Stupid virginity tricks


sorabji.com: Sex: Stupid virginity tricks
By Semillama on Tuesday, February 2, 1999 - 04:25 pm:

    Ok, I told cyst a bit back that I had an example of what pathetic whining can do for you. Here it is:
    Ok, so it's 1991, I'm 19 and still a virgin. I am at my (ex) friend scott's house, getting plastered on vodka and feeling sorry for myself. Somehow, we get into a game of truth or dare, and I resolve to take dares like hell. So, Scott's girlfriend ends up pulling my pant's down, revealing the small truth to everyone there. Big deal. Then, later on, she takes me off on a dare for her and feels me up. Hmm. Later still, i am engaged in pathetic whining about my virginity. Scott comes up to me and tells me he's got a present for me, and it's his girlfriend. By this time, I am completely trashed and thinking with the second head. SO, away I go and fling virginity to the winds.
    Later that night, after taking some other person home and returning to the party w/ scott and his girl, i hit the gas instead of the brakes and ram their house. Doesn't hurt the house but results in smashing the grill of my car.
    I tell my dad some lame ass story about it rolling into a telephone pole.

    How's that?


By Bagpuss on Tuesday, February 2, 1999 - 04:45 pm:

    Oh dear,

    are you labouring under the delusion that your whining had anything to do with the shag? It was the girlfiend's idea.

    Still, it's a bit sad all round really.

    remember to give to charidee mate.


By Cyst on Tuesday, February 2, 1999 - 06:28 pm:

    a friend of mine lost his virginity in a similar situation (he was cuter than the girl's boyfriend, who was also present. I think a hot tub and amateurishly mixed drinks were also involved.).

    anyway, he said it was like sticking his dick in a bowl of jello and hasn't to my knowledge been with a woman since.

    yesterday I got email containing the v word:

    Aaron's stripper ex-girlfriend is "named" Echo. I hate it when people have made-up, or made-up-sounding, names like that. Wonder what her
    real name is. He had her for dinner on Wednesday and the house still smells like clams. Double double entendre entended. Actually, he made spaghetti with clam sauce and some sort of fish rolled in Progresso Italian flavor bread crumbs.

    He wants me to go with him to open-mike night at Cafe Lena and read aloud some of the dialogues I have collected over the past ten years or
    so. This might, unless you object, which you probably will, include the conversation I had with you on the phone about Shell(e)y giving the Virgin his first tit job.


By Cyst on Tuesday, February 2, 1999 - 06:30 pm:

    a friend of mine lost his virginity in a similar situation (he was cuter than the girl's boyfriend, who was also present. I think a hot tub and amateurishly mixed drinks were also involved.).

    anyway, he said it was like sticking his dick in a bowl of jello and hasn't to my knowledge been with a woman since.

    yesterday I got email containing the v word:

    Aaron's stripper ex-girlfriend is "named" Echo. I hate it when people have made-up, or made-up-sounding, names like that. Wonder what her real name is. He had her for dinner on Wednesday and the house still smells like clams. Double double entendre entended. Actually, he made spaghetti with clam sauce and some sort of fish rolled in Progresso Italian flavor bread crumbs.

    He wants me to go with him to open-mike night at Cafe Lena and read aloud some of the dialogues I have collected over the past ten years or so. This might, unless you object, which you probably will, include the conversation I had with you on the phone about Shell(e)y giving the Virgin his first tit job.


By Cyst on Tuesday, February 2, 1999 - 06:36 pm:

    oops, sorry. wanted to fix the formatting before it was too late but I guess it was.


By Squeezable on Wednesday, April 7, 1999 - 11:49 am:

    I LOST IT IN A TENT ON A REMOTE I N D O F F T H E W E S T C O A S T O F S C O T L A NDfun fun fun