So I had an awesome yet ridiculous experience over the weekend. I went to this party at a friend of a friend's house and I went on my own really. I figured I could meet some new people or what not. It was a big party and I only knew about 6 people there so, anyway, I met this really eccentric guy, Dave. We first met as he was making fabulous martinis in the kitchen with a sign on his back that he had obviously swiped from a store indicating what credit cards he accepted and I thought he was cute so I was chatting to him a bit, then we parted, you know how parties are. Anyway a few hours later I came into the kitchen and he was sitting there by the back door to the bathroom (it came off the kitchen but that side was locked so you had to go in the other entrance off a hallway) and I said 'So what's going on in here?' and he said 'I'm listening to people pee' and the other guy says 'It's fun to try to figure out who it is.' Well I immediately responded with 'You're my kind of people.' and I sat down. He and I then chatted about Penn and Teller, party drink serving ideas involving enema bulbs and how people who hover and pee on the seat are part of the problem not the solution. He was very funny and eccentric and the conversation never lagged and we got all of each other's stupid jokes. Anyway, eventually he's like 'I need to have a smoke, come downstairs with me?' and I'm like 'OK' but when we get downstairs to the garage they are playing KC and the Sunshine Band and he starts dancing very goofily, kind of better than most straight boys but worse than many gay men, and I'm still wondering 'Gay, not gay?'. But after that conversation pretty much dies off. So finally, it's now 3AM but really 4AM so I decide to call a cab and go home. But when I come downstairs he's like 'where are you going? You can't go home, come to a disco dancing party with me!' After much skepticism I decide it will be a better thing to go with him than not to and wonder what would have happened if I did so I wind up taking a cab with a virtual stranger to a party across town where there are about 10 people falling asleep on sofas and a guy mixing records on a real DJ 3 turntable setup in the living room. What really strikes me funny is when we arrive everyone there thinks I am his date or a friend of his, but of course I'm not, I don't know anyone at all really. But we kind of fall into date behavior, him getting me drinks and making jokes about people in the room to each other so now I suddenly feel like I'm on a date with this guy. But still nothing happens, even when we stand around on the porch alone making really really idle time filling chit chat at 5AM. Finally the sun comes up at 6 and I'm now shaking because I'm so tired so I really have to go so he calls us 2 cabs and we say our goodbyes to the people there (our hostess 'Oh you've got to come to my next party! It's been so nice meeting you!') and we sit on the front stoop and I say 'well this has been really odd' and the cabs pull up and I kiss him on the cheek but I can feel he's going for the lips - whoops - so I give him my # and tell him to call me then we kiss on the mouth, not long, but not a peck and then we both get in our cabs and that is the last I saw of him. I know where he works, a store about 400 feet from where I work and he told me to come see him but I feel like if I do I'll blow it, that I should wait for him to call now. I hate coutship rituals. And what if he don't call? Well that would just suck. Though at least I've had a kooky night to remember. I guess I'm still just sitting here wondering if it really happened at all and if it was a date or what? Does it sound like a date to anyone else? Do I really have to wait?

If you met him at a party it was not a date, it was a modified 'hook-up.' If you don't hear from him by Wednesday then wander by where he works, but be diffident.

How can I at once appear at his job and be diffident (is that the same as indifferent?)?

Diffident is uncommitted, which is not the same thing as indifferent. Could you be interested in purchasing anything at the store in which he toils? You could just sweep in and say 'man, I had a great time the other night and I just had to thank you. I have been laughing at odd times and people think I'm nuts!' but DON'T mention calling him/having him call you. My guess? Recent break-up and uncertainty about the course of the future on his part.

What kind of place does he work for? Isn,t there something you need to buy there?

At a photo store, which is going out of business, so actually I could be there for the going out of business sale. It is totally hokey tho. I was gonna show up and ask him if they ever let him out, go for lunch or post werk drinx, no? It's only been 1 1/2 days since I saw him so I don't think it's too weird not to get the call. I mean, I last saw him at 6AM Sunday. I would actually say that the host of party #1 seemed a bit keen on setting us up in a way (alluded 'oh we should have a bowling party soon, I could bring Dave, oh he's a funny guy') and the hostess of party #2 and her beau left the porch when we came out to smoke. I wish everything wasn't always such a big fucking deal. I hate game playing, why does it have to be so necessary or else you scare people off?

if people were more honest about what they want or need in the beginning then we could move a lot faster, but you would probably see a rise in marriage rates and divorce rates......if people didn't play games that is. to a cerain extent, we put up a facade and play games to make ourselves more appealing, slowly but surly that facade gets peeled away......the reason you are asking us is because you are scared of scaring him off. I think you should go right over, make your intentions clear after some small chit chat and a purchase....and be done with it. Life is too short to sit here and dwell endlessly over this stuff. Just tell him, you had a great time and you would like to get together again. Tell him to give you a call. Balls in his court, and then let it go if he doesn't call.

As usual, Patrick, you're right and I thank you 1 million. I was just about to follow your advice but destiny itself had a hand in this too - who woulda thunk it? I went out of my building to fetch lunch and who is standing 10 feet away from my path having a smoke break? Oh ya. He looked way more geeky than I remember, but he's in work clothes, what to do? Besides, geeky is good by me. He says 'I was just standing here thinking 'I bet she's gonna walk right by here' then tells me to come back to his store w/ him and I sort of stand around mostly while he works and while an older man who works there keeps hassling me about even knowing Dave and how insane he is and then alternately selling me on him 'No, I kid,he's really an excellent person, just the greatest,...' it was wacky, like this old guy was trying to sell me on dating him - ha! I was about to go for lunch but it started raining really heavy so Dave gave me an umbrella and I left and walked around a bit then came back and I said 'well you aughta call me sometime if you're going to lunch or when you get off' and he axed for my werk # and gave me his h&w #'s. And in the middle of this he had to do work and the old guy is saying to me 'well I hate to tear him away, I remember what it was like when I was dating...' Hah! So now I'm not all tied up in knots anymore and I think he still digs me since wherever I was in the store he kept looking at me and mostly what he did the entire time I was there was interact through nervous laughter while I tried to keep really cool talking to his coworker. It was awesome! I was doing so well on avoiding boys too, ah well, even Rome had to fall.

yeah but if only i didn't practice situational ethics.

So have you guys noticed how I stopped talking about Ishmael all the time? Huh? huh? Have you? That's pretty good, huh? right?

you just did, silly

I just wanted someone to notice, and no one was, so I figured you all needed nudging.

so what's up with ishmael?

Aside: I had a most embarrassing Daylight Savings adventure the other day. The time changed a week earlier over here, so I went to call someone in the States at what I thought was 6am (A very reasonabe time for her), but...it was 5. Whoops. She was most unhappy with me. Aside over. What is up with Ishmael?

he's getting a new roomate. it's a girl he used to go out with "for about two seconds" (his words). He's still a little attracted to her and he thinks she's still attracted to him. They have very passionate disagreements. I told him I thought it was a mistake and I was concerned for him. He called me "mom". I still think he's swell. knowing this helps because even if he was interested in me, I would be insanely jealous over his situation with the ex. I couldn't handle it. thanks for asking!

maybe they will fight a lot and you can console him

righhhht......"console".....(wink wink nudge nudge)

I"m counting the reasons why we would never work. it's helping! on a side note, the boy I made out with told me my boobs were "quite nice". isn't that sweet?