stupid pet tricks


sorabji.com: The Stalking Post: stupid pet tricks
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By spiracle on Tuesday, June 7, 2005 - 11:59 pm:

    my cat fetches (when she was a kitten this would go on for hours)..now her adult little self can only retrieve for a few minutes at a time..she has a favorite "mouse" toy that she will only play with..and if i'm lucky she soaks the mouse in her water bowl before dropping it on my face while i'm sleeping..


By droopy on Wednesday, June 8, 2005 - 12:51 am:

    my cat has never liked any toy i or anybody else has ever bought for her. her new obsession is a broken tv antenna - this telescoping thing with a knob on the end that i drag across the floor.

    before that it was little metal memo clips. that made a cool skittering sound across the floor.


By heather on Wednesday, June 8, 2005 - 01:06 am:

    the idiot king's kitty is constantly on the lookout for pieces to
    collect for the robot she is constructing. anything metal and
    small enough to be carried is carefully stored in her food dish.


By platypus on Wednesday, June 8, 2005 - 01:24 am:

    Loki's new trick is pulling chairs over with his tail.

    He waits until about four in the morning, after he and the big cats have had a merry round of chase the jingly ball. First he rolls around on the table like a sexpot, making peculiar noises. And then, suddenly, he steels himself to the task, leaps down, and pulls every chair in the house over in the course of about thirty seconds. My landlords must think I'm insane. Or being beaten.

    It might be one of the top ten most annoying things ever. Right now he is determined to take out this spider which is making the rounds of the bedroom. He's very dedicated to this task.

    Now that I'm packing, all the cats are trying to get into the boxes. Several times they have been successful, and then regretted it and tried to get out, only to discover that they are stuck to the box with packing tape. Then they cry until someone comes and rescues them.

    I also got them a laser to chase, which Loki and Mr S both love, but Bell is having none of it. He looks faintly bored whenever the laser comes out, and after Loki and Shadow have gone insane racing around after it for a few minutes, he sighs and retreats to the bedroom. I don't know if he can't see it, or just understands that it's nothing he should care about. Loki's laser obsession has also transferred onto any reflected point of light (tea, phone, mirror, etc) and anything that jingles, since the laser is on a keychain. This seems to confuse houseguests.


By Antigone on Wednesday, June 8, 2005 - 01:45 am:

    Max's new trick is that he's young again.

    I moved in with my girlfriend a couple of months ago. She already had two cats and a dog, so the pet transition was...interesting. But all is cool now. When Georgia the dog barks, which is often, Max just gives her the "fuck you" look and wanders away. There's still tension between Zuzu (young female cat) and Max, but Max is an old fighter, even without his front claws. He holds his own. but the real magic has been with Toby, the middle aged male cat. Max has sort of taken Toby under his wing and taught him a few moves. They play chase each other around.

    So now Max is playing with toys again, and romping around like when he was a kitty. It's kewl. :)


By moonit on Wednesday, June 8, 2005 - 03:16 am:

    Ferg has discovered that the plastic part of the lid of milk cartons is quite fun to run round with, and it fits in your mouth and round your paw.

    She has a mouse too that she brings to either me or andrew when she wants to play. Its so cute.

    Molly is indiferent, but a laser pointer will have her racing round - while Ferg will climb walls to get that damn red dot thing.

    Bear watches. He just had another shot for his lukemia - and he's a bit scraggly at the moment. But soon he will be better, and whilst not playful will at least purr and cuddle and talk.


By kazu on Wednesday, June 8, 2005 - 09:07 am:

    CleoPickles likes to play fetch. I have all these little
    toys (including ones from Platy and Loki) and all she
    wants to play with is crumpled pieces of paper. When
    she was little she liked her toys and used to bring them
    to bed. Many a morning I would wake up with a cat
    teaser poking me in the butt. Her annoying thing is that
    she likes to push things off the coffee table, especially
    glasses of water.

    I'll be bringing her to Ohio in a few weeks. That will be
    fun. After a few days of the hissing and the growlies,
    she'll be chasing space ghost's tail and making futile
    attempts to include Seke in the fun.


By platypus on Wednesday, June 8, 2005 - 11:52 am:

    Loki also enjoys throwing his food bowl around.

    I've noticed that Mr Shadow seems to be getting younger too. He's not so into playing with Loki because Loki can be rough sometimes, but he's been obsessed with the throw rug in the living room lately. And he's always trying to get Mr Bell to play.

    It's funny how we get toys for cats and they pretty much ignore them in favour of paper pulled out of the waste bin, hair ties, mail, and all the other myriad things they really shouldn't be playing with. For the longest time all my outgoing mail would be punctured before making it to the post office.


By Dougie on Wednesday, June 8, 2005 - 12:01 pm:

    My mailman wraps the mail everyday in a thick rubber band. One of my cats and I have a ritual that after I retrieve the mail, I remove the rubberband, shoot it, and he retrieves it. He loves that game, and if you stop, he starts meowing at you. He doesn't like getting shot with the rubberband though.


By wisper on Wednesday, June 8, 2005 - 01:12 pm:

    My dad found this thing in the trash where he works. It's one of those lazer thermometers. It's really amazing, i love taking the temperatures of things that are 50 feet away, like a pot on the stove in the kitchen when I'm reading in their living room. One of the HVAC contractors said it was defective, it's off by 0.5 degrees every time. So they said dad could have it, though they couldn't see why he would want it. This is a $200 pro tool, and now it's a cat toy.
    Noodles and Vespa think it's their god. They see you pull it out and it's crazy time. They'll chase it for hours without ever getting bored, when you put it down they get quite upset.
    Vespa and Noodles are a psycho team. They'll run at each other and then do this Matrix style thing where they jump and continue fighting in mid-air. Then they land and do it again.

    Pixel is such a whore. I've never met a cat that was so starved for attention. I think it's because she spent most of her kittenhood locked alone in a basement until my sister stole her from the neglectful owner.
    When you're on the computer she will jump up on your lap and sit right down on the keyboard and look at you like "Oh, were you working? Behold my fuzzyness!" Then if you put her down on the floor she'll jump up your back and wrap around your neck like a scarf and start chewing on your ear. She can not be ignored. She'll sleep on your face if you let her. Whore.

    All the girls love plastic bags and ribbon. One day Pixel jumped into a cardboard box and the lid closed. And she tried to get out except that every time her head popped out, Noodles jumped up and swatted the flap closed, right onto Pixel's head.
    It went on forever. I laughed till i cried.


By droopy on Wednesday, June 8, 2005 - 01:21 pm:

    my cat - mattie bea - is sitting on the ground right now staring up at me and with this look that says "how can you be interested in anything else but me?"


By droopy on Wednesday, June 8, 2005 - 01:32 pm:

    actually it was a look that said, "you forgot to put food in my dish, idiot."


By TBone on Wednesday, June 8, 2005 - 01:48 pm:

    Blur adores plastic spiders from halloween. He bites them, pauses as if calculating, then tosses it into the air.

    He recently acquired a ball of yarn in which he showed no interest until he realized that it unraveled. Now my living room is yarn art.

    He will jam himself between me and my laptop if I try to use it. He doesn't know what to do about my PDA though.

    At night, he sometimes bites my toes.


By kazu on Wednesday, June 8, 2005 - 01:59 pm:

    cleopickles is extremely jealous of the laptop.

    at night and early in the morning she crawles on my chest, walks around in a circles before deciding to sit on my face. when i push her away, she turns around again she will rub her face against mine (i have seen her do this to the side of a cardboard box). she used to nibble my nose in the morning, now she sometimes kneads my shoulder. when she was little she used to sharpen her claws on my head. the cutest thing she's done lately is fall asleep on my chest using one of my boobs for a pillow.


By spiracle on Wednesday, June 8, 2005 - 02:03 pm:

    all of this talk of weird toys reminds me of the time my cat played with a raw green bean (for hours) until he lost/ate it...every so often i would take it and hide it behind my back and he'd dart around looking for it..BUT bring out the REAL cat toys and he could give a shit..

    cats are so weird..i guess that's why we like 'em..


By platypus on Wednesday, June 8, 2005 - 06:47 pm:

    Loki played with a grape for four straight hours and is now sleeping it off. I don't know what happened to the grape. I wouldn't think that he ate it, so it will probably be under the bed when I move.

    Actually, all of the kitties are asleep right now. I think it might be the rain. Usually they watch the farmer's market on Wednesdays, since it's in the street right in front of the house. But today they can't muster up the will to leave the bedroom. Shadow keeps trying to slowly move himself onto the laptop keyboard, which is his preferred sleeping spot.


By TBone on Wednesday, June 8, 2005 - 11:04 pm:

    A friend of mine has cats who like to steal grapes. He often finds giant raisins under furniture.


By semillama on Thursday, June 9, 2005 - 09:20 am:

    Space Ghost likes to take my plastic grocery bags I've saving for recycling out of the paper bags I keep them in, and spread them over my kitchen floor.


By kazu on Thursday, June 9, 2005 - 09:52 am:

    and then he sits in them, like he's built a nest. he also
    uses his paw to drink water, which is hilarious.


By TBone on Thursday, June 9, 2005 - 10:15 am:

    I know a cat named Squeaker who does that paw thing too. I love that.


By platypus on Thursday, June 9, 2005 - 01:01 pm:

    Loki does the paw thing. He makes a royal mess in the process.

    Lately he's been really into waste bins. He likes to pull the liners out and curl up in the emptied trash receptacle.


By spiracle on Thursday, June 9, 2005 - 02:16 pm:

    i had someone say, when they were visiting my house, "well, i'm never eating at your house" when they saw my cats prancing all over the kitchen counters..

    well...i don't know about you..but in my house we use plates..sheesh..

    its hard keeping them off things...anyone have any luck with that? i just can't be bothered..it's not that important to me..if you're fussy about everything then you don't have pets..especially not in door ones


By TBone on Thursday, June 9, 2005 - 02:27 pm:

    Blur knows that he's not supposed to be on counters and tables, but it doesn't stop him. He slinks off guiltily when he gets caught.


By Karla on Thursday, June 9, 2005 - 03:21 pm:

    My cat story: My son has a ball python that only eats live mice, but our neighborhood Petco routinely runs out of them. (I never thought this was possible.) Anyhow, hubby buys an extra mouse and stores it in the garage in the little cardboard crate it comes in with food, water and shredded paper, fattening it up for the kill later in the week. That night, we see our cat in the window with the mouse in her mouth. Score 1 for kitty. Next time, hubby put the cardboard crate into a cardboard box with a lid and weights it with garage junk. Same result. Cat 2, hubby 0. The next time, he buys a little plastic mouse crate and stows the victim on a high shelf in the garage. Strange clattering from the garage. He finds kitty batting the cage all over the garage to get at the mouse. Now its personal. The most recent victim is in a stronger crate hanging from a hook in the ceiling of the garage where he usually keeps the fishing poles. Kitty keeps climbing on the shelves scouting a way to get to it. My money's on her.

    Some disclaimers: 1. Kitty is a well-fed, indoor/outdoor cat with claws and instincts intact. 2. Snakes gotta eat too.


By spiracle on Thursday, June 9, 2005 - 03:35 pm:

    i've seen the "mice on ice" in the pet store..

    the picture on the outside of the frozen mouse parts makes me laugh..mice in ice skates..

    but your snake is probably too into the hunt of the LIVE ones


By platypus on Thursday, June 9, 2005 - 04:08 pm:

    The boys are allowed anywhere they want to go. They are also aware that if they violate anything they will get in trouble, so they are quite respectful. If they come up on the table while people are eating, they sit at the other end and watch--usually they get bored and leave after a while. They honestly aren't all that interested in the counters. Sometimes Mr B likes to sit on top of the fridge, but other than that the kitchen doesn't hold very much appeal for them. I think it's because nothing is forbidden, so they don't have a forbidden fruit complex.

    And Mr S, for some reason, refuses to go into the bathroom. I don't know if he's afraid of the bathroom, or just not interested, or what. Once he got in there by accident and hightailed it out of there so fast I thought he'd seen a spook.


By semillama on Thursday, June 9, 2005 - 04:54 pm:

    Space ghost loved the bathroom, and he absolutely has to be in there when you are in there. It's also where he's the most affectionate.


By semillama on Thursday, June 9, 2005 - 04:54 pm:

    make that "loves the bathroom" - nothing's changed.


By platypus on Thursday, June 9, 2005 - 05:37 pm:

    Loki adores the bathroom, especially when someone is showering. He likes to climb into the shower with whoever is using it. He'll also follow you in when you're using the toilet if you don't shut the door, which seems to upset some houseguests. He also has a minor love affair going on with the bathroom sink.

    In the summer, when it gets warmer, he hangs out in the shower because the tiles stay cool all day.


By Antigone on Thursday, June 9, 2005 - 07:13 pm:

    My GF's cat Toby used to do that, even licking off the tub after showers, until I introduced him to the wonders of the recycling/filtering water dish. He is parched no more.


By TBone on Thursday, June 9, 2005 - 08:49 pm:

    Blur licks the drops in the shower even though he has a filtering fountian thing, which he loves. He drinks all water. He drinks out of the toilet, and will knock over unwatched water glasses so that he can get at the contents.

    I just washed out his water fountain a few minutes ago. It was extremely overdue. A bunch of -- something -- had taken up residency in the filter, so I assume it's time to replace that.

    Speaking of gross water, a section of my city has a mandatory water boil advisory because some contractor hooked up a sewer line to the city water supply, and it wasn't discovered for several days.

    Fortunately, I'm not in it.


By D on Thursday, June 9, 2005 - 09:58 pm:

    My brother's cat used to tore up my Dad's kitchen, knocking the sugar canister, tore up box of tea, pull drawer and tore up bag of bread, you name it, pissed my dad off!


By heather on Thursday, June 9, 2005 - 10:02 pm:

    the vet we worked for this week says that she feeds her cats on
    the raw meat diet and they shouldn't need to drink water, she
    worries about them if they seem to be needing water.


By platypus on Friday, June 10, 2005 - 02:15 am:

    That seems kind of bogus.

    I am a big fan of raw/balanced diets, and the big cats eat mostly raw, but Loki has irritable bowel so I have to be very careful about what he eats, and raw meat doesn't agree with him very much.

    They have a filtering fountain, which they pretty much ignore. The big cats drink out of their water dish on the counter or turn the tap on when they're thirsty--Loki plays with all water just because he likes it, I think. If I had a bathtub I'm sure he would swim.


By moonit on Friday, June 10, 2005 - 06:08 am:

    Ferg drinks out of glasses.

    Molly and Ferg will both get in the shower to drink. Bear sits on the counter to get pats from Pandyr when he gets out.

    My old cat Duff used to eat fish food. Sometimes you'd come home and it would be all over the floor and all over his paws and face.


By Karla on Friday, June 10, 2005 - 03:46 pm:

    Update on the cat saga: Hubby retrieves the cage from its hook in the ceiling to find the mouse dead. Maybe mice weren't meant to live suspended 12 ft. in the air, even with all the comforts of home. Personally, I think kitty vibes killed it. Either way, the snake wouldn't touch it so she got her mouse after all. Of course, Petco is currently out of mice. On a side note: we tried last summer when one of the hurricanes was headed our way to get an "advance" mouse and they wouldn't sell us one because, they said, all the mice had been counted before they closed the store for the storm. I couldn't believe it. I told them if they could give me an accurate count of how many squrimy little rodents were in that case, I'd give them $100. They declined. It was a week after the storm before they had any mice to sell. Sheesh.


By spiracle on Friday, June 10, 2005 - 11:18 pm:

    i was at petco today..buying my "low tracking" litter (does this shit work?) i bought the 25 lb box to get a workout....when some lady walks in with her little plastic box yelling, 'where tha feeder mice??!!'

    i thought of you...

    but then i was pissed off she annouced it to the whole store (GO FREAKIN LOOK FOR THEM YOU LAZY COW)......

    and you know by this time i'm envisioning it being suspended in a hot garage above a hungry cat


By Karla on Saturday, June 11, 2005 - 02:37 pm:

    I know, I know... it sounds like mouse abuse, but it wasn't that hot and it had food, water and shredded paper to nest in. obviously we're going to have to come up with better accomodations for the mid-week mouse. my husband wants to get a big cage and breed them which makes a certain amount of sense, but I can't get past the thought of a whole crate of those nasty little critters in my garage. It would probably drive my cat insane. My cat does her business outside so I can't advise on the non-tracking litter. Petco would do everyone a favor if the feeder mice were "self-service" but unfortunately you have to track down someone to snag one for you. not that i would stick my hand into a case full of mice (this ain't fear factor, folks) but my son would. at any rate, we got a mouse from another pet store so the snake is sated for a few days at least. damn pets. they're more trouble to feed than my family.


By TBone on Saturday, June 11, 2005 - 10:22 pm:

    they need some sort of live mouse dispenser.


By heather on Sunday, June 12, 2005 - 01:36 am:

    there is a cat door now. fatty doesn't like to go through it. i
    think the cats are afraid of being attacked by something [each
    other] when they are half-way through. bastards.


    just kidding about the bastards thing.


By Nate on Sunday, June 12, 2005 - 02:41 am:

    nica goes through her cat door. she'll miss it when we move.

    it is kind of sad. she jumps half through, then wiggles her fatty folds through. they get caught behind her, bunched up like when you push a cartoon animal through a small hole. she is a cartoon animal.

    she has a patch of belly where the fur is wearing off. from the squeezing through.


By platypus on Sunday, June 12, 2005 - 03:14 am:

    I don't think the boys would know what to do if they had a cat door.

    And I have learned that no litter is non-tracking. I use Feline Pine because:

    a. It smells good. You know that wierd, ammonianate smell that lingers around litterboxes? I thought that was a cat pee thing--it's actually the "neutralizing" chemicals they put in that wierd clumping litter. When the cats pee in Feline Pine, it smells like I'm in a pine forest on a breezy afternoon.

    b. It's flushable.

    c. It's made from products that would otherwise go to waste, so it satisfies the dirty hippie in me.

    d. The tracking isn't too awful, partly because I have an uber-anti tracking litterbox, though. So it's hard to chalk it all up to the Pine. But it's not dusty, so it doesn't leave trails of litter grossness everywhere and impair breathing. Which is nice.


By heather on Sunday, June 12, 2005 - 03:14 am:

    oh nica


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