just been sucked into the stalking post archives. had to share this one. By Droopy on Friday, May 21, 1999 - 04:42 pm: A modest proposal After reading these web pages for the past month I think I've hit upon a solution to two of the world's most pressing problems, which are in this order: 1.Obesity in North America 2.world starvation To be fat in N.A. is a terrible tragedy. Every day another fat person goes without a date, must wrestle in existential agony over eating a Twinkie, or endure a host of other travails too hideous to mention. After seeing many personal testimonies and posted URLs of facts, studies and statistics, I have come to the hitherto unknown (to me) conclusion that if you are fat no one will ever love or accept you. World starvation is this thing where a bunch of foreigners don't get enough to eat. I propose this solution: If you are fat, think you are fat or are just obsessed about eventually being fat, I will personally slaughter you, prepare you in the manner of your choice (smoked, cured, honey-baked, etc.) and send you as food to a needy country. If you would like to help your fellow man and lose weight in just one meal, please write me at: PROJECT EAT AMERICAN 36 Makeyerfatassuseful Blvd. Theywannagnawyourbones, Pa. 88888 "Be a burger in Botswana" By Nate on Friday, May 21, 1999 - 04:49 pm: i have never been so offended. By Swine on Friday, May 21, 1999 - 04:54 pm: god damn that was funny. made me choke on my blackened catfish. bastard. So anyway, I got to thinking while skimming: Why has the conversations here at sorabji been stuck in the shallow end of the pool lately? We used to get into this gret discussions/debates/shitslingfestivals, and it was fun! I think that a lot of great wit comes out of those things. I think we need more posts on what do you think about this or that. Like, a year ago, there would have been a huge thread going on the whole Elian Gonzalez debacle (had it happened then), but nothing so far now. ( i mean since the whole incident on Saturday of course) I just am not finding this place to be as intellectually stimulating as it used to be. Why are we all slacking off?

fuck you, you ass (smirk) sorry, sem, i am entirely unable to comprehend politics. but i'll be more than happy to fight about something else.

Shallow end? That would be because lots of us don't have the energy to fight with people we sort of consider our friends, and also because we'd rather laugh. See, I loced Das Boot and the Killing Fields, thought they were brilliant and recommend them to everyone. But I'd rather watch Life of Brian.

We all agree with each other too much now. Either that, or we've gotten comfortable in our differences. We don't hate each other enough. So, should I stir things up? OK. I'm really a woman. I've been pretending to be a man this whole time. Well, that probably won't stir things up that much. I just wanted to get it off my chest.

my guitar wants to kill your mama.

your guitar is gonna have to talk to me first, asshole. i own that mom.

oh yeah, fools.

the cage is dusty

the monkeys are fat

eat (fat) hot fuck

Well it sure has been a while... for me at least. I have been MIA for how many months now? I'm sure no one has been keeping track or even cared... But anyway, I'm back! I have not been posting b/c I have been so tired. I have been so tired b/c I am pregnant! I'm 5 and a half months pregnant now, so I guess it has been at least that, that I have been missing. My husband and I are all excited and everything. I was really sick for the first three months, but now things are beginning to get back to normal (other than my huge belly). I've missed you all so much! Sad as that may be, it's true. I wasn't sure if I was ever going to be able to get my ass out of bed and get on the computer again. I've been working though, so I guess I haven't really been in bed the whole time. I'm working at for a CPA, so during February, March and April things got pretty hectic. I was logging 20 hours of overtime a week at least. It was awful. Especially being as exhausted as I was from just being pregnant. Thank God it's over now. The only problem with that is now I don't have anything to do! I am so bored! My boss just left for Thailand (yeah, I work my ass off and he gets the 3 week vacation) this week, but he changed the password on the server, so I can't get on the internet. It sucks. I could be spending all day sitting on my ass and typing instead of just sitting on my ass and doing nothing. Oh well. I probably wouldn't get to stay online all day anyway, my boss still uses dial-up and that shit can get expensive. So, does anyone even remember me? Anyone miss me? Yeah, I'm sure you are all just tickled pink that I am back. I have to go to work, but I hope to be chatting with you all soon.

Hi Pamela. We remember you. Congrats on the baby, maybe you can catch up on some reading at work.

What this board needs is *god forbid* Oatmeal Boy. What ever happened to that jug-eared racist? Jail, I would think. He would have stirred things up reeeeel good. Not an intelligent thought in his poor feeble brain but still....I don't think I can recall anyone as divisive as he was.

I remember you Pamala,glad to hear you are still around,I thought Nate might have pissed you off when he told you it,s not too late for an abortion.LOL As for Oatmeal Boy,there are many racist like him at the fight room at yahoo chat.In fact that,s all they do there,yesterday I listened to a very nice black man get into it with a creepy redneck,next thing I knew they were calling each other faggots.I stood up for the gays and next thing I know,everyone was calling me a carpet muncher.I didn,t back down.

LOL, oh J, I have missed you lots! You always know how to put a smile on my face. Nate didn't piss me off, in fact I didn't even read his "not too late to get an abortion" comment, so you'll have to let me know which string thats on. I don't think Nate could ever piss me off, possibly scare me, but not piss me off. He's too funny. I miss talking with him too. And Patrick as well. Hell, I miss ALL of you! I am pretty big right now. The baby is moving around so much. It is such a weird feeling. I am terrified of going through labor though. I am a wimp, what can I say. I am getting an epidural no matter what! By the way, where are you FetidBeaver? Maybe you can get me some good painkillers for after the birth of my baby... hmmm... Have you moved out of Iowa yet? I hope so! I have to go pee, I'll be back later. Ciao!

Fetidbeaver hasn,t been around much,he is going through some really bad work related trouble.We all miss him and hope he is okay. I had a epidural when I had my first,I didn,t want it and put up a fight but they held me down and gave me one anyway.If you do get one for the love of God don,t raise your head for at least,12 or 24 hours after you have one,nobody bothered to tell me this when I had one,and I had a constent crippling painful headache that lasted days.Talk to your doctor about that.

Okay, that is good to know. I am switching doctors on Monday and hopefully she will be good. The one I had before was a crack whore who didn't know anything. If it wasn't for my damn medical insurance, I wouldn't have stayed with her for so long. I am going to try and give birth naturally (you know, without any drugs), but I don't think I will be able to make it. I really am a wimp when it comes to pain.

Pam...do you know what sex you are having? Have you looked into LaMaze classes?

I saw something on 20/20 (or 48 Hours or 60 Minutes) on women putting themselves into a form of hypnosis and actually walking around the hospital during labor (and without any other form of painkillers). Not sure what state this was in but it looked amazing. One woman who was trying it for the first time was doing so because her labor for her first child was such a horrible experience for her (many many hours). It really did look amazing - even to a guy.

We don't know the sex of the baby and we actually want to keep it a surprise. I finally switched doctors and my new one is great! She can actually answer questions! She told me that I should start taking lamaze classes near the end of the 7th or in the 8th month. It's starting to get hot. I hope I am able to survive this summer. I'm not used to this city and it's incredible heat. I'm just a Bay Area baby used to the mild summers. This is definately going to be a crazy summer. I wish I would have seen that show you were talking about PetRock, but I didn't. I know that if you're not too dialated, the doctors want you to walk around the hospital to encourage the baby to come out or something like that. I am getting scared of the after effects of pregnancy more than anything now. I was reading this book called "The New Mothers Handbook" and it was explaining the difficulties of having to go to the bathroom after giving birth. It gave me nightmares.

Bad nightmares.

you will have accidents. i think they call them mudslides.