He's oh so mellifluous, he's oh so learned, He's oh so witty, and turns a phrase oh so beautifully, And I wish somebody would club his skull in like a baby seal.

Heh heh heh heh heh. I like that thoughtful and sincere expression he has. It says: I am a smart guy who likes sports. I am well-educated. But somewhere deep in my body, testosterone courses. You could force him to do the play by play of the darts match in which he is the target. I would love to help someone assign point values to the parts of his body.

I always get the impression that if you bought him for what he,s worth and sold him for what he thinks he,s worth, you,d be a millionaire.

Yeah Margret, "...that brings Joe Sixpack to the toeline. Joe has been struggling as of late; he worked his way up through the Weeknight Dart Farm Leagues the past couple of years and finally made the bigtime, earning a spot in the coveted Friday Night League, but he just hasn't had that form that earned him the moniker, "Joey Joe Joe Shabadoo." He's 0 and 4 on the road, and 2 and 2 with a no decision here at his home bar, the quaint yet amusing Johnnie's Tavern, and the crowd is with him on this, this glorious evening for darts. At any rate, that's neither here nor there, Ueck, because that's a mighty big dart he's sharpening up and preparing to wield against yours truly. Here's the windup and there's the pitch -- oooh, it's a high inside fast one, hitting me right in the left eye. Bullseye -- you know, I think he got me in the pupil, threading that needle like the old pro he is. Owweeee, that's gotta hurt, and I can tell you that it does indeed. Well, Ueck, Joey certainly has quieted his doubters as to his arm strength, because this sucker is about to come out the back of my head! I haven't seen that kind of stuff from a youngster since I heard on the radio as a kid the fabled broadcast of Mel Allen calling a 1937 dart match in Philly between Lefty Franklin and Righty Gomez. And we'll be back with more of this heroic, epic game of darts, right after these words from our sponsors."

hehehehehehe !!!!!!!!!!!!! Dougie....you just made my day. Thanks

Thanks, MapleLeaf. Glad to be of help.

your Leafs need help eh Maple? Flyers ain't so bad off now are they? Did you catch the longest game in 64 years? holy moly......

Hockey schmockey. Longest game literally or figuratively? To me, they're the same. Flyers may be doing ok, but the sixers are going DOWN tonight. Reggie Miller's da man.

no, literally, the other night flyers and penguins went to 5 overtimes with the flyers finally winning it. thats 8 periods, thats almost three games back to back. 8 hours they played......3rd longest game in NHL history. i think Bouche lost like 8 lbs during that game. Note to dieting men and woman. Play hockey for 8 hours in full gear to loose weight fast. basketball is for the birds

Yeah, I heard about that game. But now, must go watch Indiana kick Philly's butt. Marv Albert, the cross-dresser, and Mike Fratello, the czar of the telestrater await me. Can't they breed generic announcers? Actually, they're the least annoying of the pack. Bill Walton's next on my shitlist. Anyways, play some playground bball in summer in 90 degree heat. You'll lose weight and you'll be playing a game you don't need $900 worth of equipment to play.

Right then. http://www.msnbc.com/onair/bios/b_costas.asp Now I know. - Sometimes I feel like I live on the other side of the world. Oh wait, I do. My cousins play hockey and they are so bloody skinny and now I know why. However I prefer to lift weights and kick/punch air to music rather than slam into walls/people.

Yeah, that's NBC's party line on the guy. The following is a pretty funny take on NBC's coverage of the Olympics. It's not so much a jab at Costas as it is the smarmy, insipid, jingoistic coverage of the Olympics by American TV: http://www.his.com/~tkuster/humor/nbcolympics.htm By the way, my kardiac kids gave me a big scare in the 4th last night in Indy, but they pulled it out as I knew they would.

you know, i have a theory that all the pomp and self-importance that us 'muricans inject into our sports is what keeps us from having things like soccer hooligans. we ritualize it and make it BIG AS 'MURICA enough that we don't need any more excitement, like riots. so be glad.

Oh yeah, it's just wonderful seeing Michael Jackson performing at halftime at the Super Bowl in a show where the production costs could probably feed a small country for a year. I am so glad. Hooray for everything!

Yes Patrick, I watched that game until the end of the third overtime period...I figure if they can't decide it in 6 periods then they are on their own ..besides it was 1.00 AM. A guy I work (?) with stayed up to watch the whole thing...except he missed the goal as he was urinating in the appropriate room at the time...... he is a rookie and didn't realize you keep a container handy near the TV during playoff time :0) The Flyers are looking better. The City of Toronto is in mourning today ....they absolutely stunk the place out....terrible ...a disgrace. I have a vanity plate on my car which also has the Toronto Maple Leaf logo on it. If it wasn't against the law to deface your tags I would be putting a big black X over it. Dougie...the Pacers nearly blew it...Sixers are in trouble now with Snow gone.

michael jackson performed at the superbowl?

Uther, what part of the country are you from?

Uther, how do you pronounce your name? Is it like "ooter" or is like "Luther" with the L lopped off? And by Michael Jackson, I meant some such annoyance as him. A la Kathy Lee Gifford, or Whitney Houston, or the Judds. I think he did perform though, around the time he burnt his hair off doing a Pepsi commercial.

rhiannon: before i answer that question, what makes you ask? do you have a theory of your own you wants me to confirm or disprove? douglas: i've already tole this on the "what are you doing board", but: i got the name after reading the arthurian legends in a little paperback version of bulfinch's mythology. uther pendragon is arthur's father. just dug the sound of it. oothah, is the way it sounds in my mind. you can pronounces it any old way you want. i think i've become inured to 'murican excesses like the superbowl. and over the weekend i heard read an excerpt from a book about soccer hooligans. the bit i heard was wheres the author had followed manchester united supporters to a game in italy where a riot broke out. i heard an englishman say once, a long time ago, that certain types of 'murican grandiosity can be blessings in disguise - keeping it in the screens or the stadiums where it belongs. may be partly true. 'sides, the way we market the superbowl should be the least of the rest of the world's worries concerning us.

'muricans? who says this?

'muricans do. Come on, Patrick, get with the program.

that's the way it always sounds when my father says it. i've always thought we should get a proper name for this country.

Merkin? http://www.odd-sex.com/info/gloss487.htm

No, see, that's why I want to ask. That's how people from the Philly/S. New Jersey/Wilmington area say it. Maybe people from other areas do too...I don't know. I just wanted to see if he was from around here, that's all.

i am currently about 1600 miles from your position, rhiannon. i'm not transcribing my accent, particularly, just talking that way for the hell of it. and i'm proud to be a merkin!

Like I'm proud to be 'canajun'.

today when I came into work, Frank, one of the boys I work with said to me: "You know what I hate? I hate people who say 'The Leaf's are the greatest!' one day and then the next day they say 'the Leaf's suck!'. If you like a team you have to stick by it." Frank is a really interesting guy. You could never tell just by looking at him how proper he is.

Gee....I think it is frustration with the Leafs rather than jumping on and off the bandwagon. Toronto is the center of the hockey universe and it is disappointing that we haven't won the Stanley Cup in 33 years. Stavro should be opening his pockets to pay some decent players to bring the Cup back to Toronto.

i look forward to seeing the flyers bitchsmack the new jersey sluts......

Please, we're getting off the topic of Bob Costas, a man I love to hate. Please, spew venom about him. Make me feel better.