sorabji.com

does the length of time you've been here mean anything?

sorabji.com: The Stalking Post: does the length of time you've been here mean anything?

By Bronco betty on Thursday, February 1, 2001 - 10:45 pm:

do you get a gift certificate after a year, a watch after five?
or do you just get to not be called for lameness after awhile?
or what? i don't get it.
who cares how long you've been here? what does it signify?

By Sorabji on Thursday, February 1, 2001 - 11:07 pm:

i've been posting to these boards for 40 years

By dave. on Thursday, February 1, 2001 - 11:10 pm:

You get a free year's subscription after the first year. And your Mom gets a bonus bend-over from Swine.

By droopy on Thursday, February 1, 2001 - 11:39 pm:

and after that first year you can get a licensed physician to certify you as a "sorabjite", a mental disorder which makes you eligible for disability benefits. you also get a sticker with mark thomas' face on it that allows you to park in all the handicapped spaces.

By Antigone on Friday, February 2, 2001 - 12:09 am:

Um, dave...what did swine's mom get?

By dave. on Friday, February 2, 2001 - 12:12 am:

By Pug on Friday, February 2, 2001 - 09:29 am:

And if you're well-behaved, you'll get a really big, translucent rubber dildo the size and shape of somebody's forearm. With a pretty bow wrapped around it.
That's ONLY if you're well-behaved, though.

By semillama on Friday, February 2, 2001 - 09:33 am:

However, if you are still lame after a year, then there's nothing we can do about it.

By JusMiceElf on Friday, February 2, 2001 - 11:12 am:

Except deliver custom ass kickings, rather than off the rack.

By Czarina on Friday, February 2, 2001 - 11:19 am:

Last year for my bonus,I got clubhouse passes for the annual dildo races.Mine didn't cum in though,but I still had a titillating time.[And some twit stole my bumper sticker.]

By patrick on Friday, February 2, 2001 - 11:53 am:

I'm just here to get the free tennis shoe phone. It's been 17 years....i don't think its in the mail like they tell me.

By Nate on Friday, February 2, 2001 - 12:51 pm:

ahem,

fuck you, you ass.

By patrick on Friday, February 2, 2001 - 01:16 pm:

you gotta do better than that man

By Nate on Friday, February 2, 2001 - 01:31 pm:

not really. i've been doing it that way for 19 years.

By Dougie on Friday, February 2, 2001 - 01:33 pm:

Reminded me of the NY lotto ad where the guy walks up to the microphone and says, "Ahem. The lotto jackpot is now...eighteen Millll-ion dollars"

By Platypus on Friday, February 2, 2001 - 02:20 pm:

I didn't get a watch, that's all I know.

By Cat on Friday, February 2, 2001 - 05:10 pm:

Now I know why my mother keeps insisting I continue to post here.

By Pug on Friday, February 2, 2001 - 05:14 pm:

The truth can be a pretty gruesome thing.

By Dougie on Friday, February 2, 2001 - 06:45 pm:

So whaddya say, Bronco Betty? Gonna stick around? What's there to get? Nothing signifies anything here, and the water's fine, so dive right in. Just try not to be lame.

By Hal on Friday, February 2, 2001 - 07:54 pm:

Well its been about 5 years now, and well haven't gotten a damn thing. Wait thats not true, I think it comes down to other sorabjites. You have to get "tight with the homies" and then if you send them stuff they'll come visit you, and use all your toothpaste, and mess up your bathroom, and eat all your food, and then maybe they'll leave you something like maybe a floater...

Its a dignified honor.

By Dougie on Friday, February 2, 2001 - 08:02 pm:

By Hal on Friday, February 2, 2001 - 08:17 pm:

The excrete submarine galore.

By Pug on Saturday, February 3, 2001 - 09:24 am:

By Hal on Saturday, February 3, 2001 - 03:55 pm:

By Nate on Monday, February 5, 2001 - 12:51 pm:

i wouldn't have crapped in your sink if you'd had more beer in the fridge.

By Hal on Monday, February 5, 2001 - 02:07 pm:

There was beer in the fridge, it was in the one downstairs... Thats the beer fridge, you were probably looking in the beef fridge.

By Z on Tuesday, February 6, 2001 - 12:26 am:

i oughta stay here more often!

i found a cool mark thomas reference in the school gym: some kid back in the 70's named mark thomas had a record for the long jump or something...i still have to take a picture of that.