| THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016). |
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The creepy part is that halfway through he lays down the game plan for the rest of his life, or at least the next 4 years. In two years he's going to have a house and kid, or so his plan goes. He asked me and Rowlf to be the godparents. I said we could be fairy godparents! Should i tell him now or later that if his wife's family pushes for a catholic churchy baptism I'll have none of it. (as he for some reason went along with a catholic wedding, and had to attend 4 weird classes about Catholicism since he's not catholic) So i don't know if he'll go for that, but I'll certainly try to talk them out of it. I wouldn't even go to the ceremony. Our housemate had to go do the whole baptism thing for his niece (why make the uncle the godparent?) and he had to answer the craziest questions I've ever heard, and I'm not strong enough to let the phrase "Do you vow to reject satan and all his evils?" go without making the best of it. How many times to you get that chance? This guy is also a little too happy to be married. I think he gets off on saying or typing the word "wife". It appears 8 or so times in this email. I find it weird that he refers to her as that even though I'm friends with her too, and she has a name. I don't think it's him being sexist or anything, i just think he's really REALLY into the word. About two weeks after he got married, he sent Rowlf this crazy email about how great it was to be married and how Rowlf "really should give it a try!!!" I found it uncharacteristic, and pretty presumptuous considering they were only on week 2. It was....creepy. I chalk it up to the fact that they had not lived together before they got married, and so were still suffering from sex overload. Of the first 3 couples i knew who got married, they are the only ones still together. None of them lasted more than a year. This guy's wife is a pre-natal nurse. Or as i call it, an almost dead baby nurse. She has seen shit that would make any other person drink themselves to death. The first time i met her, i asked her "You're a nurse?! What's the grossest thing you've ever seen???" I regretted it instantly, and it takes a sweet fuckload of gross to affect me, let me assure you. I'll type her story up tomorrow. I like to call it *The Worst Fucking Thing, EVER*. ------------- I stole from McDonalds yesterday. They're bank card system was down at the first window, so she told me to pay at the second window. I can only assume they have no communication between the first and second window, because that chick just handed me the food and told me to have a nice day. The window closed, she walked away. I drove. I try to feel bad about it, but i don't. At some point in life i had a "loss prevention" meeting at some crap job, about stealing. They said the population of customers could be broken down into 4 moral groups: 25% Naturally moral- won't steal, ever. 25% Desperate- steal because they have to. 25% Opportunists- steal when the opportunity presents itself 25% Naturally immoral- steal for fun/sociopaths. I'm definitely an opportunist. But i don't make a habit of stealing or anything. ------- I'm quitting smoking for REAL this time!! ------- Another friend recently found out that the girl he's been falling in love with had been seeing someone else for over 5 years. He found out because she refused to kiss him after a month of dating. Now she'll do anything with him except fuck. That's where she draws the line. He's... frustrated to say the least. Oh, she'll let anything ELSE go into that hole, just not his hot dog. That's her line. "So?" I said, "Stick it in her ass. Problem solved!" I've been pondering that for days now. She's been seeing my friend for almost 5 months now, they cuddle and sleep in the same bed and shower together and go out on dates, but vaginal intercourse- THATS wrong. That would be true cheating. I'd say that the emotional parts, that's the cheating. It's not so much sex as what you do afterwards. Sure you fucked someone else, but did they fall asleep in your arms as you stroked their hair? Give them a playful hickey? That's my line, anyway. Finding that out would send me from really pissed off to just goddamn destroyed. ------------- The Life Aquatic was just okay. |
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You deserve a little day-making. Is that a term? It is now! Here we go, as promised, the worst story ever, straight from a girl who deals with dead babies all day: *The Worst Fucking Thing EVER* Although a devoted catholic, my friend the pre-natal nurse is VERY pro-choice. She has seen what happens when someone who should very well have had an abortion choses not to, out of their own selfishness. She has stories. We have a few drinks and then she starts talking. I asked her if she's seen any babies with Anencephaly (infants born without most or all of a brain). "Oh yes, I've got a few of those lately. We had one girl with it who's about a year and a half old now." "A YEAR and a--? But i though they could only live a few hours at most?!" "That's true. And this baby WANTS to die, believe me. She tried all the time while we had her. She had about 5 heart faliures the first night." Turns out that unlike most babies with anencephaly, this one made it overnight. Everything was ready and signed, the DNR order, and the nurses were quietly waiting for the baby to just fade away peacefully. But the mother had a change of heart and decided that her baby must live. So the "mother" (I prefer to think of her as a sick twisted fuck, a black-hearted demon with no sense of compassion) sweeps in and has the nurses show her what to do with it, and against all advice and logic declares that she will take care of her golden precious daughter at home. The kid has NO BRAIN, just a caved in empty skull where the brain should be. All it can do is breathe and shit, and it can barely do that without a machine. It's a houseplant, basically. A very expensive vegetable, shaped like a one year old girl. It has no memories, no vision, can't talk, can't feel anything, and it never will. It will lay there with tubes keeping it alive, forever, until the family goes bankrupt from the bills for it's many machines and tubes. NO BRAIN. and who wants to bet she still buys birthday and x-mas gifts for the thing? The more i think about it, the creepier it gets. It scares the shit out of me just to know that somewhere, not too far from me, some woman is rocking this thing in her arms and brushing it's hair and buying it pink frilly dresses and showing pictures of it to strangers when they ask if she has any kids. Like some disgusting living doll or a corpse. I can only hope that her husband realized the depth of her mental sickness and got the hell outta there. the end |
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So I guess the one who is the sick fuck is the one who would force that poor baby to stay alive on child support and not be willing to let the baby let go. |