Hi.


sorabji.com: The Stalking Post: Hi.
THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).

By Spider on Monday, May 9, 2005 - 11:12 pm:

    I don't even know what I want to say, only that I want to say something. I want to make contact with this place again.

    Hello, there. You. How are you? I peeked in on what you guys have been writing during the past 3 days and...huh. Sleepy.

    I'm writing this in the dark of a priest's bedroom.

    So, anything burning going on? Any burning?

    No burning here -- it's raining. The desert is green and the trees are blooming and yesterday I very nearly sank forever in the mud when a strong-willed friend insisted we should drive to the nearest city via the dirt roads. While it was raining. Uh, not smart.

    I'm staying here again for another year. I don't really know why I made that decision, and I question myself and curse every day. But I do know I didn't want to leave Montana...that much is sure.


    Oh, here's something cool I can share. I play this game with my students...there are 21 dice with words printed on all sides, and they have to roll and arrange them to form a sentence. Here are some of our sentences, some of them oddly provocative:

    1. When it came down to love, she gave big.

    2. Did the good wife walk where my big bad leg took me?

    3. The young heart gave me its bare face made bad.

    4. He got your soft small wife later.

    5. He gave them my cold heart to taste.

    6. She felt her baby ran too fast for one young beast.

    7. The big cold man held her new smell.

    8. Later it came down to where some fast bad beast got his bare boy.


    Upon what creative ventures have you embarked recently?

    Have you read anything that has changed your life?

    Have you experienced any revelations? Enlightenment? Tunnel vision?


By Lapis on Monday, May 9, 2005 - 11:46 pm:

    I love "He gave them my cold heart to taste."

    Still dancing. I've just begun my first choreography adventure (Portisheads "All Mine").

    Am getting a car and believe it will help me to feel less entrenched in my hometown...

    A while back I found a copy of "I Capture the Castle" and read it because you mentioned the movie in one of your posts. Read it three times now. Running out of books and stories that satisfy my hunger. Need to make stories.


By jinx on Monday, May 9, 2005 - 11:54 pm:

    i was thinking of you tonight spider.

    i went to see the decemberists and brought a
    book to read while i waited for them to play

    it was *at swim two birds* by Flann O'Brien


    it was a really good show.


    i am so glad i am not 23 anymore


By jinx on Monday, May 9, 2005 - 11:54 pm:

    oh, and i am done with coursework

    FOREVER


    it's a good feeling.


By TBone on Tuesday, May 10, 2005 - 12:37 am:

    I've been working 60-hour weeks for the past few. I'm the newest programmer in the department, and they put me in charge of this major project, then decided that they wanted to demo the product for the National Parks Service. It was a rather sudden decision and it couldn't simultaniously be done well and be done in time for the demo. So I'm going to have to spend the next few weeks overhauling the bad, bad code.

    But the crisis phase just ended. I hope they got the contract.

    I was going to use the extra money to buy a Mac Mini. But in a flash of guilt and responsibility, I paid off a credit card instead. I can't say I'm completely happy with that decision.

    I'm trying to help plan my wedding, but I'm just no good at planning. I experience physical discomfort.

    It's good to hear from you, Spider.


By ... on Tuesday, May 10, 2005 - 01:06 am:

    i got mugged at knifepoint outside my apartment a couple of weeks ago. i'm walking along, about 12:30 am, and this kid whispers "stop walking. yo, stop walking or i'll stab you." i turn around and a kid wearing a bandana over his face has a giant knife near my stomach, and then another guy closes in from across the street. the guy with the knife tries to get me to back into a dark driveway but i back up and stand in the middle of the street. this wasn't intentional, just a reaction to the way he approached me. i said "what do you want?" he said "your cell phone." i realized then that he must have seen me using my $500 treo a few blocks back. i said "ok, here," and i took it out of my coat pocket and handed it to him he said "what else you got?" the other guy had a knife, too, but he never got too close to me. the first guy went through my pockets. $150 cash, a flask filled with Stoli vodka, and a metrocard that had $50 on it. he had my bank card, but he handed that back to me. he also let me keep my Hagstrom 5 Borough Atlas of New York and a notepad on which i write nonsense. all this took about 30 seconds, and the other guy ran. before the first guy started running i said "can i get my keys back?" he had grabbed my keychain with a dozen or so keys on it. he looked like he was thinking about it, like he wanted to keep them. i said "i gave you everything, what are you gonna do with those?" he was jumpy. "what are you gonna do with them?" he handed the keys to me, in my hand. i said "i respect you for that." and he ran, i later guessed toward the projects, but i didn't have the presence of mind to think of which way they might have headed. i got into this apartment and called 911. the cops were here within 30 seconds. we drove around to see if we'd spot them but i had no way of recognizing them by anything but body language and height. and, i later realized, we probably drove the wrong way, not toward the projects but in the other direction toward the spot where they started following me. i was in the back seat of the police car and one of the cops and i got into a rather heated argument about which was better, the Treo, the Sidekick, or the Blackberry. i got a huge laugh out of this, which i needed at the time.

    the next day i tried to laugh it off. a almost bragged about it to friends, but i never get too far with the brave face thing. i tried that after september 11, and would be embarrassed now if anyone remembers me that way.

    i might have gotten over this more quickly but the next day, at about 6:15pm, the muggers or whoever they sold my Treo to started using the phone and the internet access. i was sitting here at my desk with AIM and YIM both running when i got an alert saying "You are now logged in from 2 locations." that surprised me because the instant messenger software on that treo was not the easiest piece of software to get to. i later learned that they were text messaging some of the women in my phone book, all of whom knew what had happened and one of whom went vigilante and tried to talk these kids into meeting up somewhere. i left the phone service open because that police told me to, and i just got the phone bill today and see that they called a number of people and places that might be identifiable. i can't decide if i want to pursue this. they're just kids, and i'm reminded of a New Yorker story i read once by a guy whose apartment got robbed by someone who he had just given food to at a soup kitchen. the author talked about how, if he saw this person in one context he would feed him; if he saw him in another context he would kill him. i would never kill anybody, but if i knew kids who said they did shit like this i'd respect them and try to understand. why should i change this attitude just because they did it to me? this was nothing personal. but then if somehow i heard that they did this again, and someone got hurt or killed, then i'd know i was wrong.

    the people to whom i describe this incident mostly refer to the people who did this as something less than human, and i can not do that. one friend of mine refers to these kids as "spicks." i hate to respond to ignorance with over-used and weakling retorts but i have to say that i find that word and words like it to be utterly offensive.

    there are a couple of bizarre twists to this story. not shockingly weird, but bizarre to me.

    i decided to tell a few neighbors about this. only the neighbors i know at all, even if just enough to say hi in the hallway. i started to tell a woman who lives on the first floor, and before i got any of the details of the incident out she said "that was you?" and i said huh? turns out she saw the whole thing, from about 10 or 15 feet away. she was going to sleep by the window and she saw every detail, except the knife. she wasn't sure what was going on, and in fact she said it looked so much like i was in control of the situation that even with these guys going through my pockets and taking stuff ... she thought it was a drug deal or something. she doesn't know the street lingo for this shit, and neither do i, but she used the term patdown in a way that made sense to me. there was no visible hostility, we were all talking very low, and she said this over and over again: she thought i was in control of the situation. and, she lives in that apartment illegally and thus does not want to bring any attention to herself by calling the cops unless it was certain that something was happening.

    what sealed it for her was how he handed my keys back to me. he didn't throw them. if he had thrown them on the sidewalk or done something else then she thinks she might have reacted somehow, although by then it would have been too late. but he handed them to me, which made her think there was some kind of history here.

    it was unbelievable for me to hear her describe the details. she saw the cell phone come out, she saw the wad of cash, she saw the shiny metal thing (the flask of Stoli), she saw me with my arms held out, and she saw how stiff my back was. but she also saw how i was talking to them, even sounding accommodating. it's creepy to me because that could have been it, man. an eyewitness to my murder, if i'd been drunk or tired or just feeling like the asshole that i am then i might have handled it differently and they might have gone berserk.

    i talked to this woman for 5 hours in my apartment. it was an incredible release. i had finally found the one person on earth with whom i could talk about this. i gave her the grand tour of this apartment, the sort of tour i imagine giving to a girlfriend or lover some day. she knows how i organize my piano music scores; she saw and got the whole story behind my autographed letter from Vladimir Horowitz; she saw my framed photographs and my name on the front page of the New York Times; she heard me play Bach, Chopin, Liszt, and some of my own stuff. for me it was another world. everything sounds and feels different when there is someone there to listen and to respond.

    we talked about fucking, but by then she had already said she'd been with 4 guys that month. my exact words were "that's a lot of traffic ... down there" and she snickered. so we talked about making out, but it didn't happen. i don't require a virgin but she refused to use condoms and has had 7 abortions and she lives downstairs, and if any one of these circumstances were not true then i'd probably have passed anyway because that kind of sex depresses me and by the time we started talking about this my anxiety aftershocks had been mostly extinguished and i just needed to drink and sleep.

    she is friends with the person who, in 1992, got me my first real job in new york. i never even met that person, who runs a temp agency in midtown. and 1992 seems like a lifetime ago. but what a sprawling connection to have made.

    she kept saying "God, somebody is going to fall in love with you. very, very hard. in about a year and a half." i'm not saying that to brag, but to show that i was trying to figure out where she got the year and a half thing?

    the other slightly bizarre twist is this. the muggers got my drivers license. i was not convinced they meant to get it. the license was wadded up in the cash, and as i said they had my bank card but handed it back to me during the transaction. i wasn't convinced they wanted the license or would do anything with it, but the lingering fear was that they had my exact street address and might be back for more. i don't think that's crazy paranoid all things considered.

    time moved so slowly for the week afterward. i rediscovered my love for Mozart. i sat and played the middle and late piano sonatas for hours and hours, only to wake up to visions of kids raiding this place and seizing my precious valuable. memories of that New Yorker story and how the author had been bound and gagged in his apartment while the burglar walked off with nothing more than a tape deck and some cash.

    at 1:08 pm on Tuesday, April 26, 2005, i opened my mailbox and there was my drivers license. they put it in the mail, and it got routed through central processing in Flushing. for me the the whole thing was suddenly and completely over. the episode ended. i was happy, which is something i don't think anyone has ever seen except for that guy i saw in the hallway but he didn't realize it.

    they didn't keep it, they didn't want it, and whether it was they who went out of their way to put it in a mailbox or whether they discarded it and some good samaritan did the deed, i choose to believe that they went out of their way to put that license in a mailbox, and i choose to believe that the feeling of respect i sensed from them was genuine.

    but today i got the phone bill, and maybe there is evidence to find out who they are. do i want to do this? i probably do, but first i need to let the world revolve around me and my indecision. then i will listen to what people tell me and i will call the detective on my case before these kids get emboldened and move on to guns and hostages.





By dave. on Tuesday, May 10, 2005 - 02:17 am:

    i went to seattle to see gang of four last friday. the original lineup doing all the good songs (ok, a couple duds. . .). they looked good. i was expecting fat, old pink floyd-looking dudes huffing and wheezing. they were energetic and entertaining and much more than the sum of their parts. cyst was there. i mean right there. i could have reached over and tapped her on the shoulder. but i didn't. her husband looks like a boy. i mean that in a good way.

    glad to hear you're doing well, spider. mostly well. i got your letter, and i have heard sufjan. i like his stuff. did you like woven hand? you know that's the 16 horsepower dude, right?

    for me, i'm physically deteriorating. it's genetic. that's not to say that i can't do anything to ward off the inevitable, but i am really having a tough time getting off my ass. i imagine becoming like the watcher or *shudder* his wife. not fair.


By moonit on Tuesday, May 10, 2005 - 02:26 am:

    I'm here. Its the final week of my gym's 12 week challenge. I get weighed and measured and body fat'ted? on Thursday.

    I bought a bike. I love it. I ride to work and the gym and home nearly every day.

    I'm sitting my driver's license this week.

    I'm nearly 30.


By Gee on Tuesday, May 10, 2005 - 09:35 am:

    I am a wreck.

    I am in love.

    I want to throw up and cry.


By Spider on Tuesday, May 10, 2005 - 06:49 pm:

    I'm happy to hear from you all, and I'm glad that you are all doing fairly well, albeit with a few brushes with death. And love. (Hi, Gee.)

    I'm happy that I have positively influenced the reading choices of two of you. Those are two good books. I brought "At Swim-Two-Birds" with me here, and I read it when I need cheering up. "I Capture the Castle" has a home in the soft part of my heart, because its story drove me here.

    I have read so much this year, and right now I should finish Ken Kesey's "Sometimes a Great Notion." It's been sitting by my bed for months and I keep getting distracted by other good books.

    I just bought a 1971 Scrabble-made version of the sentence dice game off ebay, not 10 minutes ago. I love to see the words printed on the cubes. This is why Jenny Holzer is one of my favorite artists -- I so enjoy the sight of strange phrases printed with businesslike font.

    I did indeed know that Woven Hand was David Eugene Edwards' side project, but I did not have that album, so thanks, Dave. Lilium is the side project of the other 16 HP men, and it has its own sound, very unlike 16 HP.

    My health has been so ridiculously weak that I am, in all seriousness, trying to discern whether God has designated me a victim soul. It makes me think of the title of Jim Dine's book, "This Goofy Life of Constant Mourning." It's like that. Right now I'm fighting a skin infection that has developed in the blisters on my heels.

    Maybe I should live in a hermetically sealed bubble for a while. Just to give my immune system a break. You'd think I roll around in dung for a living, with all the germs I pick up. Maybe a nightly iodine bath would benefit me.

    Anyway.

    Read these books:

    *W.S. Merwin's "Migration"
    *Anything by Sherman Alexie, but my favorite is "Reservation Blues"
    *Deborah Magpie Earling's "Perma Red"
    *Matthew Sharpe's "The Sleeping Father"
    *Penelope Lively's "The Photograph"


By jinx on Tuesday, May 10, 2005 - 07:30 pm:

    sem bought me a sherman alexie book

    one of the first things he ever got me

    i've been reading the whole hitchhiker's
    guide book thingies. i also gave it to my
    stepdad


By jinx on Tuesday, May 10, 2005 - 07:32 pm:

    p.s. oh, and I had a hard semester health-wise
    spent a whole lot of time sleeping. but i'm getting
    better now...getting back into the yoga thing, which
    i started a few months ago.

    also, i got a job in an archive...i know I posted that
    and wrote it in a letter to you spider, but i think i
    forgot to mail it


By wisper on Tuesday, May 10, 2005 - 07:40 pm:

    I got fired and i took it pretty hard. 2 weeks past. Then i got a new job, which is shit also.
    But i was desperate and needed the money to fix my car. My car...oh fuck :(

    I had a birthday party thing at my favorite bar. I only reserved as many seats as i thought i needed. Last year i reserved more, and only like 8 people showed up, and that's fucking depressing. This year everyone showed up, and most of them brought 2 friends. So many that Clay showed up and had to leave because there was nowhere for him to sit.
    When i got my first paycheck i wasted no time, and i went right out to see him. Why are we so bad at keeping in touch? Why can't i seem to get it together enough to visit with people who only live a half hour away from me?
    Clay is in the same boat as me. I haven't done any artwork in almost a year. Neither has he. We work for competing coffee house giants, my team is winning. We talk about how we thought taking shit jobs would force us into drawing, but instead they just make us tired and depressed.
    I ordered sweatshop-free shoes.
    I love Clay. This boy is so devoted to graphic arts that he got every letter of his favorite typeface tattooed down his right arm. It covers the entire thing, in a collage.

    The NIN concert was last night. I was supposed to go to both shows, both nights. Like a dream. Then last month Rowlf opened the paper and said i might have to miss the 2nd night. "Oh what," i said "Did Freddy Mercury rise from the dead and Queen is touring again? There's only 2 guys i would miss this for..." "Yes," he said "And it's him. Mike Doughty."
    So tonight it's him. I sold my motherfucking NIN ticket. I never thought that could happen.

    How is it even possible that I'm such a stereotype. How does it happen.
    I was dressing for the NIN concert. Am i too old for pigtails? Am i too old for dog collars?
    Am i just too old?

    Time. I'm too old and Trent is old too. And he's got a new look, and he's fucking huge. He's been working out and he is BUILT and his arms are massive. It's scary and wrong.
    I hate change.


    The government is falling apart because conservatives would rather tear shit up than think logically.











    p.s. mark I'm so glad you're okay.


By semillama on Tuesday, May 10, 2005 - 07:46 pm:

    hi spider.

    i have been working on aig excavation since March 21st, spending half the week in hotels.

    I have had some ups and downs, but overall it's been good, I guess. I am in the hotel right now. We had a problem with our old hotel, so we moved. actually that should be problems. including crazy guys with guns in the bar and horrible tv reception.

    More later. I am sort of tired now and must go.




By Rowlfe on Tuesday, May 10, 2005 - 08:20 pm:

    From September 2004 until a week and a half ago I worked for an oil refinery as a temp, while still working illustration. I saved up a LOT of money to reinvest in illustration, but am getting "the panics" about it disappearing on me, so thats pushing me to do more artwork. I've made around 1.5 pieces a day for the past week, which is about a record for me.

    I'm gonna go on the dole for a bit. Its the first time I've been able to be eligible, I've worked my ass off for some time now and want to get a little back of what i've paid into. I'll still be working illustration which they'll dock me for, but I figured what the hell. I need some time off to teach myself a few computer programs so I can actually maybe get a graphic design job down the line. I've been flirting with going back to school, I'd like to have a teaching degree and teach art, I've always wanted to teach, but I want to have a lot more work experience first.

    I'm already BORED though, and supplement each day with reading the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and listening to the Stone Roses over and over. and watching Robot Chicken.

    Benny Hill's funeral. hah.


By droopy on Tuesday, May 10, 2005 - 11:01 pm:

    i can't say that i've read anything lately that's changed my life. but, for some reason, there has been a rash of strangers who have been telling me stories about dead cripples. it's a little disconcerting.


By dave. on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 01:33 am:

    spider, check you out. you alone draw out mark and droop from exile. sorabji.com loves ya.

    i just got a robot chicken dvd from a friend who tivo'd it. looks like 6 episodes. i think i'll take it to work and get paid to watch it.


By Gee on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 09:34 am:

    wisper:

    you are not too old for pigtails as long as you wear your dog collar with them.


By TBone on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 10:39 am:

    Nobody's too old for pigtails.
    Or maybe it's this hippy town I live in.

    I love Kettle Corn. You know, that stuff they sell at public events that's both sweet and salty and sold in those big long bags. I didn't often buy it for some reason, but when I did I couldn't. stop. eating. until it was all gone.

    I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing, but I discovered that it's really quite easy to make at home with a little practice and experimentation. I thought I didn't like regular popcorn, but I figured out that what I don't like is popcorn that burned or is so salty it makes my mouth numb. This rules out most common sources. Microwave popcorn seems to start burning after it's about 1/3 popped.
    So anyway, I can't stop. I make a big batch every night after work now and it's so good.

    Here's how I make it:
    1/2 cup popcorn
    1/4 cup oil
    1/4 cup sugar (actually, I use just a little bit less)
    1 teaspoon salt

    Put the oil in a big 6 or 8 quart pot. The kind with two handles on the sides and nonstick is best. I bought one at Shopko last night for $10. You'll need a lid. Throw in two kernels of popcorn.
    Heat the oil over medium high heat. When the kernels pop, throw all the rest of the ingredients in and mix it all up with a wooden spoon. Don't worry that some of the sugar will form weird wet clumps in the hot oil. The heat will melt it.
    Put the lid on. Make sure it's secure. Hold it on with oven-mitted thumbs if you need to. Otherwise hot popcorn will jump out and stick to your glasses.
    When it starts popping, shake it. Keep shaking. The stickiness of the popped corn will tend to suspend unpopped kernels away from the hot bottom, and you must fight this.

    Once the popping slows down immediately dump the popcorn into a big bowl. Timing this is the hard part. You don't want the sugar to scorch or caramelize. It took me a few tries to get this right.

    Let the popcorn cool until it's not sticky anymore. While you're waiting, fill the pot with hot water to dissolve the sugar. Or if you didn't scorch the sugar and you act quickly you can wipe it out with a paper towel, but you'll probably burn yourself.

    EAT IT ALL


By jinx on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 10:39 am:

    droopy's like sorabji legend

    HI DROOPY


By jinx on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 10:42 am:

    ohmygod i love kettlecorn

    i HATE microwave popcorn

    the smell it leaves makes me nauseous

    i am so excited for the irish fest in OH this
    summer. kettlecorn everyday!

    i have the perfect pot for that recipe.

    yum


By TBone on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 10:49 am:

    Microwave popcorn is the devil's used jockstrap.


By jinx on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 11:09 am:

    well, that's explains the smell


By platypus on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 11:38 am:

    TBone, your kettle corn recipe is superb. Why did I not think of this before? I loathe microwaved anything, but in particular, yes, popcorn. And here I had this big huge restuarant pot, begging to be used for kettle corn instead of massive soups. And now it has been done.

    I am filled with glee every time spider posts. Just for that I'm going to go out and buy a copy of "I Capture the Castle" in order to read it.


By TBone on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 02:45 pm:

    It makes me happy to know that others are enjoying home made kettle corn too.


By patrick on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 03:14 pm:

    microwaves in general are useless. get rid of your microwave and you'll find you arent as dependent on it as you might think.


By jinx on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 03:16 pm:

    i use the clock and the timer on mine every day


By platypus on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 03:26 pm:

    I don't own a microwave. I never have, actually. This is a large part of why I am deeply suspicious of microwaves. The only kitchen appliances other than the stove/sink/fridge trio that I have are an antiquated blender, a juicer someone got me for Christmas one year, and...a popcorn popper.


By Dougie on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 04:38 pm:

    Jeez, come to my house -- I could open up a branch of Circuit City with all the crap my wife's bought and used once. Microwave, blender, juicer, food processor, small food processor, toaster oven, toaster, Cuisinart bigass professional food mixer thing which takes up way too much space on the counter, coffee maker, electric can opener, and 9 million of those fucking plastic food containers and their lids, stop the madness!

    Speaking of popcorn, I went to a Yankees game the other night and had Cracker Jack for the first time in a long time -- I was amused because it seems they grind or polish each kernel of popcorn down after it's popped so that each kernel is almost round and roughly the same size as every other kernel. Also, there were maybe 2 peanuts in the entire bag, and one was one of those nasty, shriveled up, bitter tasting ones.
    Nice to see most of the old gang back here.


By Spider on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 04:59 pm:

    Yay! Happy talking, like the old days!

    It's snowing here, if you can believe it. Snow. In May. I...I just...I have never experienced this before. It's supposed to snow until Thursday. The good news is that the snow and last weekend's rain and next week's rain will help our 7-year drought.

    And, oh joy, I have a sore throat. Cold #12, here we go.

    We have two microwaves. And an electric can opener, a plug-in griddle, a waffle-maker, a blender, an popcorn air popper thing (mmmmm...kettle corn), and (I believe) a George Foreman grill, but that could be a rumor. I've never seen it.


By Karla on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 05:56 pm:

    Hey Mark, I wondered about that cryptic time frame in your "Read the Stories" post. Now that I've heard the details, I'm so glad to hear you're OK. You're far more magnanimous than I would be, but that's probably why you're alive now. It may be pointless to add this, but please be careful during your nocturnal wanderings. This world can't spare any more of its artists.


By TBone on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 06:50 pm:

    My espresso machine is a shrine.

    Every electrically powered kitchen appliance I own gets hot. And I own plenty. But no mixers, processors, slicers, openers or shooters.


By Dougie on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 07:14 pm:

    Ooh, I forgot the George Foreman Grill, and the George Foreman Rotisserie. Both are great products -- prime rib and whole chicken come out great in the rotisserie, and swordfish steaks come out great in the grill. Unfortunately, our broiler in the oven sucks, so we use those a lot, and we also grill out a lot.


By droopy on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 08:58 pm:

    my sister gave me a george foreman grill last christmas. lately i've been using it to grill chicken livers dredged in masa and cayenne pepper. really great on a flour tortilla with grilled onions. with a beer.


By Dougie on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 11:50 pm:

    Hmm, haven't had chicken livers for a while. Wifey hates them, although she thinks nothing of buying those packages of gizzards and hearts and frying them up. I remember in college, I practically lived on those things -- chicken livers & onions fried up in butter and served over rice. Cost about 50 cents a dinner. That and Kraft Fluorescent Orange Mac & Cheese with a can of tuna and a can of peas added in. That was a little more expensive -- maybe 1.25 a dinner. I did have some duck liver mousse a couple of weeks ago, on Carr's Water Biscuits. That was pretty awesome. And droop, your last sentence in your latest post goes without saying. My latest favorite find is Hogs & Dogs Black Walnut Ice Cream -- kind of similar to a butter pecan, but with that unmistakeable taste of black walnut -- stronger and more acidic than that of an English walnut. Couldn't believe they'd make that flavor. My grandparents had 2 black walnut trees in their yard, and damn if those things weren't prolific. I used to love the smell of the walnuts when they'd fall to the ground -- they'd still have their unripe green husks, and they had such a beautiful, pungent smell to them. If you'd get it on your hands, it would stain them, and they'd smell for days. We used to heave them down the street and try to get them to roll into the storm drain on the corner. My grandmother would make black walnut cake from them too. Damn, I miss that.


By droopy on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 11:52 pm:

    just made a peanut butter, bacon, and tomato sandwich on george foreman grill.

    damn these things are handy.

    wow, cyst got married.


By platypus on Thursday, May 12, 2005 - 01:19 am:

    Droopy, this sounds like a fascinating combination. I might have to try it.

    I love peanut butter and pickle sandwiches. And I love grilled cheese and tomato. And I love BLTs. But this is like some strange hybrid of the three, in that it contains an ingredient from each. I dig it. Of course, I don't own a George Forman grill. Maybe I should feel deprived. I make a lot of things in my oven, which is somewhat wasteful. I would sort of like, maybe, a toaster oven.

    Dougie, people always ask us to make black walnut ice cream, but this is the first time someone has explained why it's spectacular. I might have to make a little private batch, just to taste the goodness.

    Yes.

    I think I'm going to go roast some garlic now. I've been having roasted garlic on sour toast with brie for a midnight snack lately and I am loving it.


By jinx on Thursday, May 12, 2005 - 01:42 am:

    platy, i thought you were vegan.

    roast garlic on sour toast with brie sounds
    awesome.

    i ate a steak in front of my mother last month.

    she couldn't believe it.

    i always said that if i went back to eating meat, it
    would have to be steak...chicken isn't good, but
    it's not at all exciting. except at the floataway cafe
    where they roast it and throw it on some bread salad
    and greens


By Gee on Thursday, May 12, 2005 - 10:07 am:

    first of all: eww, kettle corn. that stuff is nasty. Give me microwave popcorn any day over that vile concoction of grossness. That's right, I said it and I stand by it! I'll take all y'all on.


    I would also like to add that I am amazingly jealous of everyone who has a george forman grill (I want!), and a grilled cheese with bacon is God's gift to me. but then bacon makes everything better.


By TBone on Thursday, May 12, 2005 - 10:57 am:

    I've been getting grilled cheese and tomato on sourdough for lunch at the little place near work called "Friends Again". So good. They keep asking if I want onions on it.

    I must try some of these other sandwich concoctions.

    My brother would agree with you about the bacon, Gee. His passions in life are cheese, bacon, and rock climbing.


By Lapis on Thursday, May 12, 2005 - 11:10 am:

    grilled cheese with onion, mmmmmm.

    i finally found vegan swiss "cheese" at a nearby grocery. the only ingredient icouldn't find for making vegan ruebens (yummy).

    roasted garlic with brie sounds fantastic. every once in awhile i can eat a little cheese, but i don't knowif i can handle brie.


By platypus on Thursday, May 12, 2005 - 11:35 am:

    I was, in fact, vegan, for over four years. And then a particularily succulent wild boar enticed me back into the world of animal murder. I'm actually not eating all that much meat, primarily because I discovered that I don't really like commercial meat very much--I really prefer game and that's dependant on hunting season and relative laziness. Sometimes one of the butchers has some game in the back room, so to speak, but rarely. The cats, however, are more than happy to eat all the commercial meat I can provide. And luckily I know a lot of fishers so I have a pretty steady supply of sea creatures to devour.

    I am, however, eating a whole lot of dairy. I'm cheesin' like it's 1999. Hence roast garlic and brie toast, which is fucking fantastic if I say so myself. And I am convinced that a George Forman grill would enchance the experience. Also the fact that I work, or worked until this week, at an ice cream company making ice cream, contributed to my general dairy decline. I eat massive sundaes at the drop of a hat. With extra hot fudge.

    Pez what are you using for protein in vegan reubens? I was using the smoked tempeh bacon wildwood makes. It's pretty darn good. In fact...dare I say it...better than bacon, and way less stinky. I never really liked pork products, though. We used to have a really awesome fake cheddar made by a company named Wizards, but Harvest stopped carrying it. I don't know what the deal was.


By TBone on Thursday, May 12, 2005 - 11:46 am:

    It was made from people.


By Lapis on Thursday, May 12, 2005 - 01:15 pm:

    I love tempeh. There's a good (mostly) vegetarian restaurant a little over a mile from my house. They make an excellent tempeh rueben, which contains all the dairy I'll eat these days. The discovery of vegan swiss is fortunate.

    There's a brewpub next to one of the stops on the MAX yellow line that has a tomato rueben which is very good as well.

    Mmmmmmm.... the sauerkraut, the rye bread..... Yum.


By kazu on Thursday, May 12, 2005 - 02:16 pm:

    i love ruebens. any kind, corned beef,
    turkey, tempeh...yum. it's the only time
    i will eat swiss cheese

    in college, when they had sauerkraut in
    the mess hall, I used to make toasted
    sauerkraut-cheese-russian dressing sandwiches.

    yum


By Spisder on Thursday, May 12, 2005 - 02:27 pm:

    In my demesne, the slogan is, "Cheese makes everything better." Because it really does. Think about it.

    I have had a lot of game this year. Last week, one of our neighbors made us wild goose in this delicious ginger/garlic/other things sauce. It was mouth-wateringly good but not succulent, because the goose had the texture of beef. Interesting.

    I've also had elk, antelope, venison, sage grouse, wild turkey, buffalo (not game anymore), and rabbit.

    And, just for the record, we have had our winter's largest snowfall today -- 8" or so. On Saturday, it's supposed to be in the 70s. This morning I took a picture of a little vivid yellow bird trying to find a bare twig to land on in our snow-covered cottonwood tree.


By wisper on Thursday, May 12, 2005 - 02:50 pm:

    i rarely had steak, even when i still ate cows. I could never get into the whole steak thing.
    It's like- "Grilled muscle tissue 4 U!"
    I have a hard time eating things that look like...THINGS. Chicken wings are right out, although i did enjoy the biology aspect of seeing the joints and tendons.

    bacon.
    bacon tempts me daily.

    A few weeks ago at work i had to make a sandwich at work because we were understaffed. It was supposed to be a turkey club. Someone looked over my shoulder: "What are you doing?"
    "Making a turkey club?"
    "...no you're not"
    "What is this??"
    "Ham."
    "Oh...."
    I honestly forgot the difference. The pink of ham and the grey/pink of turkey. Processed meats are creepy.

    Why don't you work at the ice cream place anymore, platy?


By jinx on Thursday, May 12, 2005 - 02:53 pm:

    for st. patrick's day i made sem venison medallions with a port cranberry sauce.

    we also had red cabbage braised with apple juice and caraway seeds. and roasted potatoes. and soda bread. and guiness chocolate cake. and smithicks.


    it suprised the hell out of him.


    st. patrick's day is our valentine's day.


By jinx on Thursday, May 12, 2005 - 02:57 pm:

    i love buffalo wings

    LOVE them

    i want them NOW


By platypus on Thursday, May 12, 2005 - 03:51 pm:

    Largely, wisper, because I am shortly moving again, and I don't feel like commuting three hours to go to a lame job. Also because they viciously cut my hours back and the lady boss was a bitch. But the moving thing is pretty crucial. I'm sort of hoping the university gives me some kind of t.a. job so I can grade papers all day instead of scooping ice cream all day. But we shall see. I will probably end up working retail somewhere again.

    Health is Wealth makes awesome vegan buffalo wings. Awesome. They are one of the best foods ever. Seriously. I ate like two boxes the other day because I just couldn't control myself. They are especially good with a little spicy sauce. Like cocktail sauce. Or, if you are lazy, ketchup with sri racha in it.

    I think I might bake a pie.


By jinx on Thursday, May 12, 2005 - 03:57 pm:

    that's another thing i LOVE.


    pie.


    though i don't eat it often, because it's hard to find really good pie.


    there is lots of good pie here in the south though. yum


By platypus on Thursday, May 12, 2005 - 04:03 pm:

    I'm having a yen for strawberry rhubarb.


By wisper on Thursday, May 12, 2005 - 05:03 pm:

    strawberry rhubarb.....YES YES


By kazu on Thursday, May 12, 2005 - 05:04 pm:

    i have strawberry rhubarb jam in the fridge


By TBone on Thursday, May 12, 2005 - 08:09 pm:

    My wonderful girl made a strawberry rhubarb pie on Sunday. We got the Rhubarb at the farmers' market on Saturday.

    Sometimes she makes rhubarb sauce. Like apple sauce, but rhubarb instead.


By agatha on Thursday, May 12, 2005 - 08:31 pm:

    YAY, HAPPY PEOPLE TALKING!

    Not much is new with me to speak of. I'll make a list.

    1. I'm still a bad student. I should be graduating next May, but I will still have one more class to take after I graduate.

    2. Cleo is starting MIDDLE school next year. I'm frightened.

    3. I got promoted at my job, now I'm a trainer. It's crazy busy and demanding, and I'm really tired when I get home.

    4. I forget everything all the time.

    5. I'm going to Connecticut on Sunday for ten days to see my family. I'm really looking forward to it. My mom has Parkinson's now, and hasn't been feeling the greatest. I will give her hugs, and my neurotic dad will yell at me and get upset about trivial things just like the olden days.

    6. I love my espresso machine too. Tbone helped me pick it out (I figured out the style sheet, by the way, thanks!)

    7. I just figured out that jinx was kazu.

    8. I'm going to go try to make some kettle corn. I'd like some pie, too, but I don't have the ingredients to make any.

    9. I'm really glad that spider and droopy are back, and it was nice to see a post from mark even though the story was VERY disturbing.

    10. I still have the mail art. I still intend to finish it some day, although I don't know when that will be, and then it will be a lovely surprise.

    11. Fluffah is going senile, and yowls all day long. It's an otherworldly sound.

    That's all I've got.


By platypus on Thursday, May 12, 2005 - 11:25 pm:

    TBone, I think I need the rhubarb sauce recipe. I mean I can make some guesses. But it sounds awesome. And I don't like to fuck around with rhubarb, you know what I'm saying?

    I also really want to make apple butter this weekend. Maybe I will do that. And I still need to bake bread with A because he's volunteered his studly kneading skills and I hate kneading.

    I, too, am happy to see happy people talking. It fills me with sprightliness and joy. It's odd how unfulfilled my life is when this place is joyless.


By TBone on Friday, May 13, 2005 - 12:58 am:

    This is a mom recipe, so it's a bit vague.

    Rhubarb Sauce
    8 Cups diced rhubarb
    1 Cup sugar
    1 Cup water
    10 oz box of frozen strawberries

    Cook about 1 hour, till rhubarb softens up.

    On the stove, I'm guessing.


By ... on Friday, May 13, 2005 - 03:22 am:

    i'm actually surprised anyone saw my post. i thought i'd been jizzmopped into oblivion long ago. should be more careful what i say.

    at any rate, i got a foreman grill at some point pre2k and thought it was fascinating. but the Hamilton Beach indoor grill meal maker products are far superior. interchangeable parts let them be a grill one minute and a flapjack griddle the next. lots of floorspace. i don't have a dishwasher but it would appear that they are better suited to the dishwasher than the one-piece Foreman Grill.

    the hype says that the foreman grill is easy to clean, but i have to disagree. how is it easy to hold that thing halfway over the sink and scrape the grease off when you could just throw the hamilton beach grids into the dishwasher or take them apart and sponge them down? i ask you.

    and the hamilton beach products are a lot cheaper.


    and if you order now you'll also get


By moonit on Friday, May 13, 2005 - 03:41 am:

    My soap opera name is Jayne Vogel.

    I really like it.


By moonit on Friday, May 13, 2005 - 03:44 am:

    Oh and New Zealand got Dominoes Pizza. I had Tony Pepperoni the other night and thought it was shit, but the Pandyr is there now buying something different to try.


By Gee on Friday, May 13, 2005 - 08:55 am:

    7. I also just realized that jinx is kazu. I am not all that quick on the up-take when it comes to people using different names. I am far too lazy to check their little number thingies.






    I wish I were a party planner.


By beta on Friday, May 13, 2005 - 12:53 pm:

    what the hell? why would we jizzmop you?


By wisper on Friday, May 13, 2005 - 01:31 pm:

    I AM ENJOYING POSTCARDS!

    xoxox


By jinx on Friday, May 13, 2005 - 01:51 pm:

    isn't the cat one great? i am tempted to actually
    purchase one of his cat paintings.

    loss cat

    heh.


By semillama on Friday, May 13, 2005 - 03:26 pm:

    So, my best friend has been in Iraq for the last couple of weeks. He emailed me today and said that his base got mortared pretty bad last night, but that he was "too lazy to get out of bed and go to the bunker" which says a lot about the state of things over there.

    He sent me an update letter with pics attached. It has a group photo of his company, looks like a good bunch of people. but now I have a problem - instead of just worrying about the Cap'n (which is how I will now refer to him since his promotion), I now am concerned about the safety of his company as well. The whole reason they are over there is that 80% of the part of another company that was over there were effectively neutralized because of casualties in the leadership of the individual EOD teams (which are two people each, so you can see how one person getting killed or wounded would take a team out of commission).

    Because they are not actually replacing a company, there was all this BS loophole garbage to deal with. You see, because the govt. is committed to not increasing troop strength in Iraq, they can't send additional companies over, only replacement companies. Since the Cap'n's company is not a replacement, each soldier was deployed as an individual, so technically his company is still in the USA, even though in reality they are all in Iraq. But because they weren't deployed as a unit, they had a problem getting their equipment shipped over with them, until they found a company that was being deployed as a replacement. This company was going to be using equipment already in Iraq, so they used their authorization as a company to ship equipment to bring over my friend's company's equipment.

    Then there was the matter of actually landing a cargo plane in Iraq, which involves coming in at a high altitude, then basically making a power dive at the airstrip and leveling off at the last minute to land, in order to avoid enemy anti-aircraft fire.


    Have I mentioned lately how much I truly despise the current administration?


By Antigone on Sunday, May 15, 2005 - 04:24 am:

    "Upon what creative ventures have you embarked recently?"

    Got certified to scuba dive. Just went on my first ocean dive trip with the wonderful M, who now has 50 dives under her belt. Honduras is nifty this time of year, but we didn't see any whale sharks, which was the main reason we went there.

    And, speaking of creative ventures, there's life with M herself. We moved in together three months ago, and it's been fun. Emotionally she's with it, and we get along just fine. I find her hottt, though she thinks her thighs are too wide. (What is it with chicks wanting to get rid of their most desirable fleshy bits?) And she just took the GRE (going back to grad school at age 38) and she scored a 1370, putting her around the 99th IQ percentile. And she definately wants to have kids.

    I am NOT going to fuck this up. :)

    "Have you read anything that has changed your life?"

    Not yet, but this should do it: linky

    "Have you experienced any revelations? Enlightenment? Tunnel vision?"

    Just reading this thread.

    We are waves of flesh, flowing through time. All that matters is the pattern of the wave, and when it will crash. I'm struggling to change the bits of me that are calcifying. Why can't I free my mind to create the wave that wants to escape? I've been given so many chances to make it happen, but I'm crashing over myself, over my crystaline bits.

    Evolution wants to spring forth from me, the evolution of simple beasts into communities of beasts, beasts who use tools and evolve those tools through their interaction, tools which come to evolve themselves. The wave of evolution should not just go forward, but go inward, become a fractal image of itself.

    Evolution must be a fractal.

    Can I do it? Can it be done?


By wisper on Tuesday, May 17, 2005 - 01:45 pm:

    I'm happy for Anti :)


    Dear System of a Down,
    I love you. You just keep getting better.
    xoxo
    -wisper


By jinx on Tuesday, May 17, 2005 - 02:01 pm:

    i'm happier for system of a down

    i'm tired of couples who met after sem and
    i getting to get married/move in together
    before we do.

    i'm also fat again.


By wisper on Tuesday, May 17, 2005 - 02:01 pm:

    seriously. dave. sem. This album.
    It's both kicking and rocking my ass simultaneously.


By jinx on Tuesday, May 17, 2005 - 02:05 pm:

    doesn't that hurt?


By dave. on Tuesday, May 17, 2005 - 02:17 pm:

    i just got it last night from soulseek. it's on my keychain ramdrive now.

    didja see 'em on snl?


By wisper on Tuesday, May 17, 2005 - 03:45 pm:

    no :(
    but i hear they got a 'fuck yeah' in without getting beeped.


By dave. on Tuesday, May 17, 2005 - 04:24 pm:

    yeah, but it sounded more like

    WUHHHHKWAHHHHH!

    why is it that musicians are some of the oddest looking people?


By Gee on Tuesday, May 17, 2005 - 04:29 pm:

    kazu should stop disparaging herself, because we love her. WE LOVE HER.

    kazu is THE SHIT, YO.


By jinx on Tuesday, May 17, 2005 - 04:46 pm:

    thanks.

    today is sem's birthday.

    the present i got him was inspired by a
    a Nate and Agatha recommendation

    (so, you know it's gotta be good)


    and I am happy for antigone, and more jealous
    of his trip to honduras than anything else.


By semillama on Tuesday, May 17, 2005 - 05:26 pm:

    I'm 33!

    and sporting a bitchin' farmers tan.

    going out to a local funtime bar place for 25 cent wings with the
    crazier people on my crew and of course my wing-craving
    sweetie, Kazu/jinx.


By Antigone on Tuesday, May 17, 2005 - 05:41 pm:

    Kazu, wanna lose some weight? Just get on a boat for a couple of days without taking any dramamine. Greatest excuse for socially acceptible bulimia I know of. Lost 5lb in a week.

    But you ain't fat. Sheeeeeit, you're worse than M. :) She's got these cute womanly hips, which I find quite enticing, but she calls "fat." That's just whack!


By droopy on Tuesday, May 17, 2005 - 05:41 pm:

    you must be nate's yeti. congratulations. i'm about to leave to have a drink on some fort worth sidewalk. i'll have one for you.


By TBone on Tuesday, May 17, 2005 - 05:47 pm:

    Birthday! Happy!


By patrick on Tuesday, May 17, 2005 - 07:08 pm:

    cheese im obsessed with: Grueyere
    music im obsessed with: Nick Cave



    droop some news you may have missed if cysts marriage caught you by surprise...i went and had a kid 2 years ago, and have since seperated with a divorce pending.







    moving on.

    in conversations, my gf mentioned fathers day in some context or another and it took me back to fathers day last year. i was in a bad place this time and for next several months, a year ago. its coming around and i will look further to surround myself with the love ive since found for myself in my family and my friends. i should prolly pet my kitties more too. but im never home.

    in july i will have been physically separated from her for 1 year. its a little hard to believe.

    at the same time, i will have been with my gf for...what...9 mos? it's strange to consider. it makes me suspect of myself and my vulnerabilities.

    no matter. things have drastically changed for me in the last year.


    im currently, slowly reading a book by jeffrey burton russell called "Mephistopheles: the devil in the modern world." Its part 3 of a triliogy he wrote. spidey you'd love this guy. he's an amazing historian (currently a professor of religion at UCSB) and writer with an amazing presentation on the historical concepts of evil in our modern world from the 16th century to the present. he prefaces the book, amongst other things with this (about his 20 year long study of the concepts of the devil and evil) "one learns to know that one cannot know and that in the end all that is left is the desire to know and that wisdom is greater than knowledge, and greater than wisdom is love." That shit's been moving me for about a week now.


    I've been living in the hollywood ghetto for about 2 months now. i miss the house but certainly dont look back. theres no point. i spend much of the week at my gf's so my time spent at my house is minimal. this weekend, coming home late, around 2 ish, i was almost side swiped at an intersection by some dumbasses outrunning an LAPD. Once I realized what had just happened I saw LAPD bearing down me, now stopped, in an awkward position in the middle of the damn intersection. Because LAPD didnt use a siren or anything, I had no idea they were coming. it was extremely startlingly. As I parked, i saw the ghetto bird getting in place with lamp and all. for a minute, i suppose they thought they could actually win when the reality is, they would probably hit some unlucky son of a bitch like me, and take a few in a shootout. what a nightmare.

    People have generally lost their minds in this fucking town and its given me cause, in part, to consider leaving. where, i dunnon, with my daughter, absolutely, but from her mother, of course not. so where am I? i dunno.

    Im in a professional quandry and sorta waiting for things to pan out. im stuggling just to get by on a single income, I work 7 days a week. I have since late august of last year. its taking a toll, but i have to do it. the margins are just that thin.




    its nice to see some folks back in the fray. admittedly i stopped coming by this past week or two for obvious reasons. clearly i was wrong.






By Rowlfe on Tuesday, May 17, 2005 - 07:44 pm:

    our government was to be toppled in a vote of non confidence on Thursday by the Conservative and Separatist parties working together...

    one of the biggest members of the Conservatives just defected to the Liberal party, probably saving the government. and well, the people, from an election the vast majority do not want at this time.





    Belinda Stronach stuns political observers, moves to Liberals, joins cabinet

    ALEXANDER PANETTA 57 minutes ago

    OTTAWA (CP) - The defeat of Paul Martin's Liberal government became less likely Tuesday with the stunning defection of a high-profile Tory MP to the Liberal cabinet. Martin sat beside a smiling Belinda Stronach at a surprise news conference and introduced the rookie parliamentarian as his new human resources minister.
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Stronach's departure is a blow to the Tories on several levels - starting with a confidence vote set for Thursday in the House of Commons.

    Two Independent MPs haven't said how they will vote and the Liberals now could survive with support from just one of them.

    Cynical laughter broke out at a news conference when Martin said the move wasn't about guaranteeing him victory in Thursday's votes on the budget.

    "The significance of her decision is not that it necessarily alters the outcome," Martin said, prompting the snickers.

    "We still do not know whether the budget will pass or not."

    If the Liberals were hoping to weaken their rivals almost on the eve of the crucial vote, they couldn't have scripted a more dramatic defection.

    In one fell swoop the new Conservative party lost one of its founding members, its trade critic, its strongest left-leaning voice, a leadership aspirant, and a young, female Ontario MP with romantic ties to the party's deputy leader Peter MacKay.

    The Conservatives said the Liberals are on a desperate vote-buying spree and deserve to be toppled.

    Conservative Leader Stephen Harper sounded less than enthusiastic, however, about his chances of winning the vote.

    "Obviously, Belinda's actions today make the defeat of the government on Thursday much less likely," Harper said.

    "But it doesn't in any way change the principled position that our caucus has taken on this issue."

    Tory MPs and aides launched a full-scale assault on Stronach's reputation once her decision became public.

    The party scheduled a rare Tuesday night caucus meeting amid accusations of hypocrisy and opportunism, and questions about her work ethic and intellectual depth.

    They noted that Stronach sat in on Tory strategy sessions even last weekend while she was negotiating with the Liberals and still said nothing about her defection plans.

    They handed out papers showing she only attended 11 of 28 meetings of the Commons trade committee.

    They distributed a litany of anti-government quotes from Stronach, including her reference last year to a "tired old Liberal government."

    The Conservatives trotted out their brightest young MPs to face the cameras and demonstrate they would survive Stronach's loss.

    "I think she's a poster child for hypocrisy," said B.C. MP James Moore.

    Alberta MP Rona Ambrose, who was immediately appointed to Stronach's trade-critic portfolio, called the move a "betrayal."

    Stronach has made it known for weeks that she was unhappy with Harper's decision to seek an election.

    She said the Tories should have delayed an election until the party had grown in Quebec. The separatist Bloc Quebecois is currently poised to sweep the province.

    "I find myself at a crossroads forced on me by the decision of the leader of the Conservative party to try to force the defeat of this government," she said.

    "I've been uncomfortable for some time with the direction the leader of the Conservative party has been taking."

    Stronach voiced those concerns last week when she met former Ontario Liberal premier David Peterson at a public event in Toronto.

    Peterson promptly called Tim Murphy, a former Ontario Liberal MPP and now the No. 1 official in the Prime Minister's Office.

    By Monday evening, Stronach and Martin had worked out a deal over dinner at 24 Sussex Drive.

    After dinner she called MacKay, to whom she had been romantically linked, and told him what had happened.

    MacKay was gobsmacked, said one of his confidants. He phoned and broke the news to Harper on Tuesday morning.

    Harper said Tories members feel "devastated" and "betrayed," but insisted he's "relieved that we've at least gone through this before an election."

    "There's no grand principle involved in this decision, just ambition," he said.

    "I told my wife only a few days ago that I thought it had become obvious to Belinda that her leadership ambitions would not be reached in this party regardless of whether or not we won the next election."

    Two weeks ago, Stronach warned that defeating the federal budget might be a bad move that could backfire on the Conservatives.

    She said critical portions of the budget - particularly the billions promised for municipal infrastructure - were important to individuals in her riding north of Toronto and other constituencies in the area.

    One of her aides hinted then that she might not oppose the Liberals in a confidence vote.

    Stronach, who entered political life after leaving her post as CEO of the multibillion-dollar auto parts company her father founded, always carried more paid staff and a higher profile than her rank as an opposition rookie MP would indicate.

    Former prime minister Brian Mulroney touted the billionaire heiress as a powerful force in the merger between the Progressive Conservative and Canadian Alliance parties in late 2003.

    She subsequently ran for the leadership and aspired to become prime minister. Aides at the time say she needed a crash course on the most basic tenets of Canadian democracy.

    "It was Public Policy 101," said one of her high-profile aides from last year's race.

    "It was, 'How does Parliament work, the Constitution, division of powers' (between Parliament, cabinet and the justice system)."

    Stronach told the CBC that she spoke with Mulroney on Tuesday to discuss her move.

    "Brian said to me, 'I'm your friend. . . I support you as a friend,' " she said.

    Mulroney was not available for comment.


By wisper on Tuesday, May 17, 2005 - 08:02 pm:

    Could today be any better?
    solid new album to listen too, a good chat on the phone and an interview set up with a bad-ass design firm later this week (they didn't even see my portfolio! He just said "I must say, your resume is impressive."), and meanwhile the conservative party crumbles.

    fuck ya


    Happy Birthday Sem! you have given me luck.


By wisper on Tuesday, May 17, 2005 - 08:04 pm:

    oh and Arrested Development is getting picked back up by Fox.

    Sem, you magnificent bastard, you've gotta have more birthdays. I hug you.


By jinx on Tuesday, May 17, 2005 - 08:10 pm:

    so we went and had wings and I got to meet
    sem's co-workers...a fun crew, including one
    paranoid inidvidual (think rural militia type)
    who slightly resembles corky from *life goes on*


By platypus on Tuesday, May 17, 2005 - 11:27 pm:

    I am obsessed with roasted garlic and brie toasts right now.

    I'm reading "Collapse."

    I'm going to graduate school.

    I'm stressed out about finding housing.

    I'm also confused about why Spider was posting from the dark of a priest's bedroom.

    But, all in all, this day has been pretty damn good.


By Lapis on Tuesday, May 17, 2005 - 11:29 pm:

    Yay! Happy Birthday!


By TBone on Wednesday, May 18, 2005 - 08:58 am:

    Sem took my lucks away. I appear to have lost my new PDA.


By jinx on Wednesday, May 18, 2005 - 11:11 am:

    platy, where are you going to grad school? and to
    study what?


By platypus on Wednesday, May 18, 2005 - 12:00 pm:

    Kazu I'm going to Humboldt State, which, needless to say, was not my first choice, for my master's in english, which was also not my first choice. My father has a masters in english as well. He's been a college english instructor for a very long time. People are teasing us and saying there's going to be a Smith dynasty at the college. But I'm happy. After I get my master's I will probably reapply to all the programs I got rejected from for my PhD in anthropology. Or maybe I'll be so excited about english that I'll apply for a PhD in english program somewhere. At any rate my master's is far from my terminal degree.

    And I like Arcata. So I think things will be ok. If I was smart I'd be doing my thesis on something related to anthropology, no matter how tangentially, but I think instead that I am going to do something with children's literature. (Can anybody say J.K. Rowling?) There's a lot of awesome stuff going on right now in children's lit, not just Harry Potter but Jonathan Stroud, Philip Pullman, Daniel Handler, etc, and not a lot of serious work addressing this phenomenon. So I'm excited. I guess. And a little freaked out.

    Luckily I kicked the GRE's ass so that's something to be smug about.


By jinx on Wednesday, May 18, 2005 - 01:48 pm:

    i did terrible on the GRE's, relatively speaking, and
    i turned out okay.

    i'm seriously fat now. gained about 10 pounds. i was
    sick this semester and spent a lot of time sleeping, but
    i'm feeling better and getting back to the good eating,
    walking everywhere, and doing bikram yoga 3 or 4,
    sometimes even five times a week so it should be gone
    soon.


By platypus on Wednesday, May 18, 2005 - 02:09 pm:

    Wasn't there a big lawsuit about bikram yoga recently?

    I am seriously fat at the moment as well. I figure bicycling around Arcata is going to take a lot of that off fairly quickly.

    I am also thinking about starting an editing/proofreading/indexing service when I move. I think it's time to escape the claws of food service once and for all, and I can pay myself better than most of the employers in Arcata. Or that's the hope.


By jinx on Wednesday, May 18, 2005 - 02:21 pm:

    Yeah, yoga studios were challenging Bikram Choudhury's
    copyright. The settlement invloved him not suing them
    and them not using his name in advertising. My studio
    is certified, which is not why I chose it. I was taken with
    their schedule and pricing...and now I just love my
    instructors. I will miss them this summer, but I found
    another studio in Ohio.


By droopy on Wednesday, May 18, 2005 - 11:33 pm:

    hope last night was as good for you as it was for me, semillama. after a bottle of wine at the patio of a la madeleine, then a couple of rahr and sons ambers (fort worth beer) at the pour house, i ended up at a poetry slam at a place called the black dog tavern. it was a blast. my boss wants to go with me next week.

    heard through the grapevine about your baby, patrick, but not about the separation. sorry to hear that.

    damn. i just noticed i spilled j-b weld on the table. better clean it off before it hardens.


By Spider on Thursday, May 19, 2005 - 04:47 pm:

    My dad has been visiting me this week, and we've gone to Sheridan, WY (my favorite city in this part of the country) and to Devil's Tower and the Black Hills. That's where we were last night. We were supposed to go to the badlands outside of Glendive tonight, but I'm tired of driving so much. So were going to the library tonight (WOO! that's my second home here) and to Paradise Valley tomorrow. I'm kind of bummed because I had thought some of my roommates would be coming with us tomorrow, but they want to go to our ranch and watch the calves get branded. Huh.




By Spider on Thursday, May 19, 2005 - 04:48 pm:

    I stayed in Arcata during my roadtrip last year -- it's in a pretty part of California, and my brother and I ate at a little pizza place that was memorably good. Um, but I forget its name.


By D on Thursday, May 19, 2005 - 10:31 pm:

    Hi guys!
    Just wondering T.W.A. airlines in business??


By Nate on Friday, May 20, 2005 - 01:51 am:

    there's a pizza place in .. redway? or that one right next to redway that i can't remember the name of right now, though it is the one instead of redway for which the name should be readily remembered?

    that pizza place is good.

    platy, does jim dodge still teach at hsu?

    droopy, it's good to see you back, you fuck. i was wondering where the hell you went.

    spider, i'm sorry i'm a shitty letter writer.

    i have to go to bed.


By platypus on Friday, May 20, 2005 - 02:59 am:

    This Jim Dodge? Because if so than yes. Although because he's creative writing I probably won't interact with him very much.

    So yeah. If anyone, you know, knows of any housing opportunities in that area, let me know. Things are looking mighty depressing in my housing world right now.


By TBone on Saturday, July 30, 2005 - 09:39 pm:

    Agatha, do you grind your own coffee? My grinder recently stopped grinding fine enough. It was a Solis Maestro Plus. What do you use?


By Spider on Sunday, July 31, 2005 - 05:57 pm:

    I'm going to Portland for JVC Orientation tomorrow morning (staying overnight in Spokane on the way).

    God, guys, wish me luck! I'm so nervous about meeting the people I'm going to be living with next year. I want to have a good year, and I don't want to have any expectations about how it's going to go, especially concerning how (if at all) it could/will/might be better than this past year. Because I not-secretly do want it to be so much better, but if it's not, it's the failed expectation that's going to make me suffer.

    Oh, suffering! you are a harsh mistress.

    Shitty letter writers, here's your chance for repentance and renewal. You have a whole 'nother year to write.

    Anyway, you won't hear from me for a couple of weeks, at least. So enjoy life while I'm away!


By droopy on Sunday, July 31, 2005 - 06:39 pm:

    you can hold yourself back from the sufferings of the world, that is something you are free to do and it accords with your nature, but perhaps this very holding back is the one suffering you could avoid. - fk


    sorabji will suffer with spider gone.


By dave. on Monday, August 1, 2005 - 01:17 am:

    aye.

    spider, i'll try twice as hard to correspond.

    2x0=0.

    the music sitch has been pretty bleak, but boards of canada are releasing a new album in august, so i should be able to scrape together something by then.

    best wishes regarding your jvc adventure. i'm sure you'll be just fine. mwa!


By wisper on Monday, August 1, 2005 - 10:17 am:

    yay for spider getting in again!


By Spider on Tuesday, August 16, 2005 - 01:23 pm:

    I'm back! The boards are back! All is nearly right with the world.

    Things are looking good so far. My new community members and I get along (no red-flag personality clashes are immediately evident), we have similar interests, we laugh a lot...and get this.....people here actually offer to help you! They offer to take your dishes to the sink or get you a drink when they get one or carry heavy things for you. NO ONE did that last year. This is a very good sign.

    The weird thing is being "the experienced one" in a house full of newbies. I try so hard not to keep referring to things we did last year, but it's tough. And they look to me to figure out how to carry out [random JVC activity], and I'm like, "dudes, we can do it however we want. Pretend I wasn't here last year....how would you want to do it?" I really want us to create our own atmosphere and our own traditions.

    And I really do say "dudes."

    dave, you corresponded *and* sent music, so do not feel guilty.


By dave. on Tuesday, August 16, 2005 - 02:17 pm:

    ok. i wouldn't call it that, but if you want to give me the credit, i'll accept it.

    so, you're at the same location as last year?


By Spider on Tuesday, August 16, 2005 - 04:09 pm:

    Yep. I might have different kids, though I would really like to be with the same kids in their new grades.


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