This weekend at some fufu art gallery opening, i was sitting in a row of old movie theater seats with my wife. we were sipping our whisky and this older woman comes up and says.."you know, my daughter would be crazy about you, she loves guys like you........." and i am kinda thrown a back and I say "uhh thanks....i think ?!?" she proceeds to tell me how she has a thing for "geeky looking guys" ...(i guess the black rimmed specs make me look like a geek or something..????)and my wife and I are sitting here thinking a) she just called me a geek b) my wife is waiting for the opportune time to not only shoo this old art fag bitch away but to put her in fucking place. And I can see my wife's annoyed face but she is patient and polite. Mostly because the fact the bitch went on talking for a good five minutes or more with no regard that our arms were locked, sitting close and the shiny white gold rings on our fingers. Finally when the bitch finishes reeeling about how her daughter is in some fine art school in NYC, some school i have never heard off and procceds to condescend me for not knowing, I ask how old she is and she says 18, i laugh...and my wife chimes in "may be alittle too young for him" (maintaining all politeness) and she says "ahhhhhh nooooooo not at all".....and then my wife looses her politeness and says "well considering he is 24 and I married him 3 years ago , I am think he might be a little too young amongst other things for her...." "ohhh....I am sorry......" and she waddles off with her tail somewhere between her legs. wtf is that all about. Was she drunk? I think a bit, becasue later she grabbed my wife and kept insiting she was wearing mens perfume......my wife isnsited not and even told her the brand and she wouldn't accept it..." My synopsis, 50+, recently divorced, lush looking for young tail. I suspected had if i played along, she owuld have offered to show me some pictures of her 18 year old daughter at her house later that evening. anyway....there ya go...

I think your right,you should have asked her if she had any cash,or how low does her boobs hang,or if she was bugging you two for a three-way,that would have got rid of Ms.Thing.

Mmm, I wouldn't call that lady a bitch...she was probably crazy or drunk, like you suggested...in which case, you can't really hold it against her.

THANKS RHI for the sweet words in my guestbook. it's amazing, 1000+ people have visited my site in 3 months and only 21 have signed it...

when i was younger and living in new england - or at least back there visiting - it was common for older women i didn't even know to walk up to me and say "i have a daughter/granddaughter you can marry." it was a yankee thing. i don't know what the story is with your woman, but some women actually think that that's a valid way to start a conversation.

No problem, Waffles! Glad to be of service to ya...

It's a Jewish thing as well. Someone once suggested to a friend of mine (tongue in cheek, somewhat), that one way to find a nice Jewish mate would be to go to synagogue, and sit next to a middle aged woman, and after services, causually mention being new in the area. "Oh, my cousin Selma has a son about your age....you should meet him, you two would get along well."

Waffles, so you met my mom?!

yes, next time you see her tell her to keep her mouth shut before her ass falls out of it

I should be so lucky. I think it would be funny if some older womean cam eup to me and said " I have daughter you'd better stay five states away from." or if a young woman cam e up to me and said, "You know, you'd be a perfect match for my mom." Or if aliens landed and told me I was a perfect match for their hybrid daughter. Oh, i am listening to Devo, btw.

We have a family friend...late 40s...very refined and educated...VERY rich...handsome...lives in Portugal... My mother is always teasing me about him making a good husband for me. I think that's disgusting. He's known her before she was even married. It's almost incest, and it's certainly cradle-robbing...and the thing is, she's also always making comments about him being her idea of the perfect husband, so it's like she'd like him for herself but since she can't...she gives him to me! Ewwwww!

does he have email? I had a portuguese nanny. she taught me how to ask for sweet bread and linguica. the mop demonstration lady at the grocery store yesterday told a friend of mine that me and him were "a cute couple." I'm not sure exactly what that means. I'm tall, thin and dark and he's stocky nordic. we do not match. and we're not a couple, either. but I guess platonic male/female friends don't go out grocery shopping, using the same cart, discussing produce, together. I felt sorry for her. no one wanted to watch her mop/broom demonstration, except we did anyway to be nice. I even inquired about prices. ($15.)

smooth noodle maps?

I have a friend who would love you, Sem. Unfortunatly she's married with children right now, but aside from that, you'd be perfect for her.

all of the women who would be 'perfect' for me are like that. I think that makes them perfect is that they are completely unattainable. The problem is that I don't think the woman exists I'd be 'perfect' for. If I happen to meet such a creature, expect a short engagment, long honeymoon.

She's considering leaving her husband, so you may be in luck. I don't think anyone's "perfect" for anyone else. And the one that's Good for you is usually the one you get bored with really quickly.

Isn,t Gee smart?

Yes!

yeah but it was my mom