| THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016). |
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it's...graphic. Let me tell you about what's up my junk right now. I bought a menstrual cup back in February. It's changing my life. What's a menstrual cup? Well, maybe I'm the last chick on here to get with the Keeper/Mooncup/Divacup program. We're all some damn hip ladies. Maybe you've all been using cups for years and I'm way behind. But I'm on board now and I'm not going back. It's this cup thing. It's silicone rubber. And it's FUCKING KOOCH MAGIC. I love the little guy so damn much, I gave my 100 pack economy-sized box of tampons from Costco away. Fuck 'em. I'm never putting up with that nasty crap again. I'm getting so good at placing it properly, soon I won't even need to use pads as a backup. But I'm sewing some washable fabric pads anyway, and then I'll be free of the stranglehold that Tampax and Always has on my life 4-EV-R. When I think of that mountain of nasty plastic disposable pads and tampon applicators that *I alone* am responsible for, the one that's right up there with all the used diaper piles (oh people question the disposable diaper bullshit, but not the pads?) that will not even start to melt away for thousands of years... God, why didn't I do this years ago. So wasteful. Shame. But let's just take the environmental benefits as obvious. My Shove-y Thing, as I call it, is magic. It is clear and soft and you fold it up and shove it. It pops open inside. It catches the blood. Then, whenever it's convenient, you pull it out, dump the stuff out in the toilet or sink, wash it off with soap, and put it back in. That's it. At the end of the flow you just boil it for a few minutes to sterilize, and it's ready to go. Otherwise, it works like a tampon from god. It hold more than a super-sized one. Can't feel it if it's in right. Same bubbly warning feeling when it's full, but not as much leaking then. Like, no leaking almost. And trust me I put this thing through the test, since I'm on my 4th cycle with it and my last period lasted 14 days straight, thank you very fucking much. But my little silicone buddy took it all no problem. No more sleeping with a towel (or 2) under me. If it's not inserted properly? No problem. Just pull it out and try again. No more of that terrible dry chaffing scraping pain from taking out a tampon before it's ready. Oh god, the pain. You can take it out and put it back in whenever you want, no drama. You can leave it in for up to 12 hours, and even longer if you need to, no danger. No risk of toxic shock. No sucking up your twat's good and necessary cleaning juices. TWELVE goddamn HOURS. You can do dry run tests with it just for practice- try THAT with a tampon, I friggen dare you. Boy, that would feel reeeaal comfy. You can put it in a day before your period starts just to be safe. It's not absorbent, so it doesn't do any harm. Your crotch doesn't even know it's in there. You can clean it out and reinsert while you're in the shower! I do it all the time! It's so goddamn convenient! I'm learning so much. I didn't know the shit had layers. I didn't know it could be so red. I didn't know there were so many chunks of....me. But I pour mine out in the sink so I can see it, because I'm sick like that. And get this: one cup lasts a minimum of 10 years. I'm all set for period control until 2015, bitches. This one little silicone miracle is going to do the job of about 900+ tampons or 15 hundred pads. And it does the job well, oh yes sir it does. It costs a mere $40 and lasts 10 years. I haven't even dared to figure out how much this is saving me, I'll probably start weeping from joy. My sister said it was disgusting. I told her to do the math, think of the landfill plastic pad pile she's making and shoving unsterilized bleached cotton up your box, that's disgusting. I bet she'll have one by christmas. Yes I'm obsessed. No they aren't paying me for this. But for a few days this week I actually forgot I was on my period. How is that possible? Magic magic magic. |
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very cool, wisper. |
i need one of those for my ass. then, i would only take a shit when it was convenient for me. no more horrible runs to the bathroom. when you have a few minutes, just extract, dump in the sink or the toilet, rinse out and reinsert. and since the cycle never really ends, no worry about boiling to sterilize. YES! taco bell and starbucks will never run my life again. 30 minutes after a vente latte? you won't find me running from floor to floor trying to find a free stall! i'll be crapping in my cube, happy as a jaybird (a jaybird with a silicon poop parachute up his ass, that is!) god, this is fucking brilliant. i'm going to make a prototype tonight when i get home! thanks wisper! |
I have heard good things about the cup, though. It seems like a rather intelligent invention for dealing with that sort of thing, environmental greatness aside. Have you sent them your testimonial? Maybe they will respond with a free back-up cup! |
Hell, I am weird. I'll do it anyway. |
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this little menstrual cup, this vaginal vase, this catcher in the 'gina fills my head with surrealistic fancies. but i'll try to have the good taste to not post them. |
wisper is correct, i just never think of writing about such things [i also don't see the point of "applicators," are you afraid of getting something on your fingers? are you not going to wash?] other suggestions: organic food no flour lots of water lots of sleep a haircut i love my haircut |
the blood seems so healthy. it's such a beautiful red. i can dance with it and ride bikes with it. i don't have to worry about my clothes anymore (oh, the traumatic bloodstains!). i will put it where it feels comfy and my cooter pulls it in even further. it's weird. the first time i noticed it was back when i first started using the thing and i was scared i wouldn't get it out again. no biggie now. now i just shove my hand up there and grab. yup. |
how do you subtly wash your cup and bloody hands when you are at work? I can see that being slightly awkward. Other than that, I'm all about this idea. I don't know if I've ever told you all this, but the only time I got arrested it was for stealing tampons. They were the only thing I had ever stolen when I was a youngun, but I stole them fairly consistently for several years because I was punk rock and I resented having to pay for them. Anyhow, here's how my getting busted went: I got off work at the record store in the mall and stopped in at the drugstore to steal some tampons. As I walked out the door, the security scary noisemaker went off. None of the store workers even looked up. Regardless, I panicked and walked back over to the cashier counter. CASHIER- "Do you have an electronic organizer, or anything? Those sometimes make our beeper go off." ME- "No, actually I stole these tampons." (pulls out box of OB's and places them on counter...) CASHIER (gaping in disbelief at my stupidity...)- "I have to go get my boss." ME- "Okay." BOSS- "I'm sorry, but I'm required to call the police." ME- "Okay. Can I at least buy these and use one of the tampons? I'm bleeding right now." BOSS- "I'm afraid not." Cut to fifteen minutes later, I am escorted from the store by two beefy police officers. My dad, the superior court judge, is waiting for me at the curb. I am crying, but he seems to take it rather well. My dad did a little gladhanding, and my punishment was reduced to a $70 fine, which I had to pay for myself. That was the last time I ever stole tampons. Anyhow, I think I'm going to get me one of them bloodjugs. What brand do you all recommend? |
To get mine out i just push it to the bottom with super kegel muscle power. And pull it out and it goes *shhluck-POP* and there's your cup o' gore. Did you get the divacup or the keeper? I got the diva, and i hate that name. It's the worst and most retarded product name ever. That's what's stopping me from screaming it from the rooftops, the stupid stupid name. I like it because it's clear and i can see how much is in it. I was reading this thread before, and i realized how wrong i was. What i tried that fatefull evening was not a Keeper but the Instead cup, this shitty cheap-ass disposable cup that's just a rubber ring with a long plastic bag thing attached to it. Which you also have to fist yourself to remove. Ah the memories. Not quality shit like magic pretty Divacup who I'm in love with and would marry and shower with gifts if it were human. Special message to Agatha and kazu: it has conquered the brown phase. The brown phase is NO MORE! I have collected it in a cup and i raised the cup into the air in triumph and i laughed. Gone are the days where I'll have to figure how to deal with rotten motor oil stuff oozing out of the area for an undetermined amount of time. Cuppy friend does it all! ahahHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA |
Style A - After Childbirth Style B - Before Childbirth or if you've had a C-Section Heh. |
(please note my careful avoidance of mentioning bodily fluids) |
sometimes i have a little leakage, most of the time i'll use an og liner as backup. i like carrying the little pouch. love the story agatha. a friend of mine uses those instead thingys. ooh, once again reduced to peanut-gallery quality comments. lovely. |
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Really you only have to decide if you want your thing to be clear (Diva) or not (Keeper). I picked the divacup because i like that it's see-through, and that you can boil it when you're done. You can't boil the Keeper. Otherwise it's all the same. And the diva was available at all my local healthfood stores. But it's made in canada so it may not be that easy in your area. And as i side note, you should see me waiting around until midnight to boil mine, since i live with 3 guys and don't want to field any questions. "Oh, this? That's the thing i keep up my junk for days at a time, it gathers my menstrual blood you see. And yes I'm using your saucepan to wash it." |
I've done it a few times, it's not a big deal. It's not sticky or anything. Your crotch doesn't care. |
the keeper was the one at the co-op. didn't want to buy online. |
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