I have this male friend who doesn't dig blow jobs. He is the second man I've met with this anomalous lack of fancy. I was blown away(!). I thought all y'all were just hard-wired, as it were, to dig on those. Anyway, he says the sensations ok and he gets off, he just doesn't like them so much. OK, well. Interesting. But he added "A hand-job's ok..." Well, shit. What the hell comprises a good hand job? I never was any good at that. Can't get the rough workman-like hands gliding with consistent rhythm, because there's no natural lubricant like spit and all that. You know, I'm talking th spontaneous making-out-on-the-couch type of handjob, not one with lubriderm beside the bed. What makes a good handjob? Eh?

i think that www.jackinworld.com has a whole section on it (i think it's kind of wild that this website exists. it's unbelievably thorough). oh yeah, i found it: www.jackinworld.com/qow/q24.html you'll see that different guys have different opinions on what women need to do better. personally i think that some women are a little too careful with it and don't hold the penis tightly enough. don't be afraid to be firm. also, i like variation (change of rhythm, two hands, one hand, different angles and strokes etc), but in order to come i need some consistency - keep the same rhythm and fairly quick pace (or increase it gradually, smoothly) and when you can tell your guy is "getting there," keep doing exactly what you're doing, don't release and change technique. losing the rhythm often means losing the momentum. if you don't have a great sense of rhythm, put on some appropriate music and follow the beat... that sounds a little too predictable to me, but it might be an idea. and finally, an important point... if you're not into it, don't even do it. if the guy is remotely intelligent he'll sense it if you don't enjoy it at all and have to act interested. it is obviously a much better experience when you feel that the woman who is doing this gets turned on by it. to me, one of the greatest turn-ons in any kind of sexual experience is sensing that my girlfriend is turned on and having a good time.

I can only achieve the big "O" with my left hand, even though I'm right-handed.

that explains everything and yet nothing at all Jim

had jobs are kinda tricky margret, a good will be determined iof he busts a nut or not, ther is no inbetween. if you can bring a man to orgasm with your hand, consider yourself a champ. the way you hold it, the tightness, the movement, all that shit has to be just right, just like MCel says.......also, there is a higher risk of chafing simply because of the lack of moisture, and also it's a foreign hand (we like own the best i believe)......

Never had a descent hand-job myself. I find that the women, who have attempted such a feat with me, have treated the ol' pork sword like an indestructable piece of hardware...relentlessly trying drive my shaft into the pelvic region. 2 words: lighten up.

Waffleboy-- so the PajamaBoy mystique is still intact, eh? Oh... and how about those pump thingymajigs? I bought one of those silly contraptions once, and MY GOD, it's easier to put together a 1,000 piece, two-sided jigsaw puzzle. Once together, the damn thing didn't even work right. Oh, and some time ago I was told that I could experience a mind-altering orgasm if, just at the moment where it's gonna "happen," you hold an ice cube to your *cough* scroatum, and continue "bringing it home," that the results will be quite pleasing. However, upon trying this, all that cold ice did was to deflate Monsieur Happy, and leave a puddle. Maybe I was just being gullable by trying this.

The other day my boytoy was at my house (I'm not dating him, just toying with him, hence the name). We were dry-fucking (aka clothes-burning, dry-grinding, etc.) pretty much all day. Just because it is incredibly fun. I decided that his willy needed a little more fun, and I proceeded to give him a hand job. He came in two minutes. He's never come that fast before, and I think that because of all the teasing and rubbing, he was almost there. It was great.

I am curious, do the ladies get their rocks off seeing a man pop his top like that? is that erotic? is the mess erotic? is the sight erotic? is the feeling erotic? is the taste erotic? I just have to wonder. I recall reading some editiorial column somewhere and the guy was talking about how he finds it hot to watch himself blow his load, the projectile, the quanitity etc. He said the more he came and the harder the projectile, the more erotic, and you know...........i kinda have to agree....it is strange but it s true for me anyway, if I can hit the headboard it's a good night. I guess the intensity of a hard on and the act of coming is somehow connected to a man's prowess as a seed planter, the more come that reaches the ceiling fan the more "virile" he is...maybe????? ....ladies & Jim thoughts......

LOL @ Ladies & Jim... I'm a headboard shooter is well, if I allow myself to let loose. Somehow, the sight of splotches all over the wall (I don't have a headboard) isn't something I want to have to explain. The only time I really let loose is when someone is there for the ride. Ya know? I don't find the taste erotic, unless I'm watching someone else who finds it that way. The sight of cum though, does turn me on.

thanks Jim I always look forward to your input. i actually have a bullseye on the wall above my bed, unfortunately my poor wife is often in the way...(as I guide my jelly legs to the closet for a towel)

*ahem* I know I addressed my...lack of experience in another board, so you understand I'm not the best representative of the female gender to be answering this question. BUT I would imagine that the sight of the *man* enjoying himself would be quite erotic, while the sight of the...*projectile* would not be. That's all I have to say.

I love this place. LOVE IT!

oh but the projectile is the key, all the enegery absorbed, all the frustration taken in, all the emotions collected are all released to a ......ah hell forget it

*SPLAT*

I love watching a man cum. I actually find it really erotic for a man to cum on my stomach or breasts. It's SOOOOOOOO sexy. I especially love to have a guy fuck my tits and then cum on them.

whooooooooo........thank you for that

Just keep it out of my hair!

Yeah hair bad, stomach, breasts good I read (in that same book I got the deep technique (?) from that if you pull a guys middle (? will check this later) toe when hes about to blow it enhances the experience...

Margret, your male friend is one of the following: VIRTUOUS, SEXUALLY NAIVE or REPRESSED. Sorry, but there isn't a man alive who doesn't enjoy receiving ORAL favors. ORAL SEX not only provides the utmost in pleasure, but it's also the quickest way to achieve orgasm. Especially for those who suffer from SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION. From a technical standpoint, MASTURBATION provides the strongest EJACULATE. But pleasure wise, ORAL SEX leads the way.

I have to disagree there REBEL, I prefer sex over a blow anyday, and I pop my top alot harder with sex or masturbation. You are correct in the sense that i too can't imagine a man not enjoying a blow. However, I am a control person, so it often takes me longer to come that way, it requires a little more concentration, and jerking off i think provides the least amount of results due to the quickness of it and for some the frequency. However, if you put yourself off long enough while enjoying some quality ALONE TIME, I have found the ejaculate to be.... ah what the hell, I have said too much, but i have to say this is one of the more amusing threads....,............. bottom line REBEL, i think it varies from man to man. Some guys get off best with the vacuum cleaner, and some hate sex altogether, as perplexing as it is

No, man, this is the most sensual critter I've ever met, this guy. Apparently the head of his cock is really sensitive and women can't seem to get it through their swirling tongues. I dunno.

knew a guy who preferred hand jobs to blow jobs (though both worked) because of the greater amount of pressure. so, how does he like the combo hand/blow job that waffleboy once described in another thread?

The most intense orgasm I've ever had was (get this) a hand job by my wife. It's never been duplcated. I don't know what it was that time but I still think about it.

a guy who can give a decent handjob is worth his weight in gold. so many males have wretched fingerfucking skills. what a pity.

uhhhhhh.........uhhhhhhhhhhh......hmmmmmmmmm.........hmmmmm....I would like to think guys are n fact PROS with hand jobs, maybe I am missing something here with that one....I agree Beaver it is a totally different sensation, I have always heard you can duplicate it by jerking off with the hadn you DON"T use regularly. speaking of guys and mastabutory habits, ladies...is penetration necessary/preferred when getting off by your lonesome???????

guys? pros with handjobs? *ahem* well, maybe when doing it to themselves. but many men are just too rough and clumsy when doing it to women. as for your query about penetration, nope...it ain't necessary at all. but then again, it can be fun for a diversion.

oh, see from the context of your post i thought you were a male........therefore I thought you were referring to handjobs to other guys. Which lead me to believe you were a gay man, so obviously I was confused.

you thought i was a guy? hmmmm...ah, well. that's cool. if i were a dude in the business of jerking off other guys, i'm sure that i'd have a better grip on the situation (pardon the wretched pun). anyway, your question 'bout penetration was interesting. this whole discussion is interesting, in a clinical-yet-prurient way. i think a handjob can sometimes be more intense than actual sex. it's an underrated technique.

Hmmmmm......let's see....yellow pages...aha, aha, yep, there's the listing..Dude-Guy Jerk Off Service...listed just below pipe cleaners......

Nine times out of ten women orgasm through manual or oral stimulation over the whole thrusting penis thing. If you wanna get a girl off, and you're not skilled enough to do both, go for rubbing the clit over ramming your fingers in and out of her. both is better, but not nessesary.

Masturbation can have negative consequences. See exhibit #1...... ht tp://www.ampland.com/humor/single.jpg

Gee, my wife would beg to differ with you, allthough I am a champ at all three, the boloney pony is on the top

So, Dexi... What would you suggest as far as tecnique itself? You mentioned earlier that we don't do such a hot job... Give us some help.

Long dirty jagged fingernails, that's what they like. Trust me on this one. (snicker-snicker)

boloney pony? ah, anyway, that's why I said nine times out of ten. Most women. etc. It's not an absolute law...some women will differ. Or maybe she's just faking it.

I can't come from penetration. At all. Ever. I calmly explain this to new bed buddies, because I don't want them feeling like it's them. They all express varying degrees of familiarity with this phenomenon, and they all say no biggie. I think though that in their heart of hearts they all think their wonderdick just might be the rosetta stone which frees me from the tyranny of the clitoris and enables the truth and freedom promised by the vaginal orgasm. I don't mind their efforts.

A guy I've been seeing for a while, off and on, told me the other night that I gave the most incredible hand-jobs. I told him there were other "jobs" I was capable of performing.

uhm, GEE!! .....she doesn't fake, never has, nevr will, you have read my posts here for a while now, do i seem like the type to sucomb to a woamn who has to fake it, yes just the mere thought can insult my (fraile at times) male ego, but, refraining from to many details, you will have to trust me, she doesn't have to fake it..besides, I am not sure I buy your statement to begin with, but then again I don't own one of those units.....(i am not sure what the hell it was but that really irritated....ah forget it!!!!!)

better yet I would dare to say ,that a possible reason for GEE's statement is that most don't know what the hell they are doing, a lot of women are to insecure, or too nice to bring it up the fact they aren't coming for fear of breaking that fragile male ego, (Margret, you need not respond, you are an exception) ......again, maybe I am the exception, so all of this is null and void, but I don't want to accept I am the exception, surely I am not alone, my s/o would not let me leave the bed if I didn't make her come, I mean occassionally we both just can't do it because ther is too much coke/whisky racing through our system, but as far as normal sex goes, she wouldn't have it. I think that goes back to our first time, she did , I didn't, it was condom thing at the time, maybe she esablished terms that way, but maybe I like to give more that receive, maybe I would feel like a shit if I didn't make her come........she showed me how, Do many other girls show their men, HOW? Do guys ever sit with their girls and show them HOW to give a good hand job?????? I mean why are we still reading in these silly-assed girly mags like Cosmo, Redbook, Marie Claire etc. etc. that so many women are faking it and they are offering so many ways to achieve THE ULTIMATE ORGASM. Those articles are there because....what?.....even though we know our bodies we still like to read about it? or or....there are to many people who are fucking ignorant when it comes to their bodies? Wouldn't the sheer purpose and nature of a vagina make it so that penetration reveals the biggest and best orgasm, is my wife really the exception, strangly enough, I NEVER did the DEED with her orally, much less manually (it's had to duplicate or superceed someone's own touch).. I just couldn't do it, UNTIL, I saw another woman do it to her, now it's the easiest thing to achieve, WHY is that? I mean I know the answer, but it seems there is an abyss of ingorance when it comes to sex, with our partners, but then again, i have had 5 years to get to know this woman, I realize not all of you have regular s/o muchless are married.... once again, I have said to much.........

my girlfriend used to be unable to orgasm through intercourse, she needed manual clitoral stimulation (that sounds really technical). i didn't know this when we first started having sex, but i knew it was fairly common. she was my first sexual experience, in terms of intercourse anyway, and after we had had sex a few times i asked her if i was doing okay, basically. i hope i chose some better words than that, but i don't remember. i probably sounded clueless, because well, i was. she told me that she thought the sex was fantastic and that i was the only guy she had had orgasms with through intercourse, and that it really made a big difference to her - it made the whole experience of sex twice as appealing to her. at the time i didn't even know that she had orgasms with me (i told you i was clueless). i thought she was pretty loud, which i loved, but i wasn't sure whether she was just really enjoying it and feeling good or if she was actually having orgasms. i also considered the possibility that she was faking it, because i knew she loved me very much and i thought it would be logical that i was horrible at this since i just started, and maybe she just didn't want to hurt my feelings. i confronted her with this and she assured me that she was definitely not faking it and she never would. she just really loved the sex. we're still together and still having great sex. but i don't really understand why i would be able to bring her to orgasm when past boyfriends couldn't "deliver." i am definitely no big macho superhero casanova. our first attempts did not last long, which of course was my fault, but she reached orgasm really quickly. we have talked about this and wondered whether it could have something to do with the shape of my penis or something, but it seems like it is more of an emotional thing. she is really really in love with me like she hasn't been before with anyone, and i am very much in love with her. couldn't it be that our minds and hearts are just so excited about the whole situation that we both achieve sexual pleasure really easily?

Waffles, is that cocaine and whiskey, or Coca-Cola and whiskey?

that would be cocaine... 10-4

You have the right to remain silent, if you choose to....

....stay high thats is perfectly within your rights

Waffles, what position are you using? Surely not the missionary.

it varies, although when were are sloppy and silly, thats the most convienent, it just depends on how fucked up we are....why do you ask Doc?

My personal experience has been that I can never get her off with that position. It must be the anatomy of it all.

oh my....when I refer to the missionary, let me refine that, missionary as in, her legs closed, mine on the outside, me on top, cervix knocking, pelvic bones hitting the critical parts kinda missionary, I (we) have found this is the best often encourgaing repeat perfromances in one sitting, give that a try, all the critical spots are hit it seems, it give me the control to send her to mars and back which is ideal!!!!

My wife has a very small tilted pelvis. (both kids had to be c-section) I think that has something to do with it. As far as women before her, I was too dumb and young to know what I was doing. I do agree with asking and showing your partner what is most pleasurable. (assuming you have good timing) If I get her off orally then the "doggy" style she will get off from intercourse otherwise it's a gamble.

Also why does she want to go to Mars, I thought women were from Venus. LOL

wouldn't you want to to Venus? I would. I long for a matriarchal society in which men are slaves of women and near extinction as well...

As long as that slavery is sexual only.

it usually is in these alternate universes, don't worry

If that was my universe,I,d at least have to have my house cleaned and the laundry done,before any slave of mine gets nookie.

Fuck cleaning the house...clean my boots.

yes madam.....anything else

well WAFFLES, the reason most women orgasm through manual or oral stimulation over the pumping penis, is because the top two thirds of the vagina have no nerve endings. Which means we feel Nothing there. It all happens near the front. The act itself may be enjoyable, but the pure physical sensations are near the opening. (You know what that means, don't you, guys? It really Doesn't matter how big your penis is. Once you get past a certain point, it's all moot.)

I've always said that if you become an expert with your tongue, they'll follow you through the streets. (male or female)

No, see, honey, you need to do your Kegels on a regular basis. Then, as he is thrusting, contract...it will lift your pelvic floor, and he'll miss your cervix, and hit, instead, something called the cul de sac, which is, well, a cul de sac next to your cervix and well served with nerve endings and is very very nice. Of course, it also helps if he knows what the fuck he's aiming for. So sleeping with the wrong guys might be an issue too.

thanks Lucy, I knew there was more to it than that because I couldn't have been doing so right all this time if there wasn't anything up there

I can only climax with my left hand. And I'm right-handed.

Reminds me of a song this guy(i think John Mayhal)is singing:"Whats wrong with me?I am so horny I can,t see,all the men make me so mad,with all the woman that they had,all I have is my HAND,for satisfaction everynight.And I read a poem once by Mark Twain,it started out:I stayed up late to masterbate,it felt so nice.I did it twice.Thats all I can remember but it went on,and near the end,he was banging it and slamming it on the floor.

fucking southpaw!!!

In regards to Gee's response above, I had to consult with the lovely Mrs. Waffleboy..here is what she had to say...... Of course there are nerve endings up there! Where did this girl take biology? There just aren't as many as the first 2/3rds. The first 1/3 has the most nerve endings in either male or female bodies. That's why oral is so powerful, but so is penetration, because when you have sex it hits all that first 1/3, too. Why I like penetration after getting hot is because it feels empty when I come without your penis there. It squeezes nothing if you're not there. Also, this girl is very unenlightened, did she ever hear about G spot? You hit it all the time. And you can't hit it orally. Really P*****k, I'm going to have to stay very late tonight if I'm giving biology lessons all day.

Ummm. Well, it's great that Mrs. Waffles has a G spot and all. I know about the 1/3 thing. The nerve endings which comprise the G spot are buried behind muscle, whereas the nerve endings of the clitoris are right up out there. I also like a bit of sumpin sumpin inside when I come, but the sumpin sumpin is not the cause of the orgasm itself, or hasn't been so far, though I do hear great things about the 30s for women.

You got it Margret! It's all uphill after around 27 or so! Woo Hoo!

the 1930s?

Dear Mrs. Waffles, Bite me. Love, Gee

I wish that I had seen sarah do the dear-so-and-so thing on the Nate Dream thread before I did it here. Oh well. Call it an homage.

I whack it every morning. Otherwise i have a raging hard on all day.

Can you do any tricks with it? Can you tie it in a knot?Do you take pictures when you whack it,or do you have a whack cam?I hear there is money to be made from this.Hey have you ever sold your sperm?

you people make jesus cry. you dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty 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people.

How do I entice my wife to want to give me a hand job? It's by far my favorite pleasure. I have tried everything, and I'm a pretty attractive guy. Romance inspires her to make love and my acting all sexy makes her laugh. If I ask for it, I feel awkward or selfish. I love to give her oral sex. Nothing excites me more. I wish she were into my penis the way I am into her vagina. Any suggestions?

First of all I am a Male and that i stumbled this interesting topic out of curiosity. and that to me sperming on any thing is discusting, and same with putting fingers in a girls vagina, same with licking it its grose as hell. o and not to mention that when you ejaculate, alot of your energy gets lost and the "sexual moment" gets lost, and then you start to get sick to the stomic. Thinking back, about it after wards. saying "i cant beleve i have just done somethign that nasty" and then it haunts you for the rest of your life. DON'T FORGET ABOUT STD's MEN AND WOMEN STD'S STD'S STD'S !PLEASE READ ABOUT STD'S ARE VERY NASTY AND YOU DO NOT WANT TO HAVE THEM. but what i said about STD's dident have to do anythign what i said above. i was just warning you about them. and for the Records i never had sex or even have a GirlFriend but have watched porn, its sickning stuff, and it haunts me. but read this post carfuly and try to understand it, and engrave it in to your brain, and make sure you look back at this. please.

i understand your post. you're paranoid about STDs and it has totally fucked up your ability to appeciate one of the activities that you are biologically wired to enjoy the most. you need to stop being such a pussy. there is so much worse in this world to worry about than STDs, and if you worried about any of it to this degree you'd never leave the house.

nate, you forgot to mention that unknown male is gay.

he might be. but probably growing up in a situation where gays are the demon anti-christs, so instead of understanding himself to be gay he is just disgusted by sex. but gay sex without sperm everywhere just sounds lame. i don't know. the kid just has to loosen up, regardless of how he ends up oriented. unless he's a true asexual. in which case, fuck, i don't know. collect ceramic cats or something.

i know a cat named way out willie he's got a cool little chick named rockin' millie he can walk and stroll and susie q and do that crazy hand job too papa told willie, you'll ruin my home you and that hand job have got to go willie said, papa, don't put me down they're doin' the hand job all over town Hand job, hand job, hand job, doin' that crazy hand job mama, mama look at uncle joe he's doin' that hand job with sister flo grandma gave baby sister a dime said, do that hand jive one more time well, the doctor and the lawyer and indian chief They all dig that crazy beat way out willie gave 'em all a treat When he did that hand job with his feet Hand job, hand job... willie and millie got married last fall they had a little willie junior, and a-that ain't all you know, the baby got famous in his crib, you see Doin' that hand job on TV Hand job, hand job, hand job, doin' that crazy hand job.

i collect ceramic cats...

as an ersatz sexual life? do you still paint? have you changed your mind about selling that piece?

Are you still writing Nate?

I saw the blue man group on pbs last night.. i know they are so comercial (which isn't always a bad thing) but what they are doing is so awsome and inspiring.. if only to push myself to 'find my biss' as they say..(i'm still looking) which piece? i can't remember and neither can you can you?

i'm pretty sure it was a mixer. it was definitely a kitchen machine. i believe it was orange, though maybe that was wrong. i'm starting to write again, dougie. being in a relationship seemed to give me writer's block. as i distance myself from that it is coming back.

Ah..that is sort of coming back to me..I think my compromise was to do a mini mixer but i never did..i suck.. in one of my moves i left my favorite coffee maker picture on the curb while i was unpacking and it disapeared pretty quickly before i realized what i'd done..I can only sleep at night if i imagine it found a good home..i had to load myself up with benadryl that night to sleep...and on really bad nights i swig the coveted cough mixture with codine.. that's so sad..it doesn't take much beyond that to knock me out which is why i have never taken the vicodin I always get prescribed before going on weird vacations without hospitals around..I know if i have some bone sticking out of my skin i will be forced to take it, however.... i had too much redbull and yeiger(sp?) one night and thought i was going to die...seriously.. i'm a big paranoid baby.. ok..what a tangent.. but you talk of appliance paintings and all i can do is mourn my coffeemaker...

that is horrible. but, then again, most likely it was stumbled upon by someone who was completely stoked to find it. i'm sure it is hanging in a place of prominence, proudly displayed and frequently commented upon. cody gives me crazy dreams. not good-crazy, either. i just read something on here that i wrote several years ago. i had been in vegas, drinking hard. the day after i got back, recovering, detoxing, i had a major panic attack. in the night, unable to sleep, a partial line from a tatu song looping in my head. i thought i was going to die. i can get close to that if i drink too much coffee, or imbibe any other stimulant, and then feel the need to sleep. being wired physically and mentally tired, or physically tired and mentally scattered. anxiety is crazy. if you ever decide you can sell a painting, you should let me know.

"yo, earl...what you pick up that peice o' shit fo", "thawt i cud uze it to strain ma blak i peez, bubbah" that's what i imagine happened to it...

goddamnit, spiracle. is it really so culturally barren when you live?

"goddamnit" ?? why such language? who are you made at? me? or people for having to strain their peas? but, "seriously" houston is amazingly "international" i just can't imagine why anyone would want to steal a stupid painting.. maybe someone stole it to seal up some sheetrock damage or something..it did have a pretty sturdy frame on it..i stretched it myself..

i meant "mad" ofcourse, if i sounded like a native, then it would have come out sounding like "made" i'd been to france recently and they were so "made" that i didn't look/sound more texan.. (i'm fixin' to do the its-friday-and-i'm-goin-home-dance)

i'm not mad at anyone. i just don't know why you're set on assuming the worst. i mean, you're sad it's gone- why can't someone be happy they "found" it? i'd have been happy. though i'd probably have ransomed it for the mixer. all i know about houston is the 'stros and some story this guy in dallas told about not spitting your watermelon seeds onto the lawn in houston unless you wanted watermelon vines. all i know about dallas is big hair, friendly folks, and good bbq. people like paintings.

spiracle - bring some paintings to fort worth during the fwada gallery nights and i can probably get you wall space.