Well, do any of you remember the stuff I used to say about Annie, my wife's sister who had a baby and had no business having a baby because she could not even change a litter box? I think I told you all that one day her mom came downstairs to the basement apartment they were mooching in and found a pacifier taped to his mouth so he would be quiet? Or maybe I told you about the time my wife had to take christopher and annie to the hospital because "the baby was not doing anything but crying, and would not eat"? That one turned out to be that the nipple was so plugged with mold that the formula could not get through. And when the hospital called to check on annie (part of a weekly thing they were doing) she told the nurse that called that she is so frustrated that she could "choke something"? The nurse said to bring the baby in immediately. They, of course filed a report with DFS (division of family services). They scheduled an emergency crisis evaluation, but annie's mom cut them off at the pass by calling dfs and saying everything was fine, and they bought it. he has a flat head from his parents leaving him in the car seat ALL DAY LONG. I myself was over at erin's folks, on the top floor, and I could hear him scream in the basement apartmentbecause he was in the car seat, and all annie would say is "Oh, get over it". He is 3 months behind developmentally, In the mean time, annie, her idiot husband (idiot for marrying her) mike, and, regrettably, Christopher have been kicked out of annie's parents due to the fact that annie got fired from work after one day for stealing $107.00, (first day she worked in months since being fired from schlotzky's for repeated calling in sick and being seen getting her hair done, shopping at wal-mart, etc.) mike quitting his job at the same place annie was fired from, and general nastiness in house keeping and not paying any rent and not doing any of their chores that off set paying rent. Well, they moved in with a family that was going to let them mooch for 3 months (housing only, no financial support and no food). Mike, by some unknown unfair miracle, found a job that pays 9 dollars an hour, he works three days on and 1 day off, at 12 hours a day, with, of course, overtime for anything over 40 hours in a week. UPDATE: Well, just last night, erin's dad got a call at 2:15 am from Children's Mercy Hospital. It seems that christopher some how got a skull fracture, and the family that letting them mooch called the cops. mike was at work, so annie was arrested. Christopher is 8 months old, born on 10/29/00. Annie's story is that she did not put the railing all the way up, and some how, the 8 month old, developmentally retarded baby got out of the crib and fell on the floor. If that was the case, what the fuck? The lady that they are staying with found him in his crib with the laceration, laying in his own blood. She asked annie what happened, and annie fed her that line of bull shit. Mike was at work when this happened I guess. So, the lady, suprising smart after letting these mooches in her home, called the cops. Annie has been arrested and has been kicked out of the house she lives in. When annie's mom was told, at 2:30 am, right after annies dad got off the phone with the cops at the hospital, she said "what daughter" and then got up, got ready for work and went (this all happened this morning). Mike has been interviewed by the doctors and the cops and is now also not allowed anywhere near the baby. Annie is facing criminal charges. Beyond any comprehension, annies dad bailed her out, but left before they let her out. No one knows where she is. If she runs, and does not go to court, which i think is a no brainer, she will, then he gets to pay whatever money is due the bondsman for her skipping (i personally hope the bondsman finds her ass and gets her himself). However, if Annie did do something out of anger to him, which I think is what has happened, then it is possible that she is dumb enought to attempt to kill herself. I TELL YOU, PARENTS FROM HELL

The question has been posed: "I was completely amazed,that someone,who loved and cared for his family so much,could simply stand by and know this was happening to this innocent child,and not do anything about it.I'm sorry,but I have a real problem with this.I work in the health care field,and I unfortunately see the end result of this type of neglect/abuse.In this case,you were one of the "societal influences" I referred to earlier.What if your intervention could have spared this child this abuse?" Answer: Daily double. We (erin's dad and I) moved them out three weeks ago. I helped so I would know where they were living, and then we could relay the address to dfs. The thought had been up to that point that the only reason they were allowed to stay at erin's parents was that way they could make sure christopher was being taken care of. Erins mom had said on several occasions that they would kick annie and mike out and keep the baby. Erin's mom snapped one day and kicked all three out and said "not my problem anymore". We were, of course, very concerned for the baby's wellfare. Erin's folks continued to provide food for the baby, just not the parents. We had no contact with Annie or Mike save for last week, when mike showed up at our door begging for food. We gave him some ramen out of the cabinet and some cereal that we got from WIC that the kids would not eat. This was thursday. mike told us that annie had been to the hospital complaining of back pain due to having christopher, and now, even though she is on the shot, she is still having periods, so the doctor supposedly put her on total bed rest for back muscle pain. What the fuck ever.... I think she stopped getting the shot and maybe got herslef knocked up, and annie and mike are afraid to tell anyone. Anyway, we have been doing all that we can. We have talked to social services, the hospital filled out a report and turned it into dfs, you name it. We have not been sitting idly by. DFS out here does not do anything until the child is dead, literally. There was a case where a mother who had been visited several times by dfs and social services for child abuse ended up killing her kids by boiling them alive in a bath tub in Kansas City. They simply do not do anything, period. IF dfs had intervened while they were at mom and dads, and took christopher, then legally mom and dad would beconsidered contributing factors. we wanted christopher to stay in the family

that's fucking shitty, trace. i don't even know what else to say.

i dont know what to feel, except sorry that christopher is the victim in this. an 8 month old baby. annie will probably end up in prison, and we all know what happens to women like that in prison. more power to her. mike will probably divorce her and go on with life. no doubt he will not get his son back. he maybe had nothing to do with this last incident, but we did talk to him on several occasions in the past. i feel as the baby's father and her husband he does bear some responsibility in this. i want to take christopher into our house and raise him as mine, but i do not want annie or mike to have any contact with him until he is an adult, and expresses a desire to meet them. i dont know what to say about erin's parents. but the non action in the past cannot be excused or forgotten. and if annie does injure herself or commit suicide in some ultraistic "i'll show them" action that she is famous for (she has the maturity level of a 13 year old), like some kind of "pity me" trip, then I dont think I have the capacity to care at this time

Trace, what's your wife like? Level-headed or latently psycho?

I have to say level headed. I know she is not her mom or sister, if that is what you mean.... email i just got from my wife: Hi love, Dad called. Annie and Mike are currently in a meeting with the DFS Caseworker. There will be a hearing tomorrow morning to determine who gets him. Mom is going to make sure that if Mike doesn't get him, he doesn't go to anyone in Mike's family. Dad said that he and Mom thought the best thing to do was for Mom and Dad to take him, cuz they have the extra room for him and the $$ for clothes,etc. and when they are at work, I would have him and they would pay me for babysitting. The skull fracture is 7-10 days old, so it didn't happen yesterday. There is no internal bleeding on the brain. There appears to be no concussion at this point. He is functioning normally and is awake and happy. No one can go to the hospital, still. I want to go to the hearing tomorrow, regardless and do what I can to make sure that he stays with our family, whether it be Mom and Dad or us. I'll talk to ya later.

So she gets her rationality from her dad? Or did she straighten herself out? Family systems are fascinating.

She takes more after her dad then her mom

Let me add that now, as far as I am concerned, Mike is just as guilty. The doctors found multiple bruises, internal hemoraging (not on the brain), broken blood vessels on his face and lips, and scratches. Mike should have done something the first time. A skull fracture that is 7-10 days old????

On an 8-month-old baby. I'm really sorry, Trace, and I hope your parents-in-law get custody. Some people are monsters.

Amen

That crazy bitch would be doing the world a favor if she killed herself and Mike is just as guilty.I myself would like to kick her ass so hard, that she'd have to lift her hair up to take a shit.I hope you can keep him with his family.

i'm sorry trace. that poor baby. what are the chances of your family being able to adopt the child into your family? is that a commitment you would be willing to make? are the grandparents capable of raising the child in a loving and responsible fashion, or are they wacko too?

We want to adopt him, and I would be willing to make that commitment, as long as the father is proven unfit. if he can be helped, then that is what I would prefer. I love the boy like he was my own, as I was only able to have girls (dont get me wrong, I love them to death), and he is such a good baby. But I would still be happy to just have him as a nephew (after all, you can send them home when they get too fussy)

well, what do you think of the dad? do you think he can be helped?

I think so, yes.

but my question is, do you think he really did not notice any thing wrong with him?

i don't think your question matters, trace. if he didn't notice anything wrong, what kind of dad is he? if he did, what kind of dad is he? if someone fractured my child's skull, i'd kill her.

You are correct, what I was trying to answer in my mind is, I guess, is should he be held accountable to the point of not allowing him ever see his kid again (which should be the case with annie), or should he go to some kind of parent education deal, with supervised visitation for a while, and eventually get his kid back? Melinda, Marty, Erin and I have retained an attorney, and he wants to know what direction we want to go in. Full revocation of rights or temporary custody? I was for full revocation for both of them, because in my mind there is no excuse for not getting christpher some help, regardless of what annie told him (annie being a known liar), but he did not even ask. When I cornered him in the bathroom and asked him, he said he did not even notice. But, the look in his eyes... his eyes were so blood shot and swollen, he just looked like a mess. Unlike Annie, who only said "I didn't do it". Not "what the hell happened to my baby! Who did this? Why are you taking the baby away from me when he needs me most?" Annie is guilty of abuse, maybe even attempted murder (you have to hit baby pretty hard with a blunt intrument to cause that kind of damage to the soft, plyable skull), without question. But, is Mike guilty of aiding and abbetting because he did nothing? Maybe so. Maybe I am being to easy on the guy. Ignorance of the law is not excuse. How can you not notice something is wrong, even you do not know what it is???

I say revoke his right too,if he's that much of a vegetable,he shouldn't be around kids.Period.

You have a big heart for wanting to give this guy a chance, Trace, but I think you answered your own question. How could you not know? Both parents are unfit. Both should be tied to that big wheel thing like in "Conan the Barbarian" for a long long time.

My mind is mush. I can't think much more about this, I am going crazy. erin's mom is now doing a 180, and is talking about forgiving annie and letting her move back in with them. what the hell? does melinda actually think she would be showing dfs that she is a good mom by letting annie move back? dfs TOLD MIKE TO HIS FACE that if he expected to see christopher again, he has to divorce annie. why would mom think that the same thing would not apply to her? and absolutely, i have made my mind up, and mike is just as guilty. there is no way in hell any caring parent could not notice bruises and scratches, let alone a huge lump on his head. i am sure dfs and all of those guys know what is up, and I will just sit back and whatch these guys burn themselves. i will be happy to answer any questions they have about annie and mike and melinda. i want christopher away from those two at the least.

Your mother-in-law sounds pretty goofy too.

I think she has problems. now erin's dad is talking about forgiving her as well. And the cops haven't even finished their investigation yet!

Well, now I know she has flipped. she is letting annie move back in. as far as i am concerned, the only time she gets to see her grand daughters is at our house. as long as annie lives there, the girls will not go there.

do you intend to fight hard for custody? send me an email, trace.

as long as i am not alone

Hi Trace. Just wanted you to know that I know something about what you are going through right now. My son David, who is now seven years old, was physically, mentally and sexually abused by his mother (though I hesiate to use that word) and her fucked up family. I just got custody of him this past December. My advice is this. Don't give up fighting. This child has a right to a life free from pain and suffering. I know that you are a good person. DSS all aover the country operates like the one you are dealing with right now. Call them everyday. Bug the shit out of them. Document your every movement, and all interaction that you have had with the abusive parents. Give that to your lawyer. Stick in there man. I know that its hard, believe me. Some people deserve a fucking crucifixtion you know. I hope that things work out for you. Jah Bless-

Thank you Skooter. And we are going to hang tough. I just have to keep reminding myself of Christopher, and forget the rest.

Oh, and congratulations on having your son home, dad. He is a lucky kid to have a father like you

I was doing some thinking and now I am really scared. I think I know why this happened to Christopher. Annie was kicked out of her parents home for not paying rent, lazing around the house, getting fired a couple of times for deceit and/or theft, and general household nastiness. Her and mike had to find another set of suckers that would let them mooch. They found the Greens. Hitch: Greens are Seventh Day Adventis and required Annie and Mike to abide by their beleifs (which is not unfair, as they were living under the greens roof for free). Annie did not like living with the Greens. She would have to work. The Greens were not feeding them or giving them money, and she was not allowed alchohol (one of the astounding stupid things they have done is spend their last $100.00 at the grocery store. on booze. there was no food in their apartment). so she wanted to go back to mom and dads. Her thought process: If there is something wrong with Christopher, maybe Mom will let me move back in. She inflicted the injuries for the attention again. Maybe she was trying to kill him so she could say he fell out of the crib (why she refused to raise the railing on the crib like healthy families suggested). It did not have the effect she wanted (the baby was still alive), and she was scared to take him to the hospital, so she said nothing. Side n

Trace, why she did what she did isn't all that important in the span of things. It is an unrational behavior. No matter what, you as a rational person won't be able to make sense of it. Thanks for the nice remarks. You are not alone. You are doing the right thing here. It's sick I know. Thank goodness for people like you and your wife. Hang in there bucko.

Trace, I wouldn't beat yourself up about what could have been prevented or why it happened. It's easy to do, I know, but in the long run its not productive. Like skooter said, document everything, even if you have to document when you may have hesitated to do something, because helping Christopher NOW is what is important. The more information you give the social workers, the better chance they have to act. Skooter and I fought for a full year before before the courts finally stopped entertaining the idea of reunion with David's biological mother. At the beginning it was really rough because skooter took heavy fire from every side. He was accused of being a deadbeat dad just because he had separated from the mother and didn't conceive any of the degenerate stuff she was capable of. If you stick to your guns the truth (on everybody's part) will come out in the end.

I'm not backing down, I just can't help trying to understand WHY this was done....

I had to stop trying to understand WHY. There is no why, and it hurts too much.

I know you all are getting tired of this subject, so I am going to make this my last post on it..... Melinda is now of the opinion that it was the 13 year old daughter of the greens that did it all. Even though they left that sunday evening, and when they came back annie ran out the door saying she was bringing food to her husband, and they went down to get the baby and saw the injuries, then called the cops, that it had to be the daughter, and annie could not do such a thing. She is letting annie come over to her house tonight to do laundry and spend the night and whatever, and tuesday she is taking annie to the foster home to visit christopher. Erin is done with this. She is washing her hands of the whole thing. I do not want to abandon Christopher, but since I am just involved in this via marriage, I am not sure what else to do. I am broken hearted, and lost.

This post sums up what Melinda is doing.

oops not the baseball post, this one. sorry.

I am getting erin to change her mind, I think

OK, quick update. They are dropping municiple charges against annie. so they can pursue STATE charges. they have withheld the right to re-instate municple charges if they can't get the state charges to stick. They have appointed a public defender for annie, and set the trial back one month. Meantime, they (dfs or cps, depending on where you are) is wanting to place christopher in erin's folks house within a week.

tell us what this means to you. how you feel about this.

wow. that makes mine sound like saints almost.

i'm not sure yet.