GUNS & DOCTORS


sorabji.com: The Stalking Post: GUNS & DOCTORS
THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).

By Fetidbeaver on Wednesday, April 3, 2002 - 09:58 am:

    Number of physicians in the U.S.: 700,000

    Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year: 120,000 (AMA).

    Accidental deaths per physician: 0.171 (U.S. Dept. of Health & Human Services).

    Number of gun owners in the U.S.: 80,000,000.

    Number of accidental gun deaths per year (all age groups): 1,500.

    Number of accidental deaths per gun owner: 0.0000188

    Statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.


By patrick on Wednesday, April 3, 2002 - 11:31 am:

    yeah but your not factoring in the lives guns save vs. the lives doctors save homeboy

    i think nate tried pawning these statistics off at one point. a pregnant mother holds more water.



By agatha on Wednesday, April 3, 2002 - 12:01 pm:

    ha! that was funny.


By drpy on Wednesday, April 3, 2002 - 12:21 pm:

    two young boys in colorado found their father's doctor in an unlocked closet and began playing with it. both were found dead.

    a man in texas was cleaning his doctor one day when it accidentally misdiagnosed him.

    a man in oklahoma came home late on night from a business trip. his wife, not expecting him until the next night, assumed he was a burgler and grabbed the doctor which the husband had given to her for protection. she went downstairs with it and performed unsuccessful radical surgery on her husband. only after turning on the lights did she discover her tragic mistake.

    guns don't kill people, doctors do.


By eri on Wednesday, April 3, 2002 - 01:00 pm:

    Hahahahahaha!


By Nate on Wednesday, April 3, 2002 - 01:11 pm:

    i think the point is not that doctors are bad, but that guns aren't as bad as one would think (if one simply paid attention to the media.)

    of course, the doctor stats are referenced and the gun stats aren't, so who knows what that means.

    i actually think it is meant to be a joke?

    anyway, if our economy collapses, you will all wish you had bought a gun when you had a chance.


By patrick on Wednesday, April 3, 2002 - 01:19 pm:

    are you expecting the economy to collapse?

    thats like saying "when the bomb goes off, you'll wish you had that shelter built."


By Fetidbeaver on Wednesday, April 3, 2002 - 02:19 pm:

    Yeah, it was to be taken as a joke. I knew Patrick would bite first. The rest of it goes like this:

    Not everyone has a gun, but everyone has at least one doctor. Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We must ban doctors before this gets out of hand.
    As a public health measure, I have withheld the statistics on lawyers for fear that the shock could cause people to seek medical aid.


By patrick on Wednesday, April 3, 2002 - 02:25 pm:

    can't we just turn them into 'script monkeys?

    you know, keep em on a leash beside the telephone, with a pad and pen.


By Antigone on Wednesday, April 3, 2002 - 02:27 pm:

    Another great example of "lies, damn lies, and statistics" if I ever saw one.

    People who go see doctors are, in general, already sick. Their chances of dying as a result of the doctor's actions are already greater than average. Duh.


By eri on Wednesday, April 3, 2002 - 02:33 pm:

    Oh, come on people. It was a joke. It was funny. It wasn't some statistic with a political agenda. Can't anyone take anything for what it is and either laugh or move on?


By Fetidbeaver on Wednesday, April 3, 2002 - 02:50 pm:


    "script monkeys"

    that's funny! I'll take two of them please.


By droopy on Wednesday, April 3, 2002 - 02:52 pm:

    i'm with you 100%, fetid. doctors are evil.

    fucked-up, doctor-lovin' rednecks.


By Nate on Wednesday, April 3, 2002 - 04:01 pm:

    the economy will collapse if there is a second, major terrorist attack on US soil.

    ie- a dirty-bomb in a US city. suicide small-pox 'bombers'. etc.


By patrick on Wednesday, April 3, 2002 - 04:05 pm:

    well....





    lets roll


By heather on Wednesday, April 3, 2002 - 04:15 pm:

    it will not collapse. quit that.



    the empirical evidence on doctors is clear
    it's scientific


By Antigone on Wednesday, April 3, 2002 - 04:17 pm:

    Ah, heather, you amuse me.

    The economy will not collapse. In fact, it'll go into overdrive. Can you say "Military Industrial Complex"? I knew you could!


By drpy on Wednesday, April 3, 2002 - 04:22 pm:

    no shit.

    still, it's best not to take chances. i say we carpet bomb them with doctors. that'll take care of them.


By patrick on Wednesday, April 3, 2002 - 04:22 pm:

    ANTIGONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!










    lets roll


By eri on Wednesday, April 3, 2002 - 04:25 pm:

    Can we hold one doctor hostage and make him give out free boob jobs first, before we carpet bomb them?


By Dougie on Wednesday, April 3, 2002 - 05:47 pm:

    "People who go see doctors are, in general, already sick." True, but that's not stopping the doctors -- there are a lot of ads now for "well" patients to get preemptive CT screenings because a lot of the standalone CT/MR clinics aren't doing so well just scanning sick people.


By Czarina on Thursday, April 4, 2002 - 01:56 am:

    All "script monkeys" are organ-grinders.


By TBone on Thursday, April 4, 2002 - 10:40 am:

    Hmm. I usually call mine my drug dealer. But I like script monkey better. But only if she has to wear a little fez.


By patrick on Thursday, April 4, 2002 - 11:27 am:

    i'll be needing to see my script monkey soon.

    seeing that sleep disorders are on the rise, should give way to an even easier refill process.


By pez on Thursday, April 4, 2002 - 12:37 pm:

    and people don't need to depend on their doctors nearly so badly if they just listened to me.


By patrick on Thursday, April 4, 2002 - 12:57 pm:

    what, you dispense valium?


By eri on Thursday, April 4, 2002 - 04:04 pm:

    I don't have one right now. No script monkey. I have insurance but not a doctor here. I just have to go online, pick one and call it in to the insurance, but I haven't done it yet. I get tired of all of the running around between doctors and insurance companies and I know that I won't get the surgery I need anyways. Outside of that I can take care of pretty much everything myself. If only I could prescribe my own medicine. I hate having to pay to see a doctor so he can tell me what I already know (you have xxx and you need yyy prescription)or blow me off like a stupid little kid when they don't want to do it (my surgery). Most of the time I just think, why bother?


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