this was in my inbox when i got to work. cool morning fan air on closed legs and skin left damp from night air and you

This was in mine: Cocksucking bastard I'll kill you when I get home Toilet seat was up

Hot Humid Air Sweat Drenched Parts Fan was left on Fuck

like i said- all the whipped cream is slipping silently off of grandma's ample thighs

Want to hear a joke it is dirty and stupid Pigs fell in the mud

In your shallow grave Pale worms flood your urethra Twisting like heartbreak

K-Y* brand Lubricating jelly - water soluble/bacteriostatic Gleitgel - wasseröslich/bakteriostatisch Gelée lubrificante -soluble dans l'eau/bacteriostatique Gel Lubrificante - idrosolubile/batteriostatico Gelatina lubricante - soluble en agua/bacteriostático Smörjgel - vattenlöslig/bakteriostatisk Bevochtigingsgel - in water oplosbaar/bacteriostatich Geleia lubrificante - solúvel na água/bacteriostático Liukaste - vesiliukoinen/bakteriostaattinen Smøremiddel - vandopløselig/bakteriostatisk

nice, pilate. i wrote some menstrual haikus on my blog recently, in keeping with the spirit of everyone trying to piss everyone else off.

Hey there agatha, Speaking of pissing people off, I have a new house. Fuck, this is hard. Do you want me to send the new address for mailart? (If you've already sent it (hee hee) that's ok too, since I have a forward on the old address, but it takes forever...)

one cherry coke, a computer screen, and thou, i don't need too much more. but that's not dirty.

stupid the sims game wont let me play cause its fucked i do many downloads

waiting for replies i wish messages were to me. too fucking late.

My email wanders Where will the next one show up? I don't understand Girlfriend showering Singing a song I don't know Soapy lullaby

too much idle time, spent on computer. wish there were more reason here. tbone i will think about moving if you send pictures. email, please.

too hot cucumbers. no pepper with the cider vinegar next time. i eat anyway. it keeps my hands and mouth to earth. and occupied. one a.m. today is tomorrow, technically. but mind still alert. too early to sleep, too late to be loud (fam'ly home, exhausted rest). have weezer stuck in head. "island in the sun" way too catchy for taste. heat wave also too much. shirt sticks to back, damp with sweat. in oregon!!!!!!! been on 'net for more than an hour. finish bowl of cucumbers, then nap.

sex with my girlfriend unknowingly she does me better than my wife

What's the fucking point? Heat rash on my inner thighs screaming for Gold Bond

odd surreal lovers agonize over breakfast do you remember my name? okay, so it's not a haiku. Sue me. Sue--THAT was her name!

I'm getting sweaty stomachs sticking together sex with no A.C.

Ninja Squirrel Attack, Strike with no plan, Swarms of tiny bugs.

Hal that is neither a haiku nor a dirty poem, nice try though

Dirty ass fuck sideways. You can kiss my ass. Dog Fuck.

Strike Two for haiku Use your Fingers to count Whoops, Jigsaw mishap

Don't the know the haiku count to begin with...

three lines of words; five, seven and five syllables. see? it's very easy.

Five seven five you count Make sure to count syllables Each line stands alone

Events in motion Unstoppably repeating Time-travel backward Sorrowful facade Just reeling in the victims Lather, rinse, repeat

crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap shit shit, crap crap crap.

Look at the poodle On the high way it is flat Flatter than your God.

That was the best one yet, nate.

i liked oswald's and tbone's.

11 august 2001 on floor, feet! to the bathroom please. the equipment removal, vital. i hate my glasses. they press behind my ears, to leave tender headache. in bed. eyesight a bummer. headache predicted. shame, toxic ending. and a somewhat dirty one: lucky vaginas. carrying deposits from tom and harry's dicks.

licking gummi bears placing them on your body tasting your sweetness

Glad for day job mine For as writers of dirty lines We all suck re-al-ly fine

What's grosser than gross? Grandmother's toothless blowjob? Or is that your style?

I'm tired of haiku - let's do limericks, the form of peotry best suited for filthiness: The vicar of Santa Domingo Said to the curate, "By jingo! Blast women and boys, I need some new joys!" And he promptly fucked a flamingo.

But I got one more haiku I made some up they are the first poems I have wrote. But this one is not dirty.Its just about a school pic of my boy friend it is not really a centerfold but he's cute enuf to be one! I got a new mag and there are hot pix of modells but Dorian is cuter than them all. My lovers photo Everlasting centerfold Blue eyes in sunshine

that was good, oswald. There once was a girl from Sorabji Always up for a fuck or blowjob, she After a tumble, The poor men would mumble "My dick is now a sore knob, ***!"

We are sad, sad people.

Sorry I can't write this in the right form,I have been trying.Hickory dickory dock.. two lawyers climbed up a clock...The clock struck one...but the other sonovabich got away.

Hickory dickory dock two layers climbed up a clock the clock struck one before he could run away like the other jock

The original version before the changes in Disney's Beauty and the Beast: Be....our....GUEST! Be our GUEST! Drop your pants We'll do the rest! any help with the next line....?

We'll fuck you with zest?

it would have to be Be our guest be our guest Drop your pants Roll in ants We'll do the rest

Jack and Jill went up the hill...they planned to do some kissing...Jack made a pass...and grabbed Jills ass...now his two front teeth are missing.

oh jezzuz we r sick human beings cuz we write here on sorab-ji-enes po lines we confess and lie bout the rest bring on the assfuckers and colonoscopenes. oh shit this is so plainly stupid you nitwit I can't afford not to share the idiocy a bit

sorry bout that. last effort: Deadliest of The Species: she spins of spent love, takes his hand, gives him no truth, opens wider devouring

I want you to come, I need you inside of me, Bend me over please.

Hate being alone, Keep me company tonight, I will give you head.

Want breakfast in bed? Then I propose a toast to Your hot buttered fuck.

scent of wet forest moist leaves fall by rays of sun behind mulberries is that as cheesy as im thinking it is?

more. your lips remind me of big fat caterpillars waiting to be squashed.

PETA would be disapointed in you pez.

sorry, can't be nice all the time. i'm tired.

you sound pretty bitter and angst-riddled these days. s-ok. you;re entitled to be that way.

it's because i'm not a teenager anymore, unemployment is high and i hate the politics involved with my job and my union. if i were to quit and couldn't find another job before i ran out of money, i'd be forced to move back home where i'd probably end up working for safeway and be a member of the same union. ah, dilemmas. joy to the world, i want my peas.

hey pez, you're really bright. why don't you go spend 6 years living off the government at the university of your choice? i don't know anyone who regrets the use or misuse of their student loans.

but why? 90% of classes that a required for a degree are taught by professors who don't believe in the subject they're teaching or their students. i just made up that statistic but it sure feels true. i have to wait until i'm 22 in order to qualify as not being under my parents' wing financially. their income is too high for me to get a scholarship on financial reasons alone. if i'm going to incur a debt, i won't go. but really, what would university do for me that i couldn't do for myself? at this point i don't feel like i'm mentally secure enough to go to university and most professors are ill-equipped to deal with a student like myself. i am learning alot about people and am just beginning to like myself as a human being. i have so many things i am doing right now that are good for me and my resume, what would college do that is any better?

Quit your job, sell yourself on the street corner, become a junke.

A degree. Like it or not, a degree says something to an employer. It means (supposedly) that you take yourself and your education seriously enough to go through all the BS to get a BS, if youcatch my drift. I would not be where I am now without my degrees. There's just no argument. When we hire, if you don't have a degree, forget it. And for a higher level position like mine, doubly forget it if you don't have a master's. Besides, college is fun. Learning is fun. You can, if you look enough, find kick ass teachers who like what they teach. Don't let high school burnt out teachers color your perceptions of college profs. Sure, there are a lot of dickheads out there, but you have social sciences or humanites written all over you, pez, and the profs in those depts, well, you're doing something wrong if you can't find a few to really like and learn from. Personally, for me it was a prof I had for an advanced topics class, a shakespeare prof, all of my anthro profs, but especially Professor Brown, and whenI got to grad school, I was basically surrounded by brilliant people who cared about giving me a quality education. Of course, that grad program is pretty much unique in that...so take my enthusiasm for higher learning as you will.

i have been so wrong about so many things in my life. one of the bigger things being the belief that a college degree isn't worth the paper it's written on. well, i was half right. the degree holder is often a complete idiot and that's what fueled my belief. where i was wrong is just like sem says, it shows an employer you have the mettle to put yourself through a system and attain a certain level of achievement. an honorable discharge sort of does the same thing. so does membership in a frat or sorority. it doesn't matter that the whole thing boils down to an exclusive club that favors members as a way to validate it's own existence. i mean, what does it say about their own efforts if they just hire some "uneducated" fella when they had to go through all the hoops. that they're a bunch of suckers? no, the establishment has to protect it's specialness. it sucks but that's how it works. besides, learning can be fun.

dave: "...the whole thing boils down to an exclusive club that favors members as a way to validate it's own existence..." Every club boils down to this. Otherwise, there ain't no club to boil. pez: "what would university do for me that i couldn't do for myself?" It gives you the opportunity to pull your head out of your ass. Most people come out of adolescence with their heads firmly planted in their asses. For men, this means they stroke their prostate every time they blink, so they usually stay mesmerized in this state until well into early adulthood. Women don't have a prostate, thank god. Now, you can pry your head from your ass by yourself, but a university provides you with easily available extraction tools (rigorous mental exercize and time to mature) and helpful individuals to hand you the KY jelly. (professors) Besides, extraction can be difficult, and if you make a mistake you could tear delicate tissues. Then it hurts every time you take a shit, and you become irritable all the time like dave.

you acknowledge that my head is out of my ass. i take that as a compliment.

everywhere i go people with heads up asses bear down, bear down - PUSH!

I am hungover many hot boys but no score I like alcohol

got drunk last night, slept at the party. red wine, white wine, sake-- it's all the same to me. i took my bike along and then left it there because it was either get a ride or bike across town before going to work. i chose the ride. i need to take a shower, change my clothes and drink some tea. then go to work.

Nipples Atwitter Gratification online Antigone's hard.

"red wine, white wine, sake-- it's all the same to me." head ass college will sharpen your alcoholic consumer skills as well.

My head your ass will they clash? Or would it be a total gas?

Sticky penis in her vagina next time do not use honey LS

I fucked that up. Last line should have read... "not use sweet honey" That's what I get for trying to pay attention to this Scheme stuff and create poetry at the same time. define a haiku in this stupid Dr Scheme what a waste of time LS

i ate a hiaku. even after i finished, i was still hungry.

That was good. each line was stand alone. the above isn't haiku, it's just my compliment. That wasn't haiku Rather an explanation You retarded jackasses

Pez, How about going to a community college at night? I wouldn't trade the education I got from my local Community College for half the BS educated idiots I've run into. First though figure out what you want to do for a living for the rest of your life. Then get an AA degree. That should get you an entry level job. Then go for the BS/BA at night. I'm thinking of going back for my BS degree. If I could just get past the idiots that teach at four year colleges. If I could only have the teachers I had for my Two year degree for my BS. I'd jump into it in a minute. Even the worst of my community college teachers were better than the ones I had at for year schools.

Haven't done the 4 year schools. Had one teacher from CMSU and UMKC teach one of my classes. I was in a horrible car accident and needed to withdraw. She wouldn't let me. There I was trying to drive 45 miles and make my way around campus on crutches. She eventually flunked me. Patrick might get a kick out of it. It was my American History teacher. My other teachers were great at the community college I went to. Even the Nuns were great. Liked the community college.

i dont kick people with crutches you evil doer you!

well, i'm not an alcoholic. yet. i'd never drunk wine or sake before. i still haven't finished a beer to date. came close last night. the head-ass connection isn't something i think about alot. all i want to do right now is live. and it's all blah. i don't think college will c hange it too much. and at least i have a year under my belt. i don't feel like going right now. i'm disenchanted and trying to be myself in a world of people suffocating under the thumb of people richer than they. what is happening? i need to go hang out or something. bah.

Patrick, I never said you kicked people with crutches. Evil doer Hahahaha. I meant I thought you would find it funny that I had issues with my American History teacher.

oUt on a limb I go here again soon to regret I have left my isolated cell I forget the buzzing of flies the passing of grain waving in the sunshine some hazy carriage holding forth above a grave notwithstanding doctoral fellowship ten years in post secondary education and more years than that... teaching in universities and colleges and community colleges and boardrooms and treatment centers and government offices and psych hospitals and ... my humble opinion is like to Sem's but what I want to know, really, is what this has to do with Sex:dirty haiku Though I learned more from Shakespeare and Whitman about human fraility, than from any counseling course, more about art from Jung, more from discussing high prairie cantelevered structures over a glass of beer, or The White Devil over good scotch whiskey, more about life oh life where is thy sting? it was theology that made the least sense regardless my level of intoxication, and Humbert Humbert the harbinger of true wisdom.

life is meaningless, so just write dirty haiku. big hairy pussy.

dan is a wild pony

the problem with smints poor packaging prevents me from tasting their zing

my boyfriend is stressed he thinks only of work now say farewell to sex

satan's severed head never too busy i bet ready and willing

satan's severed head is always glad to give some satan's severed head

sky blue water icy cold death sunny warm days

dan is a pony a very nice wild pony so are all of you

I am a wild pony. Rather, a mad stallion. Please fuck me silly. And while not a haiku, this has been stuck in my mind since my Humanities class at the JC. IN A STATION OF THE METRO The apparition of these faces in the crowd; Petals on a wet black bough. For some reason, I like it. Maybe it was how the instructor enunciated it. Or maybe it was because we analyized it for a whole class. LS

'tis dirty haiku that means dirty fuck ass sex not this gay ass shit

fuckity fuck fuck big wet sloppy fuck suck fuck suck from behind fuck

sarah, take your turn- we wait long time for yo ass, scrabble us, lady!

fucking her wet twat until she cums her brains out with my long hard pole Dirty enough? LS

scent of unwashed beard brings back memories of good times with the ladies

there happens to be pony sex public tv wild no pony me

i took my turn in scrabble never enough tiles to make "bighairypenis"

That's not a haiku. 5-7-5, not 7-5-7. Rework it, and turn it back in for full credit. LS

this is more like it

Oh dear Pamela You are more my hero(ine) now Than when this thread died. Horrific haiku Amuse each of us some time but email long lasts

Daniel, I love thee You broke my heart when you left You were my first kiss.

Tis Not a Haiku, Those three syllables of name ... passable slurred quick. Oh, um, when I left Did I know I was leaving? Or left, told you bye? Hell, he says, forlorn, and he suspected none cared whether here or not... Remaining writing "sex-dirty haiku" or if thoughtless forgotten...

side note (Daniel is the name of my "first love", and for some reason FB really reminds me of him... and why is it that after 7 years I am still thinking about him?) now on to the poems: lots of attention husband leaving me lonely whats a girl to do well that is not very dirty...

hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmm hmm hm ack hmm hmm hmm hmmmmmmmmm

In and out and in and out and in and out and in and out and splurt! LS

silly goofy boys-- take a number, get in line. you have twenty-three. number one comes to my house. rub wolf, watch movie. sorry, no kisses. my date for the night: my hands. rub a little, play a little, feel and sleep.