whippin' for a livin'

Pez,you little tart!

what? so youy enjoyed it?

I just keep picturing you in your "sensible" shoes,while the rest of you sports the dominatrix garb. {I'm sorry,my imagination has run rampant,I just keep visualizing varieties of "sensible" shoes on you,kinda like a paper doll set.The cat-o-nine-tails[is that what its called?the whip thing],black leather face mask,other implements of perverse sexual delights,and a sensible pair of Dr.Scholls)

with toenails painted red, of course. *ker-WHIP!* you didn't see those toes. *ker-WHIP!* or the rest of my feet. *ker-WHIP!* instead, you must focus... *ker-WHIP!* on my lushiously long crimson fingernails... *ker-WHIP!* daintily clutching the source of your pain.

silly silly silly

so? i'm going to print it up and hand it out at the zine symposium.

i got a long leather whip for x-mas. sweeeeeeeeet

As much as I scorn Patrick's scorn, he's onto something.

I scorn Spider's scorn for Patrick's scorn.

theres nothing scornful about it. all i can say, and of course this is really a matter of opinion, but the best sex, or sex related activities, are the straight up. all the toys, deviations, worships, fetishes etc etc etc you know what i works the best? good ole fashioned sex.....straight up no chaser. so i tend to feel really sorry for the poor schmucks who pay money to visit dom's. sometimes i wish they'd (doms) get a real job.

A little bit of deviation makes the trip extra interesting. Not that I would know, being a born-again virgin and all. Gee said it best once when she posted something like: I've had sex, I've had dirty sex, I like dirty sex the best.

I miss Gee. Gee, come back to me!

I WANT TO SHIT ON YOUR CHEST, PATTY.

ick

okay, okay. swearing at traffic keeps me sane #2 (the unreadable version) was put out this afternoon. i'm selling it for $0.25 at reading frenzy. email me if you want a copy. warning: i won't be mailing copies for several weeks, until i put the readable version out.

you shouldnt sell your zine pez. give it it away if you want to people to read it. some of the greatest zines in the world are free. cat i wasnt talking about dirty sex. the only sex i have is the dirty kind. where foul sacreligious words spill from the bedroom, where father o' reilly and his band of merry exorcists are waiting outside afterwords water and crucifixes in hand. wasnt that one of the last statements gee left us with...i always viewed her as a girl of innocence then she dropped that...kinda caught me by surprise.

You will never understand Gee, Patrick. You come from a different world. She said I was her Helen of Troy. *sob*

for $.25 pez deters the people looking for bird cage liner from abusing her work what is free ends up as litter unless it's religious fanaticism and even then the right people need to come along

when i worked at the record store...all the zines that had some sorta of cover on them were never bought....with rare exception of well established national zines like Roller Derby. When people are perusing the mag section and come across the free weeklies and other local papers, which usually are situated by the door, which people usually see on their way out, they are more likely pick up something that is free than see something that has a price on it, walk back up to the counter and pay for it. i've done a 6 issues of a zine, even had fact sheet 5 review it, worked in a record store, an neighborhood video store that prides its self on letting people distribute fliers, zines and local rags in its store, a small record label and currently work for a publisher. trust me, a cover price of any amount will hurt people from picking it up. i read about as many free publications as i do paid. don't mean to sound kinda snooty...but i kinda know something about these things. not many people have birds. whats free may very well end up as litter, but in order to be litter, it has to leave the store, and its more likely to leave the store if its free than with a cover. the first step is to get into someones hands and out the door, the next step is to get them to read it.

it's a quarter, patrick. is that really a deterrent?

probably.

it doesnt matter if its $2 or a quarter. the point is, they have to reach into their pocket, walk back up to the counter (hope there isnt a line) and pay for it. i know it sounds trivial agatha, but when was the last time you bought a zine you had never seen before when you were at the record store or book store? When was the last time you picked up a free rag or zine?

good point.

I still want to make men do my housework and I'd be more than happy to whip them for it,I have a huge leather whip I bought in Mexico once,haven't used it on anyone...yet.

oh and spider....i wouldnt say i can never understand gee. i just didn't know her, only what she chose to tell us here. what she told, painted a picture. i know these pictures can be totally wrong and those are some of most interesting of surprises.

listen. the $0.25 is to cover expenses. the store gets 40%, so they get a dime out of the deal. $0.10 goes for the paper. $0.05 is for the work i did. i made 50 copies. ten are to sell at reading frenzy. one is to keep. i gave four away, one to the zine library, and i'm taking 34 with me to the zine symposuium to hand out. i'm not making any "real" money from this. it's just to cover expenses and anyway, i've never seen any zine priced under $0.50. until now.

im really surprised reading frenzy is even bothering. I realize you need to cover expenses. and of course i know you arent making any money. i completely understand that. but often, doing a zine is more about expression in which case id encourage you to make a website. its a lot cheaper. but lets be honest, you didn't even realize what a zine was until recently...you cited sorabji as your motivation to do one. ive seen lots and lots of zines over the years. the fact is...few make it beyond 3-4 issues because the kids get tired of shelling out money for little or no return. less than 1% go on to be fulltime publications that sell advertising and get national circulation. You want to see a good well done zine that can be sold for money that was publsihed for several years, and the girl went on to be a successful nerve.com and hbo writer and actress? go to your local record store or bookstore and look for Rollerderby. Its out of print now, but they published a book with combined issues in it because there was such a demand. When there is so much free shit on the web, why would anyone pay anything to hear someone rant? Im not trying to piss on your parade, just keep your eyes on reality. Pez...trust me, when i say, if you want people to read your zine make it free. im trying to help you reach as many as possible you should also pick a zine called Factsheet 5. It reviews zines all over the place and offers information on how to order zines from all over. see about getting a listing

in fact pez. im friends with Lisa Carver...who published Rollerderby...if you wanted to, i could put you in touch with her, if you wanted more advice on putting out a zine. email me if you are interested.

check this out http://www.slick.org/Rollerderby/index.shtml lisa may still have some on hand she can send you, if you send her a letter, or email.

Monozine is my favorite zine. It's like $3.95 or something, and there's only been 7 issues ever, and I only have 2 of them, but I love it. I like Bitch, too. I had a zine in high school. Head of Ulna. Two issues. We put it in the bathrooms during school dances. We remained anonymous. The best thing we ever did was to take a 1977 University of Pennsylvania yearbook and cut out some of the pictures. We had a hierarchy of swanks, from King Swank (head shot *and* a great candid picture of him with his arms around two girls and two beers in his hand) to the Knave. There was also a picture of Moloch in there, just for the hell of it - a black man with a huge, unruly Afro and very arched and scary eyebrows. Then at the bottom we had written "For more info, call 1-800-Miami-Vice." It was too insular, if that's the word I want. It was one big private joke. Zines should reach out. Bryn Mawr has a zine library, thanks to Melissa Kramer. Yay, Melissa!

Duh - "there HAVE been only 7 issues." Anyway, back to Gee. Of course you don't know her as a person, Patrick. Neither do I. But the mystery of Gee is like the mystery of Spider. We come from the same planet.

can i get a lift to this planet? im pretty sure i could stir some trouble.

patrick, you are assuming that she wants to gain something from this, or make it long term. maybe she's just doing it for fun. maybe she only wants to make a few issues. maybe she doesn't care whether that many people read it. you are looking at the whole thing from the perspective of a publisher. which is fine, but i'm just pointing out that there are other reasons for making zines, and they don't have to be fancy or get a lot of press to be satisfying endeavors.

I WANT A MYSTERY!! please? my guess is that the journey to that planet is an inner one, ain't noone can take you there. and third- i second what agatha says.

Heather, you've got one, babe. One thought: You can't go to this planet, you can only leave from it. Another thought: What we have caught and killed, we have left behind. What has escaped us, we take with us.

PS. If you give the real answer to the riddle, I will marry you. Whoever you are.

sure agatha...i agree wholeheartedly, but i suspect pez wouldnt go to the trouble to give copies out, get them in the store etc if she didnt want to people read them. in the first one she implored the reader to give her feedback. there is only one perspective in my mind. pez is a publisher. making quantities of something for people to see and read. sure she wants to gain something, she wouldnt be doing it otherwise.

One answer to the riddle: Desire. I like riddles. Do they still publish Factsheet Five? I've been in a couple small local zines, back in my bad weirdo poetry days. I should go dig those out.

i think sem should marry spider.

factsheet five is r.i.p. i looked into it before i really did anything. all there is is a website. sure, i could just do a website, but then it loses the personal touch.

im with nate....lets get it over already. fuck new orleans head to vegas....Vegas i can drive to in 3 hours. you two can get hitched by Elvis or Frank Sinatra. they discount fares to Vegas something serious, the casinos do that is. and rooms are bloody cheap as well.

ha haha ha ha ha

Sem is wrong.

Only specifically wrong. It's a possible answer. And I don't want to marry Spider, I just want to have epic battles for world supremacy with her, a la Professor X vs. Magneto.

OOH! I get to be Magneto!

Also, no, your answer is completely wrong.

"OOH! I get to be Magneto!" match made in heaven. i hear the bells already.

I don't want to marry Sem. I want to marry Jesus. I just made one of those horrible snorting laughs. I'm sorry, Lord. I do love you.

holy moly! for your penance i suggest you marry sem.

How can I be completly wrong, when there can be multiple answers to a riddle worded like such? I can't marry Spider until she takes acid. Actually, that may have to be a general qualification for every potential mate.

Did you put that on your dating service form, sem?

she will, then. don't worry, sem.

Spider on acid, now that would be fun

No, there is one answer. It is an ancient riddle, famous among classicists. Anyway, what is it about me and Sem?! Stop, already.

why why why ??? I will never take acid. I will never do coke. I will never shoot heroin. Now leave me alone.

heh heh heh. There is ALWAYS more than one answer.

I want to marry a nice clean boy who's never taken acid or shot anything up their veins they bought on a Munich street from a filthy dirty-bearded scum of a person called Wolfgang. Drinking is OK though. Actually drinking might be essential. Smoking is probably not, even though I shouldn't be so fussy.

Lice but I cheated.

spider and tbone sittin' in a tree

dropping dropping L S D

can i be the bridesmaid?

YESYES

write me i am the wedding planner