I got caught having sex in my local Wal-mart super center. My fiance and I both got kicked out, it was awful......

KICK ASS.

It was kinda kick ass. People in the neighboring towns heard about it and for awhile, it would sprout up in conversation. I had sex in a wholesome family enviroment.

Fuck it dude... You had sex in a walmart. That takes BALLS, and no concience either.

Who ever said Wal Mart was a wholesome environment????

people have been caught having sex in my library. and this one guy guy kept getting caught for masturbating at the computers.

so what did they do to you when they caught you, gee?

The only place I've had a sexual encounter I can be proud of was the desk of my highschool principal.

explain. gee, do you like working in the library?

I also had sex in the stockroom of a store with my fiance. It was great. He then later told his boss which totally sucked.

Yeah I imagine that could cause some problems... The nice thing is no one ever found out about my infidelity in the admisitrators office, because by the time any one besides me and her knew, I was already out of highschool so it was irrelivant for them to try anything... or at least I hoped.

im pretty conservative when it comes to sex and strange places. not by choice per se.....but Im kinda scared to go do it in elevators and such. I also think people lie a lot.

you're 19. you're too young to get married.

Ok, so I had a poor choice in words. So sue me.

i once was making out in a little car in a parking lot between corbett (a small town northeast of gresham) and crown point. we both had our shirts off and it was fairly heavy. suddenly the car began shaking. "train," he said, "just a train." then BANG! he'd kicked the emergency brake and we'd hit a gate at one end. that was the ending point of that relationship.

Why?

That ended a relationship? wow.

who wants to date a jackass?

Sorry Nate, I'm not available, but thanks for asking anyways.

Well, thats kind a weak ending for a relationship, I mean if you guys had been hit by a train or something then I could see the meaning but come on. His foot slipped, give him a break.

give him a brake. (falling around laughing inanely)

Or was it something more complicated, like his inability to distinguish a train passing from his own car rolling... Or maybe he lied! He knew it was rolling! Or it was a jab at her phobia of trains/parking brakes/out-of-control cars/parking lots! Something.

I don't understand. The car was shaking, and he kicked the emergency brake? Kicking the emergency brake puts the brake on, not off, no? Was it a standard? Do you mean he kicked the clutch and it moved?

maybe she's lying? maybe it's one of those truth-cum-fictions that are more fun to believe than discredit?

he was probably ready to bust a nut and she's worrying about on-coming trains. i'll say anything "is just the wind" at those critical moments.

I love working in the library. I'm on my break at work right now. I work with really cool people. Eric has been going his Captain Picard impression all night, and Maria and Jay are reading Maxim together. Julia is laughing at you all.

Julia can take in in the ass.

Half of what we say is meaningless, But we say it just to reach you, Julia.

oh?

Gee, I'm working in a library now, too. I think I'm going to go to library school. Hala is a librarian of sorts, also.

I'm going to name my future daughter Julia. If my bro can name his daughter Melissa after an Allman Brothers song, I can certainly do the same after a Beatles song. And my other will be named Maggie after a Rod Stewart song. ?Donde esta todo el mundo hoy? It's a freekin ghosttown here.

I think the car was parked, he kicked the parking brake in the heat of the moment, they continued unknowingly till they hit, which was the precice moment he blew his load. The train thing was compleatly inconsequential. It was one of those weird ass things people say during sex, I think he might have been refering to his manhood at the time as the metaphorical train... That all could be true, but he probably blew his load mentioned the train and in the process of jizzing he nailed the parking break.

here's the rest of the story. so we were making out, and my best guess is that the emergency brake wasn't fully in place. (re: in some cars if the brake is already on, you kick it to take it off.) the car started to roll and i thought it was an earthquake. "a train." he said. then bang and the car was dented slightly in front. i quickly buttoned my shirt up and put on my shoes. he drove me back to my car and then i went home. i didn't call him, he didn't call me (though he said "i'll call you tomorrow."). finally four days later, he shows up in my department about 15 minutes before closing. "you wanna do something tonight?" i told him no, i have responsibilities and i'm tired, thankyouverymuch. he left. i called him the next day and told him that he couldn't not call when he said he would and then show up about 20 minutes before he wants to do something (particularly when it's 10:30 at night) and i have no clue. that was the last time i talked to him. from what i've heard from harmony (the girlfriend of my ex's best friend, a friend and coworker in shoes), he's since dropped out of school and become manic-depressive alcoholic. i really pity him, but that doesn't mean that i'm going to date him. dating out of pity is torture.

See what you did to him? For shame...

you say that like it's a bad thing to be a manic-depressive alcoholic.

I'm one,I'm o.k.

I think there is more here about this fellow than we are being told.

Gee,I'm wondering about the masturbater in your computer dept,and the resulting cleanliness of the keyboards.Any complaints of the keys sticking? And Hal,what a refreshing thought,that the young ejaculater,was romantic enough,at that very moment,to be thinking metaphorically. I think I've learned an important lesson from all of this:its not in ones best interest to orgasm on electronic equipment,that is publicly used. And don't get sexually out of control,in a potentially mobile environment,because you might end up being pegged as a chronically discourtious,droppout,manic depressive alchohalic. Sex just doesn't seem the same anymore.[sigh]

the reason that i was fixed up with him in the first place was because he was lonely. he was not quite 18, and the first girl he'd ever kissed. the guy's had a bad life: his stepdad (now divorced from his mom) was a major asshole who treated him and his mom like shit. this guy plays everyone he knows for drugs, money, power. his idea of a joke was to promise jon (my ex) a car that was later repoed by the previous owner. brian had to physically take jon to his house (brian's) to keep jon from murdering his stepdad. the boy has problems, and i'm not sure if i want to help. i've had friends that ran away from home, cut themselves for relief, but it was hard to get them through that. my parents didn't understand what was going on and i'd be so emotionally exhausted that i ruined any chances of a scholarship. on the other hand, emotional detachment is not picnic either.

Walmart just doesn't seem the same anymore.[sigh]

Life doesn't seem the same as it use to...

it's not... thank gawd

God just doesn't seem to be the same any more. [sigh]

I'm not a manic-depressive alcoholic....just a depressive alcoholic. I also hate my former stepfather----but he can't touch me or my family anymore----so fuck him. He can kill himself now because he's dead in our minds.... I think dating out of pity is okay....especially if the one being pitied is me. I'M THE KING OF THE MERCY-FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!! Just joking.....I could never be that lucky.....

God just doesn't seem to be the same any more. [sigh]

Thats alright pug... Me neither.

that's it. i've had enough. i'm going to go to school tomorrow (today?) and get meself a life.

Pez,if you find a good deal on a life will you get me one? I'll pay you back.

You can have mine,J.

Czarina, they caught the guy every time he tried to do it...I hope every time, anyway. oh well. Copy Center Girl cleans the computers anyway. Agatha, when did you start at the library? I love working here, but sometimes the work can be so mindnumbing. I loath shelving. but I adore Ishmael and Jay and making fun of stupid patrons. making fun of the people who don't know any better is always one of the best parts of a job.

ps...Julia is not here right now, but I'm sure if she were she'd be shaking her fist at you, Nate. there are some things you just shouldn't say to Julia. she's such a little button.

no life yet. although i will have a short duet with the oboe in carnival of venice. there's a cute boy in my math class. maybe i'll ask him out. or not. maybe.

This old friend of my sister's (they used to freebase together back when my sis was into the drug-thang) was a department store rent-a-cop and he used to bring home videos from the security cams of this guy who used to whip it out & jerk off in the lingerie dept....I guess he had sex trouble w/his girlfriend because of a difference in religious backgrounds......he had his system down, man....and it was funny to watch....