i really want to have my first orgasm and im really sure how...ne ideas...ne good home made sex toys??

Yea,pull out that salad bin and grab that cucumber.

PLAY. dat's all i've got to say. x-cept the girl monkey is going to be a deadbeat dad in a few months.

or microwave a melon, if you dangle. though i guess a boy not knowing how to orgasm is a little ridiculous. nevermind. i was thinking about guy fawkes today. guy fawkes was part of a plan to blow up the british parliment way back in the day. now the british celebrate 'bonfire night', where the children of the village go make effigies fo guy fawkes and burn him on the bonfire. just like the brits did when they caught the real deal. burn, baby, burn. we should do something similar on sept. 11. all the american children can corral the arab-american children into one corner of the playground and repeatedly sodimize them with tanbark. just like we used to celebrate pearl harbor day by hanging the jap kids from the tetherball polls. and easter by crucifying the jew kids. calm down, calm down. we used rope instead of nails. christ.

Nate, you're such a turn on. If that didn't do it, nothing will.

i learned a new way from Tropic of Cancer the other day. Core an apple, put some cold creme in there and warm it on the heater. toys are for the unimaginative and uncoordinated.

Or the overimaginative and idle. But really, when you need to start heating things up and adding cosmetic products, it's more of a hassle than it's worth. We were given hands for a reason, and it wasn't to make tools.

well this was dictated in the 30s in paris. at the time it was genius.

christ. who'd want to eat an apple coated in cold creme. fucking french.

ew. cold creme is made from lanolin and is disgusting and gross. it's sheep wool fat, folks. i must leave the computer folks. i am sweaty and the microshow begins in 45 minutes.

in hawaii they have the unofficial official Beat Up On Haole Day. the white kids (boys actually) get the shit beat out of them by the local boys - mostly in high schools and junior high schools. no ropes needed, just fists. mmm. fists.

i'd go columbine on their asses.

hawaii is like a crackwhore in a nice dress. columbine is a flower, you fruity fuck, dave..

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