See a lot of posts about having sex, great sex, unusual sex, all kinds of sex, but I need some advice about having STOPPED having sex. A common phenomen with people in long term relationships from what I've seen. I'd like to especially hear from people that have been in relationships 10+ years. When it was the first several years for me I thought it was fantastic and would always be like that, and would have never believed that it would happen years down the road. Sometimes after children or job changes or life changes of whatever around 10 years + it seems to fizzle. Just people I know, at least 3 neighbors, their parents, my inlaws, my grandparents, the list goes on and on... don't even sleep in the same BED. What gives? I still wanna sleep with someone, snuggle, have sex, and am willing to do just about anything to get back some of life's lost happiness, but why does it so many times mean divorce and starting over with someone else. Do people really change that much over the years - become totally different people - or the real person inside appears after that time? To me things should just be getting really good, settling down, reaching the point where there is complete trust, there are no boundaries in pleasing your partner, and experimenting with ways to make them feel great just makes it more exciting, even after many years... What do you think?

I think that what's really important just changes. Sex seems very important when everyone is relatively young. The blood boils, the lust lusts, the lovers scream for more more more. But you know, I think it's all about happiness. What makes you happy when your young? Sex, head over heels love, lust, chocolate, music, what? So you get all those things, and then what, I mean, you don't lost them, you can still get them, but I think sometimes you find there can be more to life. I can't help seeing my son in the eyes of my love, He doesn't know that I think of children. But somewhere, down the line, things like children become important, it's love and excitement channeled in a different direction. I've been luck to have to brill parents who seem very much in love, as for sex (Well, how many of us ever ask about that from your rents). But I know they still have their dreams, and that they also care very much for us kids, and get excited about our dreams. To them, and to me, the still seem like the two 18 year-olds they were when they got married. So, being in a long term relationship doesn't mean you have to forget about why you fell in love in the first place. You need to make sure you don't take each other for granted, and continue to act out of love. Metahari