Think of it, who would it be, how would it be and most of all why? A teacher was recently repremanded for giving this assignment to her high school kids....

I,d kill Hitler with a gun,to stop him before he did what he did.

no no , he is dead, you have to pick someone living

SHIT, I just blew my integration into my new handle.......ok, fuck it, ther it is, waffles is no more,,, I am me, I am out and I am proud.... best regards patrick

It happens to the best of us ;)

so can we kill waffles, or is he dead now?

uh, he is *dead*....but his spririt floats in purgatory for the time being.......so he may try and come back, but his attempts will be shortlived and met with vigor

by the way, try not to stray from the topic, i know i haven't put my two cents in as of yet, but I am thinking of it......

I think if someone had killed Hitler before his rise to power, someone else would have come along to do his job. The man was not alone in his beliefs.

Did yo know Hitler never had a job?

after some thought with little conclusions, I think I would have to knock off Jesse Helms, simply because he has contributed to the inefficiency of our congress for too god damn long, he has wasted valuable time, with filabustering and silly add on statues that have prevented many a righteous bill from passing....he is no longer of use, he is a big ugly terd that is a complete waste of a a seat........I acknowledge that North Carolina is not that progressive to begin with but even the majority of Republicans think this guy is a loon and i fear the Strom Thurman syndrome wth Helms, I think I would hire the meanest, pinkest queer gun for hire, instruct him to use the assault weapons Jesse has fought for the right to have, sit him down in front of a television, hold his eyelids open in a clockwork orange kinda way, and simultaneous show him images of very ill AIDS patients and some of the gayest porn to ever come out of North Hollywood, then with a flick of the wrist have him wasted with the assault rifle, starting with his appendages and then working our way to the vital areas

Good one, Patrick. I agree with you. However, here's my answer: Bill Gates. By defenestration.

love that word defenestration

Keri Russell. Several times, if possible.

crap. I take it back. I wish death on no one. I would like to see her get a big bucket of water dumped on her head, though. That would be kinda neat.

deplane Jesse Helms mid-flight?

that story today was fascinating, not for the stupid golfer i have never heard of, but rather the unique crash....i have always been interested in aviation........a unique aviation accident could be arranged

The 1st Student member of the Montgomery County, Maryland Board of Education. For "mooooing" at me in high school. PajamaBoy did it in the History Class room with the rusted axis of a world globe.

Jerry Falwell, gang raped by big bull queers, then left in a bleeding heep in the desert for vultures.

"That stupid golfer" you never heard of was Payne Stewart. A former arrogant jerk and choker, he blossomed into a gracious gentleman and a great champion, in victory and defeat. This was his finest year. His nobility in words and acts were magnificent. He will be sorely missed by those who he inspired. He deserves better than such a remark.

I think Jerry Fallwell should be thrown to the lions.

i suppose if i gave a rats ass about professional golf, but i don't so to me he is a nobody.....

I think Jerry Falwell and Janet Reno should be forced to have sex with each other,then with every chapter of the Hells Angels televised on pay for veiw.

i find this thread disturbing.

Disturbing ideas are good for you. Put some hair on your chest.

Marlboro Reds will do that as well

Yep... I used to smoke Marlboro Reds... till I switched over to Camels... I've got so much hair on my chest that I've often been accused of being a werewolf... I can braid my chest hair... it's longer than the hair on my head.

i am currently looking for female models with hair on their chest you would be perfect

Get one of your ordinary models a chest wig. Couldn't find one online, but you can probably find one in your friendly neighborhood novelty shop.

I,m going to get a bottle of Rogain and rub it all over my chest,just for a sitting with Waffles.

yaaaaayyyyyyyy!!! can i get in on your old porno of the month club...i need new footage

You had to ask. Just when I was getting over you. ok. Does it have to be only one person? Because the sorting through the lists will take weeks.

I find the problem with murderers today is not how they kill people, but how they get rid of the evidence. (other than, uhm, that they kill people, o'course) And they ALWAYS find them because of the murder weapon + how they find the body. Goddamnit people, if you're going to kill someone, at least have the decency to plan out what you're doing AFTER they're dead. Don't just shoot them and run, you dumbass. Take the weapon, no, don't just toss it on the ground a few feet away, like so many have before you! wrap it in a towel or two and stuff that in a plastic bag. Get in your car. Drive for about an hour, or however far your tank of gas will take you. toss it in the dumpster behind a fast food resturant or grocery store or something. Anywhere. Put it in a package and send it to an adress that doesn't exist. Send it to Paraguay. Find a construction site and bury it miles from where you live. Wrap it in X-mas paper and and give it to a children's charity. (ouch)ANYTHING! Just don't leave it on you or in the damn house/forest/bar/street where you killed them! The body is what gets you. thery find the body, they find you. Remember, until they find the body, the person is just "missing". This is where you really have to have patience. Killers are too sloppy with this. I'll say it again: if you're going to go to the trouble of killing someone, you might as well have a damn good idea of how to cover your ass. I think the key here might be disspersion. It's easy to identify a whole body or head, but just a finger? harder. So invest in a chainsaw (messy=good) and start cuttin. Dump the parts all together, you say? NO NO NO. Road trip time. Buy a large cooler and fill it with the unfortunate individual. Put Pepsi cans on top. Go for a drive. A long one. We're talking cross country here. Too much time? Well, you could spend a year hiding the body, or life in jail, you choose. You could have fun with this part, throwing it in playgrounds, ect... Heck, get a good freezer at home and take some on your summer vacation every year! how the hell would they trace that? Toss some in every forest you pass. Bring the kids and the wife along, and make a day of it. Or of course you could just buy a meat grinder, and have a sympathy BBQ for the victims family. That's my favorite idea. Yes, I have spent too much time thinking of this, I am aware. Who would I kill? no idea. Sandra Bernheard (bearnheart?from Rosanne?) annoys the fuck outta me.

getting over me ? Really? Why? No kill em all for all I care......

Yes! XXX, *that's* what I wanted to hear when I asked how we would kill someone! Thought! Planning! Foresight! Good work, my man/woman!

i am kinda disturbed by the amount of thought put into. You seem to speak from experience or at least some serious contemplation. Have you killed? Do you want to kill? Also the topic was directed more towards assasinations which implys that you have no intentions other than to kill and RUN.......disposal of the body seems irrelavent in that type of killing

Chemical disposal. Dump 'em in a sewage treatment plant... the bones'll be stripped clean in (I'm not sure). Or just fill a bathtub with Drano or some other powerful caustic. Don't use acids, (except for conc. H(2)SO(4), which acts as a desiccant, rather than an acid, pretty much strips the water from the cells, leaving carbon)., as they will eat through your bathtub... acids are better at destroying metals than at destroying flesh. If you're really worried, come back for the skeleton... soak it in vinegar... the vinegar will leach out all the calcium, creating a severe case of posthumous osteoporosis... the bones become rubbery, and probably unidentifiable, esp. if you crush them first. Better dying through chemistry.

A little over a year ago 2 kids in Tempe got away with killing their mom Cookie,they threw her in the garbage can,and Cookie was (is) down at the dump.The police crews spent weeks digging in garbage looking for Cookie,but she was never found.The kids still live with Dad.A few years before that,a teenage boy killed another boy at his house and threw him in the garbage,he went to the dump too.The police crews never found him either,but the killer was convicted cause there was an witness.

i use lye. i mean, i would use lye.

That's what Drano is. Good ol' NaOH.

oh we always have big containers of Red Devil Lye left over from the meth op. i mean, i would suppose there would be some kicking around if there was a meth op.

Screw it and go for hydroflouric acid. Care enough to use the very best!

I bet that's what the package says too ;)

The problem with acids is that they will destroy your bathtub... bathtubs are metal... acids are way better at corroding metal than organic material. So that's the problem with H(2)F Aim high (high PH that is)

I think the one to assissinate should be the exec. working for the Coca-Cola Co. who just came up with the new plan to install heat sensors in the Coke vending machines,so they can raise the price automatically, when it gets hotter outside.Haven't had time to formulate my plan yet,cause I'm still to pissed,cause I hate being manipulated by corporate America.Will work on my plan and get back to you.

I was thinking about putting him in a cage in the middle of a desert with a coke machine that upped the price to ten cents higher than the amount of money you put in the machine. That'll learn 'em.

they are the evil red empire, you can't touch them.......

i didn't mean you. and xxx person, who you calling dumbass?

Christ! The last thing I'd want when It's hot anyway is syrupy cola. I can see people applying ice packs to Coke machines to lower the prices.

it would be governed by a central thermometer and broadcast to the individual dispensers via mystical radio waves. i'm all for it. when demand goes up for a fixed supply, prices should go up. you don't like it, buy pepsi,who said they would never do a thing like this. but i think coke has the leverage. and good for them. why does everyone always get pissed off by american success stories? you goddamn socialist pussies.

You better believe it. And that Coco-Cola exec will be one of the first up against the wall... (Hey, forget real corporate crime... let's go after the irritating plutocrats)

capitalist, fuck sucker........sucking blood from the turnip of the working class.......we socialists shit people like you and you want to go turn our toilets into a market place.....making profit from a flush and paper..............

turnip? is that some kind of mis-quote?

ever heard the phrase, "you can't squeeze blood from a turnip"? meaning you can't get something from me that I don't have.

you don't have to buy coke. i don't recall the right to coke in the consitution. you can drink water. that's free.

our freshwater water is tainted from your child enslaved dirty factories, "efficient" nuclear power waste (i'm seeing montgomery burns here) and general cost-cutting chemical dumping and the only good water DOES cost money....... for those who are thinking of seriously replying, this post and the previous one were meant as agitational banter.....please do not respond with any serious questions for i have none regarding this subject. thank you

(nuclear power does not contaminate the water. and btw: i'm for nuclear power, also)

the waste from it can and does...depending on how it is handled..If it is buried it can leak into the water table........

nuclear waste is solid, and when buried it is buried in containment units. it is the ecologically safest form of power known to humankind. bar none.

let's hear it for Methane

I thought the price-changing coke machine was a really clever idea. don't like it, don't buy it. and I think pay toilets are a great idea, too. in europe, they're cheap, clean and everywhere. here in america you have to find a department store or buy something in a restaurant in order to use a bathroom downtown. it's a drag.

we were in Mexico once, fooling around and doing some shopping. It was a border town and after a few cervasas I needed the bathroom,it took us awhile,but we finally found a public restroom,there was a Mexican lady at the door who charged me a quarter,[american currency], which I thought was pretty funny,cause it wasn't the cleanest RR I'd ever seen. But I stopped laughing when she made me give her another quarter for some toilet paper!

Hey.that,s better than when I went to Matzalan,and there was a urinal right in the middle of a chinese resturant,right where you could see them pee.

Why,praytell, were you eating at a chinese resturant in Mexico?

I didn,t eat there s/o did,I went in, took one look and went outside,so I could dry heeve at the smell of chicken sitting out in the market.He ate soup,he lost the soup.He ended up getting sick,and I hung out with some old couple named Larry and Ruby,big fun.

When I went to Mexico in High School, everybody else in the group got sick, but I didn't. Maybe it's because I was a vegetarian and it probably also had to do with my eating authentic Mexican cuisine. You see, Mexican cuisine is evolved for the level of refrigeration available. The girl that got really sick got sick because she had chicken at this ritzy American place in the Zona Rosa. The American recipes call for lightly cooked foods... the Mexican recipes call for thoroughly cooked foods in heavily spiced sauces that probably act as preservatives or something. Anyway, I bought food off of street vendors and everything and just didn't drink the water (drink Coke without ice, and bottled water), and I just thrived.

I,ve been to different parts of Mexico many times and even drank the water accidently and I never got sick either.I love that crumbly white cheese they put on the beans and the steamed corn carts,I would have never thought to put mayo,lime juice,and parmasean cheese till I went there.

What kind of recipe is that?

if you ever get sick in mexico, go to the no farmacia and get some cipro, a really lovely antibiotic. it's only like $12 for a full dose. it starts working within like five hours. and there you don't need a prescription.

"the no farmacia"? what the hell am I talking about. any pharmacy. look for the green cross on the sign. hand them a note that says, "CIPRO." they'll know what you want.

i'd like to kill myself but i'm a procrastinator, so it looks like it's old age for me.

The world would be a lot better without Mariah Carrey.

how about senator john ashcroft and kit bond ??? okay, so i'm from missouri.......but they really suck.......now the secret service will probably come and get me....and i just got off probation !!!!

This is just pretend..so don't send the FBI to my home...lol I would assasinate Donald Trump..for his self -centered ways and his lack of respect for his ex-wives. He might be a good business man but he sucks as a human being. I would bury him under one of his new buildings being constructed so they can pour the foundation over him. At least he'd be happy with that grave.

Donald Trump. That reminds me of an episode of "Quantum Leap". The christmas one that was like Scrooge. I loved the way Sam and Al "scrooged" him and then the little beam of light from the star and wotnot and Sam being all "Merry christmas, Al." even though it was summer where Al was. Those were the days.

I don't really think Donald Trump is president material, but he'd probably be better than pat buchanan or george W. bush...................

It's kind of a Hobson's choice. You can have someone who is in the pocket of evil giant corporation owners, or you can have an evil giant corporation owner. In the immortal words of Simon and Garfunkel: "Any way you look at it, you lose"

Here's to you

well... this thread contains quite a bit. the birth of 'patrick' and death of 'waffles' turnip? nevermind me. ok. so let me reask the question, 3 years later. hmmmmm?

Hmmm...no one famous.

myself. but i have to get there first. and you're less of a socialist pussy now, patty, aren't you. through age, wisdom. too bad you don't accumulate at a better rate.

Senator Wellstone.

success!

yeah im kinda embarrassed to draw up old threads. i sound like such a boob sometimes. you know the repubs are putting their hands together saying "exxxcelllent" in a montgomery burns manner at that open seat.

okay, i've got to tell you something. XXx up there? that was me. gosh, i feel so open. Let's all hug.

I think I speak for us all when I say, I'm shocked. changing your name? Such things are unthinkable! oh wisper. How can we ever trust you again?

I read that, though, and thought it was funny as hell, trying to imaging whisper doing these things. Besides, Sandra Bernhardt annoys the shit out of me. She just bugs.

I'd like to assassinate George W. out of sheer annoyance, but since Cheney would be the next to step up to the plate I'll restrain myself. If the government gets really bad is when it'll begin to change for the better.

eminem. just because he continues to be such a little bitch about things.

hmmmm,well after lots of thought,its jack.

you're just jealous.

...eat hot fuck...

V is a poopy ass penis face.

...your 10 years old...go away,or v will send you a virus,pronto.

...whats with the jack/cat shit?

Jack is after my eight nipples. I hope.

mmmmmmmm.

...mmmmmmmm,classic case of a split persona mmmmmmmm

jack,your a gay wigger,admit it,and dont tell me you dont speak American.

...nothing lower than a wigger,boy,cept for a gay whigger.

pppppppppppppppppppppppppppp Jack

jack,yes you become 2 people,big deal,v can become 50 trolls,big deal.

...y,all git back to me real soon,wigger.

..jack,v can fuck you over most nights,v will not take your shit,ever,post more,you white nigger.

oh, no! i didn't post for eight hours and v flipped out and missed me and had a little fit. how sad.

meow.

jack,no problemo ,wigger...v allways has time for you,jack

yes, i know. thanks.

...show time boy,git on back,wigger.

you're just quivering with excitement, aren't you? "jack" posts and you get a big thrill. this is really your biggest thrill, isn't it?

jack,v just wants to fuck with you,50 times over,its what im good at.

meow meow meow meow

jack,your just a pussie,HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA

i have hello kitty undies get it?

...no,but it sounds kinda cool.