Telemarketers


sorabji.com: Weeds: Telemarketers
THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).

By
Kiahta on Friday, May 25, 2001 - 06:02 pm:

    Nothing is more irritating than the calls you get at some randon hour asking you if want a credit card from a place that gave you one a year ago... If they all went by the wayside I certainly wouldn't mind.


By Nate on Friday, May 25, 2001 - 06:42 pm:

    just say "no [he/she] is not in, may i take a message?"


By Gecko on Saturday, May 26, 2001 - 11:09 am:

    I have a rather odd last name, so I can always tell it is a telemarketer by the way they butcher pronounciation.

    Last week I got one at the absolute wrong time, not that there is a good time, and I decided to have some fun.

    Getting all emotional, I told the woman that she must not have heard about the accident, and went on to describe in horrifying detail how Mr. X, (Me) had been in a horrible car accident in which both of his children had been killed, and he was hanging on for life. I went on to say that he was at Regions Hospital, should she be compelled to visit.

    I was so into the story, I didn't even detect when the telemarketer hung up, but I am quite sure I will be off THAT call list.


By semillama on Saturday, May 26, 2001 - 02:57 pm:

    Good one.

    I talked to a survey girl last night for about a half hour about supermarkets. I didn't have the heart to fuck with her. Besides, that was the longest I've talked on the phone with a member of the opposite sex for months.


By Gecko on Saturday, May 26, 2001 - 05:24 pm:

    I had one of those the other day. It was a vacation destination survey. The woman kept asking questions, even afer I told her that Gary, Indiana and Flint, Michigan were my favorite secluded get away spots, and that the majority of my family vacations were to locations north of the arctic circle, in places yet to be mapped.

    After about 10 minutes, I politely excused myself. She wanted to know when she could call back to finish the survey. I suggested calling me the next day at work, and then gave her the number 651.555.1212. Never heard back.

    I do have empathy for telemarketers though, because I was one for a spell, convincing people to switch long distance. I made 500 calls a day, and they loved me for averaging 10 sales in that span. I was always in the top 10 in the complex in sales, but they decided I could sell 12 if I quit doing crossword puzzles while calling. The day they told me that, I just didn't come back from lunch.


By Nate on Saturday, May 26, 2001 - 09:22 pm:

    "Besides, that was the longest I've talked on the phone with a member of the opposite sex for months."

    without it leading to sex that same day, you mean, right?


By semillama on Sunday, May 27, 2001 - 01:32 pm:

    No. But now that staement is false anyway, as I had a 40 minute phone call from Australia last night. This place is a trip.


By Cat on Sunday, May 27, 2001 - 04:21 pm:

    Sem has a cuteass voice. I took pity on him and didn't sing "Happy Birthday" for which I expect his eternal gratitude.


By semillama on Monday, May 28, 2001 - 12:13 pm:

    Hell, I'll wash your feet for that favor.


By Nate on Monday, May 28, 2001 - 12:36 pm:

    i hope she said "cock" though. nothing like australian women saying "cock".


By semillama on Monday, May 28, 2001 - 01:37 pm:

    I don't recall her saying "cock" but the phrase "death penalty" came up a bit. She's such a romantic one.


By patrick on Tuesday, May 29, 2001 - 11:30 am:

    i know a Kiwi i can ring that would be happy to say such things over the phone.


By Nate on Tuesday, May 29, 2001 - 01:05 pm:

    we're talking about australians.


By patrick on Tuesday, May 29, 2001 - 01:10 pm:

    i realize...but the accent is similar, if not indistiguishable at times.


By Nate on Tuesday, May 29, 2001 - 01:19 pm:

    Kiwis are good eatin.

    but that's nice. that you can get your cock from a kiwi.


By patrick on Tuesday, May 29, 2001 - 01:25 pm:

    Im pretty sure cat and moonit are going to give me shit about how the accents are totally different, i wanted correct my mispelling first.

    indistinguishable


By Cat on Tuesday, May 29, 2001 - 07:09 pm:

    I'm waiting till you correct your grammar too.

    tap, tap, tap.


By patrick on Tuesday, May 29, 2001 - 07:17 pm:

    don't you have a boomerang to go toss around?


By Cat on Tuesday, May 29, 2001 - 07:53 pm:

    Nope, so you'll have to be my chew toy today.

    The Australian accent is very easily distinguished. It's also easy to tell apart from any other accent. (punny me..ha!)

    If you haven't been lucky enough to be exposed to australian at length, your ears aren't used to the wonderful melodic harmony. Poor you.

    In the dozens of times I've talk to Mark on the phone, he's never ever mentioned my accent. I asked him once what he thought of it and he changed the subject. I think he was just too over-awed by the sheer beauty of it to comment.


By Platypus on Tuesday, May 29, 2001 - 09:28 pm:

    Austrailian accents are super-cool. I think I want to marry one. What's the mail-order accent business like in Austrailia, cat?


By moonit on Wednesday, May 30, 2001 - 01:58 am:

    hmmmph.


    my cousin came back from a few months in Melbourne for the Nana thing. I kept asking him what the number is between five and seven but he wouldn't tell me. I was trying to get him back from when I came back and talked Australian.

    sex, sox, six.


By patrick on Wednesday, May 30, 2001 - 11:10 am:

    you talk to mark on the phone?

    damn cat, you took this sorbaji thing pretty seriously.


    im pretty scared to email him, much less, like, you know, talk on the phone.

    just what kind of secret plots are you planning and malicious organizing are you doing over there?





By Czarina on Wednesday, May 30, 2001 - 11:48 am:

    Its always scary when national figureheads unite.
    You're never sure whose best interest they have at heart.


By J on Wednesday, May 30, 2001 - 02:42 pm:

    He overwhelms me.


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