Like... Management Psychologists. - Are these the losers who couldn't make it in private practice? Do corp. executives really need to hire someone to explain why managers are creatively bankrupt/not team players/& only interested in making themselves look good? Feng Shui Consultants. - "The ancient Chinese art of placement." As if putting a mirror opposite my window/or a fountain in my living room/is really gonna change my life. Rich folks will buy into anything/so long as you wrap it up in ancient- cosmic-artsy-peudo-spiritual ribbons & tell them it's some form of hidden knowledge that will 'enhance' their lives. As if being rich wasn't enough of an enhancement. And, ahem, New Zealand actually has it's very own Feng Shui Institute. You'd think folks who do something useful like raising sheep for a living would have more common sense! Shopping Specialists - If you can afford to shop in Barney's & Neiman Marcus/you just oughta be able to find the time to decide what the hell you wanna wear. I spent 4 days trying to find a dress for my friend's wedding -- not becuz I'm too stupid to have any modicum of taste/but becuz I'm POOR & had to find a bargain! All it takes is a credit card/ knowing what size you are/& Internet access/& anyone can outfit themselves w/a snappy wardrobe in less than 2 hours online. People who are too dumb or busy to buy clothes shd be required to go to work in their bathrobe & slippers every morning. Call it the new "status dressing"! Designated Hitters - If a professional baseball player can't be counted on to hit the damn ball when it's his turn at bat/he shd be back in Nebraska milking cows or Cuba picking bananas/or whatever. I don't even like baseball/but even I know the D.H. rule is bullshit. Why does one guy get hired just to to hit the ball for his incompetent teammates? S'ridicuous! The Pope - God's representative on earth? Didn't Jesus already finish that assignment? [Feel free to chime in anytime, guys...]

Technical Support Engineers. I mean, really, what the fuck do these guys do all day?

well, i like to spend hours in the bathroom goose-stepping to Wagner and strutting around in high-heels and fishnet stockings with Satan's Severed Head sylishly perched on my crown like a bloody fedora... but of course that's just me. and as we all know, tech support is the devil's work.

I tried to talk my ex-roommate into believing in feng shui, especially the part about keeping the bathroom door closed. "look how all this bad power is floating around the apartment -- why don't you put the cat box instead?" joke job: subcontractor for the u.s. agency for international development. they give millions of dollars to ukraine every year, and most of it ends up in the hands of american companies that sponsor conferences. big fucking deal.

"why don't you put the cat box IN YOUR ROOM instead?" that's what I meant to say. not that it matters. she didn't. I didn't live there very long. bad feng shui.

*l* I didnt know we had a New Zealand feng shui institute RC... I see its based in Auckland (aka Dorkland) which is a yuppie town... Us South Islanders are much more at home with our sheep (?)

I once dated a girl who was obsessed with Feng Shui and would completely rearrange her apartment every few days, trying to get its cosmic yinyang just right......I shudder whenever I see or hear the term now. "Reike" is another term I cringe from, also courtesy of the same aforementioned female.

Yuppies? In Aukland? Good God -- Call the Exterminator! I honestly thought Yuppies were stricly an American vermin. Whoops! A tiny moth just crawled inside my keyboard. Watch my fucking browser crash any minute...

Yep RC Yuppies in Dorkland. The further up the islands you go the more stressed people become *G*

I forgot to mention that not everyone in New Zealand raises sheep. And damn your president. Just cause Americans consume more New Zealand lamb then US lamb hes gonna put tarriffs on it. Free trade my butt.

i had a dream last night about 2 things: someone broke into this apartment and i killed her/him, then i flashed back to my useless bullshit job at Tower Records on 66th street in 1990, and in the dream i was filing cassettes in the old classical basement and taking it up the ass from knowledgeless customers who had heard of Bellini on the radio (but couldn't quite remember the composer's name) and paid for CDs by check and for all that i made $5 an hour fresh out of college.

Yes, but that was a REAL job. Doing real work. Vs. bullshit jobs where people get paid more than they deserve for doing meaningless work. But the taking it up the ass part sounds meaningful.

i loved my record store job......for 8 hours a day i had the best record/cd collection, being the import/indie buyer i made sure we were stocked with all of my favorites, besides i like the arrogant air traditionally carried by most indy record store clerks. Looking down on the NC State football team when they came to score the new Alice in Chains was kinda fun...............hell we were stoned half the shift anyway, so despite our mangers pleas to mrotate the CD channger with current titles, we always seemed to find room for the Budgie CD and turn it up way way loud and drive everyone outta the store, they eventually went outta business, but I also had sticky fingers too...

you mean the album ?

as much as i love the stones......nooooooo, i mean i lifted a lot of records and cd's and money, i got more than $5/hour at that place, heheheheheh..