in an ongoing attempt to stir things up...... god damn!!!!! I get more and more angry......the proliferation of these big ass, gas guzzling, emissions evading, dangerous vehicles is an outrage.........if you drive one, FUCK YOU! If you are thinking about getting one, stop being so selfish and think of the safety risk you pose to other drivers and the threat to the envirnoment and the taxing of natural resources..... The EPA should restrict the size of these things, your average soccer mom, boy scout leader of a dad, 50s something searching for youth in a popular trend have no business driving these things. They tax our environment at 3-4 times the rate of your average Honda, Toyota etc and HELLO ASSHOLE, I CAN'T SEE AROUND YOU, I DON'T TRUST YOU, YOU ARE A DANGER TO ME........ selfish yuppie fuck, selfish fuck, big truck for inflation of the self esteem you motherfucker, explorer MY ASS, expedition MY ASS!!!!!!! since when did you need one of these to go grocery shopping in an urban environment...last i checked the final frontier is not on this planet and your not Cousteu (spell?) .......YOU BIG FUCKING PUSSY, riding high makes you feel good? makes you feel powerful? i can see where the epidemic has its roots in this society, the modern male is loosing all senses of masculinity so these TRUCKS replace that.........fucking asshole!!! meanwhile your endangering the rest of us doing our part in driving an economical car....YOU FUCK! SUVs need to be limited, it's getting insane, unfortunately the pockets of our congress men and women are lined with auto industry dollars, selfish pigs, FUCK!!!!!!

I bet you feel better now.

You obviously haven't seen the new Ford Excursions yet, else your rant would have been twice as long! They're the most absurd advance yet in yuppie-family-automaton-soccer mom-keeping-up-with the Jonses'-big-vehicle-posturing. Eight feet high, and something like nineteen feet long...fucking tragic. Makes a jeep cherokee look like a geo. Just in case Mr. & Mrs. All-American run into treacherous off-road conditions on their way to the neighborhood Safeway, I suppose. Some people just don't get it.

funny, a friend of mine has an "OJ Simpson Bronco"...made in 92 I think. I give him shit all the time, and I tell him I hate him for driving it, but he is still my friend....but he secured it before the craze really went into effect, nonetheless, i get to vent whenever I ride in it because it sits higher than a ford Expedition....i have'nt seen the "Excursion" yet, but perhaps I will pay ford.com a visit and leave some hate mail.

me too. i'm especially pissed because my french roast is cold.

ain't that a bitch

anyone who drives an SUV and lives in the city or in suburbia... anywhere other than in the country where muddy roads and icy passes might have to be traverssed in the case of an emerency... should be run over multiple times by an SUV. and if they have a CD changer in their SUV? they should be castrated first and put in a room full of beautiful naked women. or if you are like my dad's girlfriend's 20 year old college student son, who lives in Spokane, and you drive an SUV with a TV, VCR, and Play Station, in addition to an 8 CD changer with sensaround sound speakers (but only because you recently wrecked your brand new white Mercedes), then the punishment should be having every single pubic hair pulled out one by one right before being castrated. thank you and good day.

right on right on

That is totally fucking sick. Some people have too much goddamn money. Fight Clubs start cause people like this are allowed to exist. Somebody hit me. Come on, hard as you can. Yeah.

I used to work with this hardcore christian woman who drove an suv because it made her "feel safe." funny, they make me feel like I'm risking my life every time I go out among them in my compact hatchback. I get a kick out of hearing suv drivers complain about tiny parking spaces, though.

Yea ,I love waiting behind them in parkng lots while it takes the morons 10-15 minutes trying to park the satan machines.

in they bay area, they now give the douchebags tickets for parking over the lines.......

I used to own a Chevy Blazer. Wrapped the damn thing around a telephone pole. But I'd buy another one. Especially a Navigator. *does Tim Allen arrroooooooooo sound*

now Jim, how gay is that? You should have something like a Miata.....Cabriolette (spell?)

I use to have a Plymoth Voyager.

Just cause your gay doesn,t mean you can,t be butch,I use to have a Plymouth Voyager.

when i lived in Detroit, i used to drive a big ass blue 2-door Eldorado with grey leather interior, lovingly nicknamed the Pimpmobile. Also known as The Eldo (emphasis on the second syllable). you had to have the strength of a body builder just to get the doors opened and closed again. fuck, i loved cruising around in that beast.

Waffles- I have this gay friend... FLAMING QUEEN, he drives this biggest, butchest Chevy Truck (don't know the name). Rainbow sticker and Xena Rules sticker on the back bumper. My big ass could never fit in a Miata. But, right now I have a 99 Malibu.

I drive a Jeep wagoneer ('85, 160,000 miles) and got itafter my Celebrity was totalled. Those of you who have lived or been near Lake Superior in the winter know why these things were designed. My next car is going to be a small fuel efficent car, but this means I will U-hualing the next time I have to move. Being in a band also made having a vehicle you could cram a drum set and all your amps in pretty necessary. But for the suburban soccer moms who get the cattle bumbers on their urban assualt vehicles, they and their mutant spwan need to get destroyed. These fucks get huge 4x4's and still can't drive in winter conditions.

I frequently have to scrape Geo metros from my tire treads with a pointed stick.

What happened to Lawanda?

I would like to know what SUV's and my name have in common. I'll have to read to see what the thread is about at this time. I logged on tonight for the first time in weeks. I have too much of a life. Work, kids, soccer, football, board meeting, garden club meeting, TOPS meetings. But it's all slowing down now. Now all I have to do is plan a birthday party for two boys, make halloween costumes in one week, possibly hide out at a freind's house in early November (court with X), & endure quarter school reviews. Broke my record of tomato canning with 51 quarts stashed in the pantry. Thanks for asking!

Oh, now I see. Anyway, Simon doesn't have an SUV, it's a beat up old FORD F150. He's going to get the bird dog to go with it this spring. I drive a Dodge Colt wagon. A 4x4 wagon, looks like a cross between a mini-van and a wagon. I HATE SUV's, even if they do live in the country. Everything you guys say about them is true, true. The damn things just get bigger and further off the groud every year. One lady in town has this huge ass SUV, and she lives three blocks from her work, in the city limits.

ah, but you all must admit that those old toyota land cruisers are supremely cool. not the little jeep look-alikes but the big safari wagons. two-tone blue and white with a big ass winch and a snow plow rig. i'd trade in my girlfriend for one of those.

Lawanda,you won,t realize it at this time,things are all so hectic when you have young ones,but these are the best years of your life,these are what your kids will remember YOU for,your all good.

yeah, they are cool.......so is the concord jet i own, that I have parked at the local air strip out in the suburbs......since the runway is kinda short i have jam on the afterburners to get it to rotate before i slam into the track housing at the end of the runway.........i feel sorry for those folks at the end of the runway, the vortex i cause when i take off everyweekend for Club Med causes damage to the roof, they have to replace it every year.....but HEY, it's a cool fucking plane, I have all the luxuries, I am comfortable........those blue collar fucks will get along regardless.....I would lover to hear Lucy's theories on how SUVs are inadvertantly aimed at literally running over the working and lower classes, since most SUVs go for a minumum of 25k new...i actually might agree with her on that.......

SUV's suck. They're big. They're smelly. They're loud. They're dumb. They're rude status symbols. Duh.

ahh come on Lucy you can give us more than that..... SUV Hate Club http://www.howard.net/ban-suvs.html.com

Nope.

im kinda sad

hey Mr. ______ does your wife know you have a girlfriend?

hey sarah! i'm not married. as dumb as girlfriend sounds, it's way better than life partner or mate or significant other or partner or any of those bullshit pseudo-intellectual titles. i'll call her my old lady before i use any of those horrible terms.

what about Lover? I really like Lover.

I think lover is kind of gross, in a soap-opera kind of way. Girl I like. I liked reading that Paul McCartney always thought of his wife as his girl. There's something '50s-British-street-hood about it.

How about Ms.__________

i'm okay with that.

you are right Rhi to a ceratin extent, nico likes it when i call her lover, but at times, lvoer works too.......by the way i got the leaves,,, you are the shit,,,,,,,, ypu really are...Rhi is the sweetest thing to hit this place you muthas better recognize...!!! i got your back forever long live the power of scorpio did you ever see thge simpsons episode with scorpio!! godamn funniest episode SCORPIO!!!!! SCORPIO!!!!!!! ITS SCORIODLFPPPOOOO AHH helll

i am laughing so hard..... i kill me

What's up with the name change? Can we just call you 'trick?

ooooooh... trick's can be fun.

Jim you are immediately disqualified for that statement young man ...and i suppose you can call me whatever and get away with it......god I gotta get off the sauce...please disregard the ridiculous post (i meant to say "girl" at one point, not lover twice.)

Lover beats being called "Ho".

please don't tell me thats a regular word used around your house, in the context you imply....i will be upset

When we first got married he called me ho,I asked him what it meant and he said it was a term of endearment,so sometimes I called him ho too.It wasn,t till Eddie Murphy joined SNL,and did Mr. Rogers neigborhood that I knew whats up with that.I was so surprised.He doesn,t call me that anymore,but Amee remembers that,she thinks it,s funny,then again she says we are the alternative family,whatever that means.

i frequently call nico, "hotpants" and when i was *courting* ( i prefer to say chasing cause thats what it really was) her, we sent lovey faxes in code back and forth...in fact she got fired because of the faxes and also the tardiness...you can guess why she was always late... she was known as the "red hot fax mama"......she is a red head.......she called me patrick

thanks for that drunken outburst, waffles....you made my afternoon.... Well, i call my dad "grumpus," short for "grumpus the bear," because he is so very curmudgeonly. Does this count as a term of endearment? When I was little, I used to think "sweetheart" was the highest compliment anyone could receive. Much better than "honey" or "sweetie" or anything like that. If someone called you sweetheart, damn, you were IT! I think this was because Han Solo called Princess Leia sweetheart, and I had a big crush on Han Solo when I was 5.

sweetheart!

Uh one of the 2 people I hate,use to call me sunshine,I liked it at the time.

You calling me sweetheart, boy? Aw, shucks. ;)

I was in Baltimore visiting relatives last winter and this hot-lookin' chick called me "Sugarbritches". On my birthday. I had thought I didn't miss B-more, but you just don't run into that in CA. "Sugarbritches" I was pleased.

a girl walking on the street once blew me a kiss, i wish girls flirted more, my wife gets cat calls all the god damn time.....guys hit on her left and right on the subway and at work...all the suits downtown think they have a chance. they are all investment bankers unbelievably rich for their age...money doesn't buy my girl.......they see me pull up in my civic and wonder where they went wrong as they speed off to the hills in their beamers you god damn deserve it Rhi, you spent $3.20 on a stamp to send me freakin leaves......how cool is that???/

It was fun rooting around in the big piles of leaves, looking for the pretty ones. I felt like a kid again. That's worth $3.20 and then some.

I flirted with a waiter last night. I just kept staring at him. He kept lookin too. But, he was prolly memorizing my face to report to the authorities.

Jim.. think positive!!!! Supergroove (a new zealand band) did a song called Scorpio Girls... very cool. Ooh, ooh, ooh what am I supposed to do? She seemed a nice one but she is 1, 2 What's going on? I can't understand it, Something went wrong - I'm a starsign magnet I try to hide it but they just keep coming Bad bitchin babes getting my guitar strummin! every single time I'm getting sucked in... those scorpio girls always seem to win! Scorpiorpiorpio scorpio girls Scorpiorpiorpios rocking my world Scorpiorpiorpios every time for the Scorpio girls I'm a hungry enzyme Thrice bitten thrice shy but I'm every time a sucker see a Scorpio... she's seductive coz she's cool like a dipper you get hot like a Russkie and you're actin like a gripper Better chill out like monkey in the tree because she will take your fins & throw you back in the sea Ain't a love song but I just got to sing it, scorpio girl Sting it baby sting it Scorpiorpiorpio scorpio girls Scorpiorpiorpios rocking my world Scorpiorpiorpios every time for the Scorpio girls I'm a hungry enzyme they're bad, they're glad they're bad those gals I had they made me sad so mad acting like a fool crazy bout them but they're cccoooolll spunky like a spunka she's got a lot of spunk think you want some of that scorpio funk! I do too what am I supposed to do she seemed a nice girl but she is one too... *sigh* they were such a good band...

Did you go to the concert on the weekend Moonunit? We were in Akaroa for the weekend, but I would have gone to see Stellar if we were in town.

i kinda wished i had experienced a scorpio girl when i had the chance....

hmmmm...

no i didnt. My best friend works for a rival radio station so we're not allowed to go see stuff where we have to pay...

mmm Free stuff....

This is the ultimate SUV----- [i'm saving my Marlboro miles for this] http.//www.solotrek.com/

Try www.solotrek.com/ I'm gonna run the toll booth when these become available

Czarina,if I remember right,you drive as bad as me,I,ve fucked up every car I ever had.Remember when I first started driving?The time B. and I were going somewhere,and this couple was hitch-hiking,and when I tried to stop to give them a ride I road up on the sidewalk and hit the bus stop sign,then they were afraid to get in the car,and I made them get in anyway?Boy were they scared,ha ha ha.

"J",I will NEVER forget that incident!! But no, driving is one of my better skills.You don't remember when B and I used to volunteer to take my moms housekeeper home? and we would drive crazy? Remember the time B and I took the front seats off of their tracks in my yellow Fiat,then put them back upside down so I could barely see over the steering wheel, and we had the poor houskeeper in the back,and the first red light we came to our seats fell over backwards and B ended up with his head in her lap? I can still hear her muttering and praying in spanish.She didn't like to ride with us to much after that!

I remember riding in your trunk after one of my accidents,I thought you were trying to kill me!! I thought you had a bad accident in Texas once,and you said the only reason you were still alive was cause you were so fucked up.

Ya, thats right,I'd forgotten about that one! Hey,just how many hitchikers do you think we put in my trunk over the years? I'm thinking maybe 50 to 75.But maybe I'm forgetting some.Do you remember what you screamed at those poor hitchikers when you hit that bus stop sign,"you will get in my car now,I hit a sign and everything to get you.If you don't get in theres gonna be BIG TROUBLE! didn't you hit the bus stop bench,too?

Yea,I think so,I know I got a few dents for that one,after I got them in the car,I couldn,t stop laughing.

Cousteau

so i drove to the north shore today, it being one of those days that i needed to get away from my house and everyone in it. and it was a perfect day outside. while i was up there i bought a dress, and two skirts. and a silver ring. i stopped by dave's house. i watched surfers at sunset beach. on my way home, i was a little over two miles out of Haleiwa on the main road when the engine stalled out. there's a very wide shoulder on the side of the road i was on, so i just pulled over. there was another car also stalled out about 300 feet ahead of me. what to do? well, i'm not one for waiting around, so i crossed the street and stuck my thumb out. i've never had a problem getting a ride this way, but for some reason i stood there a good 15 minutes with almost a steady stream of cars whizzing by and not one fucker stopped to pick me up. i'm in the country fer chrissakes, and i'm a short, blonde, innocent looking female. so what the hell? i went back to my car and stood next to it, with the hood popped up. i made the shaka sign with my hand, but put it up to my ear, like a telephone, and just mouthed the word "phone" as people drove by. so this shiny, red SUV comes barrelling up the road. it's still daylight out so i can see the driver. a haole guy with short blonde hair, probably in his late twenties. i can see him talking on his cell phone. he looks me straight in the eye and keeps driving. eventually someone pulled over, a local guy in a brand new Accord, and let me use his cell to call AAA. here's how the conversation went with the AAA phone operator. AAA: This is triple ay, how may I help you? Me: I need to have my car towed. AAA: What is your membership number? Me: It's 9149828393851 AAA: What is your policy code? Me: It's 514 P AAA: What is the expiration date? Me: July 31, 2000 AAA: What is the phone number you are calling from? Me: I have no idea. I'm calling from a stranger's cell phone who pulled over to help me. AAA: Where is your car? Me: I'm about 3 miles out of Haleiwa on the main highway, going toward Wahiawa. I'm in the middle of the Waialua coffee fields. AAA: (Silence) Me: Hello? AAA: I'm sorry, where are you? Me: I'm a few miles out of Haleiwa, i think it's technically called highway 99 on the map. AAA: Can you spell that for me? Me: What? Spell what? AAA: Ma'am, I'm talking to you from the mainland. I have no idea where you are. You are going to have to spell everything for me. Me thinking to myself: Oh jesus, the tow truck ain't never getting here...

funny thing about cars, you gotta keep putting gas in 'em. it seems like the more you drive, the more gas they need. don't forget to top off the blinker fluid and make sure the muffler bearing gets greased every now and then or it'll wear out and then you're talking big bucks.

so how did you finally get home?

i'll grease your muffler bearing.

Coming from you,that sounds kind of fun.

i guess that depends on the diameter of your muffler baffle exhaust distributer autowidget compressor manifold.

of course after the car died, i popped the hood to pretend i was figuring out what the problem was. PLENTY OF GAS IN MY CAR. fuckhead. just changed my own oil the day before. fuckhead. waterpump and fan just fine. it was the timing belt. fuckhead. mmmwah. the AAA guy showed up in 20-30 minutes. fastest time ever i think. he was so nice too. older local guy from waialua who spoke the thickest pigin i ever heard in my life. brand new truck too. we rode all the way back to honolulu in style, jabbering the whole way and listening to oldies. i walked home from the service station where i had him drop the car off. i'm now leaving for work on my bike! see ya, you weaklings.

we saw a horrible accident within our first half hour of arriving in big bear. we were walking to the lake shore, on our way back, a house across the street, a pup, a tan lab/retriver mix, sees us, happy, runs, barking and laughing, an SUV, behind us we hear, coming on fast, i look back, and look at the dog, looking at the owner trying to call it back, we see it coming. i think if i make any motions or calls to the dog, the dog, he will only come forth with more joy, hoping the calls of the owner click, the driver is going way too fast for a residential area, much less with 4 pedestrians......no screech, just BANG!, my head is turned, a tear gathers in my lower lid, i hear the last few whines of air from this poor happy pup, the owner in tears, the fucker keeps driving, but finally comes back after 5 minutes, his concious whipped him silly. we are all dazed, we saw life taken away in front of our very eyes. i have a tremendous soft spot for animals. this sight impacted our new year with great severity. it was on all of our minds, the replay, the bang, the whimpers, the tears of the owner, the tears of my wife.......no one talked about it, but we all thought it.......was it a preminition? who knows....but man......

I've been party to three serious car-related problems in the few weeks--my mother got in a wreck just after Thanksgiving, skewed across four lanes of traffic just north of San Rafael, a friend of mine coming back from a post-Christmas party wrapped his car around a tree, and another friend's rear window shattered. Lovely. Luckily, none of these people were hurt, but it makes me seriously afraid to drive now. I'm thinking of getting a horse and carriage or something. No speeding tickets, I suppose. Although I never get them anyway.

I hope you are not including my darling CR-V in your rants. It's just a baby SUV, really it's just a Honda Civic station wagon jacked up a bit... and I only play one CD at a time... Gets 22 city 25 highway per the EPA. I got it to deal with the gravel road on the way to harp singings in places like Wilson's Chapel... and because i prefer to just sit down in a car rather than have to go through yogic posturing to get into it.

i am sure it's a nice a car and all, but models like that and and that fucked up Kia called SPORTAGE (wtf?) are just appealing to your desire for a big assed SUV, I link them to the likes of Suzuki Sammari's (spell?), those things were ridiculous then and still are to the poor schmucks that still have them......"it's a jeep (but not really)"

And the rollover factor takes away all the smugness of thinking you convinced everyone you weren't part of the SUV herd. I swear -- I wd take the bus before I bought an SUV/Jeep/Bronco/or truck of any kind.

Here's a story about one less SUV in the world: This is from a radio program of a true report of an incident in Michigan: A guy buys a new Lincoln Navigator for $42,500 and has $560 monthly payments. He and a friend go duck hunting in winter, and of course all the lakes are frozen. These two guys go out on the lake with the guns, the dog, and of course the new vehicle. They drive out onto the lake ice and get ready. Now, they want to make some kind of natural landing area for the ducks, something for the decoys to float on. In order to make a hole large enough to look like something a wandering duck would fly down and land on, it is going to take a little more effort than an ice hole drill. So, out of the back of the new Navigator comes a stick of dynamite with a short, 40-second fuse. Now these two rocket scientists do take into consideration that they want to place the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far from where they are standing (and the new Navigator), because they don’t want to take the risk of slipping on the ice when they run from the burning fuse and possibly go up in smoke with the resulting blast. They light the 40-second fuse and throw the dynamite. Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the vehicle, the guns and the dog? Lets talk about the dog: A highly trained Black Lab used for RETRIEVING. Especially things thrown by the owner. You guessed it; the dog takes off at a high rate of doggy speed on the ice, and captures the stick of dynamite with the 40-second fuse about the time it hits the ice. The two men yell, scream, wave their arms and wonder what to do now. The dog thinks he’s being cheered on and keeps coming. One of the guys grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun is loaded with #8 birdshot, hardly big enough to stop a Black Lab. The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused and of course terrified, thinking these two geniuses have gone insane. The dog takes off to find cover, under the brand new Navigator. ---BOOM!--- Dog and Navigator are blown to bits and sink to the bottom of the lake in a very large hole, leaving the two idiots standing there with this “I can’t believe this happened” look on their faces. The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by the illegal use of explosives is not covered. He still has yet to make the first of those $560 a month payments! And you thought you day was not going well.

im not so against hunting but how is it people of this calibre are allowed to roam the woods with large powerful rifles? poor dog.

pobre perro. en cambio, es un cuento divertido.

Thanks Dougie,I feel a little bit better,my life is hell.

J your life isn't hell. All life is hell.

Patrick, I'm sure you'll be heartbroken: http://www.nytimes.com/2002/07/31/business/31AUTO.html

ive seen that story before. ugh. i hate that. i have no problem with human beings being blown up..half of em deserve it...but every time i read shit about how stupid humans end up hurting an animal it makes my gut hurt.

It's not true. http://www.snopes.com/critters/cruelty/ dynamite.htm (cut and paste)

I thought of Patrick the other day when some American wanker nearly ran me over to ask me if I knew where the Pricewaterhouse Coopers building was. Seeing as I was just in front of it and he was in this big shiny clean 4wheel drive. The car made me think of Patrick not the wanker driving it

so you told him it was 18 blocks and four turns away?

kalli what the fuck are you talking about. the story dougie posted is about SUVs? big shiny and clean but NOT the wanker eh moonit? just WHAT were you thinking?

yeah, no kidding. when i think of patty i think minivan. heh.

I think she was posting about my previous posting about the dudes in Michigan blowing up their SUV on a frozen lake (it blowed up REAL good. Damn I miss SCTV). Sem's a partypooper and a spoilsport.

patrick if youd fucking read the whole thing youd realize a dog exploded. thats what im talking about. shut up ass.

why would i read the whole damn thing? there is six months between that last post and dougie's post yesterday. what...are you assigning homework now...for chrissakes kalli, you WANT me to go around my ass to get to my elbow?

i dont read yesterdays paper

i havent been here in six months. how the fuck am i supposed to know? i just went back and read the thread. jesus christ. pull yer elbow out of yer ass and maybe youd get there quicker. :)

i dont read yesterdays paper neither.

c'mere and gimme some sugar

will you spank me and let me call you daddy?

ah hell

i got yer sugah right here in my pants. next to my ankle. oh yea. you know the spot.

I posted that becuase Kalli was upset about the dog. No dog was blown up in this case.

i was upset. couldnt sleep for TWO nights. poor fictional dog. thanks semmy.

I saw a car on the way home that said "Patrick" on it and I thought of Patrick. True story.

It wasn't one of those annoying mood cars,was it?

No, I think it was a toyota of some kind

I want one of these SUVs.. http://poseur.4x4.org/futuresuv.html

Get The Grand Dominator. You'll get respect in the kiddie drop off lane at school.

I sorta have my eye on the Eliminator. I'm totally over half the soccer mammas in this city anyway..

An SUV for NYC

Go ahead, put a sticker on this bumper

Last Sunday, while my gf and I were driving back home to my place, we saw an SUV overturned in San Francisco, in the middle lane, right where 280 becomes 19th Ave. I don't like SUVs. My sister drives an SUV. I wish she wouldn't. But then again, she never listens to me, so why bother? LS

really? did she get a forerunner?

That she did. LS

i was going to buy her a forerunner as a wedding present. actually, i was going to buy her an s80, but then she started talking about forerunners so i thought 'right on'.