The Following Site from HELL


sorabji.com: What is your definition of hell?: The Following Site from HELL
THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).

By a disappointed farad on Thursday, January 23, 2003 - 03:19 pm:


By wisper on Thursday, January 23, 2003 - 06:15 pm:

    THIS SHIT IS GOLD!!!!

    i'm thinking that site has got to be a joke. Really.

    (from, Is Your Daughter Still a Virgin?):

    STEP THREE: The "finger-test"

    When all else fails, you must resort to the "finger test." This is a time-tested method dating back to the Old Testament. You must (with one eye closed) locate your daughter's "hymen" and verify that it has not been torn.

    Before you perform the "finger test," establish to your daughter that what you're doing is for her own good, and that under no circumstances is she to mention the "finger test" to anyone but you. Ever.

    AN OUNCE OF PREVENTION: Sex facts to curb her urges

    The best way to avoid ever having to resort to these measures is to scare your daughter straight. By informing her of the following facts about sexual relations, you are saving her from a ruined life and also improving the soundness of your own sleep.

    1. Sex causes poverty
    2. The female orgasm has been known to trigger fatal strokes
    3. AIDS can be transmitted through holding hands or telephone conversations
    4. Sex is enormously painful for women
    5. If you have sex, God will hate you
    6. When a man reaches climax, he spontaneously urinates


By wisper on Thursday, January 23, 2003 - 06:18 pm:

    oh wait, yeah, it is a joke. Just scroll to the bottom and click 'sinking boat'.

    Damn. I'm somewhat dissapointed.

    Oh well, I've still got Capalert!


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