G.A.S.H.

sorabji.com: The Stalking Post: G.A.S.H.
By Fetidbeaver on Tuesday, November 23, 1999 - 12:12 am:

    A man returns from a trip to Africa and is feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hosptal to undergo tests. Later he awakes in a private hospital room,the phone rings, "This is your doctor. We have bad news. The results of your tests are back and you have G.A.S.H. It's a combination of Gonorrhea, AIDS, Syphilis, and Herpes!"
    "Oh my gosh," cried the man, "What are you going to do, doctor?"
    "Well, we're going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes and pita bread."
    "Will that cure me??" asked the man.
    The doctor replied, "Well no, but......it's the only food we can get under the door."

By Wavydave on Tuesday, November 23, 1999 - 12:28 am:

    yeeeeargh!

    kinda like the part in "Microserfs" where the one guy is freaking out and locks himself in his office and his friends go shopping for flat foods to feed him.