once...he woke up to find a bug stuck in his ear and he had to dig it out with his fingernails. He said he could actually hear the little sucker's heart beating.

    As for the swallowing 8 spider's thing while we're sleeping, my friend Tommy says:

    "Because what they did, was roughly guesstimate the number of spiders in the world, divide that by the number of people, divide that by three, take that number, divide it by quadrants of the body, times 70. Or something like that..it gets mixed up later on in the calculation, but it's a mathmateical joke. Ha. Funny, ain't it?"

    me: "but how do you know it's not true? Couldn't a spider crawl into your mouth while you're sleeping and you swallow it?"

    Tommy: "Because, simply it assumes we sleep with our mouth open. All of us. Now I'm sure you do, which explains that huge snoring, but I don't. Unless I have a stuffed up nose."

    Tommy: "It's a mathmatical theorem. It's based on the number of spiders, estimated, the number of humans, the amount of time they spend asleep a day (the humans) and how much sleep time they get a year every year of their life. And the odds of a spider being on a certain part of their body."

    I think that means it's not true.


By Antigone on Wednesday, September 15, 1999 - 02:06 am:

    I'm gonna have to get some of that cheese stuff now. I looooooove anchovies. (Two cans in the cubbard right now! Yum!!) Long ago in a high school summer pizza hut job far away, I used to have to eat anchovies with my daily personal pan pizza I got just for being an employee. The catch was that I had to eat the whole can because no one ever ordered them, and they didn't want them to go bad. YUM!!!


By Pink Eye on Wednesday, September 15, 1999 - 02:37 am:

    you're twisted.


By Rhiannon on Wednesday, September 15, 1999 - 08:38 am:

    Have any of you ever read or seen the PBS specials on "The Secret House" -- where they look at all the microscopic things going on around you and in you?

    Well, if you heard what goes into concentrated orange juice, toothpaste, non-dairy creamer, margarine, etc. you'd never eat processed foods again. Vile stuff. VILE.


By Pink on Wednesday, September 15, 1999 - 09:35 am:

    Toothpaste? A processed food?


By Simon on Wednesday, September 15, 1999 - 09:47 am:

    If you drool profusely while you sleep, any spiders that attempt to enter your mouth will be swept away in the torrent of saliva. It's a natural defense mechanism of more highly evolved individuals.

    Earwigs are a different story, though. The defense against them is to sleep on your side with one pillow over your head and one under. If you toss a lot in your sleep, you need to secure them in place using a belt or a bungee cord.


By J on Wednesday, September 15, 1999 - 10:51 am:

    I heard cock roaches eat the eye buggers when your sleeping,bugs, one of the few things I,m not afraid of,but I don,t like them,except for lightning bugs,lady bugs,and butterflys.


By Rhiannon on Wednesday, September 15, 1999 - 10:56 am:

    Ah, lightning bugs. When I was little, my next-door neighbors had a girl from Northern Ireland stay with them in the summer, and apparently they don't have lightning bugs in Ireland, because at night when we would catch them and show them to her, she'd scream her head off.


By Rain on Wednesday, September 15, 1999 - 11:03 am:

    I live in California...
    I've never seen a lightning bug...


By Cyst on Wednesday, September 15, 1999 - 11:32 am:

    I've seen them in guatemala and washington d.c.

    I guess a ladybug is a type of beetle.


By Waffles on Wednesday, September 15, 1999 - 11:47 am:

    i have missed lightning bugs since i moved to cali...........I have cats.....they sleep on my head.......the ultimate guardians against "bed bugs".....


By Drip on Wednesday, September 15, 1999 - 12:31 pm:

    i never saw fireflies when i was a kid in new england, so i always thought they were so cool when i'd see them in texas during my summer trips. especially out in the country when that low mechanical and electrical thrum of the city is gone and you become more sensitive to the world around you. i would sit on the porch in front of the farm house and the fireflies would start appearing around this tall bush and at the same time some bird - quail, maybe - would make these long, low, ethereal cooing noises.

    majikal.


By Pink FIREFLeye on Wednesday, September 15, 1999 - 12:39 pm:

    Come to think of it, I haven't seen any fireflies since I moved to central WI. They exist in southern WI...quite odd.


By J on Wednesday, September 15, 1999 - 01:12 pm:

    There are no lighting bugs here,I love them I tought they were magic too,thought they had something to do with fairies.


By Nate on Wednesday, September 15, 1999 - 01:26 pm:

    "A 125g chocolate bar can legally have up to 59 insect bits, a 100g can of
    mushrooms can contain up to four maggots and up to 99 insect fragments are
    allowed in one 35g packet of curry powder.  There is no health harm though.

    Why are the allowed amounts so high? This really falls into the category of
    unexpected consequences.  Because people started to blame pesticides for
    every evil that befalls one's health, the FDA, responding to the pressure
    from these groups to do away with pesticide use, will not permit growers to
    use much pesticide to get rid of the insects.  Insects, spiders and maggots
    cannot be removed through any other known method.  So the unexpected result
    of stopping the use of pesticides, has been insects, maggots and spiders in
    the food supply.  Bon Appetite!"


By JusMiceElf on Wednesday, September 15, 1999 - 01:45 pm:

    Hey, non dairy creamer was developed by orthodox Jews, who wanted a bit of coffee after a meat meal. Same with Tofutti. No lie. The old annual reports from the company showed a bunch of Hasids in the boardroom.

    As for bugs, Leviticus 11:22 sets out that only insects that have "knees above their feet" or some such wording....that would be crickets, grasshoppers, katydids and locusts....are allowed by commandment of G-D to be eaten, under the kashrut, or kosher laws.


By Droop on Wednesday, September 15, 1999 - 02:54 pm:


By Fetidbeaver on Wednesday, September 15, 1999 - 05:01 pm:

    MAGGOTS, THE OTHER WHITE MEAT.......yum


By Fetidbeaver on Wednesday, September 15, 1999 - 07:35 pm:


By Holden on Wednesday, September 15, 1999 - 10:03 pm:

    Droop, did you go to the Insect Horror Film Festival a couple of Friday nights ago at Iowa State?


By Droopy on Wednesday, September 15, 1999 - 10:35 pm:

    no. i live in fort worth, texas where i am currently dodging bullets. i had found that site off of another one called ediblia.


By Bj on Thursday, May 20, 2004 - 12:08 am:

    i ate maggots once...in cereal.....a whole bowl full..didnt know it till i was finished and my sister found them in her bowl.....but it didnt taste any different......yummmmmmmmm.......didnt eat that cereal for 8 years......


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