How Hard is TOO Hard?


sorabji.com: Sex: How Hard is TOO Hard?
THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).

By Steeljam on Wednesday, December 22, 1999 - 11:31 pm:

    Hey, A problem? I don't know. Need a little advice I guess. Maybe I need to see a doctor or something.
    It's about this dick thing. I was about 31 or 32 before I finally realized it wasn't supposed to stay hard 24/7. Now it's up about 75% of the time. Is this normal?
    It gets so hard a cat can't scratch it ( this has been to my advantage as I have 3 cats, who are always in the way no matter what I have going on )
    Approx 14 to 15 days a month I'd say you couldn't turn the skin on it with a pipewrench. Is this normal?

    Also, while I'm on the subject, How big is too big? Just curious.


By Moonit on Wednesday, December 22, 1999 - 11:50 pm:

    nooo that cant be a real serious question. nooooo. nooooo. must resist.



    must resist.



By Taetia on Thursday, December 23, 1999 - 12:00 am:

    It isn't normal. See a doctor. Or get a bigger
    cat. And put that pipe-wrench down.

    "Too big" varies.
    Oral sex: too big = bigger than an icecream cone.
    Anal sex: too big = bigger than a pencil.
    Vaginal sex: too big = bigger than one of those
    flavourless horse zucchini they sell at the
    supermarket. (My best friend and I like to freak
    out the nice people at the greengrocer by
    discussing the sexual appeal of veggies.)
    Porno sex: too big = it covers the sky and blots
    out the sun, requiring too many cameras to film.


By Wanderingwillythewhacker on Thursday, December 23, 1999 - 12:07 am:

    Steeljam, I think you've gone head up against an old saying.
    "You can't beat it with a stick"


By Gee on Thursday, December 23, 1999 - 04:10 am:

    <<Anal sex: too big = bigger than a pencil.>>

    You're kidding, right?


By Patrick on Thursday, December 23, 1999 - 04:40 am:

    thats the funniest to god damn thing i have read here in a long time


    "It gets so hard a cat can't scratch it"

    oh my fuckin gawd!


By Dr.J on Thursday, December 23, 1999 - 05:37 pm:

    Steeljam,this needs to be checked out immediately!!Please stop by my office for your free consultation.


By Patrick on Thursday, December 23, 1999 - 06:38 pm:

    right..."CHECKED" out....RIGHT!


By Dr.J on Friday, December 24, 1999 - 11:41 am:

    Hey,this is serious,I might have to remove it.


By Czarina on Friday, December 24, 1999 - 12:34 pm:

    This needs to be looked into--- in the name of science, of course.How hard did you say? Yes, I think some tests are in order.You'll have to sign a release, possibly a few pics[ for posterity], yes, yes, need to get right on it.


By J on Friday, December 24, 1999 - 12:37 pm:

    Like Blue Bonnet.


By Taetia on Saturday, December 25, 1999 - 02:37 pm:

    Gee - this is just a personal preference. You can
    have whatever you like up your bum. :o)


By Gee on Monday, December 27, 1999 - 04:02 am:

    Hey thanks.


By Jim aka Pajama on Wednesday, December 29, 1999 - 09:11 am:

    <<Anal sex: too big = bigger than a pencil.>>

    if that were the case, there would be no *point* to being gay.

    *does a zorro formation snap*


By J on Wednesday, December 29, 1999 - 10:16 am:

    Jimbo,I love you!!!


By Jim aka Pajama on Wednesday, December 29, 1999 - 11:36 am:

    :-)

    Thanks J.

    :-)


By . on Wednesday, December 29, 1999 - 11:53 pm:

    The condition is known as priapism.
    Go to a doctor... then consult with J.


By Bob on Sunday, March 12, 2000 - 04:18 pm:

    i sucked a dick last nite that was real hard so hard that my dick got hard


By agatha on Sunday, March 12, 2000 - 07:07 pm:

    duh.


By J on Monday, March 13, 2000 - 09:47 am:

    What did you do with your dick when it got hard?Put it in anything?Do you really think you need one?Send a picture of it to Nate.


By Still Steeljam on Wednesday, November 29, 2000 - 10:02 pm:

    Are there really people who NEED Viagra? My dick is showing no signs of slowing down. It has taken over my life. I am to the point that I would almost let someone else use it for a while. It has an insatiable desire to do the nasty 24/7. Do they make AntiViagra?
    Just Curious


By semillama on Thursday, November 30, 2000 - 08:39 am:

    Try acupuncture.


By Trace on Thursday, November 30, 2000 - 08:42 am:

    ouch


By J on Thursday, November 30, 2000 - 10:46 am:

    Steeljam forget Nate,send a picture to janny@sorabji.com ,I might have a good idea with what you can do with that...really.


By Fb on Thursday, November 30, 2000 - 03:53 pm:

    AntiViagra?
    No, but I have a 8 pound mallet that will cure your problem.


By patrick on Thursday, November 30, 2000 - 04:41 pm:

    im sure we could find a hairy, burly trucker named Lulu to help you with that.


By Isolde on Thursday, November 30, 2000 - 06:45 pm:

    Maybe even a big, fat, hairy hat fairy.


By Hal on Friday, December 1, 2000 - 09:40 am:

    A naked picture of your grandmother maybe...

    Or maybe her mom...

    If not, get a naked picture of Linda Tripp from the internet somewhere, I mean, it did something for Clinton but he's one of those rare cases from Arkansas.


By Steeljam on Friday, December 1, 2000 - 08:55 pm:

    I really appreciate everyone's advice.

    I will consider all of it.

    J kinda scares me though. Should I be scared?


By Hal on Friday, December 1, 2000 - 10:41 pm:

    Lots.


By J on Saturday, December 2, 2000 - 01:13 am:

    Hal???? No I'm safe and warm and I have butt,sort of.It's all good.


By Hal on Saturday, December 2, 2000 - 09:39 am:

    I know J... And thats why we all love you.


By Pootenanny on Thursday, June 21, 2001 - 10:36 pm:

    Do we still love J?


By dave. on Thursday, June 21, 2001 - 10:43 pm:

    we do.


By Spunky on Thursday, June 21, 2001 - 10:53 pm:

    I do


By Czarina on Friday, June 22, 2001 - 08:58 am:

    Was there ever a question?J is one of my most loveable cohorts.


By Cat on Friday, June 22, 2001 - 09:41 am:

    J is all about love. And she's bad in the way all my favourite people are.


By patrick on Friday, June 22, 2001 - 11:25 am:

    i tried to hustle naked pics from J once.


By semillama on Friday, June 22, 2001 - 12:07 pm:

    J gots yer back. That's all ya need to know.


By J on Friday, June 22, 2001 - 01:34 pm:

    I'm touched:)


By Johnny B. on Saturday, March 15, 2003 - 04:05 pm:

    I somehow wondered into freakland! you people are strange.....


By Antigone on Saturday, March 15, 2003 - 06:07 pm:

    You didn't wander. There is no Brownian surfing.


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