then why you on your own tonight? . it's not over. it has started. it has started. i tried to sleep. i'm drinking the rest of this wine, instead. mmmm. bottle two, nice grapes from near the prison. excellente. solitude. im jsut benig a rbat a rabbit? brat, but rabbit goes better with grasshoper and it made me laugh. . drunk nate. reminds gee of a boy she used to know. where is gee? gee! probably not anymore. different drunk nae. nate. hm. amen. i just read where dougie took his first steps into sorabji land. and remember when pdogg was accustat? fucking a. i've had a lot of wine. my mouth will be dry when i wake up. my shit will be red. dark purple, at least. like you all wanted to know. goddamnit. remember when i moved in you and the holy dove was moving too. i'm full of jeff buckley and morrisey. fucking pussy ass crap that this is. the voices are tearing a rift in my soul. i am. as i climb into an empty bed. i am sad. she is gone. the Will what an incredible . . . i'm drawn to perfection while the rest fall prey to entropy. i puff up to astounding dimensions, filling rooms with self. with self as she fills rooms with self and we fill spaces in mystical ways. she wants to write lists of impossible tasks. she wants to find ways to accomplish impossible tasks. she wants me to join her. she wants me. hand in hand i dream of us accomplishing. living without the demonic culture of boredom. living without the restraints of the american farce. living and living and living. living loudly when appropriate. living with grace and deed and pleasure. living living living. i want this though i do not understand how. i want this though i cannot explain the ferocity or the passion. i want this i want this and i will hve this though it does not make rational sense. though it does make sense. the Will is the sense the Will is the everytime everyplace everyThing. trust the Will. it's time to break my knees into genuflection . render my ego into soap, clense my face and break my fingers on the ice within my skull. i have human qualities, they deserve air. i am the man i believe i am. she sees it. she sees everything. she sees me and knows my strangest parts. my throughly odd. she wants me to be me. to be the person who in the past has never been normal enough. who has never been appreciated in common life. she wants this. she desires the honest reflection of myself. what could be better than this? what could be more important. and her. i am aglow. i am addicted to brilliant women. i am addicted to beautiful women. i am addicted addicted addicted. she thinks marvelous thoughts. marvelous beautiful thoughts. 'when you figure out you can have whatever you want it is really the funniest joke because you don't want anything anymore.' i want her i want her i want her. i am amazed. dazed. dazzled. still! and she has fucking turned my world on end. . what if? this is incredible. .. |
eat a booger. |
Hurts, don't it? |
and it's good to see you back from the role of sorabji.com's favorite pussy. your soft edges were beginning to irritate me. |
over there. i had purple tongue and my head is still foggy. |
i certainly need a lot of water at the moment. |
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"living without the restraints of the american farce" I think the only ones here who actually achieve that are the Amish. |
christ. no wonder the man had the blues. |
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my farce is realer than the day you were born a ha. a ha ha ha. |
I know how you feel Nate (or at least I assume I do with my latest problems in the field of letting someone go who I never should have let go.) |
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ouch, i felt that. |
When I say let her go, she was never mine, she never belonged to anyone, and I constantly told her that. When I say let her go I mean let my heart release its hold on something, more a feeling for her then anything, I didn't let her go I just had to let my obsession with being the perfect person for her go. If you want a good explination of how I'm feeling right about now (because I am having some serious problems right now) read a book called the BIG U by Neil Stevenson and pay close attention to Casmier Raydon, and Sarah. You'll understand that I feel much like Casmier right now. |
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I know who needs the kicking and it ain't J. |
J you first and foremost, I realize that you meant no diservice to me, and for my words I apologise. I know better, I've been talking to Pez for the last couple days and it seems to have made my week better. I'm here at work right now its 6:17 am, I didn't sleep last night AT ALL... I probably won't get out of here till about 4, I was here at 5. In anycase I've learned a little humility over the last week. More from the people I see daily then anything but I realized this morning that I've treated some of you with some malice that was not deserved. For this I am sorry. |
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how's the sleep-free day going? |
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