The other day I was at this place called Wright's Barnyard (Hollywood Park). It has miniature golf and a rather large arcade. Anyway, so I'm playing Tekken and kicking all these guy's asses, and there's this guy that comes up to me and says that he wants to play Tekken. Here's the monologue: "Hey, let me know when you get done with this game, alright?" The guy's tall, medium build, short hair except for the back. There, it comes halfway down his back. He smells strongly of cheap alcohol. "Alright. You want to play me?" This is me. "No, I'm afraid you'd kick my ass." Stinky. "alright. You okay buddy? You smell like you've been drinking." I knew something bad was going to happen. "Hey, I'm 24. I'm allowed. There's a real big party tonight, wanna go? There's gonna be some mad trippin'!" Alright. Scary. "No, I gotta be home in a half hour. I'm 15, dude." Icky. "Oh, that sucks, alright then." Then he sees me hugging my friend/flirt buddy Matt. "Oh, alright. I see you already have plans." Oh jeez. (Me to him) "Alright, I'll see you later. Just make sure you have one of your friends drive you home tonight. Don't want to kill any innocent bystanders, right?" Ha, I rule. But the jackass doesn't get my joke. He laughs. "Alright. See ya!" People like this should be in house arrest. Or like weeds, erased from existence. The fact that he knew I was 15 and still hit on me _really_ pissed me off.

It's a fact of life. But remember -- you don't have to say shit to any stranger that walks up & tries to engage you in conversatiopn. Don't worry abt being rude -- just walk away. And don't react if he calls you a nasty name afterward. (BTW/I used to get high & go play mini golf a lot w/a friend of mine. It was practically a religious ritual w/us. I think a lot of folks like to get a buzz on & go mini golfing.) Be careful of entertaining strangers. Some have entertained demons unawares.

Miniature golfing is cool when there are things like moving dragons and waterfalls that look like windex. pedophiles always seem to be attracted to me. I think its becuase I'm a victim or something.

Don't think like a vic & you won't be one.

I didn't realize i thought like a victim. i hate being hit on.

From 15 -30/you get hit on constantly. Once you hit 30-32/something weird happens -- either you give off a different vibe/or guys who only go for sweet-young-things have ruled you out/so you get hit on less/but by a better class of men. And if you go away to college (i.e. out-of-state) /it's one big sex market. Everybody hits on everybody. Constantly. But it's' also the best proving ground you'll ever have to test yr values/polish yr sexual technique/& figure out what's important to you in a man. Just don't be a dummy -- avoid dangerous men &/or dangerous situations. Anybody who carries a gun it OUT (unelss he's a cop). Don't do anything that feels wrong in yr gut. And Always Use Condoms.

And even if he IS a cop, be wary. Cops are people, too. And some of them are bad people, just like any other professional cross section.

don't drink the punch.

look both ways before crossing the road

<<Don't think like a vic & you won't be one.>> That's crap. Perhaps I'll reply later when I'm not so apt to be a mean old hag.

in agreement with gee. certain physical types and age groups might as well have victim stamped across their foreheads. perhaps i will elaborate later.

I hadn't really thought abt the 'victim's posture' thing until recently/when I read the Vanity Fair piece on Matthew Shepard a couple of months ago. (P.S. I sent them a snail-mail letter re: doing a story on the life & death of James Byrd Jr./but never heard anything back. And I doubt they'll print it.) But the article mentioned the time his family spent living abraod/somewhere in the Middle East/I think. And how Shepard was accosted on the street & raped by a gang of young men. His own mother made the comment that Matthew has "that victim's posture". That if you saw him out on the street & you were looking to hurt or rob someone/he'd be the 1st person you'd pick. And I think now that there may be some truth to that. If you appear weak & vunerable & easily fucked w/folks are going to be more likely to fuck w/you. That's all I meant to say re: Don't think like a vic. If that's tantamount to 'blaming the victim'/then I I guess I'm guilty of that too.

FYI, Matthew Shepard was gay baited, he was "picked up" in bar under false pretenses and led out into the middle of nowhere, tied to a fence and beaten to death by abunch of fuckin rednecked, small minded , homophobic assholes who are now gonna spend the rest of their lives in jail gettin reamed and being someone's bitch. It's hard to see how he was weak and vulnerable when he was in a gay bar, although he was only like 5'6", he was in a firnedly environment

When I was a kid and ran away from home,doing alot of stupid things like hitch-hikeing I got more than my share of perves,Lester the molester stands out the most though.A lawyer for the State of Arizona,he was around 50 and had a daughter a year younger than me.What a sick fuck,but I hustled him for all I could get,which was plenty.Then when I finally ruined the transmission in the car he got me he said I would have to have sex with him or he wouldn,t fix it.Then I had to hitch-hike again.But years later he got me and my temper out of alot of trouble,so I don,t hate him.

I've always found This Page to be very interesting. Mostly because it seems to be doing the same thing you're doing, RC, which is nearing the borerline of blaming the victim. And Anything that takes the heat off of the attacker is (in my opnion) just wrong. To me this whole "Well what were you doing there at that time of night in that outfit with that sexuality and that skin color?" attitude most people have nowadays is just another sign of the almost compleat lack of compassion people have for anyone they don't know and love personally. Compassion is kind of big with me. Meaning I truely admire it. Or I would, if I saw more of it.

Whoa -- hold up! His MOM said he had "that victim's posture" -- not me. I don't care if he was crawling down the street naked/nothing excuses being kidnapped & gang raped. Can't you seperate what happened to Shepard from my opinion abt who becomes a more likely target? There is a reason smaller, weaker (whether from old age or extreme youth) people get attacked more often. Predator's look for an easy kill. Not becuz I say so/becuz they're hard-wired to do so. If Shepard had been a 6'2" 200 lb. gay man/I don't think those 2 punks wd've approached him in that bar that nite. They wd've had to think twice abt getting their own asses kicked. But that doesn't make them any less sick. A predator is a predator/plain & simple. And predators take out the easiest target 1st. I'm not responsible for that phenomenom.

I don't think R.C. IS blaming the victim. What she seems to be talking about is that weird intangible vibe that people who have been hurt before give off. Either that, or evil abusive people have victim radar that can spot these people inside a crowded room. I think we all know people who, no matter how hard they try to find good, nice partners, always end up with people who chew on their hearts. They're the young and the wounded that the lions always pick as their next meal. Why? Who knows? But there's something about them -- subtle, so that they could be swathed in clothes and not moving a muscle -- that communicates to the abusers that they're easy prey.

Damn! I took too long to write that. Yeah, what she said!

RC - I get that it was his mom who made that comment about him seeming like a victim, but the impression that I got was that you thought this was valid. You did say you thought there was some truth in the idea, didn't you? You seem like a tough chick, so I'm sure it's really easy for you to say "don't act like a victim", but for other people who don't even Realize that's what they're doing, it just feels like blame. Maybe I'm not being clear...I have an automatic reaction of anger and saddness whenever I see anyone say anything about why the victim was chosen, because I don't see why it should be a factor at all. Wouldn't it be more productive to try and figure out why the Attacker did what he did, instead of trying to tell the victim what they could have done to prevent the attack? As for the "what were you doing, etc.?" comment, that wasn't directed at you, but at society in general.

Gotcha. I said: <I think now that there may be some truth to that. If you appear weak & vunerable & easily fucked w/folks are going to be more likely to fuck w/you.> Again/I think the reason Shepard was chosen was becuz he was prolly the smallest, most non- threatening guy in the bar. I don't recall if it as a gay bar or not. Wait -- their scam was telling Shepard that they were gay & inviting him to go someplace. That's how they got him out to their truck. So it prolly was a gay bar. They picked him becuz they knew they cd overpower him. But he was chosen at random/not someone they stalked beforehand. Why they chose to rob him/pistol whip him/beat him bloody & leave him tied up to die in the middle of nowhere was becuz they were evil. Period. One of the killers claimed Shepard hit on him/ but I never believed that shit. This was not a sexually-agressive gay man. I'm sure homophobia was part of the killers' mind-set. But again/I don't think they wd've gone after a gay linebacker. It was a thrill kill/I think. What motivates people to behave that way? I think it's sheer evil/plain & simple. In the old-fashioned/biblical sense of the word. To me/that's what Satan or ther Devil or the Dark Side or whatever you wanna call it truly is. Not Marilyn Manson or people joining covens or something occult. It's just a spirit (i.e. an energy force) that is out there in the world. It craves human destruction/but it has no form or physical body. It can't act on it's own. So it seeks out humans it can pollute & control into comitting horrible acts. Like Columbine h.s.. Like killing Matthew Shepard. Or James Byrd Jr. American is a very young country. Consequently American's don't generally believe in the concept of evil. We believe in FBI profiles & abnormal psychology & screwy brain chemistry. Compared to Europe/which went thru a period like the Middle Ages when people believed in evil spirits & demons & such becuz of the dominant influence of the Catholic church/ America has grown up w/seperation of church & state/so those kinds of views didn't proliferate here. But I believe that kind of evil exists. And that some people -- perfectly sane people -- allow themselves to be infected & led astray by it.

I don't believe in most people's definitions of "evil", but I'm willing to buy yours. I think there's a "good" force out there too, working to oppose the evil on. It's my asperation to one day be one of the Good Force and go around kicking bad guy butt. And in keeping with the Pedophileness of the original note - I used the word "pedophile" when I was talking to this young girl (15) the other day and she didn't know what it meant. I tried to explain it to her, but I'm pretty sure she still didn't know since when she walked away she was singing "I am soooo pedophile!" at the top of her lungs.

i have to agree with what RC was saying about not thinking like a victim. i myself used to be picked on all the time by just about everyone, I mean even the geeks picked on me! Slowly I realized that it was because I acted vulnerable. what ppl said always affected me dramatically and i never defended myself. i soon realized the problem. and i soon as i stood with my shoulders straight up and walked with confidence(as fake as it was) ppl quit fucking with me so much. the key to survival is to look like you know who you are, what youre doing, and where you wanna be. and hey im not saying i know these things but i fake it well enough that ppl dont fuck with me anymore. but im not saying everything is the victims fault either. someone said some ppl just get picked on and they do. its like they give off a "fuck me over" vibe or sumthin. but if these ppl held themselves with some confidence not as many ppl would mess with them

And if someone wants to fuck with you,you have to stare them down,and be ready to bring it on.I learned this the hard way,my parents put me in a state home for being incorrigible,you can,t do that now,I never committed a crime,my mother just couldn,t handle me.I just had my own opinions,and for that I got put away

i think that is the worst crime and it happens all the time in our "free" country. sure we have more freedom than other countries but at least they know that they cant do some things. we get told we can and then when we do we get put away for it.

my wife is a former dancer, and they have done studies to show that female dancers are amongst the least likely to get attacked on the street simply due to the way they carry their bodies. Also if my wife and I are walking down a particularly dark street and we feel the creepies from weirdos peering at us, we start "fighting" no one ever approaches a fighting couple for spare change or to mug them.

What a cool idea! What do you spontaneously fight about?