Random


sorabji.com: The Stalking Post: Random
THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).

By Z on Sunday, November 5, 2000 - 04:13 pm:

    Another word game, like word association, only quite a bit more random.

    just post a random word or phrase. and go from there.

    Here Goes!

    "...And the Merry-Go-Round went down..."


By Antigone on Sunday, November 5, 2000 - 11:02 pm:

    "...my skin lovin'..."


By Cat on Monday, November 6, 2000 - 12:31 am:

    A tubful of buttfucking grandmothers


By Antigone on Monday, November 6, 2000 - 12:41 am:

    ...are about as useful as a truckload of dead rats in a tampon factory...


By Cat on Monday, November 6, 2000 - 01:08 am:

    ...and as savoury as a whorehouse full of used neon condoms


By Z on Monday, November 6, 2000 - 02:18 am:

    or as anti-climatic as cthulhu and his grand minions of demons making an assault on the bordello of rich spoiled bitchy white prep girls


By Tom on Monday, November 6, 2000 - 03:55 am:

    which, while surely exciting, simply doesn't have the Neilsen ratings pull of, say...


By Isolde on Monday, November 6, 2000 - 08:32 am:

    the screaming school girls attempted to flee from cthulu's clutches and ran smack into a large steamroller


By M on Monday, November 6, 2000 - 08:54 am:

    three hours later the gelatin will be hard and your feet will be smelly


By Antigone on Monday, November 6, 2000 - 10:26 am:

    My God, it's full of stars!


By semillama on Monday, November 6, 2000 - 10:29 am:

    Sarah McLaughlin fingered herself frantically.


By Pilate on Monday, November 6, 2000 - 10:46 am:

    And Cthulhu momentarily looks up from his bowl of cornflakes when CNN announces that Earth will be invaded at approximately 4:00 P.M. Eastern Time by hormone crazed leather-clad elves from Neptune.


By Isolde on Monday, November 6, 2000 - 11:54 am:

    the elves wait patiently in the holding lock


By crimson on Monday, November 6, 2000 - 01:00 pm:

    as the reanimated corpse of julius caesar, his windswept plaid cloak blowing behind him like an insane battle flag, steps forward to lead them in the great campaign.


By Isolde on Monday, November 6, 2000 - 01:07 pm:

    julius tripped over a small squirrel


By Pilate on Monday, November 6, 2000 - 01:31 pm:

    which sprouted razor-sharp crucifix shaped fangs the size of telephone poles


By Pug on Monday, November 6, 2000 - 01:36 pm:

    And with a mighty shout, Charles Nelson Reilley unleashed a pack of rabid shrews on the marketplace in downtown Interzone while thirty porcine mutant nuns shared a cigarette with Jesus Christ and Nathan Hale.


By semillama on Monday, November 6, 2000 - 02:08 pm:

    godawful bastards eating cigar stubs and wringing their piss drenched hands


By patrick on Monday, November 6, 2000 - 02:28 pm:

    ...clutching a heaping bowl badger jiz...Fredrico looked to his mama and said

    "I too shall have mine..I too shall have my cake and eat it too mama"

    With that he emabarked down the incline and hang glided to saftey, badger jiz and all


By Tom on Monday, November 6, 2000 - 04:08 pm:

    OOOH! The broccoli of it all! Look out for that Jazz, man, 'cause if you ain't drownin' now: You will be.


By semillama on Monday, November 6, 2000 - 05:02 pm:

    Scream, Lemur, Scream!


By Antigone on Monday, November 6, 2000 - 07:32 pm:


By Isolde on Monday, November 6, 2000 - 08:04 pm:

    The girl curled up in the corner, whimpering


By Pilate on Monday, November 6, 2000 - 08:59 pm:

    And you'd whimper too, if you'd just had the shit kicked out of you by a posse of deranged chiropractors. But the girl straightens herself up, fires up a Muriel cigar and ponders her future as the world's first nude midget-juggling Amway representative.


By Isolde on Monday, November 6, 2000 - 09:05 pm:

    "Avon calling," the woman at the door said.


By crimson on Monday, November 6, 2000 - 09:21 pm:

    griselda sagely realizes there's not much future in juggling wee folk these days. but one can dream. the girl whips a celery stalk out of her cunt & munches pensively; she entertains daydreams of her lover, Syphilis Sam--a rather handsome bloke despite the missing lips & the spleen that has quietly grown to herculean proportions outside his body.

    "DING-DONG!"

    ah, christ on a pogo stick. it's that goddamn avon rep again.

    griselda answers the door with a vague sense of irritation. mrs. eichmann daintily peels chicken entrails off the bottom of her shoes & attempts to sell some kind of perfume that smells like the amalgamated vomit of a thousand winos.

    griselda muses. the avon rep must die.

    but how?


By Isolde on Monday, November 6, 2000 - 09:26 pm:

    "come right on in," she says.
    The Avon lady, surprised at this sudden hospitality, enters.
    "I'll be out in a moment."
    Thank God for those years in Thai strip bars, she thinks, loading her blow gun into her cunt. She picks up two darts and loads one.
    Slithering into her G-String with specially made hole, she picks up a bathrobe and heads for the living room.


By crimson on Monday, November 6, 2000 - 09:35 pm:

    hiding in the kitchen cupboard is Syphilis Sam. he licks what used to be his lips & dreams of hanging the avon lady from the rafters with piano wire. and it's that very thought--the wire mercilessly ripping through her neck, snagging on her blood-splatted cervical vertebrae--that makes the twisted, scarred stump that used to be his cock start throbbing like an electrified flatworm.

    griselda coats the tips of the darts with a potent mixture of dogshit and hallucinogens.

    and waits.


By Isolde on Monday, November 6, 2000 - 09:54 pm:

    The avon lady begins to poke around the kitchen. The cookie jar is strangely appealing.


By Z on Monday, November 6, 2000 - 10:04 pm:

    dutch apple cookies, the antithesis of all civilized culture!

    aww...fuck it, she thought. she was bored. and hungry. and didn't know they were dutch apple cookies...they looked barvarian enough to her!

    the avon lady begins to glow red for a moment, and an emu enters the room.

    a heliporting gnome with a deco beach ball parachutes in

    and shouts

    XYZZY

    and the emu flees in terror.

    the avon lady stops glowing

    you are out of food

    the marching band stops suddenly, and all turn to the tuba player, who is turning red and blowing with all his might on his horn, but no air passes through.

    they all cheer him on, and finally, when he thinks of his wife and 17 lesser gangrenous tliositid lizards at home, he takes a deep breath...

    and blows...

    and blows...

    and blows!

    and suddenly

    ::::KA-DA-BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!:::::::::

    and a neet-coated gerbil flies out of the tuba.

    the band starts again, and the tale continues


By crimson on Monday, November 6, 2000 - 10:07 pm:

    primarily because of the transmitter waves being relentlessly beamed into her thick teutonic cranium by a faux chocolate chip cookie. syphilis sam bides his time & waits. griselda fetches another dart. the clock on the wall reads high noon--as it always does, since the working parts were gnawed out by rats a decade ago.


By crimson on Monday, November 6, 2000 - 10:09 pm:

    "goddamn," syphilis sam thinks as he crouches in the cupboard. "i thought i heard a tuba."


By Isolde on Monday, November 6, 2000 - 10:10 pm:

    The avon lady lay slumped on the counter.
    "Goddamnit!" Griselde strode out of the bedroom, her bathrobe flying open. "She ate the fucking cookies. She's going to be doped for a week. The AVON lady ate my stash! Fuck!"
    Syphilis Sam popped out of the cupboard. "I can pump her stomach," he offered.


By crimson on Monday, November 6, 2000 - 10:14 pm:

    "YES!" griselda screeches as the darts slide out of her twat. "that's the answer to everything!"

    she begins feeling a flush of excitement at the thought of witnessing an old-fashioned stomach pumping. it's been so long.


By Isolde on Monday, November 6, 2000 - 10:18 pm:

    Sam picks up the darts gingerly and places them on the counter. "I'll need my kit," he says.
    They look at each other.
    "FUCK."
    The kit is in the strong deposit box at the bank. It is not high noon.
    Griselda grabs her rifle and the two hop into her Jeep. "Time to bust some bank," Sam says, for effect.
    "What the hell kind of thing is that to say," Griselda says.
    "I don't know, it sounded cool."


By crimson on Monday, November 6, 2000 - 10:24 pm:

    "well, being cool is all that matters," griselda replies as she gives sam's oozing dick-stump a little squeeze.

    "oh, babe," he sighs happily, thinking about both griselda's lovely face & the stomach pumping that will come later. he is, indeed, a blessed man.


By Pilate on Tuesday, November 7, 2000 - 08:32 am:

    On the way to the bank, Syphilis Sam picks up his brother, Yosemite. Another brother, Gethsemane Sam, decides at to go along for the ride. These long-separated Siamese triplets do everything together.....including Griselda. She doesn't mind. Nothing like being energetically sodomized by triplets to make one's day complete. But it's Syphilis Sam she loves most. That winning lipless smile. The sparkle in his remaining eye. The wheezing noises he makes in bed. My God, now THAT'S a man.


By semillama on Tuesday, November 7, 2000 - 08:39 am:

    The Huns poured over the hillside, their spearpoints flashing in the early morning sun. The villagers in the small Romanian village stood in abject terror, staring at their certain doom thundering towards them.


By crimson on Tuesday, November 7, 2000 - 08:41 am:

    and griselda gladly returns the triplets' love. in fact, she's doing it right now, merrily assraping Yosemite Sam with a Polish sausage. Gethsemane Sam slithers over & takes the wheel as an orgy ensues in the jeep. his stigmata bleeds all over the dashboard. he looks into the rearview & finds that the sausage has been removed from his brother's orifice, & a live opossum inserted in its place. the animal's head twists & writhes as it continues being greedily sucked inside Yosemite Sam's body. Griselda squeals with delight & fires up another cigar.


By Isolde on Tuesday, November 7, 2000 - 09:21 am:

    Gethsemane Sam sighs and starts up the car.
    The Huns, however, are in the way.
    "Beep beep!"
    The Huns refuse to move.
    "Goddamnit," Yosemite Sam yells, twisting with discomfort. "Get out of the way, we have a stomach to pump!"
    The Huns amble over to the window.
    "I say old chap," one of them says, "is that a possum up your behind?"


By Czarina on Tuesday, November 7, 2000 - 09:49 am:

    The Huns, knowing full well that possum's were illegal,began to suspect that there was more to this picture than met the eye.

    Suddenly,the Hun with the most outragious helmet,stuck his head in the car,and asked,"Is that a mammal or a marsupial?"


By crimson on Tuesday, November 7, 2000 - 10:00 am:

    Yosemite Sam turns around, annoyed by the question. that's a hell of a thing to ask. and on top of it all, the damned huns keep staring at him, as if we all haven't had a live opossum up our nether regions at one time or another.

    "hell, yes, it's a possum, you blithering hun bastard!"

    "right-o," the hun says. "fine." then he repeats his latter query. "but is it a marsupial or a mammal?"

    the occupants of the jeep are baffled by the question. marsupial? mammal? they ponder the question for a moment. then they run over the annoying hun, crushing the questions right out of him forever. Griselda reaches down & scoops up some of the hun's entrails as a souvenir. she drapes them around Syphilis Sam's neck as a token of her love.


By Czarina on Tuesday, November 7, 2000 - 10:36 am:

    But suddenly,the Hun's entrails come to life!
    "Whats this?"Shouts Syphilis Sam,somebody help me!

    But alas,there was no one willing to help him.
    They quickly moved away from Syphilis Sam and the writhing bundle of entrails he wore so gallently aroud his neck.

    They'd seen this before,and cloning frightened them all.


By semillama on Tuesday, November 7, 2000 - 12:23 pm:

    The mormon wench stared deeply into the eyes of the planet Jupiter.


By J on Tuesday, November 7, 2000 - 02:40 pm:

    Joseph Smith is up there she thought,ruling his Celestial Kingdom,golly,she thought to herself,if only I would have let him fuck me in the ass,I could be there too.


By Isolde on Tuesday, November 7, 2000 - 03:17 pm:

    "Wow," Joseph Smith's daughter thought wonderingly. "How did my father get into all of this, and why is Gee disappointed he didn't fuck hee in the ass?"


By semillama on Tuesday, November 7, 2000 - 04:05 pm:

    carrot cakes rule the inescapable void.


By Isolde on Tuesday, November 7, 2000 - 04:17 pm:

    the void is filled with merangue


By semillama on Tuesday, November 7, 2000 - 04:49 pm:

    ten tons of nostrils


By Isolde on Tuesday, November 7, 2000 - 06:01 pm:

    eleven leaping lesbians


By J on Wednesday, November 8, 2000 - 12:00 am:

    12 pounds of pot!!!!


By Isolde on Wednesday, November 8, 2000 - 12:05 am:

    13 tons of brownie mix!


By B. Kliban on Wednesday, November 8, 2000 - 12:07 am:

    hillary billary
    birdbath pie
    cat lips
    fish hips
    poke you in the eye!


By J on Wednesday, November 8, 2000 - 12:31 am:

    I eat the worms and spit out the germs,I turn on the gas and burn my ass.


By Pilate on Wednesday, November 8, 2000 - 02:09 am:

    Syphilis Sam survives the attack of the Hun entrails. And he still loves Griselda, despite the fact that she found his potential strangulation dreadfully amusing. The remaining Huns form an alliance with the Mormons, and armed with pointed sticks and poisoned Tinkertoys, they regroup and declare war upon Iceland.


By Czarina on Wednesday, November 8, 2000 - 02:55 am:

    As the Sam triplets cleverly plot theit tactical
    maneuvers,the deceitful Huns have formulated a plan of their own.

    Meanwhile,Syphilis Sam calls his men to formation.

    "Alright men,I want to see a phalanx!"he shouts.

    This confuses the foot soldiers,but fearing the consquences of not obeying a direct order,the lead Hun reaches into his pants,and pulls out his penis.The rest of the Huns,being loyal,did the same.

    As the Sam triplets strode over to inspect their troops,they met with this most unusual sight."What the hell is this?"asked Yosemite Sam."What did you tell them?"

    "I told them I wanted to see a phalanx."

    "You fool!" shouts Yosemite Sam,"See,this is why mom wanted you to keep going to speech therapy."


By J on Wednesday, November 8, 2000 - 06:29 am:

    HAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!!!Czarina.As Yosemite Sam pondered the hun's penis's a thought occured,Huns for humanity,where can we go with this?Soon the Hun's were working their money makers on Rodeo Drive and giving 5% to boys town,the other 95%,they were just giving up.Aron Spelling was all their daddies.And somewhere up in Jupiter,Swine is looking down with Joseph Smith gloating about how he owns our mom's and Joseph is such a chump.


By Isolde on Wednesday, November 8, 2000 - 10:10 am:

    Joseph Smith turns around, decks Swine, and happily returns to teaching English to a bunch of louts, his normal profession.


By Pilate on Wednesday, November 8, 2000 - 10:52 am:

    Syphilis Sam, now humiliated in front of his troops, retreats to the Jeep and silently whips out his own phalanx. Despite his relationship with Griselda, Syph finds himself aroused at the thought of all that first-rate Hun dick. And the Huns, ever loyal, are still exposing themselves. Griselda clambers into the Jeep as well, and begins fondling herself. Suddenly, she and Syphilis Sam both want to go into a full-blown Hun-fucking frenzy. But there are other matters to take care of.


By Isolde on Wednesday, November 8, 2000 - 11:05 am:

    However, it's too much.
    They lunge out of the Jeep and into the exposed hunks of manflesh.


By Pilate on Wednesday, November 8, 2000 - 11:49 am:

    Thus joining the other Sam brethren. Yosemite Sam kneels in front of a musclebound 7-foot Hun, energetically giving the blowjob of his life. As the Hun's brutally huge cock prods against the roof of his mouth, Yosemite feels a strange sensation. It's the sensation of a Mormon shoving a set of rosary beads up his ass, without benefit of Vaseline. Griselda nods approvingly, sipping champagne out of a Hun general's leather boot.


By Isolde on Wednesday, November 8, 2000 - 12:49 pm:

    Somewhere in Utah, a Mormon sighs.


By J on Wednesday, November 8, 2000 - 03:34 pm:

    Yosemite crys out "Oh God!!!Why has thou forsaken me"? "Cause your an asshole and I felt like it." She said.


By Czarina on Wednesday, November 8, 2000 - 05:06 pm:

    With all the Hun-fucking going on,no one noticed the small bundle, carried by a gnarled old woman,with only one breast and 2 teeth,wearing a dandy colorful bandana with a picture of Jimmy Buffet on it.

    She gingerly lays the bundle at Griseldas feet,and slips away,almost un-noticed by Griselda,who just happened to come up for air at that very moment,and caught just a glimpse of the gnarled old woman,as she leapt onto the back of a magnificent Hun,and was carried off.

    Griselda looks at the small bundle,and to her surprise,discovers that its a baby!Oh,hon,aren't you just the cutest thing.She calls out to the old woman,"Whats his name?"

    But the crone is too far off to be heard,so she calls out in her Texan/Hun drawl............

    "Ah'll tell ya ......................later."

    Griselda thinks to herself,"Well,hon,thats an odd name for a baby.

    She hurries off to find Syphilis Sam,cause now there is some serious work to be done.


By TBone on Wednesday, November 8, 2000 - 05:36 pm:

    Griselda shuffles up to Sam, pressing baby Later into his hands saying, "Lookie what I found."

    Sam dropps Ah'll like a hot rock.

    Baby Later suddenly snarls loundly and Sam's ankle with a wet crunch.


By pez on Wednesday, November 8, 2000 - 06:56 pm:

    "YYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
    "what happened?"
    "my ankle!!!!"
    "yes, but what happened?"
    "my ankle!!!!!"
    "what happened?"
    "my ankle!! it hurts, dammit!! get me a cold compress!!!!"

    little ah'll crawled off into the jeep, forgotten in the confusion.

    "actually, i don't think i'll need a cold compress. some hot ass will do me juuuuuust fine."


By Tom on Wednesday, November 8, 2000 - 10:29 pm:

    ripped up the middle: a two lane superhighway of glass.


By semillama on Thursday, November 9, 2000 - 08:34 am:

    Lorne Michael's ghost twirls endlessly around the brandy snifter.


By Isolde on Thursday, November 9, 2000 - 08:41 am:

    The brandy snifer breaks and broken glass covers the nice Persian carpet.


By crimson on Thursday, November 9, 2000 - 08:57 am:

    a hun foot soldier steps into the broken brandy snifter & curses as a shard of glass drives deep into his heel. he suddenly brings the bleeding foot upward, nailing the ankle-biting baby right in its rubbery little face. the tot is punted like a football. despite the ankle injury, Syphilis Sam gladly punts back. the baby emits a series of unearthly noises & expires in fairly short order. griselda shrugs, pulls out a knife & skins the kid, figuring that she can make a change purse out of his soft, supple hide.


By Isolde on Thursday, November 9, 2000 - 12:44 pm:

    The skinned baby comes to life and devours Syphilis Sam.


By Czarina on Thursday, November 9, 2000 - 03:41 pm:

    Griselda frantically searches for Syphilis Sam.Having no luck,she approaches his brothers,and casually asks,"Anyone seen Syph lately?"

    "The last time we saw him,he was with you,and Lorne Michaels.",reply the brethren in unison.
    "And that evil ankle biting little bastard,you were carrying around.Now,it appears that both Syph and that baby are missing,Griselda."The Sam brothers glare at her through narrowed eyes.

    Griselda licks her lips nervously,fearing the brothers wrath.

    "Uh,I haven't seen them,or I wouldn't be asking you.",replies Griselda.

    The Sam brothers put their heads close together,and mumble in low tones.

    "Come with us,we have something to show you.",says Yosemite Sam.

    Griselda takes a few steps backwards...............


By crimson on Thursday, November 9, 2000 - 03:44 pm:

    but our hero lives on, as well. it only takes him a few minutes to claw his way out of the kid's guts. then the two of them, Syphilis Sam & SkinKid, shake hands like gentlemen & form an alliance. they toast each other w/ pennzoil daquiris & invite the huns over for another orgy.


By pez on Thursday, November 9, 2000 - 03:44 pm:

    griselda runs away from the chaos of ah'll and the huns, desperatly searching for the old woman.

    "she'll know how to control ah'll."

    meanwhile, deep in the mountains of utah, the old woman smiles. then she turns around and fills her smoking cauldron with a concoction of birch bark, nettles, and crushed spiders.

    "come to me, daughter, come..."


By Pilate on Thursday, November 9, 2000 - 03:54 pm:

    The Huns easily agree to the orgy. In fact, they're already shimmying out of their Calvin Klein jeans. Even a Hun knows that nothing gives a good gumjob quite like a skinned baby. Yosemite Sam, overjoyed to see his brother again, whips a 15" dildo out of his pocket and greases it up with all the joy in his heart.


By Isolde on Thursday, November 9, 2000 - 03:54 pm:

    Griselda, however, has been held up in Jerusalem, due to an encounter with Jesus.


By semillama on Thursday, November 9, 2000 - 03:58 pm:

    "Let's go to the zoo and free all the monkeys."

    "We tried that once, it's how we ended up with Congress."


By Czarina on Thursday, November 9, 2000 - 04:03 pm:

    ..............and finds herself strangely aroused.
    "I wish i was wearing a blue dress",she thinks.


By Pilate on Thursday, November 9, 2000 - 04:18 pm:

    Gethsemane Sam, having just heard via transistor radio that Griselda is hanging out with Our Lord And Savior (TM), becomes a bit aroused himself. He thinks about those nailholes in Christ's hands and how much he wants to fuck them.


By pez on Thursday, November 9, 2000 - 04:19 pm:

    jesus calls out to his father: "i feel the good in you, let go of your hate!"

    god's reply: "it is already too late for me my son. the emperor is your master now."

    griselda stops in her tracks. "what the heck?????"

    jesus: "oops, wrong movie. rewind!"

    *zzziiippp!!!*

    jesus: "father, why have you forsaken me?"

    god: "i haven't. i will send you a sign of my powers and omnipotent being that is i am."

    *griselda's dress turns blue*

    jesus: "thanx, pop."

    griselda: "this is like a dream! god, are you-"

    god: "your fairy godmother? no. merely a father who wants his son to get some sometime in his life."


By crimson on Thursday, November 9, 2000 - 04:27 pm:

    stigmata-fucking...it's a fetish that Gethsemane hasn't tried yet, at least on anyone other than himself. he pulls his collection of stigmata fetish magazines out of his macrame purse & looks at them lustfully. to disguise what he's reading, he cleverly hides all the magazines behind a single copy of the Communist Manifesto.


By Czarina on Thursday, November 9, 2000 - 04:42 pm:

    A strange sense of peace comes over Griselda,as she realizes her dress HAS turned blue.SHE now feels omnipotent.[and secretly she's always coveted that macrame purse of Gethsemane's]

    Perhaps now is the time to show her inner strength,and take that which is rightfully hers.

    Yes, it is time.......................


By pez on Thursday, November 9, 2000 - 06:02 pm:

    suddenly, jesus steals gethsemane's macrame purse.

    jesus: "haha! can't catch me! no one would accuse jesus crist, superstar, of stealing!!!!"


By Isolde on Thursday, November 9, 2000 - 06:27 pm:

    God strikes the False Prophet down in his tracks and continues to floss his teeth with the intestines of infidels.


By crimson on Thursday, November 9, 2000 - 07:05 pm:

    Syphilis Sam decides that flossing is a good idea. he also realizes that the intestines of infidels is a must-have for proper hygiene. He mentions this to Yosemite Sam, who decides to try flossing his asscrack w/ the still-warm innards of a 12-year-old mormon.


By Isolde on Thursday, November 9, 2000 - 09:47 pm:

    Somewhere in Utah, a mormon sighs.


By Tom on Thursday, November 9, 2000 - 10:17 pm:

    Continuity ripples and dies. There was no seriousness! it was all part of an ambush! a surprise attack!

    Dark Helmet: "I can't believe you fell for that, man! that's the oldest trick in the book! Oh, MAN!"


By VladimirPutin on Friday, November 10, 2000 - 12:55 am:

    my flesh became like paper. triple dunked in the river. peel. me like an orange. me love you long time. father. son and holy. be like a spirit. sit down, yer rockin the boat. wood. wood. wooooooooood. TIN! hempweed. menswear. semiweekly. i want a man with a slow...foot... holy bajeesus fuck, batman... i can't find elgar.


By Isolde on Friday, November 10, 2000 - 01:00 am:

    Puppets drink triple sec on late afternoons with adult film stars.


By Cat on Friday, November 10, 2000 - 07:22 am:

    a droite, abbeystead, abed, abet, achromat, acrobat, ad, add, adiabat, aegrotat, aerostat, ahead, aiguillette, ailette, al fustat, alette, alidad, alkanet, Allahabad, alouette, alouettes, alphabet, amadavat, Amorette, amourette, anastigmat, anisette, Anjanette, Annette, Antoinette, Antonet, aoudad, apicad, apochromat, Aranyaprathet, ariette, aristocrat, armet, armpad, arrowhead, Arvad, assignat, at, aubade, Audette, autocrat, automat, avadavat, avocet, avoset, Aydelette, Babette, babysat, backchat, bacteriostat, bad, bade, baguette, balconet, baldhead, ballett, ballonet, banket, banneret, banquette, barbette, Barnett, barquette, barrelhead, barrette, bassinet, bat, Bathinette, batt, bearcat, beaverette, bedad, bedspread, bedstead, beetlehead, begad, begat, beget, behead, Bernadette, Bernette, beset, bespread, bestead, bet, beth, Bett, billethead, bilsted, Binette, Blanchette, blanquette, blat, Blatt, bled, blindcat, bloodshed, bobbinet, bobcat, bobsled, boite, boneset, bonnethead, Bonnette, boxhead, brad, braguette, brat, brayette, bread, bred, Bret, Brett, brevet, briolette, briquet, briquette, brochette, brunet, brunette, Brusett, bulkhead, bullethead, Burdette, bureaucrat, burette, burgonet, Burkburnett, Burnett, butterfat, cabbagehead, cad, cadet, cadette, calumet, campshed, canzonet, capette, caponette, caravanette, carcanet, Cassatt, cassette, cassolette, castanet, cat, Catt, caudad, caveat, celebret, cellaret, centrolinead, cermet, cervelat, chad, Chalmette, Chaminade, charette, charrette, chat, chemisette, Chet, cheth, chevrette, childbed, chiliad, chitchat, Chloette, cigarette, cirriped, clad, Clarette, clarinet, clarionet, Claudette, cockshead, cocomat, coed, coelostat, Colinette, collaret, Collette, colonette, combat, concordat, consolette, copycat, coquet, coquette, Corette, cornet, cornett, cornfed, corselet, corselette, corvet, corvette, Cosette, cossette, couchette, courgette, cowshed, Cozad, cravat, Cravenette, croisette, croquette, crosette, crossette, crosshead, crowned head, cryostat, curet, curette, curlyhead, curvet, curvette, cuvette, cycad, dad, dale head, dancette, dandiprat, Danette, dead, Debrett, debt, defat, delead, democrat, deseret, dextrad, dinette, Dip ed, diplomat, diskette, dispread, disspread, distad, divan bed, doodad, doorstead, Dorette, dosseret, doucet, dragonet, dragonhead, drat, dread, Dred, drowsihead, duad, duet, Dukiet, Duquette, echelette, egad, El fostat, Elat, electrojet, embed, en fete, ennead, epaulet, epaulette, epithet, espagnolette, estafette, Ethelette, exeat, expat, eyalet, fad, falconet, Fanchette, fanjet, farmerette, farmstead, fat, Fayette, featherbed, featurette, fed, fet, fiddlehead, figurehead, filmset, firebrat, fishnet, flannelette, flat, flatbread, flechette, fled, fleurette, flinthead, flockbed, floreat, florette, forbad, forbade, forgat, forget, format, formeret, fossette, fourchette, foveolet, frat, Frechette, Fred, Freda, Fredette, fret, frett, fringehead, frisette, frizette, fumette, fungistat, fustet, gad, gainsaid, Gallaudet, gamboised, garnett, Garnette, gat, Gaudette, gazette, gedd, Gelett, genette, Georgette, get, Gillette, gingerbread, girouette, glad, gled, gnat, godet, goldthread, gossipred, Goulette, grad, Gravette, grisette, Guenette, Guesde, Guillemette, Gwinnett, gypsyhead, gyrostat, habitat, had, haemostat, hairnet, Halette, hammerhead, handset, hat, head, hearthstead, heavyset, heb sed, hebdomad, heliostat, hellcat, hemostat, Henriette, heptad, hereat, het, Hett, Hewette, hogshead, homebred, homestead, horsehead, Hospitalet, humidistat, hydrostat, imaret, imbed, inbred, indebt, infrared, inset, instead, interbed, interbred, ironclad, Ismet, isocrat, jaconet, Jacquette, Jeanerette, Jeanette, Jeannette, jerkinhead, jet, Joette, Joliet, Judette, Juliette, Junette, Kattegat, kitcat, kitchenette, lad, Ladd, Lafayette, landaulet, landocrat, Lanett, languet, languette, lanneret, lansquenet, launderette, Laurette, lavaret, layette, lazaret, lazarette, leatherette, led, let, Lett, letterhead, linebred, Linette, lionet, Lisette, loggerhead, Long boret, longhead, Lorette, lorgnette, Louisette, lowbred, lowlihead, luncheonette, lunette, lymphad, Lynette, mad, magnificat, maisonette, maisonnette, majorette, manchette, maquette, Marchette, Marette, Margette, Mariett, Mariette, marionette, Marlette, marmoset, Marquette, marquisette, marrowfat, martnet, Mashhad, Masqat, masthead, mat, matt, matte, Med, mediad, megarad, Merced, met, mignonette, minaret, Minette, minivet, minuet, misled, mofette, Monett, Monette, monocrat, Monsarrat, Montserrat, moonset, moquette, Moradabad, motet, mudcat, mudfat, multiped, musette, musique concrete, muskrat, mycostat, Nanette, navette, Ned, net, Nett, newlywed, Nicolette, Ninette, noisette, nonet, nonfat, novelette, nymphet, ochlocrat, octet, octette, Odette, offset, ogdoad, olivet, olivette, olympiad, omelette, oread, orgeat, orthostat, oubliette, outsat, outspread, overfed, overhead, overset, overspread, Ovett, pad, paillette, palette, palmette, palmiped, paroquet, parroket, pat, Patt, Payette, pet, Phuket, pianette, Pierette, Pierrette, pillaret, Pinette, pinnatiped, pinniped, pipet, pipette, piquet, pirouette, pitapat, plaid, planchette, plaquette, plat, Platt, Platte, pled, Pleiade, plutocrat, pochade, pochette, polecat, polyclad, poppethead, poppyhead, Poquette, posteriad, poussette, prad, prat, Pratt, Pratte, premed, preset, propjet, psammead, pulsojet, pussycat, quadruped, quartet, quartette, quickset, quintet, quintette, rad, railhead, ramjet, rat, red, redd, regret, requiescat, reset, ret, retread, revet, rheostat, Rhett, rigolet, rillette, riverhead, roadstead, Robinette, Rochette, Rolette, Rollet, roomette, rosette, roulette, Roundhead, Royette, rudderhead, sad, Sarchet, Sarette, sat, satinette, savate, Sayed, scad, scat, scatt, scilicet, seedbed, semimat, septet, septolet, serinette, sermonette, serviette, set, sett, sextet, sextette, sextolet, shad, sharecropper, shat, shed, Shedd, sheepshead, sheveret, shortbread, shorthead, shred, siderostat, silhouette, sinistrad, Siret, siscowet, slat, sled, sleepyhead, snowshed, soliped, somerset, sorehead, soubrette, sound head, soviet, spat, sped, spinet, spinneret, Spithead, splat, sprat, Spratt, spread, squelette, Stadt, statuette, stead, stet, Stinnett, stockinet, stockinette, stonecat, stonechat, storiette, Strad, strawhat, sublet, suedette, suffragette, sulfuret, summerset, sunbed, sunhat, superadd, superette, superhet, Surat, surette, Susette, Suzette, sweat, Swed, swellhead, swimmeret, symphonette, syndet, tabbinet, tabinet, tablemat, tad, Tadd, tarbet, tat, technocrat, Ted, teth, tetrad, that, theocrat, thereat, thermostat, thickset, thingstead, thornhead, thoroughbred, thread, threat, Tibet, timberhead, toilette, tonette, toucanet, Touchet, tourette, trad, tread, trebuchet, tret, trevette, Trinidad, turbojet, turrethead, typeset, ultranet, ultrared, umbrette, unbed, unclad, underbred, underfed, undergrad, undergraduette, underlet, underset, unfed, unmet, unread, unsaid, unset, unshed, unthread, untread, unwed, upset, usherette, vat, vedette, vet, videlicet, vidette, Viet, vignette, vilayet, vinaigrette, vinegarette, Violette, Vlad, wadset, waggonette, wagonette, warhead, wat, watershed, weatherhead, Wed, well read, wellhead, wet, whereat, whet, widespread, wildcat, Willette, Wilmette, winceyette, wingspread, woodshed, yclad, yet, yett, Yevette, Yvette, ziggurat, zikurat


By Marks Webserver Harddrive on Friday, November 10, 2000 - 08:26 am:

    Thanks Cat.


By Czarina on Friday, November 10, 2000 - 08:27 am:

    Griselda likes the idea of peeling Vladimir like an orange.Citrus always brings a smile to her now cynical lips.She only wishes she had a smudge pot to keep her warm.Where can she find one?


By crimson on Friday, November 10, 2000 - 09:02 am:

    she can find one in Gethsemane Sam's macrame purse, of course, where one can find damn near anything in the universe...teabags, catheter tubes, the nails from christ's palms, a waffle house menu, a tube of K-Y, gold from a spanish galleon, all of the village people's costumes & a small beeswax replica of the statue of liberty.


By Isolde on Friday, November 10, 2000 - 10:22 am:

    And a small skunk, which appears to be unconscious at present.


By Czarina on Friday, November 10, 2000 - 10:40 am:

    Griselda,now deep in thought,determined to get her hands on the ever illusive macrame purse,that is obviously the key to the wonders of the universe,is masterminding a sleazy plot to fullfill her hedonistic needs.Nothing is beneath her wanton desire for this ultimate treasure,this decadent trifle,this orgasmic bauble..................


By Isolde on Friday, November 10, 2000 - 11:21 am:

    Nothing save celibacy, of course.
    She sits down in the middle of the orgy, and while a Hun bangs her from behind, the seeds of her grand plan form.


By patrick on Friday, November 10, 2000 - 11:58 am:

    being served with precise punishment...the australian doll who went to far...moans with humility and pleasure.

    sometimes she never knew when to quit. her pearl-white, red strapped ass draped over that dried out stump was evidence of her bullish and persistant nature.


By pez on Friday, November 10, 2000 - 12:07 pm:

    "booyow!" a boomarang suddenly zips into the picture, ripping off the humping hun's head.


By Dougie on Friday, November 10, 2000 - 01:06 pm:

    Just then, Jerry steps up and says to them, he says, "For this is all a dream we dreamed one afternoon long ago" and walks off into the sunset.


By Isolde on Friday, November 10, 2000 - 01:10 pm:

    The sunset abruptly disappears and Carl Saagan appears, looking very confused.


By Z on Friday, November 10, 2000 - 01:33 pm:

    What? This ISN'T the audition for the "Hunter S. Thompson's SHARK TANK" remake? AGH! Fuckin' incompotent taxi freak...

    QUACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!


    oh wait...i didn't mean to press 7.

    And YES I would like that king-sized!

    Golly, why don't these illegal immigrants ever get my squisitashuti orders right?

    the sun also rises...

    And thus, as Tommy was walking down the street, he shivered a little. The cold December wind cut through his burlap jacket and through his Kay-Murt brand tshirt.
    suddenly, a chaotic roar of symphonic majesty and screaming guitars and blasting drums ripped through his ears!
    He cowered to the ground, screaming...
    A few SUV-driving soccer moms rubbernecked to see what his problem was, but saw and heard nothing.

    The VW bus ripped by...at 14 miles per hour, blasting some sort of rum-pa-pum mix of string instruments and electric guitars and basses...

    the unknown driver grinned as it drove down the street to the pet store.
    their goal was soon to be accomplished...


By pez on Friday, November 10, 2000 - 02:38 pm:

    ...of turning all the dancing bunnies purple.


By Pilate on Friday, November 10, 2000 - 04:25 pm:

    Syphilis Sam picks up a dancing bunny and stuffs it down his pants. He waves at the driver of a VW bus, who he recognizes as his transvestite uncle, Sorabji Sam. The purple bunny soon becomes comfortable with his new residence in Syphilis Sam's pink polka-dot boxers.


By VladimirPutin on Friday, November 10, 2000 - 05:05 pm:

    tur

    pen

    tine


By Cat on Friday, November 10, 2000 - 05:31 pm:

    Hey Dougie, is Mark's Webserver Harddrive sitting on your knee or sumpin? You big slut you.


By Czarina on Friday, November 10, 2000 - 06:38 pm:

    .................and there in Syphlis Sams pants,the bunny does what bunnies do best!Sorabji Sam is somewhat shocked,and mildly amused to see the activity ensuing in his neglegent nephews pants.Sorabji Sam thinks............."I need to spend more time with this nepharious nephew of mine..............I could show him a thing or two!"


By crimson on Friday, November 10, 2000 - 06:48 pm:

    so Sorabji Sam unzips his pants and does, indeed, show his nephew a thing or two. Syphilis Sam, for the first time in his life, blushes.


By pez on Friday, November 10, 2000 - 06:51 pm:

    ...a polka-dotted new-pine-needle green. you had to be there. and all the shoes melted off their feet and became clocks, whick promptly flew into the air and began to sing.


By Czarina on Friday, November 10, 2000 - 08:03 pm:

    ...........Syphilis Sam not only blushes,but is totally agog!Never in his wildest fantasy has he ever imagined such delightful sexual pleasures,to be derived from simple bunny puffs,so skillfully executed by his talented transvestite uncle,whom he now realizes is not not merely a transvestite,but in all actuality is a true hermaphrodite,skilled beyond imagination,in the oriental arts of sexual delights..............his eyes grow wider and more animated as he watches in astonishment as his talented uncle/aunt performs...................


By crimson on Friday, November 10, 2000 - 08:58 pm:

    Uncle Sorabji reveals a surgically-inserted zipper running up & down the length of his/her back. Syphilis Sam curiously unzips it, and beneath the zipper lies a vast collection of warm, sucking, moist orifices. multiple sets of genitalia writhe like eels. these hidden genitals, hundreds of them, are perfectly paired, male & female. Uncle Sorabji is literally fucking himself, every day of his life. Syphilis Sam pulls the bunny out of his shorts & crams it headfirst into one of Uncle Sorabji's many female receptors. the bunny squeaks with pleasure, as does Syphilis Sam, who trembles in brazen uncle-fucking abandon. Syphilis pats the bunny. he is not thinking of huns or mormons.


By Tom on Friday, November 10, 2000 - 10:17 pm:

    She brushed the popcorn out of her muff, and it fell to the floor like so much dandruff. It was, he mused, easily the least sexual thing he had seen in a week.


By Czarina on Friday, November 10, 2000 - 10:47 pm:

    At this point,the Animal Activist from Lousiana,looks up and sees the glorious full moon,and before she can control herself,emits a low pitched howl,that builds in cresendo,until she quivers all over,in a pseudo orgasmic manner.She gives her "muff" one good gyrating shake,thereby dislodging any remaining extra-buttered popcorn nestled there,and thinks..........."Huns and Mormons are one thing,but there will be no more bunny abuse while I'm here!"
    And then her plan is borne............


By Antigone on Friday, November 10, 2000 - 11:05 pm:

    Antigone says, "This post has nothing to do with sex," then explodes.


By Daniel ssss on Friday, November 10, 2000 - 11:09 pm:

    In low cut penny loafers, one bunny escaped and went with the blue dress to Shop N Slut for a box candy colored pinstriped condoms, bunny-sized, and printed in Austria by Fredrico the Great Cabriolet-banging drummer; no one but Quiznab the Slurpy Queen commented on the faux fur penny's, all four of them, oozing bunny stuff through the tassels.

    Popcorn spilled over them both as the bunny in blue dress and bunny stuffed Rocksports offered Quiznab a small token of pursed lip, slightly bitten and red at one corner, some ruffled fur around the bunnynethernetherland, and a coquettish and typically Austrian sly loo of "I dare you to come over that counter and get me!!! Right here!!!! Right now!!!! I know what you want!!! I know what I got!!!!

    No Blue Bunny for Quiznab tonight.


By Czarina on Friday, November 10, 2000 - 11:16 pm:

    "I once saw a flying bunny in a Monty Python flick",muses the blue-clad bunny.


By Quiznabs Conscience cousin of Al The Gorey and bastard son of Demon Bushwacker on Friday, November 10, 2000 - 11:21 pm:

    Hey you! Yeah YOU!!! You in the gaddam blue dress!!!!

    You listning t' me? I COULD be on that side of the counter. DON"T make me come out and get you!!!

    Animal Activist, SMACKtivist!

    Ya coulda had a slurpee, but NOOOOO!!!! Ya gotta do the respectable ting and fuck plans up, doncha?

    Well how's it feel NOW? Hangin round the place like ya had no place ta go??? Ya coulda been in the right place and the right time and ya chickened out, ya quit, ya run n hid, ya sorry bastard.

    (The bunnie suddenly doesn't remember a thing about airplanes and airports and groping in the gates). Quiznab continues:

    So it's Friday nite and ya aint going no where an no one a coming ta meet ya either!!! Cause ya screwed things up again. You and ya gaddam relatives of them Utah Peoples!!! Ya, you a real idiot. Ya don't know a gifted bird when ya's sees one!!! YHa big chicken!!!

    (Quiznab and the monkeys and the parakeets and the crocks are all laughing hystersically by now, stage left)


By Daniel sssss Dead Friend Will on Friday, November 10, 2000 - 11:27 pm:

    Yea and to tickle our noses with spear grass to make them bleed and then to beslubber our garmets with it and swear it was the blood of real bunnies.


By Czarina on Friday, November 10, 2000 - 11:32 pm:

    No beslubbering of garments will be tolerated around bunnies.


By Daniel ssss on Friday, November 10, 2000 - 11:48 pm:

    Lugh of the Lopeared Arm leered lonesomely from behind the glass in frozen foods at the lively ShopNSlut Market, and said under his breath, frostily, 'That Quiznab's an asshole! He should drown in his own Slurpee.'

    Lugh decided he ought climb out from behind the hard as a rock zucchini and yellow squash to dust off some frost, and may be even strike up a warming conversation with the dreamy bunny in the penny loafers with the blue dress....and intercede or at least intercourse with the Quiznab he/she/it thing who masqueraded as an Iranian Slurpee Puller...and the frizzy furred 100 pound chainsmoking she bunnie.

    Lugh noticed she (the bun) had gotten her beautiful blue (shade of the moon tonight type blue) dress all wet when the monkeys splashed slurpee juice in her direction.

    Lugh noticed her undulating bosom (great for a bunny he thought toi his frosty old self). Lugh noticed her puff of fur. Lugh noticed her four penny loafered limbs and smacked his teeth.

    Now THIS was worth coming out of the freezer for!!! He was intent on bashing Quiznab and the Queen's Conscience all to hell. He wanted to hear the bunny coo like a hellish deva right there above his left ear lobe (he only had one).

    And Lugh knew he could pick up the phone anytime now, and in his dream, it would be bunnytalk and warm fuzzies all the way to dreamland.

    Lugh could stop the beslubbering.


By Czarina on Saturday, November 11, 2000 - 12:05 am:

    Lugh of the Lopeared Arm,knows his bunnies.
    Perhaps it would be wise for the bunnies to unite,thereby showing a strong front by banding together to keep Quiznab and that tacky Queen at bay?


By VladimirPutin on Saturday, November 11, 2000 - 12:44 am:

    bay beslubbering bunnies bunnies left bunny tonight explodes borne week mormons performs sing blushes you tine boxers purple accomplished confused sunset head nature form bauble present liberty one Cat zikurat stars elgar MAN sighs mormon infidels stealing time Manifesto life them thinks Congress Jesus heart come orgy backwards Sam hide carpet snifter glass fine crunch done said sighs boot manflesh of profession chump therapy Iceland ass eye mix pot lesbians nostrils merangue void ass too Jupiter all love marsupial behind cigar them man man cool long offered tuba ago continues appealing waits room how said representative whimpering Trek Scream be all hands Hale poles squirrel campaign lock Neptune frantically stars smelly steamroller say girls condoms factory grandmothers lovin' down...


By VladimirPutin on Saturday, November 11, 2000 - 12:45 am:

    I rest my case.


By VladimirPutin on Saturday, November 11, 2000 - 12:49 am:

    Say it out loud. It's quite effective.


By Isolde on Saturday, November 11, 2000 - 01:04 am:

    The little girl dressing her Barbies looked up to see the bunny, was inspired, and ran away to Vegas. Within the week, she was starring in controversial pornos, and within the year, she had broken the world record for most penes inserted vaginally at once.


By pez on Saturday, November 11, 2000 - 02:39 am:

    which enraged barbie, who was going for the same record but (unfortunately) had only a tiny plastic cunt.


By Czarina on Saturday, November 11, 2000 - 02:55 am:

    Which fortunately,was a perfect match for Kens tiny plastic appendage.


By Isolde on Saturday, November 11, 2000 - 12:24 pm:

    New York Sun, November 11:
    Around the world, thousands of Barbies were recalled today, as a result of a peculiar plastic formation on Ken's nether regions. Mattel officials decline to comment.
    The Barbie revolution was beginning.


By Czarina on Saturday, November 11, 2000 - 03:57 pm:

    Now,the blue-clad bunny was not only blue in dress,but also in spirit.Her perky ears hung limply,and she sighed, thinking of those hard as rock zucchini and yellow squash,that could have been hers to nibble contentedly,at her leisure,under this glorious full moon.[theres nothing bunnies like much better than crisp veggies]
    Knowing she'd have to go alone to her warren,[but first making sure there were no Warrens in her warren],she slips out of her blue bunny dress,and sneaks a peek in her lair,thumping one bunny foot,and thinks of times that same foot might have gotten caught in the boy bunny's hair.Knowing that the boy bunny would know exactly what do in just such a circumstance,made her long for the boy bunny even more.She twitched her bunny nose,gave one final look at the moon,and slowly gave her bunny tail one shake,and entered her lonely lair.


By Mephistophilobunnie on Saturday, November 11, 2000 - 10:31 pm:

    . . . . . . . . . . . . . ...... yyyyyyyyYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss............ . . . . . . . . .


By Czarina on Saturday, November 11, 2000 - 11:07 pm:

    But the she bunny was very restless,the moon shining down,giving her no reprise from primal bunny urges,in fact intensifying those very urges,the floppy eared powder puff was having difficulty remaining in her lonely lair.


By Ghost Bunnie on Saturday, November 11, 2000 - 11:26 pm:

    zap and the whole friggin thing is gone.


By E.Fudd on Saturday, November 11, 2000 - 11:37 pm:

    which way did he go?


By Isolde on Sunday, November 12, 2000 - 01:36 am:

    Somewhere, a Mormon sighs.


By Czarina on Sunday, November 12, 2000 - 02:02 am:

    Yea Isolde!!!!!!!Clever clever girl!
    I've never seen the site be down this long.So I hacked in through a different route.


By Isolde on Sunday, November 12, 2000 - 02:26 am:

    *smile*
    I'm smarter than I look.
    It's very wet here and I'm having a perplexing mystery involving smoke, smiley faces, and '70s porn.


By Ghost Bunnie on Sunday, November 12, 2000 - 10:48 pm:

    I think he went to the shower, as Adolf drags on a long cigar and mutters in German to the Captain Fudd. "Vee shut gut dose buu-nees vidout merceee!" Capt Fudd retorts to the puff of smoke coughed in his direction. "Vee shut gut dose Animal Activists, and Dat Miserable Lugh Guy, too. Dat Vould maak da Sorabjiplace safe for the Notorious Quiznab and his facist Slurpee Suckers..."

    I think he went to the shower, but that is what the honorable narrator overheard on the subway.

    I think he went to the shower...alone.


By Isolde on Sunday, November 12, 2000 - 10:57 pm:

    Adolf became captivated with Marlon Brando and began to order signed posters from E-Bay.


By Ghost Bunnie on Sunday, November 12, 2000 - 11:24 pm:

    Oh shit I'm in the shower with Marlon, Adolf, the Blue Bunnie (NOT the ice cream carton), Sargeant Schultz, and Elmer Fudd. One bunnie, two bunnie, three bunnie, Four...last one in please shut the door.

    Campground showers are big and have various handholds. Only a quarter a session.


By Daniel ssss on Sunday, November 12, 2000 - 11:26 pm:

    where is my annotated Lolita when I need it?


By Blue Bunny on Sunday, November 12, 2000 - 11:30 pm:

    I'm here!But have always been frightened of Nazi's.I hear they won't share the soap.


By Czarina on Sunday, November 12, 2000 - 11:42 pm:

    ........as this diverse group co-mingled in the campground shower,[which was solar],the blue bunny kept an eye on Marlon,remembering the Last Tango in Paris scenario.Also,this Fudd character caused her some unease.She couldn't put her bunny paw on it,but something made her very uncomfortable about this short man,with the odd hat.She didn't like the way he kept looking at her and smacking his lips.


By Isolde on Sunday, November 12, 2000 - 11:57 pm:

    Suddenly, Sacheen Littlefeather wandered into the shower and started screaming about Jesus. She distributed soap to all, stood on the box that remained, and spoke about Native American Rights.
    "Shut up," said Hitler.


By Czarina on Monday, November 13, 2000 - 12:09 am:

    .........Marlon asked,with a gleem in his good eye,"Is that lye soap you've brought?"


By Isolde on Monday, November 13, 2000 - 12:26 am:

    "Why yes," Hitler said. "Yes, indeed, it is."


By pez on Monday, November 13, 2000 - 02:25 am:

    "oh good. i was getting hungry there." marlon grabs the bar and begins to chew.

    "no!" said herr hitler, "that's my soap! and you didn't say the magic words!"

    "please?"

    hitler stares.

    "heil hitler?"

    hitler stares.

    "it's the jews fault?"

    "no," replies hitler, "you just don't get it. if you're going to eat my soap, you're going to have to grant me a wish."

    hitler suddenly uncorks a bottle, shoves marlon into it, and recorks it, trapping his beloved star.


By Isolde on Monday, November 13, 2000 - 08:34 am:

    Marlon pounds helplessly on the bottle for a while, and then begins to nibble on the soap he's still holding. Hitler hums as he showers.


By patrick on Monday, November 13, 2000 - 11:30 am:

    you people should be out playing....stop this nonsense


By Big Slut Me on Monday, November 13, 2000 - 11:58 am:

    Yes it is, how very observant of you Cat!


By Daniel ssss on Monday, November 13, 2000 - 11:23 pm:

    Ah yes indeedeedo! On your knees, all of you! Then let's all go out and play like nice little wild beasts, running up and down the beach and tossing penguins about. And turn off that damn hot water in the shower; nothing worse than a hot soggy muff with no where to go. (No typo here Liz!)

    A soggy muff indeed.

    Harummfff.


By Isolde on Monday, November 13, 2000 - 11:53 pm:

    sometimes when i used to work at the zoo there would be golden showers in the polar bear cage.


By Daniel ssss on Monday, November 13, 2000 - 11:58 pm:

    (I haven't heard that term in a LONG time, Isolde)

    So Adolf winked at Fudd who winked at Quiznab who winked at the polar bear crossing her legs in the corner....and we know what happened next.


By Isolde on Tuesday, November 14, 2000 - 12:16 am:

    (this is supposed to be a random aassociation thread--i associated. i never worked for a zoo.)

    sexuality, much like reading a book, can grow old if badly executed.


By pez on Tuesday, November 14, 2000 - 12:50 am:

    brando finished his soap, took a look around, and began to bang on the glass. when that didn't work, he began a baaaaad (or maybe better) imitation of christina agulera.

    "smile, you're on candid camera!"


By Antigone on Tuesday, November 14, 2000 - 03:02 am:

    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.
    Too much plot.


By Antigone on Tuesday, November 14, 2000 - 03:02 am:

    Too much plot!


By Tom on Tuesday, November 14, 2000 - 03:36 am:

    "right, then. Try this"
    "Oh, thank you very much sir. It's very good"
    "That's a good lass. I thought you might like it. It's a delicacy in my homeland, far over the mountains. If you eat enough of it, some day you may grow up to make even less sense than I."

    At this, the eyes of the little waif Enogitna became round as saucers as she stared up at her benefactor.

    "No, sir, never! No one could make that much nonsense"
    "Oh, little Enog, you flatter me. In truth, there are many people who make MUCH less sense than I do. They are called "Sorabjites," and if you should ever meet one, here is what you must do: Shout 'Mark Thomas is a ninny, and I post as Sorabji all the time! Besides which, ASS ASS ASS! SEX!' This should cause any Sorabjite to become thoroughly incapacitated with laughter, especially if you've eaten enough of this."

    With this, the man pushed a bit more of the strange gray foodstuff into Enog's eagerly outstretched hands. As she shoved it in her mouth and ears, she mumbled out "wha wuh sez ee hol."

    The man answered "why, dear girl, it is called tolp, and it makes less continuous sense than anything. Even slapstick."

    with this, the girls eyes widened for a moment as she swallowed, and them an feared she might choke, or get a tumor. However, she recovered with an evil grin and kicked him squarely in the groin.

    "I SAID fuck you, you ugly asshole!" she laughed merrily and ran off down the street.


By Isolde on Tuesday, November 14, 2000 - 10:52 am:

    here you go, antigone:
    desert cacti wave in the breeze. sagebrush tumbles thoughtfuly under the feet of small furry animals, who are covered in dust.
    the cattle make a long train across the hot desert sand.
    "moo," said the fish.


By Pug on Tuesday, November 14, 2000 - 11:13 am:

    "Moo", replied Syphilis Sam, as His other brother, Lucifer Sam, rolled up on a moped with Chesty Morgan and a rusty jello mold.
    MY GOD....you mean, QUARDRUPLETS????!!!!!
    Meanwhile, back in the States.....


By Isolde on Tuesday, November 14, 2000 - 11:22 am:

    (too much plot)
    once the the summer in 1843, two people went on a walk in a deep dark forest. they were in love and carried a little pictic basket and picked flowers and had lots of loverlyish fun.
    they were eaten by wolves.
    lesson: don't walk in a deep dark forest.


    or is that the lesson?


By Curious on Tuesday, November 14, 2000 - 11:25 am:

    where'd they get that pictic basket?


By Dougie on Tuesday, November 14, 2000 - 11:34 am:

    At the pictic basket store. That, actually, is the moral of the story. Don't go to one of those knock-off pictic basket stores; spring for the real thing, go to a picnic basket store, lest ye get eaten by wolves.


By Czarina on Tuesday, November 14, 2000 - 11:40 am:

    Too much plot?


    Have you not read Homer?




    tsk,tsk,tsk


By Dougie on Tuesday, November 14, 2000 - 11:58 am:

    Simpson? I didn't he was published.


By pez on Tuesday, November 14, 2000 - 03:18 pm:

    oh yes. remember that episode when he was smart?

    well, he wrote a short thesis about fatherly love, then promptly forgot about it once he turned dumb again. the scientist published it under the cow's name about six months later. in fact, it was so well recieved that this years pulitzer prize is the first to go to a bovine.

    five spades.

    i want to be the minority on the roof again.


By Czarina on Tuesday, November 14, 2000 - 05:20 pm:

    No,not that episode.The one where Marge and Homer and their cosanguious spawn,with the asymmetrical heads,begin their own Odyssey up Nates Ileum.

    Plot is the substance of all great literature.


By Antigone on Tuesday, November 14, 2000 - 07:15 pm:

    Too much ass.


By Antigone on Tuesday, November 14, 2000 - 07:17 pm:

    Isolde, "moo" was utter perfection. Thanks.


By Cat on Tuesday, November 14, 2000 - 08:50 pm:

    You can never have too much plot when ass is involved. That's the motto of my story.


By Antigone on Tuesday, November 14, 2000 - 11:23 pm:

    And yer stickin' to it. Or it's stickin' to you.

    Mmmmmmmm......


By Daniel ssss on Wednesday, November 15, 2000 - 12:34 am:

    I read the Ileum once, back in my colonscopy days. I get it confused with the Embassy, you know, the fillintheblank formulaic novelette scratched out by Checkoff, not the annotated Lolita by Itbrokoff. I prefer Bosian early pictic literature to the more sedate and rambling up your ass fiction of the Rushing Proletitrain.

    Either way, you need a microscope for the plot, and the characters are all Sorabjitian Linguists.

    Yes. Never enough protein in a good cumulus.


By pez on Wednesday, November 15, 2000 - 02:37 am:

    i have a rubberband strapped around my forehead--it keeps my eyebrows on.

    sylvie is pretending that the rubberband is her kitten--picking it up with her mouth and putting it in a "nest" of carpet bits.

    this rubberband came holding the mail together--about five different catologs full of size 0 clothes.

    tomorrow the rubberband will be snapped--exhausted after all the excitement.


By Z on Monday, November 20, 2000 - 01:12 am:

    Z jumps out of a cardboard refrigerator box, covered in McDonald's hamburger wrappers and wearing a beard of peanut butter. He starts ranting and raving....and sneezing.

    "WHY THE F*** DID THIS PERFECTLY GOOD THREAD HAVE TO GO TO SHIZNAT OVER SOME DUMBA** OBSESSION WITH SEX AND OTHER GARBAGE? WHY CAN'T WE JUST HAVE SOME CLEAN, INSANE, PLOTLESS, TOTALLY RANDOM FUN???? AAAAIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!"

    oh dear. the flowerpot disloged itself from the outboard motor. The dinghy spun out of control, upsetting the game of raccoon twister that was going on in the secretary, without the knowledge of bret hart, evil headmaster of the school of cream cheese and other dairy products institute,


    a shrew jumps from the remote control, and dances across the keyboard. within seconds, the entire auditorium is enveloped in a ghastly light from the projector as the words

    I NEED A FRIGGIN' BURMESE NAIL REMOVER!

    flashed across the wall.

    all were stunned.


By pez on Monday, November 20, 2000 - 02:06 am:

    "do you have an opinion?
    a mind of your own?
    i thought you were special
    i though you should know"

    the song by garbage has filled my head to the point of explosion. the sudden "boom!!" ricochets against the walls, covered with gray matter and miscillaneous trash.

    what a sad sad day.

    the room is silent. suddenly a door creaks open, nudged by a small gray kitten, filling the room with light. sylvie pads in and begins to bat at an eyeball.


By Z on Monday, November 20, 2000 - 04:53 pm:

    shrug.

    oh well.


By Paul on Wednesday, May 12, 2004 - 08:16 am:

    Hi

    Did you know your a Googlewhack?


By Tim Parkin on Tuesday, June 29, 2004 - 04:33 pm:

    That is incredible. I have also just discovered that you are a Googlewhack, and was gutted to discover that I am just 47 days too late. Still, it made me a very happy bunny as it's my first Googlewhack.

    (Celibacy frett)


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