last night i made a bitchin sausage and peppers....here is how it went..... 1 package of turkey sausages (5 large links), spicy, mild will do as will regular pork sausage if want fatty shit 2 bell peppers, feel to use any peppers you like as well, bell is the best i think for this 3 cloves of garlic red pepper habanero pepper powder 1 1/4 cup of uncooked rice chop peppers to any size you want, chop garlic, saute in olive oil....set aside cook the sausages, when they are slightly brown, cut into smaller pieces, or leave the way the are, who the hell cares, but I kinda have a problem with phallic foods on my plate make the instant rice, season with habanero pepper powder, garlic powder, salt, black pepper, alittle bit of butter when sausages are cooked, mix with pepper/garlic, cook for bit longer, then serve over the spicy rice.....i recommend sweet corn on the cob and yogurt as sides.......soak the corn in the husk in sugar water for sweeter corn. cook on the grill in the husk if you have one or strip it and boil it for a few minutes....YUMMY!!!!! i had never tried this before, but damn if it didn't work out.....now i have leftovers for lunch happy happy happy happy happy

applesauce made from the apples of three varieties of Flora Krick's trees, with crystallized ginger bits. on toast points.

Yesterday I mixed brussel sprouts with a can of pinto beans with chipote peppers. Quite good

any kind of red meat, marinated in worcester sauce, soy sauce, with a little ginger and a lot of garlic. Stir fry and when brown chuck in a jar of cerebos tomato relish. mmmm serve on rice.

Chicken crepes Make nice thin crepes, fill with cooked chicken, cheese sauce, asparagus, anything else you like, roll up, sprinkle with cheese and grill. Yumm

some groovey weed oil...... mmmmmm want a hoot?

Tonight...quick BBQ pork from scratch.. 1 pork roast, bottle of BBQsauce,1/2cup water,chopped green peppers, chopped onions, throw it all in a big pot, bring to a boil and turn the heat to low and simmer for 2 hours..until tender...shred the meat with a fork...serve on buns or as is with your favorite side dish.

fresh artichoke hearts, thinly sliced, with lime butter. on toast points.

Mmmmmm, artichoke hearts. I like the marinated ones that come in a jar...throw some of them in a salad with fresh spinach, cucumbers, chick peas, sunflower seeds, oil and vinegar and oregano and salt and pepper....a good lunch.

What are toast points?

Take a piece of thin white square bread and toast it. Trim off the crusts to make an even square. Cut diagonally twice. Those are toast points. It's like saying "between the sheets", or "and...they walked away". It's a favorite saying an old friend, who is now dead, and i shared in our cuisine rip days. we would make up elaborate recipes involving horsemeat forcemeat, straining through layers of imported cheesecloth, adding exotic impossible to find ingredients like Ortolan breast, etc., throwing away all but the cloth and serving it on toast points. His name is Ken Legg. He was head of the library at UC Berkeley and a Russian Studies scholar and a wit and a comfort and a cook.. I loved him for years and years. We were each married to other men, but we loved one another. I miss Ken every day of my life. He died the same day as Jon Benet Ramsey. Anyway, we would always tell each other about our food experiences. He traveled all over the planet, and would come back with tales of native foods that were unbelievably complicated or outrageous, always "on toast points". I was catering for some pretty fancy people, and behind their backs we would mock them mercilessly. Somewhere in the menu there would always be "on toast points". It's just a smartass snotty thing to say. And not so funny now that i've explained it.

what the hell is everyone on this website talking about? am i missing something 'cos nothing u say makes any sense whatsoever. is it some american thing that i don't know about? the things u talk about are the most obscure things i've ever heard in my life.

Dear Seriously concerned for your mental health, Your thoughtful comments have been taken under consideration by us, the fine folks who inhabit Sorabjiiland. While the many denizen from all walks of life welcome comments from visitors like yourself, we think you just need to grab hold of yourself and get a real tight grip. What we say here is what we think. It's all about us and our lives -- how we actually live, and/or how we would like to be living. That being said, if you're not an American, where are you from? My guess is... *drum roll please* The Isle of Mann? Either way, welcome to our world. Pull up a keyboard and stay a spell. Signed Jim aka Pajama^ (nee PajamaBoy)

that seems like a duplicate post from several weeks ago......

For the lazy/poor - Look in the fridge Look in the cupboard Look outside and realize that it's too cold to go out. Look in the cupboard again. Look in the fridge. Open up a bottle of cherry bomb jolt. This will make you more optimistic regarding the cupboard. Look again if you like. Open up the fridge, grab a tortilla, and toss it in the oven. Bonus points if it lands on a clean oven rack. Turn the oven up to broil. Drink some jolt. Wait, that's kinda hot, isn't it? Turn it down to 400 or so. Butter the tortilla a bit while warming your hands in the oven. Finish the jolt. Find a clean-looking box. Remove the tortilla and place it butter-side-up on the box. Spread cream cheese in the middle. Top with cayenne pepper. Fold up burrito-style. Comment on your inability to do something as simple as fold up a cheese burrito. Open another jolt. Serve on toast points.

this is what i made this weekend: Pumpkin Curry Soup 2 cans organic pumpkin stuff 2 cans coconut milk red thai curry paste 1/2 onion garlic (however much you can handle) raw ginger fresh kale (or collards) 4-5 dried kafir lime leaves um... let's see. first you saute the onion, garlic and ginger in a little bit of oil, til onions are soft. then add one tablespoon of the curry paste. cook for a few more minutes. then add in the 2 cans of pumpkin stuff and 4 cups of water (you can also use vegetable broth or chicken broth but try to use the low sodium kind because this soup isn't supposed to be real salty). chop up the kale (big chunky pieces) and the kafir lime leaves (little pieces) and add them in. cook on medium heat for about 15-20 minutes. add the coconut milk. simmer for about 10-15 minutes on low heat. eat it up. yum.

that sounds fucking good. dayum.

Vegetable Crepes Make 8 thin crepes. Lightly steam some beansprouts and julienned carrots and zucchini, and toss them with a little garlic butter and chopped herbs. Place the veg on the crepes and fold them up neatly. Place the crepes in a lightly oiled dish. Beat a tablespoonful of honey into 200g natural yoghurt and pour on top. Sprinkle with lightly toasted sesame seeds. Bake for 15-20 minutes in a moderate oven.

i think i've been to your website, taetia. tejano comida de la desesperacion 6-pack modelo especial 1 can chili corn tortillas diced onion shredded cheese jalepeno peppers drink a cerveza. open another one. tear corn tortillas into strips and line the bottom a bowl. spoon chili over it, then add onions, cheese, and jalepenos. make another layer starting with tortilla strips. if you got the room make one last layer ending with onions, peppers, and cheese on top. cover dish with a plate and microwave for 3-4 minutes. finish cerveza. take nuked bowl and remainder of 6-pack over to the couch, turn on the tv and watch football while eating. deliciosa.

I don't understand recipies. So many of the ingredients that you put into things just seem useless. Like the world will end if you're short a half a teaspoon of sage. ooOOOOoooOOOOooo! I'm just a mad-cap cook. Grab whatever you can find and drop it into a pot. Turn the heat on to whatever you want, and simmer for however long you feel like. Serves a few. I really like to use crockpots. They make me feel matronly.

I ate dairy, swine, fowl and meat today. at 6 a.m. I ate one-minute oatmeal cooked for about five minutes with a bunch of skim milk and a banana. so far so good. at noon I had ham, sweet potatoes and corn that my mother brought over yesterday when I was sick. at 6 p.m. I went out for dinner and had hawaiian ginger chicken with rice and macaroni salad. at midnight I had a jack in the box ultimate cheeseburger.

Doody - did the garlic butter give me away? I'm inordinately fond of garlic butter. http://www.arcadia e.net Gee - I love recipes because I'm phobic about leftovers. I solved the leftovers problem by getting a dog, but now the habit of cooking *exactly* the right amount is too deeply ingrained. So I have a thin dog with an expression of pained resignation.

who you callin' doody? actually, i recognized your name. i had linked onto your site one day looking for drink recipes.

Bloody hell. I even scrolled up to check your name, so choose between insulting or incompetent. Did you find your drink recipe?

heeheeheeheeheeeheehee. "doody". LOL That is so funny.

now i've got the damn howdy doody theme in my head. probably because i am drunk. that and the rawhide theme. i can't remember what drink i was looking for originally or whether or not i had found it. i've made several of the drinks from your page though. rollin' rollin' rollin'.

Or maybe you emailed me asking for a recipe and I sent you one of my tight-ass, snippy little "if you don't see it already, I don't have it" replies. But what is it with some people that they always want MORE? How does the Howdy Doody theme go?

Take it outside godboy Take it outside godboy I AM YOUR LORD This ain't no sippin tea If you're gonna get down - get down and pray Take it outside godboy I heard the thud and blunder I saw that infomercial This boy's been torn asunder Step outside godboy You think I'm unreliable? Well when you quote the bible Is when I load my rifle Take it outside godboy I am not your son I AM YOUR LORD Here's a gift to Jesus on his birthday If you're gonna get down - get down and pray Take it outside I AM YOUR LORD --J.G. Thirlwell

Latkes. My bubbe wouldn't approve, but they were gooood. Easy, too. Peel and grate potatoes, sweet potatoes, carrots and onions. Mostly potatoes, varying the amount of onions changes the consistency a bit. Squeeze as much water as you can out of the potatoes. Having a cheesecloth helps. Add just enough egg and flour, already beaten in a separate bowl, to help the potatoes hold together. Form small patties in your hands (keep a towel nearby) and cook in oil over medium heat until golden brown. Serve with sour cream and

I'm making tacos tonight with those weird 'vegitarian crumbles' Harvest burger from Green Giant which I highly reccommend. Under the seasoning packet you'd never know it wasn't beef.

i love those veggie-meat-substitute crunchies

i just got back from shopping. i'm going to a cocktail party on christmas eve. so i bought a french pear cognac for $40 and i'm making this pie: Pear & Dried Cranberry Pie with Pecan Topping Filling 2-1/2 lbs pears, peeled and sliced thinly 1/4 cup brown sugar (how come you taste so good now?) 1-1/2 tbs flour 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg 1/2 cup dried cranberries Topping 1/2 cup flour 1/8 teaspoon salt 1/3 cup brown sugar 1/4 cup oats 1/3 cup chopped pecans 3 tbs butter stir all the filling ingredients together and dump in a pie crust. in a separate bowl combine the topping stuff together to make it crumbly and sprinkle it over the top. press the pie crust down over the edge of the topping with your thumb. i make my own pie crusts. you can buy one if you're lazy. but the best way to make crust is with margarine (as opposed to butter or crisco). trust me on this one. maybe sheila will back me up. bake for 40 minutes at 350 degrees in a 9 inch pie dish. after it's cooled down a bit, you can sprinkle a few of the dried cranberries on the top or decorate the edge of the crust with them, or whatever. YUM now i'm hungry.

actually, i'm hungry for that beautiful boy who sold me the pear cognac at the liquor store. when i asked him if they carried Bull's Blood (hungarian red table wine) he said, yeah, in my veins. big smile. maybe i should go back there and tell him about my protein diet.

what are you going to wear for the cocktail party, sarah?

funny you should ask. i'm not sure. i shopped around for a new dress today, but didn't find anything that i adored. i'm going to shop some more tomorrow on my lunch hour(s) and i'll let you know if i come up with anything good. i'm also interested in suggestions. i called craig tonight and asked him if he wanted to drive out to the party with me. the party is on the other side of the island, about 35-40 minute drive. he said yes, but he'll drive. i secretly hope to spend the night at his house, but i'm sure that's an obvious plot to him. driving such a distance together might work to my advantage. it's time alone, which is hard to come by with this dude. he always seems to have this entourage or something. and i have a theory about driving with people. it's that if you really want to get to know someone well, go on a road trip with them. because there's something about driving long distances in a vehicle that makes people open up to each other. maybe it's sharing such a close space. maybe it's because you're side by side, looking ahead. maybe it's because you don't have to make eye contact with each other. maybe there's just nothing else to do. maybe driving doesn't make you care if person sitting next to you hears you singing off key to some cheesy pop song. maybe it's all of those things, or none of them. but the people in this world who I know the best, who i consider truly close, personal friends, are those with whom i've driven long distances. not that 35 minutes is anything close to a long distance, but in hawaii, it's the other side of the world. i want to call michael and wish him happy holidays. the girl he's in love with moved back a couple weeks ago. she showed up at our women's gathering last friday. i asked our mutual friend kim (kim used to live with rachel's brother for many years) to get the scoop on how rachel feels about michael, but i haven't heard anything yet. when rachel and i had a few moments alone, she said to me, "you know, you look really good." and i said, "thanks, so do you" though what i wanted to say was "it makes more sense now, doesn't it?" but i did not say that. instead i went on to talk about how at a recent dinner party at michael's house i met a this woman named Janai with whom she used to work and we ended up going skinny dipping. she didn't seem to like that story too much. i guess that was bitchy of me, but the story was more about her friend, who i thought was really cool. i probably should call though. i think he'd like that. i haven't seen him around in over a month. plus if i get this new job, he and i will be neighbors...

GOD LIFE IS SO GREAT! i just got back from shopping again. the suggestion box is now closed. the winner? a blood red 100% velvet lined short-sleeved mini dress. fitted, wide scoop neckline. size L. (did you hear that sheila? a regular size L.) $27.75 on sale from $70.00. honest. i'm not lying. i'll scan the tag in if you don't believe me. who knew that shopping could be a religious experience? plus i figure a blonde in a red dress is never a bad idea. i'll wear my hair up.

Ode To Red Dress by Soozie Creamcheese Oh red dress you fit just right not too loose and not too tight fits my booty, fits my chest this red dress is just the best Soft and sleek and oh so red Watch those young men turn their head For this dress I braved the mall For cocktail party's booty call. Oh red dress you're so sublime Make me look good from behind And that itself's a miracle But still not as sleek as spiracle. Thank you christmas discount price I was naughty, I was nice Santa blessed me, this I know So in this dress I'll ho ho ho.

Red Dress Haiku Red. Dress for the soul. Perfect at cocktail parties. Later, on the floor.

I love red. Have fun at your party Sarah.

Red is my favorite color. And I just caught something else: Pear Cognac? Where? :)

sarah. you understand too.

hey, i ain't no gorgeous, lanky slavic girl, but i also ain't ugly and i have a brain too. figure, might as well exercise all assets. so i have a mean girlie streak. it's fun. and i like fun. oh my god. i think my cat just tried to send me a telepathic message in english. i thought i heard someone say something (sounded a bit like yoda) and when i looked my cat was sitting right there staring at me. that was really weird. cyst, how do you get your name to be in all lowercase when you post to the boards?

"oh my god. i think my cat just tried to send me a telepathic message in english. i thought i heard someone say something (sounded a bit like yoda) and when i looked my cat was sitting right there staring at me. that was really weird. " you can learn a lot from a cat.

"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats." - Albert Schweitzer

Take Lucky Beer from Vancouver Island, British Columbia

I bet you look great in that dress, sarah. if you put a space before the first letter in your id, it comes out lower case. I saw swine doing it and someone asked. I think you were referring to me, but I'm not slavic. I just randomly ended up living in czech republic and ukraine. I'm dutch-indonesian. I hope someday someone will read that and tell me that they're dutch-indonesian too. it's almost the end of the year. this was supposed to be the fun part. and there's no excuse for mopeyness. the weather is beautifully clear. it hasn't rained in days. then the moon and the stars take over at night. a week from now I want to be hopeful about the future.

I erased a sentence from that last message accidentally. then sun shines all day. then the moon and stars take over at night. this is the most beautiful winter weather ever. today I learned that a couple days ago was the brightest full moon in 133 years. shortest day of the year but it never even got dark.

sarah - how was the cocktail party? I had an uneventful but nice christmas eve. I spent the evening at my parents' house. they have their satellite dish rigged so they get all the channels for free. so last night we were flipping through pay-per-view and stopped at "10 things I hate about you." it was cute and I liked it. during the scene where the sisters are getting drunk at some party, I decided that that was what I wanted to do. dress up and go out and drink a lot. so I called my primary date guy, the one who is least appropriate for and therefore most attractive to me, and asked him if he wanted to drink a lot of red wine when he got off work at the trendy late-night bistro. he said yes. so I went home and played liz phair and took a shower, put on makeup, curled my hair. I wore the bitch boots with a tight black sweater and a very short purple velvet skirt. it's hard to tell what I look like in my apartment at night because of the way the mirrors and lights are situated. I'm always backlit, so it's hard to tell, but I thought I probably looked pretty. I decided not to bring a purse or even my wallet. I just took my driver's license and some cash. I left some things behind so I wouldn't be able to spend much money or spend the night away from home. I felt christmasy and wished I had the carpenters album with their version of "the christmas waltz" on it. I would have tried to whirl around the living room instead of just singing and laughing loudly. they had closed the restaurant early and the staff were sitting at the bar drinking some of the better red and sparkling wines. I was happy to be there with them and the wine was nice and my friend looked cute, but I remember wishing that they served wine in stemmed glasses instead of water tumblers. but it was all good enough. my friend's coworker, the crazy skinny tall pale pretty david bowie/prince valiant type who acts gay but supposedly isn't, came and flirted with me like he always does with everyone. my friend told me once he randomly approached a prudish chick friend of his at a bar and whispered, "you are so beautiful that you make me want to push you down on this bar and fuck you until you scream," and she cried. he makes me laugh. he swings his hips and tosses his hair and gets huge tips. I never, ever know what to say to him. how do you interact with someone who is all artifice? I guess it works if you can come up with oscar wilde repartee, but I'm not that smart or quick-thinking. and I wasn't yet drunk enough to speak to him with candor. then we all went to the bar next door. the only place in portland where I've seen a cockroach run across a table. my friend went to get us drinks and I talked with prince valiant and another coworker, a guy I went to high school with. I couldn't even figure out why prince valiant wanted to talk to me. he's the coolest kid at the coolest bar, he's been in heard-of local bands, he's fucked everyone. and I am clearly not a portland scenester, I am not an important person to know or impress. my drunken former classmate told him, "yeah, we went to high school together, and now she's all supermodel." so maybe that was why. maybe that christmas glow was showing, maybe he thought tonight I was pretty enough to be worth talking to. in my bitch boots we were the same height and we stood very close, face to face. he told me he'd only met a few girls who were as tall as he was and that he found it very attractive. he ran his hands down my the sides of my waist down to the hem of my skirt -- not a long journey -- and asked me what I was going to do for him. I'd finished my margarita by then and I was feeling very giggly. I turned my head away and sort of swung my hair around. he said, "don't flirt with me. I know what you're doing. and I can do it too." then he imitated me, flipping his hair out of his face just enough so that if it were longer it would have fallen right back again. "I can give people those looks, and I can walk like you too." he sashayed to the video poker machine and back. "I learned everything I know from girls like you, and I use it well. I make my living by being charming. you're very attractive and you know what to do, but I do too. and I have that whole supermodel thing going on too. look at these legs." he looked down at his ridiculously long and slender legs, which were showcased in black leather pants. "you have great legs," I told him. I knew he didn't like me. I think he was pissy that he wasn't the only tall and pretty girl around. we talked about how far a little superficial charm can get you. "I haven't worked since june," I told him. it wasn't entirely true and later I wanted to add a disclaimer, not that I actually have sort of worked but that I haven't had sex for money. I drank so many $3 margaritas that I didn't just smile back at this one guy who was staring at me but mouthed the word "hi" to him. I started to understand the appeal of this sleazy little dive -- the cost of the drinks is not a serious impediment toward the goal of getting fucked up. I bought me and my friend a margarita and a beer and handed the bartender two fives. "oh, you only need one of these, honey, it's only $4.50." I told my friend some of the things prince valiant had told me and he laughed. knowing I was going to be driving home alone as soon as I sobered up a little, I sat very close to him and whispered that I was feeling very kind, very generous, full of christmas spirit.

cyst, sometimes when i read these things from you i feel as if i am reading my own writing. only for me, it would be fiction, with colorful fictional characters. it makes me wonder the details you chose not to write about as well. the cocktail party was good fun. i just took 10 mg of valium and i'm drinking fresh ginger tea. literally ginger cut up and boiled. i haven't slept in days, so i'll do the best i can. the red dress was perfect. but i've already said that. a few people told me i looked like a christmas tree ornament, which might have meant round and shiny. or maybe cheap katchka. i don't know. the drive out with craig was unremarkable. we hung out at his semi mansion for a while before leaving. he showed me pictures from his world travels. his former wife. some mutual friends with radical boob jobs who got naked and posed in the waterfall on his property. young, gorgeous men, half-clothed and posing. i realized that i don't impress him in anyway. even that little s&m incident at his halloween party was perhaps trite in his eyes. i seem trivial to him. he didn't laugh at my bear joke. he got full service gas and tipped the attendants 10 bucks each. my girlfriend theresa is back in town for the holidays, staying with her boyfriend, with whom she lived for 2 years before taking this job on the mainland. the food was immense. there were more desserts than dinner foods. and the drinks were copious. i had already started on eggnog and cognac at 1 pm after i got home from the gym, so by the time i got to the party, i felt good. and already full. thank god you only drink that shit once a year. it's nearly poison. and frightening close to milk. i woke up this morning and immediately threw away the remainder of the quart. theresa has spent the last 8 months in santa cruz working in geology. she met a girlfriend there. a san franciscan named thea. a 26 year old anomoly. a witty, attractive, but airheaded special ed teacher. a remarkable dancer with great taste in music. she lipped sinc'd some funny tunes for us. very san francisco. to the core. theresa said, when we go out dancing, the guys are all over her. i have to make sure there's space between their dicks and her ass. i said, i thought everyone in california danced like that. so theresa, thea, and evan are all sharing a bed together. i was asked to stay the night but declined. the men there were mostly unremarkable. no new faces, which was so disappointing. quite a few witnesses of my halloween incident, which drew interestingly subtle innuendos throughout the evening. but everyone kept it cool. we danced. my partner from halloween was there with his wife. he was openly staring at theresa and me while she and i made out in the kitchen. after dessert. if he's brave enough, he'll call me and ask for another, because i know that's what he wants to do. if he *should* ask, well, that's another issue entirely. all of it just seems so dishonest. a show. i don't like to put on a show. i like to be real. but people don't see a blonde in a short red velvet dress as real. suddenly they project onto me all of these things that i am not. and boy do their prejudices all hang out. but i had a good time. we took a million photos. i drank pear cognac and red wine. i got home at 4 a.m. and had to wake up at 9 for brunch with my father and his girlfriend and her aggressively obnoxious son. we at on the veranda at the moana surfrider in waikiki. i ate shrip and crabcakes, asparagus and roasted vegetables, salad, turkey. and just a taste of the finest chocolate mousse ever. ever. that's about all i could handle given the previous evening's food and drink surfeit. you know, there's more. but the valium is having its way with me. but i'll tell you all one thing. it is getting harder and harder for me to project the real me. the low cut red dress gig gets in the way of the real thing. i don't mind the attention once in a while, but i'd rather be in my cut-offs and tshirt on michael's lanai on lanikai beach playing guitar and drinking wine. all this other shit is just filler. my friend mason, who was born and raised here, just came back a few days ago to visit his friends and family. he lives in seattle now and he's so happy. mason is the man. he's hilarious, low-key, and totally in the moment. and he's fucking smart. i haven't seen him since what... since february? he called me up friday around 7pm and left a message and said, hey, i'm in town, a bunch of us are meeting at anna's around 10, come on down if you can. i got the message at 11:30 right before i was about to lay down to sleep. but no, can't miss mason. so i got my shit together and cruised down there. he didn't recognize me at first. took him about 5 seconds. you look great, he said. we hugged. and we fell right back into it. he's just a great guy. he didn't treat me any different than he ever had before and that was so nice. i felt like he really sees me. we really see each other. of course, all the other girls at the table wouldn't look at me, let alone talk to me. but how can you convince someone you're nice and not stuck up when you don't even know them? it's hard. you don't get even one chance. then, before i left after final call, we said goodnight. he came across the table and hugged me again and we said goodbye. we'll see each other again before he goes back to seattle. i gave our friend Scott a ride home. and then right before i turned to leave i glanced at mason one last time to smile a farewell and he was staring at me. a new look, i didn't recognize. well yeah. he was checking me out. i used to have a huge crush on him once upon a time. but now that doesn't matter. before i was someone else in everyone's eyes and now i'm someone else again. but i'm really just the same. the thing is, people don't really know what's down there inside, the part that is the core, that stays the same no matter what. and maybe that part doesn't matter to anyone but me. i have a feeling i'll be moving away from here - just for a few months - before the end of next year. g'night.

i left without saying good bye to the yearned-for one, who is leaving on vacation with his wife and children. my dog had just died during surgery, and i had to run. at least i know she didn't do it on purpose, like my wretched mother did a few years ago at xmas. he is growing a (blonde) beard, and it's all i can do to keep from flinging myself down the conference table at staff meeting, just to lick his face. the louche look is to die for, he being an anal compulsive neat freak and all. my contract is up in a couple of months.

oh i forgot, about the cooking. mincemeat ice cream, made with Crosse and Blackwell which has no meat in the mince.

I went to a party last night with my inappropriate-for-me friend. it's very difficult to dress for parties. especially when you've seen many of the people who will be there the night before, so you can't wear THAT. especially when it's freezing outside and boiling inside. the boots. warm gray tights. tight knee-length gray crepe skirt. sleeveless black shell under a black boiled-wool sweater. it was the seventh outfit I tried on. I knew I'd look way more conservative than all the cool junkie kids, but what the fuck. the house was in a really nice neighborhood. I was told there would be no visible house number, but I knew which one it was right away because of the indian bedspread hanging in the front window. I walked in and couldn't see my friend through the heavy clouds of marijuana and tobacco smoke. some really nice girls welcomed me in, merry christmas, there's mulled wine on the stove. I walked over there and saw my friend hanging up the phone. I think he was calling me because I was an hour late. I had decided that I absolutely, no matter what, was not going to drink any alcohol that day, so I hunted for a clean mug in which to try the sweet-smelling wine. I remembered that my friend counts my drinks for me. I think he really likes me. the night before he had known what margarita I was on even though I hadn't been sitting with him much of the time. he says he's concerned about my driving but I think that may be a selfish excuse, I think he just wants me to spend the night all the time. he pays attention and he remembers things. on christmas eve I tried to remember to always *67 when calling from my parents' house because I hated the thought of having their names show up on the caller id display in the pot/porn room of his house. apparently I'd forgotten once, and last night he told me my father's name. "how did you know?" he didn't tell me until hours later. I'm keeping him at arm's length emotionally and he understands and he's playing me really well. he's not pushing me into anything anymore so I have no reason to be mean to him. someone asked him how we knew each other. but he didn't tell the story. I love the story. the one about how some guy at the bank gave me $60 and said I could pay him back over lunch some time, then I took the money to a bakery and saw this other guy behind the counter and thought to myself, "now why couldn't THIS ONE ask me out instead?" and then HE DID. I guess his side of the story isn't as cute ("she bought a loaf of bread from me a year and a half ago"). prince valiant came by. he looks just like him, just skinnier. straight hair with short bangs and the rest chin length. dyed black, of course. pale skin, blue eyes, high cheekbones. tall. imagine prince valiant possessed by jon bonet ramsey. he had told me to cut the flirting act with him, and I wanted him to do the same for me. I wanted him to not smile for one minute. the third or so time we talked, I asked him why he was so hostile toward me. "you're right. I owe you an apology," he said. "no, you don't." "I'm only talking about a SOCIAL apology. not like I would actually change my ways or anything." he smiled. "why are you so mean?" I asked. "because there are no bad consequences. I've been mean to you, but you haven't slapped me or anything. you know. I bet you're actually a REAL BITCH too. but you still get what you want." he was standing in the doorway under some mistletoe. he looked up at it, looked at me, and smiled. I smiled back and left him. I sat down and smoked some pot and wondered about the dramas unfolding around me. I heard about them in the car later. "you know those two girls who talked to you as you walked in? they were really into you. until they found out you were my friend. the blonde used to like me and I said ok I would be her friend because she said she was off heroin, but she wasn't. at all. "and the guy you said was cute, I was surprised he showed up at all because he used to go out with christine." "who's christine?" I asked. "the one with the wavy dark hair." "I don't remember. what was she wearing?" "I don't KNOW. I didn't notice." "well, I don't remember anyone's names, just their outfits," I said. "I talked to [prince valiant] tonight." "yeah, I noticed. what did he say?" my friend asked. "I asked him why he was so mean. he said it's because no one ever punishes him for it." "he's right. and he really knows how to push people's buttons. so do you." "what are you talking about?" I asked. "you know you do. like when you told me to go kiss [prince valiant] tonight. he didn't like it. he was PISSED."

You guys live a soap opera.

that's what i was thinking. totally hollywood.

oh come on. hollywood's stupid, but I don't think it's that boring.

where do you think hollywood get it's ideas from? you will be talking about something, and idea or fanatsy and 6 months later you see it on tv, weird, and it happens, if i were a typical lame hollywood "writer", there is plenty of inspiration to be had around here...

Not that there is anything wrong with that.

it's not a soap opera and it ain't hollywood. it's not the life, it's how you write about it.

oh yeah, i wanted share my green bean recipe, although there is not much too it, but i have found in the west coast they like theri green beans undercooked and crunchy, and well thats just wrong, so here is how i do it, try it if you like fresh snap/string/green whatever beans i recommend a bong hit and some ornette coleman to accompany you and your snapping session, but it doesn't matter. boil hard for about 5 minutes, and then simmer. 2 veg bouillan cubes salt, red pepper and black pepper, 1 clove of garlic cut in 1/4s or 1/8s, and jes let those fuckers simmer for at least 3 hours...let em get nice and soft, salty, a little spicy and man o man........

al dente is not wrong, you southern freak.

leave al dente to wolfgang puck and his band of merry culinary jerks for when they seek to "art" up any dish by serving it completely and utterly undercooked. in the south if you can't mop it up with a biscut, then save it for the animals and in the west if you can undercook it serve it with artichokes or tofu, call it fusion......

I can vouch for him,add some red potatoes,and those little white onions,some cornbread,and you,re on your way to hog heaven.

you can have you hog heaven, but you don't have to overcook vegitables. veggies are good, so why cook the flavor and nutrition out of them?

i like to think i am enhancing the flavor and by allowing it to cook in it's own juices seems to me to recycle the flavor........in the same way you take meat stock and make a gravy with it......

nooo thats not right - Pay attention next time you're draining your carrots or peas or whatever - the coloured water going down the drain is the nutrtion. Geez didnt you take Home Ec in high school?

sarah - where's lanikai beach? I spent a summer in other people's houses in hawaii once. I can't spell any of the names of the towns. makaha, waianae, nanakuli. hilo. I thought it was dreadful, but you make it sound nice.

lanikai beach is windward side of oahu, the wetter and more tropical side, which is exactly the opposite side of the island from makaha, waianae, and nanakuli. hilo is on the big island. it's the rainiest city in the US. leeward oahu, where it appears you spent time couch surfing (or mattress surfing..) is not at all dreadful, though i can see how you might think that as a visitor. it's pretty dry that side and in the summer it gets hot. real hot. but the culture and the surroundings out that way... well, that's old hawaii, my dear. or at least, that's what the US has turned old hawaii into. some of it isn't that pretty to look at, but you'll find the truest aloha out there. and some damn fine poi and laulau. if you were looking for a postcard reality, you should have stayed at a resort on maui. out past all those towns at the end of the road is makua beach, where we camp on full moons. i was there wednesday night, and 15 footers were crashing nearly at shorebreak. this photo was taken there in August. the day after the makua when i first met michael. http://syrup.org/photos/hawaii/sexrock.jpg that's not so dreadful is it? in the summer the north shore waters are calm like that. because it was winter, and because of the full moon last week, high tide was 2 feet higher, and the beach was awash and we had to find higher ground. and the coastal road was washed out in the morning; there were bulldozers moving sand off the pavement back to the beach. it was quite exciting. lanikai beach is down around the point from kailua beach. lanikai is a itty bitty peninsula of land on the far south side of kailua bay. each end of the beach dead-ends at a rocky point, and there's a high ridge along the backside of it, like a privacy wall from the rest of the island. on the top of the ridge there are two pillboxes and people launch their hangliders and paragliders from up there. it's an easy hike. paul mitchell, john travolta, and michelle pfeiffer have homes on the beach at lanikai. there are two mokes (little islands) about 1-1/2 miles off the coast. one has a small beach that you can land on if you swim, sail, or paddle out there. the other one is a protected bird sanctuary and human contact is completely kapu there. the water between the beach and the mokes is the bluest green, relativelly shallow, filled with coral, fish, and green sea turtles. about 200 yards off the beach some friends of mine anchored a huge raft to a large coral boulder and it's bliss to swim out there and lay in the middle of the bay on a sunny afternoon. the sand at lanikai beach is white, and as soft as silk, but also firm to the step, which makes is perfect for walking or running. the beach itself is nearly a mile long from end to end. i'll try to dig up some photos of lanikai and scan them in one of these days. it's one of the best beaches in the world. literally.

oh yeah, and lanikai and kailua bay are the hotspots for kitesurfing, which is all the rage here. last time i hiked lanikai ridge, i saw all these small orange kites dotting the water below. i want to try that, looks so fun. i'm buying a new longboard in january. a ten-o.

i think i was at lanikai. if it's by kailua. we paddled to an island but i don't think it was a mile and a half.

I spent six weeks on oahu with a friend and her extended family when I was 15. I stayed in makaha most of the time. then we went to the hilo side of the big island for a couple weeks. the culture shock I've experienced in moving to the former soviet bloc was really nothing compared to how I felt as a teenage haolie in waianae. "mano-boy! you pao?" the first night I was there I even had trouble understanding what they were saying. every oldest son is named for his father. this causes no confusion because the son goes by the diminutive -- the first name with the word "boy" as a suffix. "pao" means done or finished. I got the feeling over there that I shouldn't wander around unaccompanied by a hawaiian. and I never saw any whites hanging out at the waianae beaches in the evening. I was told they "weren't allowed." I made no effort to assimilate. I wouldn't ever talk pidgin. so I didn't get to go through the honorary hawaiian ceremony that I heard quiet references to during my stay. I was so dumb. I thought it was going to be like america but on an island. I had no idea it was something else entirely. I'd spent the summer before traveling through europe, so I felt all worldly and cosmopolitan. but I seriously got the feeling that no one I met there, not even the adults, could point to that continent on a globe. I'm sure I was the biggest fucking pretentious snooty bitch that summer. no wonder I hated it. most of the time I hung out with my friend and her cousin, who was also our age. one day I asked her where she planned to go to college. when I was 15, I thought everyone went to college. she looked at me like I was crazy. "isn't there a university of hawaii?" I asked. (yeah.) "why don't you want to go to college?" then my friend finally said, "everyone knows that girls who go to the university of hawaii get RAPED."

oh yeah. you did get a big dose of the real thing, didn't you? btw, it's pau, not pao. my friends and i (no, all of my friends here are NOT all white) hang out on waianae beaches at night occassionally. plenty hawaiians around too. my favorite is Kiko, this 38 year old guy who has never left waianae. never been past maile, never been to makakilo or even honolulu. he was shot in the head ten years ago and lived. he does net fishing at makua in the summer. nice guy. it's not that the haoles aren't allowed. not at all. it's military men who aren't allowed, and anyone else with a self righteous sense of authority and/or territory. if you show RESPECT, know your place, and act accordingly, you can do just fine out there. are haoles discriminated against? hell yes. but you know what? we fucking deserve it. we had no business being here in the first place. i'm one of the only haoles at my gym. it's a very local place and i definitely stick out. all the employees know my name. i am the only haole in my aerobics classes. and there are a few haole guys in the free weights area every night, but not many. nobody is mean to me at all. in fact, everyone is very friendly with me, but i'm also an outsider in many ways. and it's ok, i get it. i'm feeling a little emotional tonight because my aerobics instructor gave me a gift after class. last week i wrote out a nice card, telling her how much i owe the success of my fitness to her and how much she inspires me and encourages me and makes it fun to go every night. and i gave her a $50 gift certificate to a great little shopping center with quirky stores and restaurants and stuff. it was the *least* i could do show my appreciation for everything she has done for me in the past year. her name is Judith and she's a hardcore local girl. talks thick pigin. and is physically the strongest woman i've ever known personally. she's also hilarious. and kind. anyway, after class she handed me one of those little gift bags with some girlie smelly stuffs in it, and said that my gift was too generous and that the card made her cry. and we thanked each other and i felt shy and awkward but it was good. it's funny when i realized that i spent with her at least an hour a day nearly every day this entire year and we hardly know each other. but she has played a huge part in my life and health, and in a way, i owe her much more than $50 and a card. in a way, i owe her my life. i really believe that. i'm becoming verklempt. but that's beside the point. the point is, i'm sure she and i would make good friends, but it's hard because we come from different worlds. and as much as i'd like to be accepted in her world outside of the gym, the social boundaries here make it *really* hard for that to happen. but again, that's just the way it is, and i don't think it's wrong or bad in any way.

thats thing moonit, i never drain my veggies, i let em simmer and soak....i suppose the nutrition could be steamed away, but fuck it, i have vitamins,

they never talked about stuff like that on Magnum PI.

Patrick - I'd rather chew off my own foot than eat green beans that have boiled for 3 hours. (You'd lose less nutrients if you did them in a pressure cooker, though.) I have my green beans steamed until they're hot but not cooked, tossed with a little lemon juice, chopped spring onion, and pepper.

NO NO, i didn't say boil for three hours. I said boil them for about 5 minutes in the beginning, the simmer on low uncovered for three hours.....

Patrick - I'd rather chew off my own foot than eat green beans that have been boiled for 5 minutes and then simmered on low uncovered for 3 hours. How do you do carrots? I still have one foot left.

i don't care for carrots all that much, it depends on what you are using them in. In say a salad, I don't mind them raw as long as they are chopped in small pieces. In say a stew, well I like them just that...stewed. I guess I have texture problems with some foods. Crunchy vegetables annoy me, raw tomatoes gross me out although I eat just about every biproduct of tomatoes. Celery has a weird taste to it, kinda nasal-like with it's taste and smell. I love all kinds of beans. The less crunchy, the better I suppose. Broccoli, asparagus, cauliflower, sprouts, eggplant, mushrooms, ....BLAGHHHHH!!!! i kinda like cucumbers soaked in vinegar, with a little pepper, but more for the vinegar than the cucumbers themselves. lettuce of all kinds, red cabbage good, white bad. I like collards and spinach steamed with a pepper sauce on top. onions rock of all kinds, but again i prefer them cooked as well. Same goes for peppers. There are few veggies that are truly TASTY by themselves. So i suppose how you cook them will differ from region to region. I admit to being a picky eater, and my tastes have expanded over the years. Since my grandmother grew most of her vegetables, I was fed as a child with her cooking styles enforced. She was very southern in her cooking style, and well, I happen to prefer that I suppose. I will eat my green beans any which way, but i prefer them, naturally, my way, the way my grandmother made them (minus the fatback). salt for that foot?

Here's a good way to do white cabbage, unless you're so traumatised that it's too late. Come to think of it, given your vegetable stew prefs, you probably won't like it anyway. Slice a quarter of a white cabbage very fine and put in a large pot. Add a little water (just til it covers the bottom of the pot), and a little herb vinegar, and a handful of caraway seeds. Bring to the boil, simmer for a minute or so, and serve while the cabbage is still crisp. I hope you're not a vegetarian. Care for a toe?

i was for about 6 months and i lost considerable weight. from a 145lb 19 year old to 125-30lbs, i couldn't loose much more. My doc essentially screamed at me and I gave up the political bullshit and jumped back on top of the food chain. thats does sound good, come to think of it, i bet a lot of things could be good like that. I love cooking onions, pepper, garlic in similar fashion, with a little olive oil. i love spices and vinegars, so that might be able to work for me.

cyst, if you want to see some photos, drop me an email at syrup@sorabji.com. i won't post them for general consumption. and no, they're not nudies.

oh, except you all can see these. it's hawaii stuff, all from recent hiking expeditions: http://syrup.org/photos/hawaii/makua.jpg http://syrup.org/photos/hawaii/ewa.jpg and http://syrup.org/photos/hawaii/endang.jpg which is the class A endangered plant species endemic to hawaii. i can't remember what it's called but i'll go look it up right now.

Abutilon menziesii aka Ko`oloa`ula

that plant is beautiful. what family is it in?

I'm eating these ritz crackers (everything tastes better when it sitz on a ritz) in the shape of snowflakes and they were in the fridge. Our fridge leaks. the crackers look kind of pale. Putting two and two together, I get the feeling these crackers got wet and then dried up. they taste really funny.

that's really gross. I've been drinking a lot of twinings irish breakfast tea lately.

i forgot to mention that my guatemalan sister in law taught me how to make tamales while i was home. i am going to make them for new year's.

man, don't mess around them tamales now - 'cause they're too black bad. if you mess around them hot tamales i'm gonna upset you're backbone, put your kidneys to sleep, i'll due to break your liver away and dare your heart to beat 'bout my hot tamales cause they're red hot, yes she got 'em for sale hot tamales and they're red hot, yes she got 'em for sale. (robert johnson "they're red hot") i love tamales.

Agatha -- Dave's brother is married to a sister form Guatelama? Cool -- have you guys ever been there to visit? I hear it's got a gorgeous countryside. I am thinking abt cooking something special for myself for New Year's Eve. But I can't decide if that's really pathetic or really progressive... But I'll prolly get dragged over to my annoying neighbors' crib. They found out the 'rents are away/so they had meover for Xmas & extended another invitation to stop by for their little New Year's Eve soiree. And I truly don't want to be bothered w/those people. They have 2 obese, ill-tempered cats & 4 litter boxes in their house -- none of which they ever bother to clean. And they still use the smelly clay litter /not the clumpable stuff. Bleccch! I hate housework as much as the next person/but my home doesn't smell like a litter box/so why shd theirs?) I'm trying to think of a way to beg off at the last minute. But I can't play it off like I'm going out -- they can see the car in front my unit/plain as day. But if I don't don't agree to at least come over for a drink at midnite/I'm sure they'll ring my bell. *sigh* Why can't I live next door to a cool couple like & Agatha & Dave?

I love green corn tamales,pure,with no sauce.

that's what i'm making. although i went to two grocery stores last night to discover that their corn husk supply was plumb out. just the little sign with the empty peg sitting there. dave's on a mission right now to find me some corn husks. it's actually my brother who is married to a guatemalan. she rocks. my neice and nephew are completely bilingual.

on toast points! i'm getting teary!

i made this indian-ish curry dish last night and am eating the leftovers right now. outstanding. Ingredients 1.5 lbs boneless chicken breast 1.5 cups crushed pretzels or 1 cup flour 1 teaspoon nutmeg 1 teaspoon paprika 1 egg 2 tbs half n half 1 medium sweet onion thinly sliced 4 cloves garlic chopped 1 cup diced or sliced bell peppers (i used a combo of green, red, and yellow) 2 cups chopped collard greens (i'm sure spinach would work nicely too) 1 15oz can diced fire roasted tomatoes 2 teaspoons curry powder 1 15oz can coconut milk Directions Preheat oven to 350. Spray some olive oil lightly into a rectangular baking dish. Pound out the chicken breasts and cut them long ways into about thirds. If you're using pretzels, crush them into a powder and spread them out on a plate. Season the flour or pretzels with salt, pepper, paprika and nutmeg. In bowl whisk together the egg and half n half. Dredge chicken parts in the egg wash, then in the pretzel or flour, and line them up in the baking dish. Let bake for 15 minutes. Meanwhile saute the fresh veggies in 1/2 tbs olive oil and 1/2 tbs vegetable oil (or whatever oil) and season with salt and pepper. After about three to five minutes, add the tomatoes and curry powder and heat through. Then add the coconut milk and heat through (i used 3/4 of the can of coconut milk). The veggies should be tender but not cooked all the way. Pour the veggies on top of the chicken, cover with aluminum foil and bake for another 25 or 30 minutes. Serve hot over jasmine rice.

This rocks! Scallops Grenobloise From “More Fast Food My Way,” by Jacques Pepin 2 slices white bread 2 1/2 tablespoons peanut or canola oil (divided use) 1 lemon 1 pound large scallops (about 16), rinsed under cold water to remove any sand 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper 2 tablespoons drained capers 6 tablespoons ( 3/4 stick) unsalted butter 1/4 cup diced ( 1/2 -inch) white mushrooms (about 3) 1 tablespoon red-wine vinegar 2 tablespoons coarsely chopped fresh parsley, for garnish Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Cut the bread into 1/2 -inch dice and toss the bread with 1 tablespoon of the oil. Spread the pieces on a cookie sheet and bake for 6 to 8 minutes, or until browned. Set aside. Peel the lemon, removing the skin and the white pith underneath. Cut between the membranes to remove totally clean segments of lemon flesh. Cut into 1/2 -inch pieces until you have about 2 tablespoons diced lemon flesh. Remove any adductor muscles still attached to the scallops. Sprinkle scallops with the salt, pepper and the remaining 1 1/2 tablespoons oil. Heat a large, nonstick skillet over high heat until very hot, then add the scallops. Reduce the heat to medium and cook for about 2 minutes on each side. They should be nicely browned. Arrange 4 scallops on each of 4 serving plates and sprinkle on the lemon pieces, capers and bread cubes. Heat the butter in a small skillet and add the mushrooms. Cook for 2 to 4 minutes, or until the butter browns lightly. Add the vinegar. Spoon the sauce over the scallops, sprinkle the parsley on top and serve.