Lately I've been the rebound girl, a position I sometimes enjoy and sometimes regret. But. If I fall for the man who's rebounding, is this a good thing? I may be temporary but I'm comfortable where I am and I don't want to get hurt. It saddens me that he may very well think of me as just as his rebound girl. Should I feel ashamed of myself for falling so soon? Should I grieve for my wandering heart? Is it my place to long for kisses from one whose heart is so recently broken? All I know: He is in Seattle. I have a key. I am feeding and playing with the cats (being "kitty momma" in addition to rebound girl). We are so close, so fast. I don't want to fall but can hardly help it. I have bee guarding myself so closely for months since my heart cracked into a thousand pieces over a long distance phone call. I don't know what to do. I know what feels good to my abdomen and that's what I've been following because I don't want to shatter anymore. I feel so lamed, unable to do anything else but what Fortune has set upon my plate. I am drunk, but habitually correcting my spellings. Say what you will. Hal will be saddend by my typings again. I feel so alone, I'm not sure if anyone I talk to face to face understands because I don't tell them eerything anyway. He is five and a half years older. He works full time, sans dress code. He has two cats named Mimi and Zero. The first time he sang karaoke he sang "American Pie". He likes reading internet comics. If this list is to prove my reasons for falling for him, it is lame. I'm not sure how to describe how I feel. Is it love? Since Bryan I've cried little, I've played music even less. He'll never move to Portland but I almost feel guilty even now, even thinking about anyone else. He is an asshole. A sweet, cynical asshole. The moment I feel I am getting over him I almost want to die.

Won't chastize you because of your spelling, crap I can't spell when I'm sober let alone drunk. Your right though, I am saddened, mostly because I know how it feels. However its also because I wish there was something I could do to change it. I can't. I'm going to include my email with this Pez, email me kid, I'll give you my phone # or get yours from you. I want to talk to you again.

Rebound girl or not, there is no "safe" place to be when it comes to falling in love. You could meet that guy whose been single for a while and looking...and it doesn't feel any better if you fall in love with him and he doesn't reciprocate. I used to think I was a weak person for falling in love with people I shouldn't have because of so-called pre-set boundaries. That's not what it's about. I don't think you should be ashamed. That said, stay guarded but not completely closed. Have some fun, but remember that there are other people out there too. It seems like you are still hurting too...maybe past rebound stage, but not quite healed enough to jump into something huge. And it might work...who can say?

pretty much what she said lappy keep one eye open and one foot on the ground for perspective. people rarely break up once, cleanly. often its a series of getting back togethers and doing it all over again.

I found personally a big problem I had was overthinking things and not just enjoying what I had at that moment. In the end I ended up hurting people, instead of them hurting me. It was not a good feeling, that's for sure. I can't guarantee that any relationship will go wonderfully, rebound or not. All I know is that you should enjoy what you have, not think too much, and be happy with yourself. We all love ya. We all want to see you happy. So meditate a little, relax a little, and either enjoy it or move on. Let yourself be happy. That's not always an easy thing to do, but try it. It just might be what you need right now.

Every breakup I've ever had, it's been boom. No more. Except one, that was all his doing or at least he tried and I was unresponsive. I'm learning some, if I've been drinking and come home and get on the internet, I have this tendency to be more worried and sad than normal. Normally these aren't feelings I like to show. Feeeeeelings, wo wo woooo.

well, some people are like that, but i can count on both hands how many friends i have who do the break up, fuck, get back together, break up, fuck, get back together, before its finally a done deal.

i like that you get drunk and come home and post to sorabji. i think some people get lucky, but most of us learn what we want by getting hit in the face with a baseball bat. there is conventional wisdom, but it is all generalizations. every situation is different. trust yourself once you've made sure you're not lying.

I try not to lie, but lying to yourself is the hardest to stop. I make promises to myself and then break them. This situation spun out of one broken promise. This is how my train of thought went: "I don't want this to happen, I don't want this to happen, it can't happen, but oh, I want it to." The day I met him we went on a longish bike ride and then parted ways a couple of blocks from his place. Then he was lonely and we were instand messaging anyway (we met over internet personals, him through nerve and me through either bust or portland mercury, I can't remember) so I went to his apartment and we watched a movie, sitting next to each other but about a foot of space between. I kept my hand on my thigh the whole time, I wanted to reach over and I felt energy but I was so scared. Over such a simple thing. When it was over I went home. I told him about four times I was going home, but I think that was mostly telling myself because I didn't want to leave.

yeah

It's not going to last, I can feel myself trying to pull away sometimes. We had coffee yesterday morning and he talked about this idea for a kids show he has. Only problem is that he only has a concept, no plotline or anything. When we were done, I unlocked my bike and he did a minor repair on it, I've been seriously difficult to bikes lately so I can't wait to get my cruiser back and put Whitey away again. I gave him back the extra key; I don't feel it's my place to keep it really. We hugged and he kissed my cheek and the corner of my mouth. (I like the word mouth. Mouths can kiss, eat and scream.) Then we parted ways. Together we talk and touch, but there's some sort of nervousness that I can't go beyond or maybe words are my second language or something. We can get along spendidly on the computer, iming for hours. I don't understand.

Your more relaistic a person then I darlin.

Fuck I have to check my spelling before posting.

I live in a world where a happy relationship never lasts longer than a month. That's realism. You should call me on Tuesday. If you have a card.

Hello Ladies, Am here and this is my first experience here. I need most especially a lady to mail and fill me in. I can't wait to hear from any. Am always on chat(espanol_real@yahoo.com) See ya!