One of my wife's co workers gave her a kimono to give to me as a gift. It's so cool, it has a pair of long, knee length shorts and then the robe to match. It's black with a scary dragon, on the back and front breast. It's authentic and i look damn good in it, last night i kung fu-ed all over the apartment and wore myself out ........when we move to a house, we are gonna set up our japanese room, host kareoke parties, serve miso in our japanese soup bowls and decorate with all the other japanese nic naks we have collected in the 6 years my wife has worked for this company. i will of course wear my kimono and otherwise make an ass outta myself.... also, the fucking irony. Last night i was at the grocery store, and guess who i saw ....? AGAIN, Beck, AGAIN buying a large jug of water. he was wearing these 70's ultra big, wire rimmed purples glasses and otherwise looked like me when i was 12 years old, minus the blond hair.....it was different grocery store too...god damn!

>(sigh) Geez dude read a book. There are times when this job gets on >my nerves but anyway where was I? Oh yeah cool I get to start training >today for supporting werewolves, magic users. Wow and Vampire hunters, you >would think that would be a conflict of interest. Oh well. > ><<2 weeks of training later > >Instructor: . . . ok just to go over a few things first of all we do >not >support major summoning or world destroying rituals. And if they are >a >werewolf and have just shifted and can no longer communicate you will >need to direct them to the growling and grunting specialist any >questions? > >TS: Ok now what exactly constitutes a major summoning and I mean >what is >our policy if like I dunno they attempted a summoning and like >screwed up >the name and got a major demon lord kinda thing instead of the minor >imp >they were trying for >Inst: Well assuming they are still alive you would probably want to >escalate it. Any other questions? > ><<Later that month > >(ring ring) > >TS: Shape shifter Technical support may I please have your name and >type >of shifter you are? > >Cust: This is Derek Thorfin and I am having this problem (scratching >noises) I can't get this problem I can't get this damn hair to go >away >after I shift it is this one patch and it just will not go away. > > > >TS: Hmmmm well sir is it a rectangular patch on your chest and >abdominal >area? > >Cust: Yes actually it is > >TS: Well sir that will not go away as you are a shifter by position >rather than by birth so that patch of hair is the mark of the animal >demon that currently possesses you > >Cust: So when will there be a solution to this problem? > >TS: Well sir that particular behavior as I have said is a side effect >of >being a shifter > >Cust: Oh, so when are you going to fix it cause I like don't like >this >hair it itches. > > >TS: Sir as I said this is something that can not be fixed unless you >want to go through a cleansing ritual and give up being a shape >shifter >that is > >Cust: No you don't understand I want this hair gone and you need to >tell >me how to get rid of it got that fella cause if not I'll have to come >down there and rend you limb from limb cause I am a werewolf, got >that >geeky boy now you go on and tell me that secret way you have of >getting >rid of this here hair > >TS: Sir I will have to tell that if you continue to be threatening I >will >have to terminate this call and refer your case to our security >department, now that being said we do not have any secret way of >doing >this > >Cust: Alright that's it you are lying to me either tell me or I come >down >there and REND ALL YOU blankety blank blank blankity blank INTO SMALL >QUIVERING CHUNKS OF FLESH!!! YOU GOT THAT GEEKY BOY!!! WHAT DO YOU >SAY TO >THAT HUH WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO HUH!!! > >TS: I am sorry sir I need to terminate this call (click) > >(A few days later) > >(Loud growling followed by a loud pop followed by silence) > >Hmmmm I wonder if I should have told him about the silver trap we >have >for werewolves oh well back to work. . . > >(ring ring) > >TS: Mystical Technical Support may I please have your name and the >name >of your group or contract number if you are an independent > >Cust: Yeah my name is Mike Evenstar and I am a member of the most >glorious order of hiparcthurs and tolemay. > >TS: Ok sir what can I help you with? > >Cust: Well it is a small thing really, I was just wondering what >would >happen if ummmm well when summoning a 9th level elemental spirit I >had >gotten two of the glyphs wrong? > >TS: Which Glyphs sir? (Sound of head pounding on table is heard) > >Cust: well ummmmm I sort of changed the 9 into a 90 and the elemental >to >demonic > >TS: Ummm sir can you hang on a second? > >Cust: Sure no problem but please hurry the glowing purple thing is >getting worse and the walls have started bleeding. > >TS: I'll hurry sir (hold music) AHHHH why do I get these calls? (off >hold) Ok sir what I want you to do is pleae follow these steps ok >first >open the door to the room you are in, step through it, and run as >fast as >you can and then call this number 555-DUMB this is a service we refer >people to who clean up this sort of thing > >Cust: Ok so I open the (sound of a wet crubching sound a scream and >then >silence) >TS: (sigh) I lose more idiots that way, oh well > >Well this is cool I got promoted to major conjureations and >summonings >and escalation support last week. It means more money etc although >now I >end up with even bigger problems to deal with anyway more training I >guess. > >(ring ring) > >TS: Escalations go for it > >Other Tech: Ok I got this guy who says that he is trying a major >summoning and he has a wizard class account so he is like covered but >I >have no clue what the deal is, he has the sacrifice he needs, all his >sigology looks fine, I mean he even has the blue pillar of fire going >for >him could you take it plase I am frankly stumped > >TS: Sure go ahead and transfer him (pause) Hiya I hear you having >some >problems. > >Cust: Yes I can not understand it I have all the materials and >everything appears to be alright I have gateway open but I am getting >no >response to the truename. > >TS: A sacrifice was mentioned could you tell me what kind? > >Cust: yes a virgin human female sacrifice was needed and she is >waiting >right here all bound and prepared for the demon to come through and >rip >her to pieces I mean we even have the proper amount of screaming. > >TS: (knowing chuckle) Ummmm did you say virgin sacrifice? And how old >is >she? > >Cust: She is 17 and I had her checked out beforehand and she is a >virgin. > >TS: yeah and do you have a teenage assistant? A young male assistant >perhaps? > > > >Cust: Well yes I. . . DAMNIT ALL TO HELL, Jedrick come over here I >swear >that I will peel the skin off you back and feed you to -truename of >major demon omitted- > >TS: Sir you know saying names like that in front of open gateways can >be >a bad thing > >Cust: Huh what you mean -------? why would that be bad > >TS: Sir I would once again advise against saying that name in front >of a >gateway > >Cust: Oh come on noone actually expects ------- to answer I mean he >(sound of a thunder clap) > >TS: (sigh) If this keeps happening I might get written up > >(ring ring) > >TS: Escalations go ahead > >OT: Ummmm I have a demon on the phone > >TS: You mean someone summoned a demon and he needs help with it > >OT: N-n-no the demon killed him while he was on the phone and ummm it >somehow got my name and now it says it owns my soul as well and I am >kinda in over my head, HELP please. > >TS: ok go ahead and conference it and listen in ok > >OT: ok here goes > >Demon: YOU SOULS ARE MINE ALL OF THEM!!! > >TS: Ah yes you are the demon yes? > >Dem: Yes I am the Demon Rathgarton! And your souls are mine by the >contract of the fool! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA > >TS: Ah yes one thing I need to tell you though > >Dem: SAY WHAT YOU WILL PUNY MORTAL MUHAHAHA!! > >TS: notraghtar BY THE POWER OF YOUR UNAMEING DEMON BEGONE!!!! > >Dem: NOOOOOO AHHHHHHH THE PAIN NOOOoooooooooooo (fades into nothing) > >TS: See no problems just can't let those demons push you around > >OT: Cool thanks dude! > >TS: Escalations go ahead > >OT: Got an irate please take him > >TS: sigh go for it > >Cust: NOW YOU LISTEN HERE I AM A POWER CONJURER AND I KNOW IT IS >NOTHING >I DID THE PROBLEM IS WITH YOUR SHODDY MATERIALS AND I KNOW BIG PEOPLE >IN >HIGH PLACES AND YOULL BE TURNED INTO TOADS!!! > >TS: Ma'am if you will please calm down and read me your cconjureing >formula maybe I can help you > >Cust: OH VERY WELL (long incomprehensible formula follows) > >TS: Ma'am I think I found your problem it is on the 3rd, 8th, and >21st >lines > >Cust: OH REALLY AND WHAT IS THAT MR SMARTY PANTS > >TS: Ma'am 2+2 is equal to 4 not 8 > >Cust: Why you imper- ummmmm (click) > >TS: Thank you for calling magic support

if you spit in my soda i'll steal your gum!!! NEEENER NEEENER NEEEEEEEE NERRRRR

If you pursued childsupport and he disappeared, you can get back support, however, if its in any papers that you specifically waived support, you can't get back, however you could have changed that for the future at anytime before she turned 18. If you have any records showing he denied her existance or paternity, then you may have some grounds to proceed with unknown father. You may want to check into the legalitys of name change? If she is old enough she may have the legal right to do this on her own. If there were no court declared support... as you seem to imply, he would have to prove he was trying to seek visitation and was unable to find you. If you have any records showing you kept him appraised of your whereabouts even without court documentation, then you shouldn't have to much problems in this area. Everything can be remedied... its never to late, if your worried about this. Fact is when you move, assuming you have a drivers licence, voters registration,etc...you can be found. I would think that the fault and problems lie on his side...not yours.

Antigone has threatened to take personal revenge on me for a flamewar. THIS IS WRONG!

hey lucy, you threatened to shoot me. that's a felony.

I never threatened to shoot you. I said that you were too stupid to breed. I never threatened you. I SPECIFICALLY SAID SEVERAL TIMES THAT I WOULD NOT FIRE A GUN EXCEPT IN SELF-DEFENSE!!! ANTIGONE IS STALKING ME

actually, you said something about all of us being shot before we breed. but whatever, the point is that you'll be a key witness if any of us falls victim to any anonymous crime. no big deal. i won't press charges for the assault. do hear this, and i'm not trying to threaten you or anything: spam is one thing that has irked Mark Thomas in the past. you are spamming the boards. i'm not saying Mark will do anything. Sorabji is a mysterious figure. but in the past, he has acted against spammers. who (i believe) went on to call him an anti-semite and babbled on about their first amendment rights. which is neither here nor there.

A. I said that you should be. Not that I would. I say that about people who are criminally stupid. IT IS NOT A THREAT!!! IT IS NOT LEGALLY A THREAT!!! I HAVE MADE IT CLEAR REPEATEDLY THAT IT IS NOT A THREAT!!!! CLAIMING THAT IT IS IS SLANDER OR LIBEL, DEPENDING ON MEDIUM. B. IS CYBERSTALKING AN ACCEPTABLE RESPONSE TO A FLAMEWAR? YES OR NO?

A. You clearly have a limited understanding of the criminal justice system. The critera for assault is an action that induces a fear of harm in the victim. you've established yourself as alternately INSANE and/or FUCKING INSANE in the minds of many people here. then you tell them all that they should be shot before they breed. if anyone takes you seriously, and that creates fear, they've been assaulted. and if any of us falls victim to a crime, you will definitely be investigated. "CLAIMING THAT IT IS IS SLANDER OR LIBEL, DEPENDING ON MEDIUM." first, I have to misrepresent you, which i haven't. second, i have to cause damages, which i haven't.

ps: B. IS CYBERSTALKING AN ACCEPTABLE RESPONSE TO A FLAMEWAR? YES OR NO? define "CYBERSTALKING". i'll let you know my opinion.

A. MAKING IT CLEAR THAT YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND SOMEONE B. HARASSING SOMEONE PERSONALLY ANTIGONE IS DOING THIS I AM CONTACTING A LAWYER. I DO NOT WISH TO HAVE MY LIFE RUINED BECAUSE SOME PSYCHO TOOK A FLAMEWAR TOO FAR

this is obnoxious and the CAPS are making me nauseated, i'm outta here, have nice day

"ALL OF YOU PATHETIC PSEUDOLIBERAL BULLSHIT HERD ANIMALS SHOULD BE SHOT BEFORE YOU BREED." -Lucy

Frankly people, where's the love? Who's going to feed you people when you put yourselves in the hospital? This all started out as a story about a kimono and turned into a massive hemmorage of aggression. Where is the love?!

Nate, "SHOULD", not "WILL" Makes a whole world of difference. I take Antigone's threat VERY seriously. I have confirmed that it DOES in fact constitute stalking, and have contacted a stalking victims' resource.

Kimono sounds nice Patrick - take a photo!

i live 30 miles west of antigone, lucy. if you want, i'll go shoot him for you.

I DID ALREADY!!!!! last nite the wifey and I were lounging, she had some curlers in, and i did some portraits with the both of us together, they were hilarious, and i love the kimono, it's an easy outfit to get felt up in too

Droopy, I will not sink to Antigone's level. However, you may be asked to provide information for a restraining order.

okay Patrick post some photos!!!!!!!!!!!!! We took the digital cameral to the work xmas party and got some cool shots of people. The only prob is that it takes a while to warm up (its a cheapy version) and if you knock it you have to start all over again - not for spontanity! But good for naked pics ; )

i would, i just don't have ready access to a scanner and i have yet to process them. I hope to go and develop them tomorrow....i wll share as soon as I can.

Cool. If you lived closer I would scan them for you - the joys of being a graphic artist - lots of toys to play with!

Please ignore Lucy. Her talk is all bullshit. I had a person telling others in the community that I had killed one of my patients with a morphine overdose. The patient had indeed died but not for the reasons this person was claiming. I contacted many attorneys and can tell you from experience most of them don't want these cases because under the best scenario winning is extremely difficult, actual damages very low and punitive damages rarely worth talking about. The cheapest attorney wanted 10,000-15,000 dollars up front to BEGIN legal proceedings----with no guarantee of ever making it to court. Lucy is doing nothing more than lying and threatening others in order to get her way. She is a JOKE, ignore her. Anyway, MERRY CHRISTMAS....LOVE TO EVERYONE!!!

...and you took first prize for being an "AntiChrist".