I want to have some toy t play with, you know, and I don't know what to use, I don't want to buy anything, I just want something simple, and easy to get.

talk to patrick. fuckhole.

If your too cheap to buy a vibrator,I don't know what to tell you.

try a screw driver.

Look in your momma's drawers. She probably has something.

cucumber...dumbass

why me dave?

A baseball bat,a frozen fish,a Fosters beer can,a tire iron,the t.v remote.

So that's why it smells fishy

And let us know what you used so we don't touch it

A broomstick,a mop,a pinesol bottle,a microphone,a cordless phone,a tube of toothpaste,a flashlight.Shit the possibilities are endless,use your imagination,be creative,I hope this helps,I'm going to look around the house and see what I have here that I can put up my cooch,brb.

a water heater

Heres an odd thought your HAND

LYSOL LYSOL ANYBODY GOT ANY LYSOL

She forgot to tell you, she's deaf and dumb. (can't speak for the ignorant) she needs her hands free to moan with.

Electricity can be fun. If one of your neighbors has an electric fence,you'll be all fixed up. Your twat 'll be a twiddlin.

Sit on your washer during spin cycle,laundry is fun!!

or try sanding with that Mouse sander by Black & Decker, and ride the sander

Yeah, that's it honey. Ride the mouse!!! Climb on a sander!!!! Make sure you put it sandpaper side down :p Here you go, try an empty beer bottle and see if it gets stuck.

I think that guy Steve-O did that on Jackass. Or maybe it was Johnny Knoxville.

Woowooman,I'd like to point out that Febuary is anal sex month and that all the above mentioned items that I have pointed out to you,will also with a little work go right up your ass.

texas please go away now. (but you can leave our friends here) The part I like the best is where they explain that you can sell sex toys as "novelty" items, but as soon as you actually talk about what they are actually used for...it's obscene. happy anal sex month!

"Texas law allows for the sale of sexual toys as long as they are billed as novelties,.... But when a person markets sex toys in a direct manner that shows their actual role in sex, then that person is subject to obscenity charges, she told the newspaper." what?!?!

Any wonder that Bush is from there?

he said bush

Texas still thinks of itself as a seperate country. At least in some respects. I used to work for a property and casualty insurance company. Almost all states allowed them to use the same rate schedules and calculation formulas. Not Texas. They needed everything done totally different.

"I have opinions of my own-strong opinions-but i dont allways agree with them."(President George W. Bush)

"Humans are political animals."(Aristotle)

As a human myself,I've always felt more like a monkey.

There are times when I see people, like on the tonight show's Jay walking segments, when I wonder if we've really evolved that far from apes.