Not that anyone else in the world except for me cares about my little insignificant "problems," but, I am going to post them anyway. Let's establish a few things quickly...I am a high school senior, soon to be 18, honor student, with a part time job at a crappy pizza place. My life is glamorus! I know that living at home isn't that bad, and everyone tells me to milk it as long as I can, but I don't want to be like my brother, and still have the umbilical chord attached at 21 years old, living in mommy and daddy's garage...what kind of life is that? Moving on...my family has recently begun the process of kicking me out. Every day is an argument about money for college, grades, my job, my boyfriend, you name it, and if I am involved then more than likely, there is something wrong with it. Today my mother took me and my brother out for dinner, I made a comment about my brother still living at home, and he got upset. At the table he became Mr.Philisophical, and then he became Mr.Angry Man, shaking, little drama queen, telling me that if I was a boy he would beat the shit out of me...how mature. My mother of course backed him up, but told me to shut up...this is also a lovely scene for everyone else in the resturant, including our waitress, the former friend of mine who dropped out of school when we were sophomores. On the ride home my mother told me that she would teach me how to pack my clothes...ahh..how helpful mommy, now retract your claws. Imagine that, me, not knowing how to pack my own clothes...all of which I bought myself because she refused to. On top of all of this, I have a boyfriend who is sexually "confused" and this of course, is no picnic either. After about a year and a half of dating me, he tells me he is leaving me, to decide what he wants, that was in may of last year. Needless to say, we got back together, because he missed me, and told me that he was no longer confused. Then about a month or so ago, he tells me that he has been talking to some people on the internet, and he thinks he wants to meet one of them. Of course I object because I had been under the impression that his chat room habits were done. Oh, I forgot to mention that he realized he was bi after he broke up with me the first time. Anyway, I left him after I found out about the internet thing...and he spent weeks begging me to take him back, and my insecurities aided in me taking him back. Now, Sunday, he tells me that I am too "bossy" and I try to control him, so it is not working. The next day, I laid out of school and went to see an old "flame," and...there will be no details. So the next day, my ex wanted me back...and now...he is begging again...and I took him back. But since my mom is kicking me out, and my boyfriend thinks (still) that he might be gay, I am moving out, and in with the flame.

and you need us to what? help you move? take your ex to see Rent? give your mom valium? show your brother there is life after Star Trek?

Like some schmuck said, "A Bisexual is someone who can put their hand down anyone's pants and be happy with what they find." Think about that.

my standard free advice: (1) quit school, work, etc... (2) sell your body (3) become a junkie if you need any other advice, you know where to find me.

Go move in with pez.

I am so glad Enterprise will be on the air. That means life will still exist when I am 30. I still live at home. Of course, I spend most of my time at college. I'm 24. I like women. LS

i think Lone Stranger is the guy for you, Star. I really do.

Yup. He's your man alright.

if you take my advice (see step #2 above) you will meet many men nightly.

He knows what he's talking about.

Can someone fill me in on why parents are getting rid of their kids right after high school? This bothers me. My aunt made my cousin move out right after her 19th birthday (Happy Birtday Katie) and now she works 2 jobs just to pay bills. No money or time for college. Katie never got into any trouble that wasn't encouraged by her parents. Yeah, she drank (at home with mommy) and smoked pot (with mommy and step-daddy) and had sex with her boyfriend (but used birth control). She wasn't by any stretch of the imagination a bad kid. Star, can you relate to any of that? Also, this boyfriend thing. If he isn't sure whether or not he is gay, then wouldn't it make sense if he took some time away to explore that side of him and really take a deep look? I know that confronting one's sexuality can be a very difficult thing. Maybe the best thing is to step back and be the one he can talk to. The one he can brainstorm with. The one he can soul search with. Then both of you would have a clear understanding of what he is going thru and he wouldn't have to go thru it alone. Just thoughts.

how long do you suggest they extend childhood? into the 40's? i tell mine that the are on the 18 & out program. when i was a kid my parents told me that at 18 you are either going to be in college, the military or your own apartment. i picked the air force then college, then work, then college again. they did the best thing any parent can do...boot'em out of the nest and force them to become responsible citizens. childhood keeps getting artificially extended and we raise another generation of self centered crybabies.

my folks said that the second i got into college, i was gone. no more free ride at home. well, i graduated early, so i was tossed out at 16. i don't regret it. one more minute at home would've been intolerable, anyway. holy shit, was i ever unprepared for life on my own. still, i had a great time of it.

You guys had college as an option. That is the difference. Katie has no chance of starting college any time soon because all she does is work work work. I just think they should have left the door to college open. I just think it would have been better off if they let her sleep there while she worked her way through college. As far as how long should childhood be extended? Until your children have been prepared enough to take care of themselves. Sometimes 18 is the mental equivalent of 12 and sometimes 15 is the mental equivalent of 20. I simply think you should keep your children's options open to them, not wipe their ass for them, but maybe help them accomplish things they might not be able to without a little help.

if Katie makes the effort, there is no reason why she couldn't loose one of the jobs and head to college on loans and grants. If she's determined enough she can do it. Anyone can put themselves through college without parents help. Community colleges are terribly damn convenient for the working. If 18 is the mental equivolent of 12 to a person, he or she should have special needs to begin with.

I been on my own a long time my parents kick me out when I was still little we was all gone way early they tell me when I am 12 do not eat your food here theres not enuf to go around like there was much food to start with. I already stop comeing home much by then anyway. And, after i found a way to make $$ I just sleep at home but dont eat there. Then they get pissed they grab me they say don't you come back and I say fine and that was it but for a real rare visit now I am gone for good and so is my baby bro. Now my life is great I have a great new home.

I was on my own a bit early but it wasn't anything like the kid's situation, above. My parents both died on me. First Mom and then Dad. I was the only child. There was nothing left to do but live on my own, which I had largely been doing anyway. I hung around long enough to get a high school diploma and then got the hell out of Dodge. Never looked back.

I think that's something that a lot of parents don't prepare their kids for. Some parents act as if they're going to live forever. By a certain age kids have got to know how to fend for themselves.

I sucked off my parents as long as I could,and I pretty much took advantage of the situation. Ah,those were the days of wine and roses. Autonomoy is important. Patricks right. It is very possible to work and go to school.Its not easy,but its possible. Sometimes kids are real annoying,and thats why parents are ready for them to leave the nest.

Okay...a few days later...I finally get a moment away from work and school to tell you guys that my mom is letting me stay until I am 18, so that she doesn't get thrown in jail for neglect...and my dad, who was mad that my mom told me to leave, told me that he would build me a house on some of our land, if that would get me to stay around here...I might take him up on it, but the bad thing about living in close proximity with my family is that no matter what, I would still be paranoid that my parents would walk in on me having sex, or drinking, and be disapointed in me. I never want my parents to disaprove of me because of their own belifs (which are totally different from mine), but my mother already dislikes the fact that I told her straight up when I was 13 that I wasn't going to go to church anymore because I didn't even know if there is a god...and it is very hard to tell a southern, old-fashioned, very religious christian woman that even though she did her best to keep you in church for 13 years, at least twice a week every week, that you don't think god is there, or that you don't care much less disaprove of gay people, that sex before marriage isn't something to be hostile about, or deprive yourself of. I wish I could just tell her...mom...I am drinking...but only every 6 months or so, and responsibly, mom, I have done almost every drug imaginable, and don't regret it, mom, I have had sex...a million times over, but only out of deep feelings, and only with 2 people, mom, I do still have morals even though I don't go to a brick building twice a week, and I don't feel the terrible urge to read a bible, or pray. If I only had the guts to tell her all that...but then she would probably hyperventilate, and kill over, and I would be left feeling really crapy. And on the boyfriend front...he is, for the time being, just my friend, as he will always be no matter what he choses. And my brother...still at home with no intention of moving out. And...Lone Stranger...*kisses*

"I sucked off my parents as long as I could,and I pretty much took advantage of the situation." uh. what?

Uh, Star, before you were talking about having your mother's claws in you, so maybe you should think twice about living at home, even if its a separate building. Would you be paying rent? because if not, then its really not your own place. It sounds to me like you need to get out of the house soon and live independently. You resent your mom's proximity, but you're still whining. I would say you need to prove to yourself that you are capable of living on your own.

I did that whole live in a separate building, pay them rent, have my own place on their property thing. It really sucked. I did that as soon as I got out of high school. My own place or not, they were in my face constantly. Still said they had the right to lay down the rules, because it is their property. Still snuck in and snooped. Got into my bank statements, my bills, my paycheck stubs, by refrigerator (I only snuck booze down there twice in 5 years out of fear). Constantly yelled at me about not keeping it clean enough (as if their place was clean). After I had Hayley, my sister would break into it after I left for work and steal Hayley's baby food and baby clothes (which she would cut up and make blankets for her Briar Horses out of), steal my cosmetics my clothes family heirlooms or whatever she wanted. My parents didn't stop her, even after I changed the locks. When I finally moved out (after spunky and I got married) we moved 1,600 miles away, and for the first year they flew out here to tell us how horrible a job he was doing. It was hell. We finally got them to respect us as adults, even though the strongly disagree with me staying home to take care of the kids. It took me many years to get the balls to stand up to my mother and her views. She and I are very much polar opposites. She doesn't go to church any longer (a rebellion of her mother). She believes that you yell at kids and beat them to get them in line. I disagree on so many levels. She drinks far much more than I do. She is very much a tomboy and I have always been very feminine. Finally I just looked at her and told her that she could rant all she wanted, but it didn't change how I felt or what I was going to do. Her ranting and raving didn't change my thoughts or feelings and wouldn't change my attitudes or actions. I still do that pretty often, and I have figures some things out about her that make it easier to tell her what she wants to hear, or putting the same situation in a certain light to make it so that it makes sense to her. I have learned NEVER to go to her for advice (it is always the same and predictable and a waste of time). All I can say, is being in the same situation for 5 miserable years (because I listened when she told me that I couldn't do it on my own) was a huge mistake. Once I got out of there I realized that I never want to go back again. Leaving was the best thing I ever did. Distance has been great. (Another perk to San Antonio). It sounds to me like you are really looking to discover who you are as a person and how you are going to make your life work for you. I can tell you from personal experience that it won't happen in a house on their property. They will have too much of their influence there and you won't have emotional room to grow and make mistakes and do all of the things you need to do to figure out who you are and who you want to be. Please don't make my mistake, and stay until you beat yourself down and don't think you can do better. Get out. Find you. Do what you want to do and what you need to do. You will be happier, and stronger. Independence is unbelievable liberating.

Hmm...

uh huh.

Yes...that was my boyfriend posting...how considerate of him to leave such an impacting message...thanx pookie butt...and on the other hand...let me say...I have no clue what I am going to do after graduation...

I think rejecting your parents' religion is a natural thing at a young age. Hell, it's a natural thing anytime. I mean, who are they to tell you what your supernatural beliefs are? Eventually you either realize they were right, or you go off and either use someone else's definition or find one of your own. Parents are deathly afraid of their children making mistakes and screwing up what they have tried so hard to build for them. That's why they crack down on them when they are growing up, and that's why they get mad when the children reject their beliefs (spiritual, political, etc). Only when the parents realize that they are smart individuals capable of dealing with life decisions in a responsible manner will they ever back off. Sometimes they don't, though. And that may be because they will not admit their children's maturity. I think I somehow proved to my parents during the summer before my senior year that I was a responsible adult. They never questioned me when I told them I was going out to a party where there would be booze. They would, of course, tell me "Be careful, don't drink and drive, and don't let your friends drink and drive." I think this somehow translated over to sex and other things. They knew that if I were to do anything, I'd do it responsibly. You said that you feel you have morals. Maybe you need to have a talk with them and let them realize that you know good decisions from the bad. I understand if talking to them is tough. I don't have a very talkative relationship with my parents about anything uncomfortable (like girls and sex and things of that nature). If I had any questions to ask about that stuff, I never went to my parents. I do hope that when I have kids that I keep the doors wide open so they know they can come and talk to me about anthing they want to. I dunno. I may have repeated what everyone else said. And I am only 24, so it's not like I have much under my belt. Graduating in Dec though. Then I get to become completely self-sufficient! In Silicon Valley! yay! LS

Or,maybe your'e going to hell,cause your parents were right,all along.

I get her soul.

Christianity and religion can be hard to discuss. There are so many different types, and what is acceptable for one is completely different for another. Example. Sunday school class right before I moved. Topic, Roe vs. Wade. At a church you would think it a one sided conversation. You don't do that. God said no. You will go to hell if you kill babies. Not what happened. Teacher says God said no. It's wrong. You will go to hell. In comes Minister of musics wife saying look in book of Numbers. God gives priests instructions on how to perform abortions on women who have been cheating on their fiance's prior to the marriage and have become pregnant. God Gave Instruction on How to Perform Abortions. Interesting little twist. My point being that it WILL be difficult to discuss religion and morality with those who hold different views from you and it may end up being futile. Kinda like some of our discussions here. The question I would pose is, are your parents the kind of people who can respect that honesty and listen without judging? If they are, then great. If not, you may need to give them time. Whatever you do. Be true to yourself and what you need to do for you. You're young, be selfish with what you want. 5 years from now it will be a lot harder.

After graduation i think you should embrace the Galactic Consciousness, build the Cosmic nebula jumpercraft on your parents Sacred ground, set a Ring of fire to the Sacred ground upon completion of the jumpercraft, round up your Pets, call the Local media and take Off.

I need to die soon. Have a happy