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THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).

By bell_jar on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 10:42 am:

    Dear Abby:

    a while ago. a few months ago. right after i moved to new york. i decided to make my life complicated, so i started having sex with this guy.

    we would have sex for almost two hours, but the guy never... you know... had ONE. two hours. i felt like such dumbass.

    am i sexually inadequate?

    i haven't been with that many people, so I don't know if i was doing something wrong.

    he moved to mongolia, so we stopped having sex. but i really want to prevent this from every happening again. what should i do?

    thanks for your help,

    bell_jar




By semillama on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 10:55 am:

    ????


By Antigone on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 11:12 am:

    Have sex with a man who has testicles.


By Dougie on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 11:20 am:

    Did the guy hum old Police tunes and have an English accent?


By patrick on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 11:26 am:

    does the guy take paxil, prozac, zoloft or anything of the sort?

    his orgasm isnt your problem, just like your orgasm isnt his problem.


By Nate on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 11:39 am:

    that's bunk, patty.

    i can have an orgasm by myself.

    well, it's at least half bunk. if it's just some guy you're fucking maybe it is masturbation.

    but masturbatory intercourse aside, the pleasure of the other is important.

    that said, i don't need to cum to enjoy sex. i don't always cum.

    assuming "ONE" is an orgasm. it could be an erection. or a corneal hematoma.



By patrick on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 11:42 am:

    if he's not coming, its not her fault. If he needs her to do this or that, then he should tell her. vice versa.

    if she wants to prevent this from happening again, i think it best to realize that its not her responsibility to make him come. Nor his hers. I don't think you can ever blame the lack of orgasm on the other partner.


By Hal on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 12:05 pm:

    Well lets see there is the slim posibility that it could be your fault that he didn't blow some chunky load all over the place. But I doubt it. Chances are he's on something like prozak or zoloft. That or he's just seriously fucked in the head.


    Who knows, he probably wanted you to ream his ass with something too.


By patrick on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 12:07 pm:

    how could it be her fault? Even the remote possibility, as you say....how on earth could it be her fault?


By Dougie on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 12:16 pm:

    She could look and act like Rosie O'Donnell. Then it'd be her fault.


By TBone on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 12:16 pm:

    Chunky? Fuck.

    If he can go for 2 hours without wilting, you're probably doing something right.


By wisper on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 12:18 pm:

    bell jar, it happens. It just happens.
    the end


By patrick on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 12:23 pm:

    "She could look and act like Rosie O'Donnell. Then it'd be her fault"


    No. If your fault for getting into bed with someone who looks like Rosie O'Donnell. You can't blame anyone's looks or features on why you can't come.


By Hal on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 12:39 pm:

    No, the only reason I could see it possibly being her fault, and like I said I seriously doubt that this is the case... Bell_Jar, take no offense to this, this is not a shot at you mearly an explination to the question asked of me.... The only way it could possibly be her fault (which I doubt,) is lack of friction, she could be loose.









    I am so going to hell.


By semillama on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 12:41 pm:

    It's all point of view.

    Say a certain action is needed for kablooie on one partner's part. Then say other partner refuses to do such. Whose fault is it in that situation? Given that both parties enter into the situation with a mutual agreement that kablooie will be had by all, and prior knowledge of what it takes to produce kablooie.

    Patrick's POV would be that it's the first partner's fault for going to bed with someone who is not receptive to that person's needs, yet is it if prior to engaging in acts of passion,the other partner misrepresented themselves as willing to perform the kablooie producing action? Would it not then be the other partner's fault because of said misrepresentation, such that first partner would likely have sought a different partner if s/he knew the intial other partner would not assist in producing kablooie?

    Hmm?

    You're responsible for your own kablooie when you masturbate, but consensual sex implies to me that each person is going to get the other person off. What's the point otherwise?


By Rosie ODonnell on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 02:32 pm:

    My children are responsible for certain actions needed for my kablooies. They're trained well.


By Paula Poundstone on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 02:34 pm:

    Don't give away all our secrets, goddammit!


By heather on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 02:46 pm:

    ick

    whatever

    too late

    you should have asked him

    chances are it won't happen again, but if it does then i guess it probably has something to do with you. at least you'll have another opportunity to ask what the problem is, and if you can't, maybe you shouldn't be having sex.


By semillama on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 02:47 pm:

    Anyway: He really moved to Mongolia? That's interesting.


By bell_jar on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 04:18 pm:

    this only makes me sound worse, but we had sex a few times. not just once. and he never had an orgasm. i asked him and he said it usually takes him a long time. he's only had sex a few times, and the one before me was two or three years ago.

    i don't look like rosie... i don't think. i saw her on the upper east side a few months ago. i get so star struck when i see famous people. i just stare. i'm lame.

    and yeah, mongolia. that's very exciting. i may go to china in the spring and take a train to mongolia for a visit.


By patrick on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 05:16 pm:

    get some seal penis or tiger nuts to help him along.


By semillama on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 05:37 pm:

    Hmm, sounds like his problem, really.


By pez on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 05:37 pm:

    ewwwwwwww!


By patrick on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 05:44 pm:

    yeah. i'd agree on the "ewwwwwwwww" and that its his problem.

    i dunno.



By pez on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 05:54 pm:

    no, the eW was about your bdamn seal penis and tiger nuts.


    i prefer the nuts from trees or those that are slightly insane. i'm pretty sure i've never heard of a tiger tree.


    and as for human beings, i've had my fill of being "used and abused" for awhile.

    yuck.


By patrick on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 06:07 pm:

    i know what you were eewww-ing at.

    those items are well known aphrodisiacs in that part of the world.




    arent you being a bit dramatic about this used and abused crap?


By pez on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 06:25 pm:

    i felt like caterwauling and complaining. don't worry, i was joking about the used and abused stuff because i've been complaining a lot today.


    and rambling, really. i should wash the dishes.


By Cat on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 06:26 pm:

    Pez is allowed to be dramatic.

    You're being mighty judgmental today, Patrick. Not all your usual charming self. You got a fly up your bum or something?


By patrick on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 06:28 pm:

    possibly.


By Cat on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 06:28 pm:

    But I did think Hal was putting the moves on Pez too. And I thought Pez was kinda liking it.

    Maybe they should hook up, it could be pretty sweet.


By patrick on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 06:33 pm:

    i checked. My bums good. But i did find something in my ear.


By pez on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 06:33 pm:

    i like hal. he's a nice guy. he relates well.




    i can't say that i haven't thought about it.


By Cat on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 06:39 pm:

    Woo hoo. I'm giggling now.

    I'm so pathetic when it comes to setting people up. Did I mention that I've got three marriages under my matchmaking belt?

    But one of "my" couples just had a baby boy and didn't name him after me. I've threatened to split them up now.

    What the demoness hath wrought, the demoness can unwrought too.


By Cat on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 06:40 pm:

    Want me to check your bum for you, Patrick?




By patrick on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 06:42 pm:

    um


    im really uptight about these kinds of things.


By Cat on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 06:45 pm:

    That's not what Nate says about you.


By patrick on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 07:13 pm:

    i dont know nuthing about that


By Hal on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 07:51 pm:

    I'm at a loss for words.


By pez on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 07:59 pm:

    they're just being adults.


By Hal on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 08:03 pm:

    I know....


    They need to grow down.


By pez on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 08:08 pm:

    yah.

    beware! you've grown up! you need to get out and blow bubbles more!

    maybe that's my next prank. sending bubbles in the mail. no, that's lame.

    i want to play a oprank. right now.


By Gee on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 08:30 pm:

    phone a stranger and ask them if they have Prince Albert in a can.


By NATe on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 08:52 pm:

    OK I HAVE NOTHING TO ADD EXCEPT THAT IT IS DISCONCERTING TO SEE PEOPLE WITH THREE LETTER NAMES POST ONE AFTER ANOTHER AFTER ANOTHER SO THAT WHEN I DO MY SEARCH FOR THE NEW MESSAGES IT ONLY SHOWS THREE LETTER NAMES WHICH I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH ASIDE FROM WHEN THEY ARE POSTED IN GROUPS. THANK YOU> GOODNIGHT.


By Gee on Thursday, August 9, 2001 - 09:51 pm:

    I thought I told you to stop being such a dork.


By Nate on Friday, August 10, 2001 - 01:27 am:

    hey, i'm not the trekie halfling.


By Czarina on Friday, August 10, 2001 - 02:17 am:

    Mongolia seems like a pretty drastic move.Do you think he really moved there,or was he just trying to divert attention from his lack of achieving kablooie?

    As he is out of the picture,it now becomes his problem,whether or not he reaches orgasm.There are a variety of reasons why orgasm cannot be achieved.Could be mental,physical,or maybe he was using street drugs,some of which will prevent orgasm.

    But I think you're missing the important thing here,yourself.As long as you enjoyed yourself,over this enviable 2 hour fuckfest,I don't see a problem.

    I hate to be the bearer of bad news,hon,but its probably best for you to not expect this kind of performance from your next lover :(


By pezz on Friday, August 10, 2001 - 04:07 am:

    sorry nate. maybe i should add an extra "z" to my name.


By semillama on Friday, August 10, 2001 - 09:41 am:

    That's what Tazz did.


By Hal on Friday, August 10, 2001 - 10:42 am:

    No that confuses me.

    Nate's been using these boards for how long now and he finally speaks his peace?

    Let him deal with it.


By patrick on Friday, August 10, 2001 - 11:32 am:

    how old is this boy bell jar? how experienced is he?

    Inexperience and insecurity can do strange things to das jimjog. The more he sweats it, knows he's not making shit happen the more the problem compounds.

    you must have had saddles sores after two hours no?


By Hal on Friday, August 10, 2001 - 12:01 pm:

    Maybe he's a she.


By Hal on Friday, August 10, 2001 - 12:02 pm:

    Or...


    Was a she.


By Gee on Friday, August 10, 2001 - 03:42 pm:

    I've been punked.

    I'll go sit in the corner now.


By Hal on Friday, August 10, 2001 - 04:34 pm:

    You've been punked?

    Gee as much as I respect you that doesn't mean you've had sex with a punk recently have you?


By Nate on Friday, August 10, 2001 - 04:40 pm:

    i'm sorry gee. i was having a bad day.


By bell_jar on Friday, August 10, 2001 - 04:55 pm:

    the boy is my age. and i was the fourth person he has had sex with. the other three were all one timers.

    i get to go home in a few minutes. although... i may go the MOMA... i really don't know.


By Tom on Saturday, August 11, 2001 - 12:55 am:

    Was there a severe height difference?

    I've noticed that with partners who are significantly shorter than me, I tend to either "kablooie" very quickly or not at all.

    huh.


By Czarina on Saturday, August 11, 2001 - 09:50 am:

    Well,Tom,why do you think that is?


By Nate on Saturday, August 11, 2001 - 12:44 pm:

    he's a pedophile. but not a bisexual pedophile. duh.


By Gee on Saturday, August 11, 2001 - 03:22 pm:

    I wasn't actually offended. if I were, I'd just ignore you. I'm high on denial.


    punked is like dissed. my friend Maria, whenever someone gets put in their place, she always yells out "PUNKED!" which I think is so cute I stole it.


By patrick on Monday, August 13, 2001 - 01:17 pm:

    i watched this nutty Atom Egoyan flic. He's Canadian I think. The film took place in Canada. It was a strange drab film, in a strange drab color. You know like those weird movies you see on PBS...usually british. The color is weird, and even though they may have been filmed in the last year, they look like they were made in the 80s or 70s. Actually i see this was made in 87. Hmmm, it still looked flat. I suppose im used to the whirl, whoop, blam BOOM of american cinema.


    oh


    you made me think of it just now for no other reason than you are in Canada. You arent drab, or in weird flat color.


By J on Monday, August 13, 2001 - 01:41 pm:

    Gee drab? HAHAHA!


By Gee on Monday, August 13, 2001 - 08:17 pm:

    I'm wearing a bright pink tee-shirt today. it matches my bright pink hair in a weirdly wonderful way.

    atom is nice. he's wonderfully weird.


By patrick on Tuesday, August 14, 2001 - 11:21 am:

    I should maybe see more of his films, this one certainly wasnt groundbreaking.


By Gee on Tuesday, August 14, 2001 - 06:12 pm:

    which one was it please?


By patrick on Tuesday, August 14, 2001 - 07:03 pm:

    Family Viewing


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