I just took the Personality test at thespark.com, and this is what it said about me (suprising!) ACCOUNTANT (Submissive Introvert Concrete Thinker ) Andrew Sewell Like just 7% of the population you are an ACCOUNTANT (SICT)--reserved, meticulous, and dependable. While being called an accountant isn't really that cool, neither are you. You aren't exactly the life of the party, but you do have fun, and the people close to you really do love you. There are basically two kinds of accountants, and you most likely fit into one of the two categories: male female Seriously: accountants are good at whatever they do. They can always be trusted, especially by their friends. They almost never cheat or steal. (Some real-life accountants do, however, they are probably Judges (DICT)). You probably have a wonderful relationship with your family. Well, suprising but eeirily accurate.

Well here's mine...it was kinda suprising cause it's the first time that I've ever come up as an introvert on any test. Maybe I need to get out more: "Like just 2% of the population you are an ARTIST (DIAF)--creative, adventurous, and deep. Although you are an introvert, your dominant ideas lead you to assert yourself often--especially through your work. You actively put your creativity to constructive use, and because you are ruled by your heart you are less likely to be inhibited by logic. You have an intuitive understanding of emotion and know how evoke it in others, but the real world can be a prison of foolishness and embarrassment if you don't get your head out of the clouds a little more. Also, you are 87% likely to write poetry. Please, for the love of God, stop now." I think someone told them about my fledgling poetry efforts and when I find out who you are, there's going to be tears...(that's the dominatrix in me coming out!)

MASTERMIND (Submissive Introvert Abstract Thinker ) Ben Tobin Like just 9% of the population you are a MASTERMIND (SIAT). You can be silent and withdrawn, but behind your reserved exterior lies an active mind that allows you to analyze situations and come up with creative, unexpected solutions. Normal people call this "scheming." Don't learn German. Anyway, your sense of style and originality are your strengths, and people will respect your judgment once they get to know you. If you learn to be a little more personable, you could be a great leader--you've definitely got the "vision" thing down. Just make sure all the plotting you do behind those eyes of yours is healthy. Famous masterminds in television: Dr. Claw, The Scarecrow and Mrs. King, Montgomery Burns.

Crimson and I both took the test. I came up as an accountant. Here are Crimson's results, which she says are somewhat accurate, minus the part about liking to create problems: EXPERIMENTER (Dominant Introvert Abstract Thinker ) Like just 3% of the population you are an EXPERIMENTER (DIAT). Although you're slightly shy (admit it!), you love control. When a problem comes in your way, you stomp on it swiftly and decisively. You are bothered easily by failure in others and failure in yourself. You don't like people that you don't think are intelligent. Rather than arguing with them, however, you would just as soon ignore them altogether. In relationships, you have a strong heart. And because you're introverted, people take you as someone they can trust. But the fact is that in addition to solving problems, you like to create them. So there's a decent chance that you'll cheat on a loved one. If you do, you'll likely get away with it. You're a good person at heart, but then again, who isn't?

I'm also an accountant.

EXPERIMENTER (Dominant Introvert Abstract Thinker ) and pissed.

AVOIDER (Of Any Form Of Self-Knowledge) and happy

HELPER WHO FINDS MISSING CHILDREN OVER THE INTERNET (Submissive Introvert Concrete Feeler ) Jeez, and I thought I was going to leave publishing and get into web design.. Guess I should add *not self-aware* in there as well.

GURU (Submissive Extrovert Abstract Feeler ) Pez Like just 15% of the population you are a GURU (SEAF)--kind, knowing, giving. Like Buddha of old, you can be a persuasive speaker, and you use your creative talents to further the objectives of your heart instead of your mind. But be careful that your friends don't take advantage of your relaxed nature, that's what happened to Jesus. Above all, you like going with the flow. And there is probably nothing in the world you haven't smoked. That's cool. Oh yeah, you like to talk a lot. That's cool, too. Whatever.

Sem, apparently I'm 100% compatible with one of your buddies. Mike sumpin. Tell him I've got the frock, just tell me the date and the place.

mentor. i am a mentor. i am 57% compatible with the llama.

Mentor, also. Too lazy to go hunt down all of your email addresses at the moment. Hrm. I am only 79% compatible with Isolde. ***** You are a MENTOR (SEAT). Some would call you the most powerful and influential of all people. Those people are wrong. The reality is that you DON'T really WANT to impose personal views or beliefs on others. Yet you are extroverted and intelligent, and you like to get involved. So you help others with the pursuit of knowledge. You're the reason that people say teachers are also students. You are as much a learner as a master, and this satisfies you. You won't die a lonely death, but towards the end you'll grow introspective, wondering if your life meant anything. This will last for decades, and you'll die after your spouse. sounds pretty much right on. except for not dying a lonely death. I hope to die alone. in the rain. with Tom Waits playing in the background.

Like just 13% of the population you are a DREAMER (SIAF)--reserved and imaginative. You are basically the shy, silent type. You don't have much interest in facts and figures or most of what's going on around you, but the internal worlds you build for yourself are rich and complex. Luckily, your creativity and strong heart mean you have a deep personality evident to anyone who gets to know you. It's just that not many people do, because most everyone thinks you're a loser. Talk to yourself less, other people more, little shaver. i'm a loser? i never thought that people thought this of me. fuck.

mastermind. tests with a/b questions are bullshit. fight the muhfuckin' power, nitz.

Muthafuckin' experimenterand proud of it. Eat me.

POLITICIAN (Dominant Extrovert Abstract Thinker ) Patrick (they had a picture of a guy with one leg in a suit) ???????? Like just 4% of the population you are a POLITICIAN (DEAT)--forceful, outgoing, and forward-looking. You are strong-willed and extroverted, so you enjoy interacting with other people. You aggressively pursue your goals. Your creative style of thinking allows you to come up with unusual arguments and original ideas that appeal to others, but behind it all is an analytical mind that never forgets the bottom line. While some might see you as manipulative, your close friends know you are a talented person who deserves the best in life. Whatever. You *are* manipulative. Whether you use your power for "good" or "bad", it's up to you. If you're confused what good or bad means, ask a HEALER. Like EXPERIMENTERS, you have a propensity for cheating.

SHIT, I got dreamer to... Well hell, I guess now that I'm a loser I have to do loser things... Fuck

I'm a G.U.R.U

I did the sex test on there too (what can I say, I was bored!). Apparently I'm going to make some 19 year old American girl called "Handstandnopanties" very happy. We have a 97% compatibility rating. Given that I'm straight, I was at least hoping for a man (sigh).

fuck!!! cat you're straight? i was about to turn on the old charm. fuck fuck fuck. i am glad you said something... actually, i'm contemplating for the first time asking a woman out. i met her at the bookstore the other day. she was cute and i thought she was flirting. i feel like exploring my bisexual tendencies. it's horrid that i fear her reaction if she is straight and is repulsed by my assumption. who knows.

Go for it. There's this girl I saw the other day that looked so hot, I almost went for it. But Antithesis was there. He woulda kicked my hiney all the way to Mars(and then steal my girl).

Well if things don't work out with Ms "Handstandnopanties", I'll be sure to look you up Bell. Unless you were just toying with my fragile heart, in which case I'll have to stalk you with withered roses and bad poetry.

DUDE! NO! she's not worth it... for God's sake... THINK ABOUT THIS. this girl. Arg. we'll call this friend of ours "thebigwannabefromhell," to protect her anonymity. I swear, Issy, I was only protecting you. NOBODY ought to go there. Of course, if you really want to, you know the rules. Videotape the whole thing, and you have to okay one dalliance for me. I think I like this deal, actually. Even if T. is nasty.

Issy? ISSY? _ISSY_? _*ISSY*_?! %#$#^@$^##!$^ISSY^$!##^$@^#$#%???!?!?!?!?!?!? issy? What the fuck? Do you want me to come over there and kick your ass? A. DON'T _EVER_ _EVER_ _EVER_! call me "Issy." B. No, not the orgy girl. Another girl. Who was _actually_ hot. Who I would _actually_ jump in a red-hot Louisiana minute. And remind me that we need to get it on in orgy-girl's bed. After all, everyone else has. We need to keep tradition.

A: issy wissy was a bear? Issy wissy wasn't fair. Issy wissy wasn't very issy, was she? b: blah. and you know it. In fact, I don't even know why you brought it up. Here, of all places. in fact, that reminds me of a story, the moral of which has something to do with indiscretion. It goes sorta like thi.... OOOOH! BEER! nevermind the story, kids. come back next week.

this is just getting good. I hafta wait until next week?

i have this hottie red head of a friend, with two large german shepards that respond in german, who bluntly told me she wanted to fuck me and my wife. she actually told this to me at a party a month or so ago, and it was'nt aoncversation in the passing, it was a fairly sober: her: "so has nico every been with another girl?" me: "pffffft of course (as nico runs by with chasing this girl and guy with a squirt gun, aiming for her tits and his weiner), look at her, you think she hasnt been to the dark side. her: "well you know i'd thought i'd ask" me: "why?" her: "grinning, well, i've only been with another girl once before, we were all coked up and it was kinda hazy, i'd like to do it again, and i find you and nico vey attractive.....sexy" me: "well...............(sluggin the res of my jack and coke) i think that might be a good time...... conversation continues with reaccounts of personal incidents. i saw her again this weekend and she subtly reiterated what she had said before. when i orginally relayed to the mrs. what she had told me, her eyes got big and a smile formed. this friend wants us to come out to her house in the canyon and "shoot pics of her and her dogs for keepsake" ....yeah, sure, i wont forget the polaroid either honey......

me toy with you miss cat? well... maybe it was a bit of a tease, but who knows... i've never been with a woman before, would you mind my inexperience?

Patrick, I'd find out what she "does" with those dogs before you mess with her.

I_solde_ isn't very fair, especially when it comes to making diminutives of her name.

oh J, the on guard mom i never had.... sweets, they are her protection, her joy, her love,......she is an attractive advertsing rep for a major radio station.....as you know they don't hire ugly ad sales girls, its a fact. I think she may have even been raped before so they are maily for protection. she actually sent one of her pups to Germany to be trained. The pooch can kill you with one command, they are actually pretty damn amazing, as they are the sweetest killers.........

She sent her dog to Germany to be trained? That's awesome! It's kind of wierd that the dogs are trained in German, though. It would be really eerie to be sitting somewhere and hear some woman screaming at her dogs in German. "Sitzen!"

its pretty cool, she is actually very subtle, they respond to her instantly.......

Always good to have them well trained? Is it kind of like dressage for dogs, or what? Does she just wave her left pinky and the dog executes a piroutte, or...?

ooo like on Magnum? where Higgens could get them to do stuff by moving his hands...

oh my GOD Magnum! how ironic. I've been thinking that sentance for the past couple of hours. you're my psychic buddy, Moonit.

ACTIVIST (Dominant Extrovert Concrete Feeler ) Alex Hakkinen Like just 3% of the population you are an ACTIVIST (DECF)-- motivated and righteous, you feel the need to change this harsh, horrible world we live in. The world would be your oyster, if you weren't 27% likely to be vegetarian. Anyway, you are forceful and outgoing, so you enjoy interacting with other people and are willing to aggressively pursue your goals. If you are male, you are probably thin and lanky, just because that's what activists look like. If you are female, you probably wear thick-rimmed glasses and tight clothes *or* some kind of hippie outfit. Also, sometimes you have trouble with orgasms, since you have trouble losing control. In more general terms, you are driven much more by emotion than logic. But because of your ideals, you are more interested in real-world results than abstract conclusions. Advice from us: Make sure you listen to your opposition. Don't hasten to attack different ideologies. This will also help your relationship with your friends. HA! Well, right about the thin and lanky... I'm not motivated to do much except create art. I don't really care too much about anything else at all to want to change the world. Maybe later, if I get out of this shithole...but until then, well...it's just simmering. I'm not outgoing. And the forceful...hmm...not really. Whatever. I take it again in a week. And my results will be completely different.

Zephyr, you are finnish, huh? Any relatives in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan? Finns drink harder than any other nationality I have gotten wasted with.

i hear the sapre room calling my name today. a watered-down baby aspirin wannabe of a harvey wallbanger...that's what i want

Ok. I have finally compiled a list of the 16 human personalities according to the spark: 1. Experimenter Dominant Introverted Abstract Thinker ) You are an EXPERIMENTER (DIAT). Although you're slightly shy (admit it!), you love control. When a problem comes in your way, you stomp on it swiftly and decisively. You are bothered easily by failure in others and failure in yourself. You don't like people that you don't think are intelligent. Rather than arguing with them, however, you would just as soon ignore them altogether. In relationships, you have a strong heart. And because you're introverted, people take you as someone they can trust. But the fact is that in addition to solving problems, you like to create them. So there's a decent chance that you'll cheat on a loved one. If you do, you'll likely get away with it. You're a good person at heart, but then again, who isn't? 2. Mastermind ( Submissive Introverted Abstract Thinker ) You are a MASTERMIND (SIAT). You can be silent and withdrawn, but behind your reserved exterior lies an active mind that allows you to analyze situations and come up with creative, unexpected solutions. Normal people call this “scheming.” Don’t learn German. Anyway, your sense of style and originality are your strengths, and people will respect your judgment once they get to know you. If you learn to be a little more personable, you could be a great leader--you’ve definitely got the “vision” thing down. Just make sure all the plotting you do behind those eyes of yours is healthy. Famous masterminds in television: Dr. Claw, The Scarecrow and Mrs. King, and Montgomery Burns. 3. Guru ( Submissive Extroverted Abstract Feeler ) You are a GURU (SEAF)--kind, knowing, giving. Like Buddha of old, you can be a persuasive speaker, and you use your creative talents to further the objectives of your heart instead of your mind. But be careful that your friends don't take advantage of your relaxed nature, that’s what happened to Jesus. Above all, you like going with the flow. And there is probably nothing in the world you haven’t smoked. That’s cool. Oh yeah, you like to talk a lot. That's cool, too. Whatever. 4. Dreamer ( Submissive Introverted Abstract Feeler ) You are a DREAMER (SIAF)--reserved and imaginative. You are basically the shy, silent type. You don't have much interest in facts and figures or most of what’s going on around you, but the internal worlds you build for yourself are rich and complex. Luckily, your creativity and strong heart mean you have a deep personality evident to anyone who gets to know you. It's just that not many people do, because most everyone thinks you’re a loser. Talk to yourself less, other people more, little shaver. 5. Mentor ( Submissive Extroverted Abstract Thinker ) You are a MENTOR (SEAT). Some would call you the most powerful and influential of all people. Those people are wrong. The reality is that you DON'T really WANT to impose personal views or beliefs on others. Yet you are extroverted and intelligent, and you like to get involved. So you help others with the pursuit of knowledge. You're the reason that people say teachers are also students. You are as much a learner as a master, and this satisfies you. You won't die a lonely death, but towards the end you'll grow introspective, wondering if your life meant anything. This will last for decades, and you'll die after your spouse. 6. Politician ( Dominant Extroverted Abstract Thinker ) You are a POLITICIAN (DEAT)--forceful, outgoing, and forward-looking. You are strong-willed and extroverted, so you enjoy interacting with other people. You aggressively pursue your goals. Your creative style of thinking allows you to come up with unusual arguments and original ideas that appeal to others, but behind it all is an analytical mind that never forgets the bottom line. While some might see you as manipulative, your close friends know you are a talented person who deserves the best in life. Whatever. You *are* manipulative. Whether you use your power for 'good' or 'bad', it's up to you. If you're confused what good or bad means, ask a HEALER. Like EXPERIMENTERS, you have a propensity for cheating. 7. Activist ( Dominant Extroverted Concrete Feeler ) You are an ACTIVIST (DECF)-- motivated and righteous, you feel the need to change this harsh, horrible world we live in. The world would be your oyster, if you weren't 27% likely to be vegetarian. Anyway, you are forceful and outgoing, so you enjoy interacting with other people and are willing to aggressively pursue your goals. If you are male, you are probably thin and lanky, just because that's what activists look like. If you are female, you probably wear thick-rimmed glasses and tight clothes *or* some kind of hippie outfit. Also, sometimes you have trouble with orgasms, since you have trouble losing control. In more general terms, you are driven much more by emotion than logic. But because of your ideals, you are more interested in real-world results than abstract conclusions. Advice from us: Make sure you listen to your opposition. Don't hasten to attack different ideologies. This will also help your relationship with your friends. 8. Accountant ( Submissive Introverted Concrete Thinker ) You are an ACCOUNTANT (SICT)--reserved, meticulous, and dependable. While being called an accountant isn't really that cool, neither are you. You aren't exactly the life of the party, but you do have fun, and the people close to you really do love you. There are basically two kinds of accountants, and you most likely fit into one of the two categories: male female Seriously: accountants are good at whatever they do. They can always be trusted, especially by their friends. They almost never cheat or steal. (Some real-life accountants do, however, they are probably Judges (DICT)). You probably have a wonderful relationship with your family. 9. Prober ( Dominant Introverted Concrete Feeler ) You are a PROBER (DICF)--curious, passionate, driven, and probing. You’re the kind of person who can’t leave well enough alone. You have a very strong personality and a sense of adventure. And you’d rather go out and experience things for yourself than take someone else’s word for it. Some people probably think you’re a maniac. People have a hard time believing you're an intelligent person. Perhaps there's a reason for this? Time will tell. 10. Administrator ( Submissive Extroverted Concrete Thinker ) You are an ADMINISTRATOR (SECT)--detail-oriented and organized. You’re an extrovert, but you lack the over-aggressive tendencies of obnoxious “go-getters.” Very nice. However, you probably like getting up in other people's business--living through them a little... dude, sometimes you just gotta let it ride. Don't be such a busy-body. Anyway, you're an excellent manager, of both yourself and other people. That's because you prefer thinking concretely rather than creatively, and you'd rather follow what your mind tells you than your heart--people respect this, but it can make them mad when their appeals to love and kindness fall on deaf, deaf ears. Try to have a heart sometimes. 11. H.W.F.M.C.O.T.I. ( Submissive Introverted Concrete Feeler ) You are a HELPER WHO FINDS MISSING CHILDREN OVER THE INTERNET (SICF). You are very tentative in the world and introverted with people--which means you are the shy and silent type. Hence the Internet. But behind your reserved exterior lies a dedicated person with a passion for the concrete truth who wants to, in his heart of hearts, help find missing children. God bless you. 12. Performer ( Dominant Extroverted Abstract Feeler ) You are a PERFORMER (DEAF)--personable, self-assured, and excellent under pressure. You are extroverted and strong-willed, which, in combination means you are good with people and aren't willing to let opportunity pass you by. Congratulations. I’m sure all the peons you’ve stepped on never saw it coming and didn’t feel a thing. You like being naked. Anyhow, you have formidable creative talents, and you often following what your heart tells you instead of your logical mind. Your exuberance can earn you many friends and admirers, despite your ambition, or it can intimidate the less confident into keeping their distance. It’s also possible you’re Madonna. 13. Healer ( Submissive Extroverted Concrete Feeler ) You are a HEALER (SECF)-- caring, good with people, and patient. You are completely selfless and full of love. As a concrete feeler, you do well with your emotions, which are very strong. You understand and appreciate *why* you feel the way you do, and for the most part you're at peace with yourself. Suffering in the world really pisses you off. In relationships, it's easy for you to get hurt. Avoid all kinds of dominant (D***) people, *especially* in dating or marriage. You are a motherly figure, even if you're a guy. If you're a girl, make sure you're a mom some day. The world's children need people like you. If you're a guy, don't even think about it. Most pedophiles are HEALERS. On the rare occasions when you try to assert yourself, you're cute and awkward, but highly effective. 14. Artist ( Dominant Introverted Abstract Feeler ) You are an ARTIST (DIAF)--creative, adventurous, and deep. Although you are an introvert, your dominant ideas lead you to assert yourself often--especially through your work. You actively put your creativity to constructive use, and because you are ruled by your heart you are less likely to be inhibited by logic. You have an intuitive understanding of emotion and know how evoke it in others, but the real world can be a prison of foolishness and embarrassment if you don’t get your head out of the clouds a little more. Also, you are 87% likely to write poetry. Please, for the love of God, stop now. 15. Judge ( Dominant Introverted Concrete Thinker ) You are a JUDGE (DICT). Your affinity for facts and analytical approach to life help you some complex problems and make tough decisions that others cannot. But don’t think you don’t act like a bitch a lot of the time. You jump into arguments and hold grudges like crazy. Try jumping into the sack and holding buttocks, instead. You could probably use some love. While some may see you as a bit overbearing and arrogant, your friends know that you are a trustworthy person with depth and a strong sense of righteousness. Although you are introverted and somewhat reserved, you have a forceful personality that your friends appreciate and your enemies fear. God help them. God help all of us. 16. Businessman ( Dominant Extroverted Concrete Thinker ) You are a BUSINESSMAN (DECT). Hide the children and protect the bunnies, basically. In ancient times you would be a deadly barbarian. These days, you're perfect for Wall Street. You prefer concrete thinking to a more creative style, and your direct modes of thought and action help you succeed in whatever you may try to accomplish. Your forceful and outgoing personality can make you seem like a hothead, but because your mind ultimately rules your heart you rarely let your emotions get in the way of your goals. By the way, think of Genghis Kahn buying seven million pork bellies on the trading market, and then eating half of them, and you have yourself. Good luck. Where do you fit in?

Sem, how'd you know I was Finnish? No, I don't have any relatives in upper michigan or surrounding areas...yet. (there's a possibility of that happening in the next decade or so, by means of inlaws...but that's another story, for another time) I don't drink, but I wouldn't be suprised about your friends. I never will drink, either. Think, Irish AND Finnish and a hatred for alcoholic beverages...that just doesn't happen!

you want drinkers? there's a whole clan of norweigians here in oregon. the only ones that don't drink are me and my sister. my dad makes wine sometimes. i don't have anything against it, i even stomped grapes once. my great grandpa peder made beer in the basement and gave it to the mailman (during the prohibition). i only use alcohol for cooking, and only in a recipe.

Zephyr- I was pretty sure that with a last name like Hakkinen, you weren't Korean. In my hometown, all the streets downwtown are in Finnish and English. There are more Makis than smiths in our phone book. Also Koskinens, Tuiskus, Heinonens, Olsons, Neimis, Turpinens...you get the idea. Sarah, i forget, I know I've asked, but are you Finnish? For the record, I am not.

I was going to tell some Eino and Turvo jokes, but I can't remember any.