Happy. Jumpy. Impatient. Testy (not to be confused with anything derived from testes). Smiley. Cute. Sunny.

open genial tense underneath

fake happy. the happy where you're faking it and underneath are so freakin annoyed and dis-spirited it is driving those you live with nuts. also my sense of humour seems to have vanished. there is a reward. please email me if you find it. my life is unliveable without it.

Satisfied. Content. Optimistic. Yearning.

Lost, unsatisfied, foolish, like I'm missing something in life and I can't figure out what it is.

Wonderful. flying. extraordinarily happy. Giddy. Mundane. Pissed off. rejected. alone. unstable. insecure. worried.

Vaguely mildly happy. I also feel like I'm anticipating something, but I don't know what that something is. And I don't know if I'm looking forward to it or dreading it. But something is coming.

how can you be content and yearning? i feel like i'm about to be on fire. right there. on the edge of combustion.

Then take a bath for god's sake

simmering undercurrent of rage. I'd better get used to it, or try and ignore every thing El Bastardo does.

suddenly not hyper anymore.

i am slightly aggitated. my roommate tried to have a serious talk with me this morning before i had to leave for work. which sucks, because i love my job. how dare he upset me before i come to my favorite place?

I'm content with contradiction, Nate. Have you ever been overcome with a wave of emotion? Think of it as many waves in a superposition state. Or, you can just not think about it, and just be it.

How about a wave of mutilation? I'm feeling tired, but generally happy today.

Adventurous, spontaneous, devilish, mischievous. In no particular order. Oh, yeah. And horny. Let's not forget that one.

Explicitly mildly happy. Warm and soft and fuzzy. Good.

The shitbag came last night and took Alecia,I feel empty,rage,disgust and I feel mourning.Numb.

im angry, bitter, volatile, depressed, and hung over. A gallery show, 7 artist have been working on for 6 months, which was to go down this saturday.... the methhead, FUCK that was aour liasion to the gallery space called us sunday and said the space is not available. 6 months of intensive work, by 7 people, over $500 on postcards and postage spent....and countless hype spewed over the months...in no all havign to be reversed. talk about a kick in the nuts!!!

Pardon me while I interupt the thread a minute but I'm so pissed off right now,I've been trying not to start crying cause I feel like if I started ,I might not be able to stop.I've been trying to distact myself,but it's not working.Shitbag is a tweeker and now I see Patrick's been fucked by one I'm sure Lucy was tweeking when she flipped out on us,and my spawn has put me through hell with it.Meth is a shit,if anyone does it,they are shit,shitbags!!! I don't feel any better.

j.....

On the surface I'm pleased. They talked about some of my favorite things in my film class today (Sammo, the Gay Soap Opera, and we watched Ellen! I love Ellen!), plus I did some writing, which pleases me. underneath it all I'm sad about stuff and I'm not sure if I should let it alone or try and work it out. this is one time where trying to work it out might make it worse than it already is.

i'm feeling...like a go-getter. last night i finally got my boyfriend to call me (it was probably the message "hi david....i guess this is a bad time to call...i'm not going to call again...you have my number, so call me if you have something to say....bye"), half-finished my anth paper (a script with a song, no less! on common misconceptions of biology! you just try to explain evolution in rhyme!), managed to get 7 hours of sleep and have all my school materials, arriving in english on time (twice in a row! a new record!).... tomorrow's my birthday, and i only need to do my math and type my essay...whoohoo!

species change over time how's that hard to rhyme? although the only thing that rhymes with Darwin is "adaption of characteristics of the Marlin." Prehistoric camels gave rise to the llama now somebody better call my mama.

happy bday Pezzie

ploddy puffy persistent

I was thinking that over generations, species adapt to better interact with a 'ticular habitat The galapagos islands had some effect at least 'nuff to gain Darwin's respect? Mendel(?) grew peas to check crossing of phenotypes; Watson and Crick explained it's all really genotypes. I was also thinking that it's time to be a go getter. It's time to kick ass. I'm tired of sitting here on my ass, tired of hunting for a job. I want to contribute my 2 cents towards a happier world. So. If J and Patrick will kindly send me whatever info they have, I'll go purchase some ammo and see if I can't make the world a better place. yeah. an action movie is EXACTLY what I'm in the mood for. bang! bang! oh, ya got me, copper!

Unbeatable. bouncy. optimistic. unserated.

trigger hippie.

biggie dipper

estatic. for the first time, my feet didn't ache in ballet class. at least, not until we began to saute. methinks i have bad feet. other than that, it's my birthday and i'll scream if i want to.

i love tacobell ads.

possibly enamoured.

distracted, antsy, anxious. disconnected lonely

Torn. Anxious. Eager. Impatient. Like I want to grab someone's hands and squeal and twirl all around. Soft and melting and warm. Tired. Cat, excuse my dumbness, but did you mean unserated as in a knife?

You mean the ones with that little rat dog, Nate? Not me, I'm glad they fired him. Actually, I usually see those ads after I've eaten a huge dinner and they usually make me nauseous -- same with KFC ads, Wendy's, anything greasy.

naw, the new ones. they crack the fuck out of me. the food still looks nasty, and my rectum quivers and sweats with every chortle, but the ads are funny.

I always suspected your ass chortles,but was afraid to ask.

THAT make me sick more than any taco bell food. picturing nate's ass period. guy ass is SOO fucking ugly

lonely, self-doubt, fear. i want to run far away from everyone and everything i know. almost there. gotta keep my eye on the goal. why does it always have to be this way? it's pathetic what kind of stupid shit sparks these feelings in me, over and over again. bleagh.

i'm with you sarah. i get so upset with the slightest thing alters my outlooks for days on end.

this gallery show cancellation has put all of us into a fit of depression. nico is home sick with stress induced flu and on the verge of a nervous breakdown. now the bitch who cancelled on us is sending us emails playing the victim and altruist in the name of art. fucking bitch screwed with 7 artists lives in a seriously wrong way, not to mention the 500+ odd people expected to show up. we are going down there sat to hang out front with ass pockets full of whisky so we can personally apologize to the folks who haven;t gotten the word and hope they will come when we secure another gallery or loft.

got home from work last night. cried. got to work this morning. cried. now what?

go home and get drunk? where is the moon? why are so many having a bitch of a time at the moment?

Actually, I'm cruisin' along pretty good lately. Sorry to hear about y'alls' troubles though.

you know nate.....Januarys since i can remember have always been shitty for me. Finacially, emotionally and well....sexually. Angry sam, who is also a scorpio has made the same observation. perhaps January is a hard month for folks because of the sense of finalization December and the holidays can bring. End of the year, long breaks from work and school making it hard to get back in the swing of things, taxes are on our minds...the excessive drinking that proliferates during the holidays...sobering up, noticing we put on a few lbs making us feel like shit. nahhhhh this year and for the next 4 its GW's fault

I've always liked January. Seems like a beginning to me. And my birthday's in January. December on the other hand, and especially around Christmas, always has a little something of tristesse for me -- more like the ending of something.

i usually like january. i think i've been a little down because the kitchen is a mess and the rains have been late. we're off to a slow start. http://www.furball.com we got 17.54 inches of rain last Jan.

I always wanted that addy for myself. I wouldn't have put weather on it. Happy Australia Day mates!

What's Australia Day, Cat? Anything like July 4th for us? Throw a few roo tails on the barbie, block beer parties and fireworks?

yesterday was the new moon. here's a little tale that pretty much sums up my mood. hell, it could be a perfect little metaphor for my life: i was taken out to a really nice lunch today by a really nice guy who unfortunately drinks too much and smokes too much pot and has the nervous demeanor of a chipmunk. we talked a lot about his old housemate who coincidentally is coming to my house saturday night, and after a while he said he didn't want to talk about her, he wanted to talk about me. so he asked me about my housemate situation, and i talked for all of five minutes about my new housemate, and when i finished he asked me two questions, both of which were about things i had already said while talking about my new housemate. but he wasn't even listening. he wants to act like he is interested in knowing something about my life but can't be bothered to actually listen. why pretend? i mean, yeah, it's not that anything i was saying was that fucking riveting, but fuck almighty, why talk about me at all, let's just keep talking about his housemate. so then we switched topics. we talked about tequilla. his attention span was much better at least. poor pitiful me. wah wah wah.

If I keep working the hours I have done so far this year, it will be that every four-to-six weeks this company gets a free week of moonit-time. We are waiting to hear back from the big men whether or not we will get someone to help me I am seriously thinking of resigning. I dont get paid enough for the crap I do - but then who does. Last week I did a 15 hour day, where I stayed in the office, in my seat for the whole time* I dont have lunch breaks, I do far more than my job description describes, AND they have hired a new person to bring in new business which we honestly cannot handle. *this excludes toilet breaks of course but hey - I needed to make it dramatic

do you have stock options?

moonit, why are you doing that? should you be looking for alternative employment?

no way Nate. If we are very very good at the end of the year we get a bonus. Yippie fucken yay. My bonus at Xmas was about $500. No way begins to cover the extra time I spend slaving over my desk. Sarah I dont know. These past three weeks I have started wondering. I find out Monday if we get help or not - and I want a payrise either way - because its my area that needs the help - and I will be in charge *fingers crossed* If I don't get it then I think I will quit. Sometimes I think it would be nice to have a job with no responsibility. Or to be paid extra for the responsibility. I give up. I'm going to go and get mother fucked up now.

Right now I'm getting to the point where I just want to go and have one of my random whiffle beatings... I've done it a couple times where I just get stressed about life to the point of doing things that are rash and I walk downtown with a whiffle bat and takes swings at strangers. Not even a block from the police hall too... Boy can I be dangerous huh? No right now I'm looking for some word of some kind from the navy, if not that I'll probably submit to a couple places in NY and the place TBone works in Missoula, I need to get out of this hell hole... I guess the only thing else I'm waiting for that doesn't have a life changing affect on my life (or maybe it does hell I don't know) is the package from moonit. Whenever that comes screaming through montana mail, I'll be a happy camper so to speak.

Lonely. There are too many people in my house and none of them belong just to me. (Moonit, tell them to shove that job up their tightwad asses. Go somewhere you will be appreciated. Do it before they suck your enthusiasm away. You're not your happy self lately and no job is worth that.)

either that or just punch in and punch out at the appropriate times 9-5 or whatever your hours are. Start letting things go neglected. When they approach you, say "I have been telling you need support, you haven't given it to me, things we'll be overlooked. Are you actually bold enough to think im going to kill myself for my job for (insert pay amount here)?? That should wise them up. If they are going to fire you, you can at least be satisfied that they will really be screwed for help. You do have somewhat of an upperhand here moonit....they need you.

I like patrick's idea, its more devious.

i m not sure its devious. its actually quite straight forward and honest. I have had a similar situation here at work. People have quit or been let go and they haven't filled positions. they jsut keep piling it on others. Others who arent necessarily qualified for such work....and then they start fucking up, and the mgmt wonders why. I tend to take a teamster approach to these kinds of things. If an employer refuses to get the necesary help or pay for the necessary supplies, they deserve to get fucked. I also think no job in this world is worth kiling yourself for. Passions are, but day to day jobs for shit you have no vested interest in...fuck it.

patrick's right i think people respect you more when you stick up for yourself, make yourself a priority. of course, that is if you do good work- i'm sure it wouldn't work as well if you were a lazy fuck-up. if you are killing yourself, then the people you work for aren't doing their job either. i do kill myself and therefore i can't work for anyone that i don't respect a lot. i have a hard time letting things slide too. i'm going to have to work on that.

example.... recently the image quality has gone to shit in our mags. believe it or not, we care (supposedly) about image quality as we are the leaders in our mag genre. i went to my manager. He's a pussy and doesn't say anything...furthermore he is incompetent. So I say fuck it, I'll go to the publisher myself. I do, she says she's not worried about it...fine...keep on keepin on. She's not worried, I'm not worried. I made my objection...and when sales start reflecting this reluctance to pay for decent images and photographers.....they'll get theirs. I sure as hell am not going to get upset over it, or start working harder to maintain slipping sales to cover editorials ass.

it's not so good to point out problems unless you are offering potential solutions.

it's not so good to point out problems unless you are offering potential solutions.

THERE'S A FUCKING PROBLEM WITH THESE MESSAGE BOARDS.

solution->hire decent photographers...period. my job is newsstand sales. hiring photographers is not my job. selecting the good photos is not my job, but newsstand sales are. If i see something that could impede on my job, i bring it up and let those responsible find a solution.

he calls every day. EVERY FUCKING DAY. at least once a day. last saturday he called me five times. we are JUST FRIENDS. we are really good friends, oh how he treasures me as a good friend, our friendship means the world to him, don't we have such a great goddamned motherfucking friendship. people, hear me on this one. i don't talk to anyone every day, except maybe you folks. i don't talk to my very best friend every day. i don't even talk to her every other day, certainly not five times a day, and sometimes we only talk once a week. i need to let go. help me god. what is wrong with me? i need to walk away from this one. i must be the biggest fool. ever.

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY? WHY CAN'T THEY ALL JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE AND STOP FUCKING WITH ME? WHERE ARE THE REAL PEOPLE? ok. i feel better now. new mood: lunchtime!

shit sarah you dont even call ME five times a day.

I was offered a new job this week. On Tuesday my boss asks to speak to me, and tells me of this position in E-commerce they would like me to consider. It's mostly marketing, but also a chance to learn about this area. So I go to see the LIT manager, and he tells me what a fabulous job it is and how good I would be in it. Wednesday I was home sick, and the woman who has been filling in at this position, who is quite a good friend, calls and tells me to be very careful, and how much she hates specific things about the job, and how impossible it is. So I start thinking, why me? is it just because they see me as a cheap option who can be trained up before the other woman leaves? Thursday I have another meeting with the LIT manager, and he gives me the job description and contract to view. I say I have some concerns regarding pay etc, don't want a pay cut blah blah. I tell him I'll come back to him the next day with my questions etc in writing. Friday I go to see him with a list of specific questions, and he says yes to everything I ask for! even time in lieu for overtime! (which I think is actually against company policy). Anyway, by Monday he will have a written response to my questions. After initial hesitation, I think I will take it. It is at the same company, but gets me off the helpdesk. Plus, they have guaranteed it will not result in a pay cut once the job evaluations are completed. And, my new manager is likely to be the same person as my existing manager. I start on Feb 12th. Yay!

Well, since we're all bitching: There's always a silver lining. and vice versa: if the clouds silver, there's gonna be an unexpected proviso: the loophole through which SHIT comes and goes. The giant asshole of life. I've been given an opportunity to move to New York and be ridiculously happy, coming this May. I need to find enough money to move to the big apple by the end of may / beginning of june. right now, I'm unemployed and $200 in debt. I don't get it. I'm looking everywhere. Gave up on getting a real job; now I'm just looking for shit office work, data entry, retail, to tide me over for 4 months and make some money. nothing. all employment here is being sucked into some huge black hole of "not-Tom"

leave me alone.

Wouldn't dream of doing otherwise. Well, no. that's not true. I might dream about it. Can't really help that, though, can I? and the Doc says I ought to talk about that sort of thing. He says talking about it releases the steam, so I don't have to kill any more puppies, which is what got me into this mess in the first place. I mean, they just wouldn't leave me alone, and I was so frustrated, you know? and the voices! my god, the voices! And it barked at me, and I said "leave me alone," but it nipped at my heels, and I just couldn't help myself, so I kicked it; then I realized I was naked. Then the neighbor boy came out from behind the bushes. Yeah. and maybe, if I'd just had an outlet, I wouldn't've had to kill them both. But as it was, I didn't really have a choice. It wasn't my fault. I am only a victim, a product of my circumstances. I don't have any say here. I'm a robot. a Universal Automaton. Like Johnny said: "I've relinquished control of my insanity." Never could write love poetry, anyhow. Why bother? why try? Because I woke up one morning, and she said "I don't think you love me. I don't feel loved." and then she was gone. and then it happened again. So what? So do I care? did I? I can't remember. that sort of thing gets foggy. But this time, this one. yeah. different. So i'm trying to write the love poetry, so she won't go away, right? right? that's how it works, isn't it? I'm not allowed to keep pets, anymore. Doc says puppies might be, like, a trigger. But she left, and then they fired me. and I couldn't help myself. I needed release. Maybe I should learn art. everybody needs art, right? but what's art? I can cook already. does that count? well, maybe i can't cook. I can bake. I can make a grilled cheese sandwich. I can add, and spice. that's cooking, isn't it? but I can't paint. Painting seems like a different thing altogether from cooking. Are they both art? I don't get it. this whole thing. confusing. Maybe it's time? yeah, maybe it's time. I'm responsible for everything in my world. If everytime someone chooses the sack with the shit in it, instead of the sack with the pepperoni, but then we give them the pepperoni anyhow, have they really made a choice? So what if they weren't allowed to weigh the bags, or sniff the bags, or touch them a million times? so what if they couldn't be bothered to give these sacks that much attention, because the TV was on? this whole last bit, this paragraph... a Tom Robbins paraphrase. But it's real, and good. Are we destroying the validity of personal responsibility with bad (indiscriminatory) social welfare? I'm all for helping those who can't help themselves, but how many of those are there, really? Get my shotgun, ma. It's the first day of spring: open season on the LA freeways. that's from "LA story." Steve Martin: smart man. clever. intelligent. whatever makes smart. So let's raise our glasses, chums. To love, and the responsibilities to self that it entails. chum. isn't that the guts and nastiness that people throw overboard?

writing is nice, but poetry is not what makes you feel loved, well not me anyway. most boys inclined to poetry were somehow just creepy. "Are we destroying the validity of personal responsibility with bad (indiscriminatory) social welfare?" YES also when we don't trust anyone with responsibility also when we make lots of laws to protect stupid people [referring mostly to architecture here] also when we tell our kids that their opinion doesn't matter and 'we are always right'[a favorite of my father's] ...all the time basically.....

duly noted. You ever consider "bed" as a viable answer to the ageless question "what should I do now?" Hrm. I am assuming you're on the East Coast, but I don't know. My Sorabji Geography is horrible. I'm always getting corrected by people who know better. Yeah. Okay. So it's not poetry, specifically, that I'm aiming for. I just want to make sure, this time around, that I'm expressing myself better, yes? Because for so many people, saying "I love you," is easy to ignore. Economics bleeding into the rest of life. "I love you" isn't very scarce, so it isn't very valuable, in some heads. And because I can't peek in her head with 100% accuracy, I don't know. So I have to find other ways to show it, and tell it, both. Telling is the better option, since we suffer from a bad case of non-co-location. (1807.2 miles, according to mapquest.com) on the upside, she told me today that my voice in it's current mode was sexy. that mode being slightly hoarse and scratchy from this damned cold. 'sfunny. I quite smoking, and then my voice goes. hunh. I haven't really quit yet, I guess. I've had one cigarette since... last friday. so a whole week. plus some. I always lose it, though, and crash somewhere. Lately, I've been too broke to even think about buying shmogs, though. Damnit. It's only been a week. That's ridiculous. Last week this time, I was fast asleep in someone else's bed in Kansas. god damn... only a week. right. anyhow. guys who go around spouting poetry. Is it BAD poetry? yeah, probably. who's to say what's bad and what's good? me. you. the listener. the writer. the impartial observer. don't look now, but your suntan is slipping. So with these laws to protect stupid people. Where do we draw the line? Who's stupid? Who just made a mistake? What's too much? Even if it might save one reasonable persons life? Just curious. to save the world: take Sarah's (was it Sarah? some other thread.) millions, "dump them into education." but don't just dump them. I was railing about this on the phone. I think that if every student had a better grounding in the classics and the arts, lots of the problems we bitch about would just work themselves out. Lets END stupid people. Find some way to instill a deeper awareness of the world in all of our students, as a part of the "public" education process. oh: and: kill half of the people in the world to give the rest of us some breathing room. that might even work.

you're here too buddy...i'll sleep when i wanna sleep i wasn't trying to say that you are creepy- just don't try too hard on the poetry thing- if it isn't natural than, yeah, it's a bit creepy if you're trying than it will be evident 'school smart' does not equal 'not stupid' by that i meant people who expect the established rules about things to protect them. like lines drawn on full-length windows so that people won't walk into them. laws don't save people's lives.

well poetry is close to godliness or something. Stevens wrote poetry all his life, while vp of the Hartford, except when he was raising his daughter. He stopped writing from her birth until she left home...women... Frost never stopped loving words and women. They each are the flesh of the other. Unlike Stevens, Pack and Bell and Justice on the other hand, men who write poetry, have found that the love of god is equal to the love of words is equal to the love of good architecture and even to that of women and goats. Look at Strand's poetry, Sarah, and watch the movement from the sexy seventies when he was the darling of younger women admirers to now when he is beginning to mature. But what the hell do I know? I have no taste, or so I've been told. What the hell are you people talking about anyway? Men who write poetry write because they want to or have to or find meaning in it. Boys who write poetry want to get laid. (Rule 69783 from The Poet's Handbook) And Heather, sitting your beautiful butt in the cold crystal clarity of Falling Waters, aren't the rock/stone/water/gushing/rushing/otherworldly natures of that architectual gem poetic? In a word. Like Cat's rosy wallpaper and Patrick's way with skin and light and Nate's cunning linguistic arts. So what the hell are we talking about? You want that box of pics and stuff or not? Going to the highest bidder. Incriminating poetry for you all.

poetry is good "Boys who write poetry want to get laid. (Rule 69783 from The Poet's Handbook)" -this is what i was talking about- creepy

tom, you scare me. have you tried temp agencies?

urg. just what i need. i knew this was going to happen. and i let it happen. just like all the other times before. d dumped me. sure, i knew it was coming, i almost dumped him about a week ago, but that doesn't mean that i wanted it to happen...he's the only guy i've ever dated that truly respected me ("i am your slave" does not count as respect). my god, what am i going to do with my time? he told me that one of his friends told him to dump me on my birthday. thank god he didn't. * * * yikes. i'm glad i've never been in that position...sounds sucky. good luck.

tom... no poetry... i repeat... no poetry... I would post the one poem I have ever recieved - that I keep in my micky mouse ex boyfriend lunch box.... but every time i attempt to type the words I cringe and then burst out laughing. I'll give you guys the final line.... 'may we rot in the rose petals of love'. *yurgh* you can just imagine the rest of it. On a job note, I feel a lot better today - find out tomorrow whats gonna happen, my weekend of sex and sleep seems to have gotten rid of the tension. Yipppppie!

Find a man who writes poetry and he'll have goats. And the poem barnyard love.

Find a goat who writes poems and he'll have kids. Oh, yeah? Well fuck you too!

feeling kinda excited. My fortune cookie prediction that an exciting job would present itslef seems to be coming true. (See my entry in this date's WAYD) The cool thing about this company is that it's full of sci-fi fans. Example: in the interviwe, the last question the owners asked me was "You have to name your computer after a character from one of teh "Star Trek" series. Who would it be?" I replied that while I felt that babylon 5 was a much superior show than any of teh star trek series, I would pick The Doctor form Voyager. they didn't ask why, but I'll tell yuo guys, it's because he's always trying to become better than he is, and I really identify with that. I thikn he's the best character in that whole series, if not the whole Star Trek shebang. Anyway, Yee-Haw!

Thank you. I write em and (truthfully) don't have any goats. But I have a neighbor... What was the question? Yeah. Well Heather, my point was that there's a difference between the motivation of poet-men and poet-boys. And Antigone, I think Heather's point was that "poetry doesnt make you feel loved." which may be true in some if not most cases. But I wax serious. Hope every one is getting a little poetry today.

Barnyard love ????

five of my friends have gotten laid off in the last three weeks. five friends, four companies, three weeks. it's scary.

HI HO HI HO it's off with the goats I go, ...

Jazzed, I got the Network Securtiy Admin job at Whitman AFB I have been waiting for.

trace + security + US Air Force = get worry

Please don't be like the ones here, who avoid answering your questions in favor of threatening to revoke your internet priviledges because they don't want to admit they fucked up. Because I put a curse of persistent deep ear canal itching on all such people.

patrick, whatever.... Sem, I will never do anything like that

its a joke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no saucy "whatever"s from you today pal!

I'm sure he's just saving up all his sauce for you, mate.

A stranger once told me that his sauce was yellow. Offered to show me. I declined.

:-)

Just remeber, Whiteman is the home of the B2

yeah we thank the Reagan era for making the b-2 possible. Its a wonderful technologically advanced multi billion dollar aircraft . Too bad it sits in the hangar and collects dust.....oh wait....they did buzz the stadium in Tampa the other night and I believe it flew one sortie over Kosovoa and bombed an old lady with a banana cart.

Hey, when you have to bomb an old lady with a banana cart, only fly the best! BTW, that thing has been in development since the 60's

oh of course, but i think the Reagan administration finalized funding once all the testing was done and put it into full scale production for the airforce. i've been to air shows in Oshkosh, seen that fucker and the f117. fascinating shit, really it is. The thing looks like a bat in the air.

except not all floppy and shit.

yeah...

how can anyone say that Babylon 5 is better than Any Star Trek? I'm on the verge of losing all respect for you, Sem. Babylon 5 is soooo bad. holy moly, is it bad. It's almost as bad as the US version of "Queer as Folk". OH MY GOD, does that suck. I can't believe they let that guy live!! arrgghh!!

it's scientifically plausable? that's the biggest arguement i've ever heard from B5 fans. i usually walk away from such conversations, though. i've never really been into sci fi tv.

i've gotten drunk with a bunch of the crew from Babylon 5. they all agree star trek is more interesting.

Babylon5 was some of the best television, ever. I'm talking about the arc episodes, though, the ones JMS wrote himself. I've been watching the episodes daily on TNT for the past few months and it's amazing how cohesive the story arc is throughout the entire series. I'm a big trek fan too, but bab5 is on a completely different level. It's like comparing a series of loosely related one act plays to the Ring Cycle...

The B2 in the air is breath taking.

I'm glad someone is with me on Babylon 5. Star Trek is so predictable and utopian. The plots were so much deeper on that show than with ST. I wouldn't say it's more or less "scientifically" believable, but sociologically, it's way more believable than Trek. After a while, the people in the Trek series seem like daisy-sniffers, if you know what I mean.

craving, hunger, stomach. uh oh.

oh right! when you are hungry, eat. whew. (must remember that one for next time...)

I have a meeting tomorrow with another company.... eek!

what we need now is more daisy-sniffers

I'm feeling rather reeling today. confused. etc. sorry to everyone for the pointless email i sent out earlier. i need some ice cream.

no worries. we all get woozy after breakups. i wanted ice cream last night, but i stayed home and did situps instead because i have almost no waist and that combined with my fairly small bust and hips makes me look like a stick with a vagina, especially when i wear jeans and plain t-shirts and a belt. i don't have to worry about working out and eating right, because i don't eat all that much anymore, i've been taking that ballet class and pushing around roll racks...i just do some situps so my tummy isn't squishy. ick. i'm trying to love my body, but it's so hard when it's imperfect. i wish there was something i could do to improve my eyesight or strengthen my arches or something. body loathing.

i'm trying really hard not to loathe my ovaries.

I feel tired. Weary. Not enough sleep, too many skipped meals, too much beer after work, too many long days at the office. Like Elvis Costello's song, "Poor Fractured Atlas": But back at his desk in the city we find Our trembling punch-drunken fighter Who can't find the strength now to punish the length Of the ribbon in his little typewriter Poor Fractured Atlas Threw himself across the mattress Waving his withering pencil As if it were a pirate's cutlass I'm almost certain he's trying to increase his burden He said "That's how the child in me planned it; A woman wouldn't understand it"

fuck. i can't seem to drive today. when i do, it's maniac-style. at least my schoolwork is improving. i got the highest class score on my last two tests. what really makes me mad is that my vagina can't seem to make the decision to end my period. twelve days and counting. grrrr.

pez, i feel your pain, but in reverse. i can barely sit here, the constant dull aching pressure on my hip bones is slowly driving me mad.

Bored out of my fucking mind !

"Like Elvis Costello's song, "Poor Fractured Atlas" Wow, 2 years since I posted that. I still love that song. Too bad I'm away and don't have that CD with me. I brought with me on this trip "Best of the Chieftains", "Hard Day's Night", Brahms' Violin Sonatas, and Rachmaninoff's Vespers. But alas, no Elvis C.

In season

Pissed off that Andy wrote kay is in season