Apparently they based it on the average years of fertility and something called the "google test", which is a statistical thingimijiggy I can't be bothered explaining. Essentially they wanted to come up with a number at which you would still be ripe for the picking but you weren't just wasting yourself on the first loser that came along. And without further ado...the perfect age for a woman is 27, while men should marry at 32. If the mathematicians had based their calculations more on social factors like sex drive and life span, females should be looking for toy boys...six years younger is about right according to the math boffins. |
you getting all hot and bothered by the men in the shoe department again? i'm going back to sleep. |
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three hours of sleep. woke up naked in the closet, cell phone screaming in my ear, puddle of ketel one and tropicana under my ass. at least i hope that was ketel one and tropicana. 4PM in the office: very dazed, slightly confused, auto-pilot in full effect. five minutes ago i'm on the phone yapping "deliverables, deliverables, action items, blah blah blah!!" and all i've got in my head is KRS shredding up the stage at SOB's. who the hell needs business when you've got the boom-bap? to hell with it. a few more years of this shit is gonna make my liver shrivel up like a diseased prune. turn my gray matter green and leak out my ears. old crusty walking dry heave. fade to black. back in black. black out. mama say mama saw ma ma cu saw. see? it's damn near impossible to focus under these conditions. at least not without another stiff drink and the proper pharmaceuticals. shit. i shouldn't get myself started. i wonder if i can declare pharmaceutical bankruptcy... anyway, fuck all that. new kung fu: there will be no stiff drinks. there will be no xanax consumption. there will be no late nights shaking ass in that dark sweaty cocacabana. go home. smoke a joint. get in bed. go to sleep. go home. smoke a joint. get in bed. go to sleep. go home. smoke a joint. get in bed. go to sleep. go home. smoke a joint. get in bed. go to sleep. go home. smoke a joint. get in bed. go to sleep. go home. smoke a joint. get in bed. go to sleep. go home. smoke a joint. get in bed. go to sleep. go home. smoke a joint. get in bed. go to sleep. go home. smoke a joint. get in bed. go to sleep. go home. smoke a joint. get in bed. go to sleep. go home. smoke a joint. get in bed. go to sleep. go home. smoke a joint. get in bed. go to sleep. sextant--> mahavishnu--> cymande. lights out. |
But there was no milk at my workplace this morning. Talk about a white-hot nuclear situation. There are still corpses of black-coffee-victims littering the corridors. It's a nightmare. |
sounds like my life valium xanax liquor laced days and nights fortunately i work in an office with publishing folk...they like their coffee strong and black deadlines and late nights demand it. no problems there. after my birthday party, i got a stocked liquor cabinent. it will most likely be gone by friday. |
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"i like ma women like i like ma coffee...strong and black" you could substitute whisky as well, or any other potent drink |
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So, Cat, what are your problems? I'm afraid of being ruled by a facist. I don't drink coffee now, but when I did I took it black. |
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yay! i'm a real woman! |
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Cat, you are one funny mofo. |
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There was a game called google where one person would write down a list of numbers, tell the other person how many numbers there were, and then read them off to the other person, who had to guess which was the largest immediately after it was said. The counterintuitive (for me, at least, I don't have anyone else's intuition) result was that having a huge list of numbers didn't help you much, the guesser always had at least a certain chance of guessing right, if he followed the proper strategy. The strategy was also very simple, sit there through a certain proportion of the numbers, then guess the next number that is higher than all the previous numbers, if there is one. The chance that you will win with this strategy might be 1/e, and the proportion of numbers through which you should sit might be 1/e. It might be both. e is the sum of the reciprocals of the factorials of the nonnegative integers, approximately 2.718281828459045. . . In related news, the girl I was talking about a while ago is still in my life sorta I dunno might post if there's anything to post about. |
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p.s. Thanks Sarah. |
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the king is weary of dainty and such picking grievances: for he hath found to end one doubt by death revives two greater in the heirs of life and therefore will he wipe his tables clean and keep no tell tale to his memory thaty may repeat and history to his loss to new remembrance... like to a fangless lion may offer but not hold. (Second part of King Henry the Fourth IV, ii, ln somethingoranother like google. wtf. |
Perhaps we should discuss this. |
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