they gave me the wrong cigarettes


sorabji.com: Weeds: they gave me the wrong cigarettes
THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).

By Wisper on Wednesday, May 3, 2000 - 03:40 am:

    they did.
    does white and blue LOOK like red and gold?
    'does dumaurier' SOUND like 'players'?
    do they taste even a bit alike?

    NO!



    trivial, but they did it again.










    and now my lighter won't work.
    damn irony!
    damn you all!


By wisper on Wednesday, May 3, 2000 - 03:44 am:

    p.s.

    La cigarette cause le cancer
    Sante' Canada


    la cigarette- "la"=feminine
    "la cigarette"=feminine word

    le cancer- "le"=masculine
    "le cancer"=masculine word



    interesting.


By MapleLeaf on Wednesday, May 3, 2000 - 08:56 am:

    You can have my lighter....I quit 3 weeks ago ...orange juice tastes so much better now :0)


By Dougie on Wednesday, May 3, 2000 - 10:06 am:

    At least you got some cigarettes, Wisper. Somehow, the little delis and 7-11s near me always seem to conveniently "forget" to put the smokes in the bag with my other purchases, and I get home, and realize they're not in the bag. It's happened a few too many times at these places to be a coincidence, and I watch them like hawks now. Just last week it happened, and I went back to the place, and the arrogant fuck behind the counter said, "Do you swear that there were no cigarettes? Say it, that you swear there were no cigarettes." I said, "Look buddy, there were no fucking cigarettes in my bag when I got home, and this isn't the first time it's happened." He said, "Say that you swear there were no cigarettes." He had the pack in his hand and I grabbed it from him and said, "I swear this is the last time I'm coming in this fucking place. Bye." Anyways, I'm sick of smoking, so I shall quit for the umpteenth time soon.


By patrick on Wednesday, May 3, 2000 - 01:24 pm:

    you should have said "i swear i am gonna rip your face off if you don't give my (insert swear) SMOKES BACK!!"

    ......or something like that. sometime i wish aggravating situations on myself simply to try out new insults.


By Wisper on Wednesday, May 3, 2000 - 02:31 pm:

    i personally enjoy: "(inerst request here) or i'll rip your lungs out through your nose!!"

    that gets 'em going.


By Isolde on Thursday, May 4, 2000 - 08:59 pm:

    I just got a whole bunch of zippos since my grandmother died, and she and her husband were in the navy, and everywhere they went, they got a zippo. I really like zippos. None of this childproof shit.


By moonit on Thursday, May 4, 2000 - 09:59 pm:

    OHHHH yeah. Childproof lighters when the stumbling drunken thing is happening is not a good mix.

    Usually someone just feels sorry for me and lights the damn thing.


By Isolde on Thursday, May 4, 2000 - 11:12 pm:

    I'm kind of ashamed to admit I can't light childproof lighters.


By on Friday, May 5, 2000 - 10:45 am:

    wisper-are you trying to tell us that the female( feminine) is the root of all (masculine) evil? i hope this is true. why do not i learn my language (ie-latin,originally) and assimalate it into my own being, and then use it accordingly? just joking. wouldn't it be nice still, sometimes, if words carried so much weight? or not?

    interesting

    but i guess it would only matter if the word cigarette or cancer had opposite or dual meanings. or then again not.... do not pay any attention to the man behind the curtain
    i am smashed
    please ignore


By patrick on Friday, May 5, 2000 - 11:49 am:

    i lost my zippo of 5 years recently. it was a tough departure. i am on the look out for a new one. not a brand new one, but one that comes with some sort of history, such as the one i lost.


By Warner on Friday, May 5, 2000 - 12:32 pm:

    I didn't write that last message posted by warner...


By Dougie on Friday, May 5, 2000 - 03:17 pm:

    Don't you just love the noise of opening a zippo, the feel of it in your hand, and best of all, the smell of the lighter fluid? Smells like, victory.


By Isolde on Friday, May 5, 2000 - 07:04 pm:

    I love the scent too. Patrick, send my your address and I'll send you a zippo complete with history and sappy Naval art.
    I was one of those crazy people who loved the scent of gas and lighter fluid and solvents...they're such nice smells. So full of character...I don't know. I just like them.


By wisper on Saturday, May 6, 2000 - 01:23 am:

    nailpolish.
    don't forget nailpolish :)
    and of course, even better, nailpolish remover.


By J on Monday, May 8, 2000 - 01:39 pm:

    I love nailpolish remover,it,s graet for cleaning.


By Dougie on Monday, May 8, 2000 - 03:24 pm:

    And paint. I love the smell of a freshly painted room. And fresh cut grass. And gasoline. And pipe tobacco.


By Rhiannon on Monday, May 8, 2000 - 05:33 pm:

    Tennis balls. New carpet. Honeysuckle. The smell the air gets at night in the summer -- earth and wood and foliage and flowers and asphalt and exhaust fumes. Burning leaves. The smell of your own house after you've been away for a long time. Burning charcoal and cooking meat. A clean dog. Babies' heads. Snow.


By Grippe on Monday, May 8, 2000 - 05:39 pm:

    napalm in the morning.


By Dougie on Monday, May 8, 2000 - 05:41 pm:

    My feet after a long day at work.


By Fetidbeaver on Monday, May 8, 2000 - 05:54 pm:

    my shit...it don't stink


By Isolde on Tuesday, May 9, 2000 - 12:10 am:

    The ears of my cats. And skunks. I almost got sprayed coming home last night, but I still really like the smell. Don't frown. I do.


By Nelly on Tuesday, May 9, 2000 - 01:01 am:

    anyone remember mimeograph ink?


By Wisper on Tuesday, May 9, 2000 - 01:57 am:

    anyone remember Spirograph ink?


By Dougie on Tuesday, May 9, 2000 - 08:27 am:

    Or those indelible magic markers.


By semillama on Tuesday, May 9, 2000 - 04:43 pm:

    Hot cedar.

    girl sweat.

    fresh cornbread.

    a clean cat.


By Gee on Wednesday, May 10, 2000 - 02:09 am:

    How interesting. When I was at work yesterday it was really warm out and I was working hard and I realized I was started to sweat too much and I thought "Someone at sorabji likes the smell of sweat. Who was that, again?"

    now I know.


By JusMiceElf on Thursday, May 11, 2000 - 12:30 am:

    You know Isolde, I kind of like skunk smell too...except when it's inextricably linked to the dog sleeping at the foot of my bed.


By Isolde on Thursday, May 11, 2000 - 12:44 am:

    Yeah. I almost got skuned the other night. That was no good. I like it when the scent is faint, not fresh and blaring in the nose...


By OFC on Sunday, June 4, 2000 - 07:20 pm:

    I saw a drunk on Valencia(SF), a drunk that had asked some kid for a cigarette and then a light for the cigarette, the kid
    gave him his cigarette to light the drunks newly acquired smoke. BUT, the drunk was too wasted, he couldn't get the newly
    acquired smoke lit. You could tell he really wanted/needed a smoke.. he kept trying and trying to get it lit. It was windy.
    He couldn't get it lit. I was watching all this as I had parked my bitch P200, and went through the motions of turning off
    the fuel and letting the fuel run through the system so as it would start when I came back from my journey. After taking
    care of all my anoyances of scoooterist behavior ie; helmet/gloves/crap removal, lock, I started to walk up the sidewalk.
    The drunk tried to hand me the cigarette loaned to him to light the cigarette that he had newly required. I noticed the
    kid had got tired of waiting and left. Leaving the "loaned for a light" cigarette with the drunk. The drunk wanted me to
    take the loaned smoke.. it was funny. I kept saying no no no thank you, and the drunk kept trying to give me some kids half smoked smoke.
    Anyways, I like the smell of my two-stroke, not others.


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